I have been reflecting.

Reflecting the past is not a stupid thing. Rather, it's a very good thing to look back on your past mistakes and learn from them. But what's stupid is reflecting while sitting on the roof of your house in the middle of winter at 3:30am with the snow moderately falling. I hope that my descendants won't follow my stupidity that I instilled on myself, though.

Nonetheless, I really have been reflecting.

Today is January 2, 2020, but I'm actually not reflecting the entire year that has passed. Last month, December 3, I realized some of my hidden feelings. I felt an unexplainable pain in my heart, literally and figuratively. I finally began to understand how Rin had felt for me, every time she sees me in so much pain, and frankly, when I was nearly and slowly losing my life. I was in so much agony that I wasn't able to realize that Rin was feeling immense pain and grief that is perhaps nearly equivalent to mine. Ironically, I may have felt it, but I don't have the full grasp of the feeling of losing someone.

I saw it on the numerous Medical Children, but I was already losing my emotions at that point. The only times that I have felt so hurt is when Grandpa Kinrou died, and when I saw Eijiro closed his eyes directly in my cognition. "Put yourself in someone's shoe," might be the best expression to use for Rin's case.

Of course, I was heavily reminded of the time when I was hit by a truck which literally destroyed my body. I saw it with my very own eyes, so I will never forget the clear vision that I saw before the bumper had hit me. My mind was trying to resist, but my body was unable to.

My life didn't flash before my eyes in Presto, but those memories did. My mind went blank, perhaps because of the terror of seeing that a truck was meters away from hitting Rin. If I was entirely conscious, I might have said that the same scene that happened in an episode of Silver Apple anime was nowhere as frightening as what I saw with my very own eyes. Maybe Rin's mind was resisting but her body can't; but my mind and body thankfully reacted and managed to save her in the nick of time.

While my foot was grinding on the road, I placed myself on Rin's shoe. I asked myself what if Rin was the one suffering all the horror so much that her life was deteriorating to nearly nothing. I realized, when you lost someone that has greatly changed your life, you can't accept that he or she is now gone. Did I actually manage to change Rin's life? If so, is that why she was grieving because of my suffering? If that is truly the case, then I have finally felt it. Rin changed my life significantly, and I refused to accept that it was where it will all end. I was extremely sad and frightened, yet at the same time I was somewhat angered and furious. If a mirror was present at that point, even I might have been scared when I saw my own enraged gaze.

…

If I can't be more stupid… A few weeks ago, I talked to Akira if the two of us can set a schedule to organize a camping trip before the break ends, knowing that winter will persist for a few days in January when the snow should be melting by the 5th. Our plans then led us to a successful endeavor and so we are set to leave today to a camping grounds in Presto.

Of all the places where we can camp, I decided to pick the province of Presto as I have mentioned to Rin a few weeks ago. I am however very relieved that we are not going to Goci, but to a town where the mountains of Payns are seen on the horizon. And that is the reason why I am wide-awake at 3 in the morning. I am reflecting, and at the same time strengthening my will and my stomach as I will be driving. Once again, Tenth lent us an SUV that is parked on my garage.

But really, the best reason why I choose a very specific camping grounds is because I got a tip that Martin Aston, an old senior from the club and a Blue Ink alumnus, will be there on the same date. He has graduated from art college last year, and is now working as a landscape artist for a certain production studio. I hope that he will still remember me once I surprise him.

On the other hand, though, I wasn't expecting the others from the old Art Club to agree easily on the terms of the camping. Pretty much, the six of us are going to spend three days on the outdoors, and it looked like it wasn't even trouble for them at all. Heck, I'm most surprised that Uncle Junpei actually let Shiro join us for that long. I didn't know that they can be adventurous too.

Now that I think about it, I might be having a very familiar feeling on the camping site we're going in to. I took my almost freezing phone out and once again looked at a view seen once we are there on the ground. There are a lot of open grasslands and a tall mountain is seen from afar if the sky is clear. Isn't that really similar to gazing upon Mt. Fuji in Y*ru Camp? If that is actually the case, should I really bring Haku with me?

Nah. He's not a very energetic guy to be called an assassin.

"Hmm?"

I heard an alarm going off from somewhere.

Thinking that I may have been bathed in so much snow for several minutes, I carefully jumped down and immediately went to my bathroom where a hot bath has been waiting for me in advance. Still, even if I don't necessarily catch a normal fever, I think it's still bad to stay so long out in the cold.

Upon walking down to the first floor after that warm but steamy bath, I pointed around the bags placed on my living room and looked back if there might be anything that I may forget. I'm all set in the end. But with that out of the way, I realized that I won't be sitting in this kotatsu for quite a while.

"…

Haku."

"Meow. (Yes, Aruji?)" the cat's head popped out from the futon.

"Should I send you to the other house while I'm away?"

"Meow. (I think I'll just prefer to be here, really. I feel like I'll bother your parents if I'm there.)"

"Well, if that's what you say."

"Meow. (Then why don't you ask Anna to stay here for the duration? Let's make her experience winter alone.)"

"I don't know if you mean it as a good thing but I'll try that. This house can be gloomy when it is cold times, huh?"

"Meow. (Not unless Ringo-ojou is here.)"

"Absolutely."

I debated inside my mind if I will actually eat breakfast or not, needless to say. I can whip up at least a small amount as there are still less than an hour before we leave, but if being wise is considered, I would not do that. If a normal bowl of cereal will make do, so be it as I'm not lactose intolerant at all. I used to eat on large bowls when I'm stressed, like at that one time in chapter 29 of NoFutsuu. Still, I am somewhat scared since this will be my earliest travel, and I would blindly think that anyone will get at least sick if they are actually going on the road at 5am.

"…"

Of course, the corn flakes will get extremely soggy or will just break down if one stupidly put warmed milk on it. That sounds dumb, but I'm not dumb enough to put milk on my cereal that just came out of the fridge. I may just freeze on my back end even with a heater faced on me.

But I think that I might actually be making a statement here; like how pineapples are placed in pizza, or… is ceral actually a soup?

…

One more problem that I just thought about is the quality of our travel. Apart from my early morning motion sickness, that is something that I actually have no idea how it will turn out. Even if we, or I will not be driving up to the mountains of Payns, there are still a few steep roads that I have to get through, and potentially in sunrise at that while it is still somewhat dark. I am at least confident with my stamina behind the wheel now, but I am still anxious of my own driving inexperience.

But what I am most confident at is going there with pure speed and force probably half of the travel time or even less.

I checked the clock that says 4:18am. The weather was saying that it will be a clear day for Presto and the rest of the northern region. Knowing that the cold will effortlessly creep in to my skin once I open the door, I still did and took a peek outside if the snow is still falling, which is not the case anymore. Of course, the sky will not yet show even a small sign of it starting to brighten as the time is still very young. But our chat has started to become lively with all the notifications popping in my phone like microwave popcorn that should have been heated up before it has gone bad.

"…

I'm really good with my analogies, am I not."

Finally, the early bird has come to the grounds of my house. Of course, there's no way that it won't be Jea- Nah, just kidding. It's Rin of course. She entered the house through upstairs and sat in the kotatsu without saying a word, contrary to how vocal she is when she just got in this house. My guess was that she was worried that I may have been traumatized with what happened to her—which I will not lie as I really got in a trauma. Or rather, it might be more correct to say that it came back.

And now I'm thinking that I might actually be wrong with my assumptions. What or who I am seeing right now may just well be the usually timid side of Rin. Without minding my gazes towards her, I let out a sigh of relief.

"Knock knock," Shiro's voice was heard.

"That's open."

"Hoohhh… Thanks for having me."

"Go warm up in the kotatsu with Rin. It's very cold outside, huh," I stood from the futon while giving her a seat.

"You don't have to stand up, you know."

"I was planning on taking out hot chocolate. Want some, Shiro?"

"Oh. I'll have some."

"Where's Nagi, by the way?"

"He's taking his sweet time outside. He actually fetched me earlier before coming here. Dad was giving him a death glare."

"You mean, a cold glare?

Well, your dad is manly and chivalrous, so we can't do anything about that."

"Ah, right. He was asking if you can join him for a drink."

"Why is everyone always inviting me to drink…"

"I've heard that that's just how adults are," Rin finally spoke.

"He could at least let me graduate from high school, you know. I guess I'll buy another bottle of sake once we're in Presto."

"Heeelp. I'm cold," Nagi enters the house.

"You're complaining about the heat in summer and now you're also complaining about the cold?"

"I will never."

"Go sit in the kotatsu and I'll give you a cup."

"Thanks."

"Good morning. Anyone here?" a parted hair was seen from the semi wall.

"Over here, Jean."

"Oh, don't mind if I do," he then automatically sat down in the heated futon while uttering words of comfort. "This is bliss…"

"So the one we're waiting for is…"

"Akira Bentley," suddenly Rin pulled a joke about how Akira's former persona was almost perpetually late for anything.

I found it very funny, but it was only able to put a smile on my face with my usual fashion.

"So how's your stomach, Gin? You'll slow us down if you take many stop overs," Nagi satirically asked.

"I can't be going down for the next five hours. I at least made myself ready… I think."

"Shouldn't it be less than that? We wouldn't be meeting traffic at this hour, you know," he showed his map app on his phone, saying that Presto from here will be more than three hours real time in the fastest route. That was a very big decrement.

"I guess I'll also check the car's sat nav later. Fuel economy is so much better when there's no traffic."

"What's that economy stuff?"

"You'll understand once you're used to driving."

"Sorry I'm late…!" and so Akira Juushiro ran inside the house with his bags falling down his shoulders.

"Dude, don't run in the middle of the winter. Here's hot water so your throat won't burn."

"Thanks…"

"Well, go sit with us to heat up and then we'll head out after ten minutes."

"Are you nervous, Gin?" asked Shiro.

"About driving, yeah. About camping, I'm excited. About coming to Presto again, absolutely."

To be honest, we would probably cry if there is actually something that we forgot to bring. It was just the start of a new decade (which seems very debatable on the net), but we were already talking about our things with regards to this camping trip. At this point, we're pretty much ready or even more than that. It doesn't really seem surprising to us to see each other in this long break, since we pretty much met up in this house yesterday to pack in the tents and other tools in the car. It would be very cold if we just began putting in our stuff there now. I really wouldn't be driving an SUV if we're not this many, but I would really go drive one as this is a trip that I look forward to more than any other ones. Also, the perks of having a car like that is having a large boot that wasn't even filled after all of our things were placed.

"We have full tank, lights are good, no signs of smoke, engine is good too, tires are also not going to explode in a flick of my finger…"

"What's with the last one…"

"Well, we're all set so let's take off."

There is actually one thing about the traffic rules that is always neglected and very understated in this country—there are a lot of drivers that don't use seat belts when on the road, and that is extremely dangerous. But one excuse that I can accurately think of is that they will say that accidents do not happen on safe roads everyday. But I really wouldn't want to imagine the sum of how many people die in this country everyday because of that.

With that in mind, I am very thankful that my friends are really lawful.

"Foot on the pedal, then. We're off!"

~ ~ ~

We are already thirty minutes on the road and we have left the province but we are still on the expressway. Aside from the engine which is already silent, the inside of the car was still very quiet. I could have sworn that any one of these people will ask to play Northern music to the speakers of the car, but they are just sitting silently.

I am also still feeling fine.

"You didn't bring a book with you today, Rin?"

"I actually did bring two."

"You're not going to read them now?"

"This isn't a bullet train so the ride will feel bumpy. It will make me dizzy even if I have the lights on."

"You'll really read if you're confident that you won't be lightheaded, yes?"

"Most probably."

"I like your reading face, though."

"Have your eyes on the road, dummy."

I guess I can now understand why they decided to stay silent and hold idle talks that end very abruptly. They might want to preserve the peacefulness, and heck, I may even be unable to hear any anisong in this three days now that I think about it. It is just past 5:30 and the sky is still very dark. Even I would want this silence at this time and just steal glances at Rin while she reads a book. But I of course can't since I'm driving and Rin can't read for a long duration in the car.

I noticed from the rear-view mirror that Nagi leaned Shiro's head on his shoulder as she has fallen asleep. I had a deep thought and racked my brain if I can remember if I actually have relaxing and peaceful music in my library.

"I just remembered a playlist, Rin," I whispered. "Can you connect my phone to the car?"

I finally recalled that I made a playlist or compilation of music that was made by Japanese producers. Really, background music in anime is underrated since it's just in the background. But what will happen if it is played in this silence? It takes over the foreground.

~ ~ ~

A solid hour later without throwing up, we have gained a little bit of altitude. Even if Cotona and the Capital is nearly in the center of the country geographically, we are now a kilometer away from the sea shore and we are not even in Presto yet. One thing that this route has a one-up against the bullet train is this view. The sun has just started to rise and the illumination has made the horizon and the sea glisten gracefully. It was in itself a gift for our great endeavor of traveling early as we anticipate the sight.

"Hey. While we're near the sea, let's stop for a bit. My back's hurting already."

"You sure you're not just going to vomit?" Akira teased.

"Mention that word again and we'll get to the site late."

We then stepped out of the vehicle and watched the sunrise on a parking space by a cliff. We've come here early but there are already several people and cars parked before us, perhaps also to watch the sun surfacing from its slumber. We are still quite a distance from the beach, but I have realized that this might well be my first time seeing the sea with my eyes. I wouldn't dare point my finger to the horizon and utter words like the Marle- the enemies are on the other side of the sea. I don't want to live in a world like that.

"Haaaaaaaaa…" with my arms spread about and eyes closed, I took a deep breath and picked up the scent of the sea.

Nagi then looked with a rather dissatisfied face, "You're seriously doing this again, Gin?"

"I need oxygen so I won't screw up in the next hour or so. Haaaaaa…"

My back also needed a stretch.

~ ~ ~

"Towa Camping Grounds", is what a wooden signage said.

The travel was more or less three and a half hours, and we really avoided so much traffic congestion surprisingly. While Goci is the closest city to Payns and the mountain ranges, we wouldn't want to camp on the foot of a mountain if we would want to see the mountain view. And needless to say, I might have developed an allergy to Goci. Thus, the campsite that we chose is two cities away from Goci, and the mountain is very visible with the clear skies.

500 meters from the entrance, and we finally reached the intended parking lot of the site. Our legs that was nearly numbing out found a space to move as we are finally out of the car. Unexpectedly, Akira started and led a set of stretching before heading out. Contrary to the thinking that we looked like stooges stretching in the parking, we are actually not. There are also campers that just arrived that were doing the same thing. It's not unthinkable that they might even be from a farther place than Cotona.

Finally with fully mobile physiques, the guys took out all the equipment while the two girls only carried their own bags. While almost forgetting to check in to the reception building, Akira and I took care of that and we were introduced to the terms and rules of the site. We then headed out on foot and enjoyed the changing view. With a map on hand, we found some nice places that was highlighted and took some snaps of it.

In actuality, Akira and I chose this campsite while considering practicality. We are not going to camp in a forest so there is no way that we will go the primitive way. We are here for the purpose of enjoying ourselves before we even go back to high school for the final three months. That is, if we will actually graduate.

Distractions aside, we have pinned where the comfort rooms are and there is even a bathhouse that we can use for an extra penny. There is even an option to buy a rope of firewood, but we all think that it will be much more recreational if we pick the wood and fire starters in the actual forest by ourselves.

Afterwards, we have finally found a place where we will be setting up camp. I might have mentioned this earlier, but there really is a lush field of grass that may be the size of two and a half football fields. Looking upfront, the mountain was seen, tall and high, and seen on the right of our perspectives. We could have stopped walking and set up our tents, but we all unconsciously agreed that there is still one place that we want to see before finally having settled. Moreover, this country is just as unsafe as ever so we can’t just put down our bags unattended.

Man, I miss how I can just leave my stuff everywhere in Japan and it won’t even be stolen.

…

Inside the diameter of the camping grounds lies a lake that is beside the grasslands. At first glance, it is already bigger than the lake found in the Zen Park. Pretty much, the lake is the prime spot of this site and hence, the place is named after it, which is Lake Towa. As it is still somewhat early in the day, the hills surrounding the lake is enveloped with white mist, and the scent around it is taken over by the organic smell of the trees. Really, it hurts to know that this place will be hit by a meteor someti-

“Potato, can you stop pulling so many references?”

“I can’t help it you know! I’m getting a very similar vibe here.”

Still, it was not a hindrance for the other campers to set up their camp around the lake, which we also planned to do if there is actually a far enough space that we can go to without bothering the others. The fog is thickest over the lake, but I was already seeing people on boats and paddles while some are also sitting on the dock while fishing.

“I guess I know what we’ll eat for lunch later!”

“Uhh. As much as I’d like to catch some, we don’t even have any fishing equipment,” Jean mentioned.

“This lakeside campsite won’t earn if they won’t even rent fishing rods and sell baits to campers.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that.”

~ ~ ~

Finally, our sore shoulders and legs have eased up from all the carrying and walking. We came back to the grasslands and took out the tents from the bags. In total, there will be three tents set up as we are six so three pairs will be sharing them. Of course, Shiro and Rin will be on the same tent.

Surprisingly enough, Nagi is the only one in our group that has gone camping so he actually has the most experience out of us merry bunch. He got an idea of making Jean, Akira, and I race on who will be the fastest to build the tents. I am confident that the other two also have a clear idea on how to build them, but I only found myself being competitive in the stupidest things. I am however banned from using my speed on making them as it will be a very clear disadvantage for the other two.

…

Anyways, I still finished first.

“I was so sure that you were going to split open the ground when you hammered down the pegs… Thank goodness you didn’t!” exclaimed Nagi after he felt a vibration from under his feet.

But apart from that, we set up a table and our own individual folding chairs while we split the work as half of the six is gathering wood to start a fire. Not to mention, but picking up firewood for three days’ worth is where my endurance shines. Still, Nagi was much better on picking the best state of wood as he was rejecting so many of the ones I took. I didn’t consider that the soil was damp, and so is the wood but it was still nonetheless hard to find very dried branches. But then again, I found some small logs so I abruptly borrowed an axe from other campers in exchange of helping them chop theirs too.

Thirty minutes later, two campfires were lit over a stone base that I picked up somewhere to avoid burning the grass. I didn’t come unprepared to not know of that in advance.

And I have basically mastered the art of starting fire after two years of isolation being semi-primitive.

~ ~ ~

On the other hand, the lake is yielding a lot of fish and it does seem that the underwater surface of the body of water is not damaged. Shelters for the fish, banzai. In the end, Rin and I managed to catch a bucket of quite fat fishes, but most of the credit goes to Rin as it looked like the fish is more drawn to her. I am now questioning if she is an amateur at this.

But if fishes are drawn in to her, then I might as well be a fish too.

The fish was then grilled-

I might as well be a fish, but not grilled.

The fish was then grilled over the open fire since there is no other way to cook them whole anyway. And even if we brought a pot (for a hotpot) with us, we wouldn’t dare to put it under the coal we made as the ash will build up under it. There is no way that we will forget a portable stove, and that is not a flag that we actually forgot it. I checked just now.

▪ ▪ ▪

Afternoon.

Rumble~~~

“Whose was that?” Nagi asked while looking at all of us.

“Ah, that’s mine,” I then spoke without a loss of nonchalance.

“Potato, we just had lunch three hours ago and you’re hungry again?”

“What do you know, I only ate cereal on breakfast so I’ll surely end up like this.”

“Are you going to go to the lake again?”

“Nah, I’ll go pick some mushrooms in the woods.”

“You’ll die, you idiot.”

“I was just joking, Nagi. I came prepared when I get hungry before dinner, you know.

Does the kettle have hot water in it?”

“Yeah. What are you going to do with it?”

“What else?”

With a (should not) be confident expression on my face, I took out a cup ramen from my bag and filled it with hot water. Guess what the flavor is.

Of course, curry.

“Oooohhhhh… That’s warm and spicy!”

(° — °)

The above is pretty much the face the others are making.

“Nadeshiko, the absurd amount of references in this story is what’s going to make this story done for.”