When he entered his apartment, Lysander sank back against his front door and took a moment to silently freak out, scrubbing his hands over his face and internally screaming. He only allowed himself to do this for a minute, maybe two, before he forced his feet into his bedroom and dug out his old backpack. The straps had started to fray and one of the front pocket’s zippers had broken, but it would still work. He threw a handful of spare clothes into it and moved on to the kitchen. Pulling out some stained tupperware, he poured pet food into two separate containers and pressed the lids firmly onto them.

It was as he was finishing up this task that Lexi and Noah slipped back into the apartment from the back door. Lysander had found their things shoved into a corner of his closet, so he had known they would be back. Noah was rubbing his butt and grimacing and they were arguing about how Lexi had thrown him over the fence instead of boosting him over, but Lysander couldn’t even form words to contribute. He simply stopped what he was doing and waited for them to finish.

Lexi noticed him almost immediately and cocked her head to the side curiously. “Hey, sorry we bailed, but I was hanging out on your roof and saw you heading home being tailed by a ton of BP, so we jumped ship for a bit. Are you mad?”

Shaking his head, Lysander pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, I’m not mad. It was the right call. Anthony Campbell was waiting for me to open my door. I don’t know what he wanted to find, but it’s good he didn’t see you.”

“Then why do you look like someone kicked Bingley?” she asked. Noah had taken a seat on the sofa and was massaging his lower back.

“I need you to take me to that farmer commune you told me about,” Lysander stated. At the pronouncement, Noah and Lexi turned and looked at each other, surprised, before they turned to face Lysander again.

“I thought you said that was a bad idea?” Lexi questioned, genuinely confused by the turn.

Groaning, Lysander leaned back against the counter, feeling his knees starting to quake slightly from the amount of adrenaline pumping through him. “Anthony Campbell just told me that he would kill me if I didn’t stop trying to keep the Barrier from being shortened, so I don’t really have much choice anymore.”

“Wait, what?” Noah piped in. “I don’t follow your logic at all.”

“Look, I thought I had all this time! But now I don’t, and nothing me or Miria or anyone does is going to change Anthony Campbell’s mind, so if we’re going to save all these people, then we need to find a solution drastic enough that the council has to listen, even with Anthony slithering around in the shadows. And the only thing I can think of to try is your idea. If we can find a solution to the food crisis, the council has to at least hear us out.”

“So, what? We go out there, convince some Shifteds to grow food for the city, come back and jump in front the council and wave our hands and say we magically found the solution while also somehow avoiding the entirety of Barrier Patrol?” Noah asked skeptically.

“Do you have a better idea?” Lysander shouted, stress forcing its way out of his mouth. Noah blinked in shock and opened his mouth to retort, but Lexi beat him to it.

“No,” she stated firmly.

Lysander turned to her. “Like, no you don’t have a better idea or no to the plan?”

“I’m not taking you out of the city, and I’m not going to put you at risk by letting you go against a direct threat,” she explained, crossing her arms and glaring.

“If-If you don’t take me, then I’ll go on my own!” Lysander argued. It wasn’t until he had said it that he realized it was true. Even if it meant dooming himself, he would make the attempt, at the very least. He needed to, after the mess he had made of everything else.

Lexi scoffed. “Like hell you will.”

“Please just do this for me. I need to do this,” he begged, abandoning the last scraps of dignity he had, “Think about it this way, if you take me out of the city, I’ll be away from Anthony Campbell and whatever he wants to do to me.”

“Yes, but then you’ll be in far greater danger of death from simply existing. I refuse to let you throw your life away. I’ve done too much work to save it.”

Letting out a growl of pure frustration, he continued the argument, “I didn’t ask you to do any of that! Please, Lexi, I have to try. This is my last option.”

Still glaring at him, she considered the point for a moment. Then she turned and looked at Noah, who raised an eyebrow in return. “I’ll agree to it only if we can get Tessa to come.”

“What?!” Noah shouted, leaping from the sofa.

Lysander’s heart was thundering in his chest, anticipation replacing the despair. “Let’s go talk to her then!”

“Fuck no!” Noah rebutted. “I told you I refuse to work with her!”

“If she’s with us, she can protect Lysander with her powers. Without her, we’re not going,” Lexi explained.

“And why the hell should we even begin to trust her? She’s a flake,” Noah argued, getting more heated the longer the idea swam between them.

Lexi sighed, pushing some loose strands of hair out of her face and behind her ear. “I think we can risk it. Besides, she’s been getting closer to us, and the longer we don’t deal with her, the more chance we have that she’ll just stumble up to us one day without warning.”

“Fine. It’s your funeral. But I’m staying here. I don’t want to see her,” Noah pouted, crossing his arms and thudding back down onto the couch.

Rolling her eyes, Lexi said, “Oh my god, get over yourself. I know it sucks and I’m sorry, but this is what’s going to happen.”

What followed could only be described as a silent standoff, the pair of them trying to glare each other into oblivion, before Noah finally caved, turning his face away and slumping back. Lysander caught the very edge of an almost lost look as Noah hid his face from them. “Okay, fine. I can’t let you do it alone anyways.”

“Alright then. Lysander, do you know where we could find Tessa at this hour?” Lexi asked, returning her attention to him. “Also, what about the animals? We’re gonna be gone for days. It’s not like they can feed themselves.”

It took a moment for Lysander to fully catch up to the situation. He had begun preparations to leave without actually expecting to do so. Had, indeed, only thought through the very bare minimum of consequences for his departure. He had packed food for Bingley and the cats without even knowing who would give it to them or what he would do with them. Asking Miria was out of the question. Anthony would know if he did that, and then he would know that Lysander had left town. He was hoping that even if he didn’t show up for work for the next several days, Anthony would think that his threat had simply cowed him into a corner and that he was avoiding Miria, but if he left the pets with her, then the truth would be obvious.

As for the Tessa matter, he realized he didn’t know anything about her other than her relationship with the people in this room and her job at the council offices. Shaking his head, he admitted, “I don’t know.”

Groaning and dragging his fingers down his face, Noah objected, “Why do we even need to take him? We can just do it with the two of us.”

“No!” Lysander immediately blurted. “I have to come.”

“Why though? Once you leave the Barrier, you’re risking either dying or becoming like us. You’ll never be normal again, even with Tessa there,” Noah pointed out.

Lysander knew all that, but the reality of it still stung and twisted his stomach. He was risking so much by trying to go through with this plan, but he had gambled away more with his first one, had lost his entire family to a poorly thought through attempt at saving this city. At this point, the least he could do was put his own life on the line for it. “Because I have to. How will the Shifted guys know that you’re serious without someone from the city to back you up?”

“Y’know, I have an argument for that too, but the only reason I didn’t want you to come was so that I wouldn’t have to see Tessa, and that becomes moot if we bring her anyways, so whatever, I don’t care anymore.”

A knock came at the door, freezing all three of them in place. Lexi skirted carefully around the living room, avoiding all the boxes and dog toys scattered everywhere to reach the peephole. Glancing through, she went through the process of unlocking the door and cracked it open only long enough to pull Ramon through and slam it behind him.

“Whoa, what the hell?” Ramon asked gruffly.

Lysander scratched the nape of his neck, suddenly embarrassed by the hectic energy coursing through the apartment. “I don’t even know where to start,” he admitted lamely before proceeding to fill his friend in on the entire sequence of events since he had left several days previously.

“Shit. That bad, huh?” Ramon muttered, hands on his hips as he thought through it all. “Fine. When do we leave?”

“Uh, never? You’re not coming,” Lysander said.

“The fuck I’m not. That freak threatened me too, and you are not about to walk out of this city with these two weirdos without me. You can leave the animals with my parents. Mama will love to have something else to dote over as long as she doesn’t have to buy it food.”

“No! Lexi, tell him he can’t come,” Lysander pleaded, turning widened begging eyes on her.

She barely even looked at him. “You can help protect Lysander and Noah. You’re in.”

“And the circus expands,” Noah muttered.

“How can he protect us? Ramon doesn’t have any magic powers! He’s just a guy like me!” Lysander insisted.

“No, but he can take a punch, at least. The two of you will blow over if someone breathes on you wrong,” Lexi explained. “It’s his decision, anyways. If he wants to come, then he comes.”

“So it’s fine if Ramon wants to risk his life, but not me?” Lysander asked petulantly.

Lexi cut him a glance. “The difference is that I don’t give a flying flip what happens to Ramon. I told you, I put way too much work into your sorry ass for you to just kick it now.”

“See, this is why I have to come. Y’all are toxic as fuck,” Ramon said, shaking his head, “Nothing gonna get done with you two leading the charge.”

“There, it’s decided,” Lexi stated, “Now let’s get down to business.”

-

Corralling his cats into their carriers took every single person present, but after they finally achieved it and leashed up Bingley, Ramon and Lysander left through the front door with the dog while Lexi and Noah snuck out the back with the cats. If Anthony caught any of this on film, Lysander hoped it would just look like he was taking a walk instead of the grand escape it really was. Lexi assured him she knew how to avoid notice without really disclosing how she did so (Noah had tried to explain that he had calculated all camera angles and locations and had drawn detailed maps of safe spots for them to sneak through, but Lysander had tuned him out halfway through). The train ride back into the city jangled his nerves, and he kept a hand dug into the thick fur around Bingley’s neck. The dog seemed pleased to be around all the people, his tongue lolling out of his mouth as he huffed and sat patiently between Lysander and Ramon’s knees. Thankfully, Lysander had taken Bingley once or twice on the train before, mostly to give the dog a change of scenery at the parks that dotted the city lakeshore. Lexi and Noah would follow on the next train, both of them donning bulky hoods to avoid direct shots of their faces.

“Are you sure your parents won’t mind having all these animals in their apartment?” Lysander asked quietly.

“My dad loves cats, so I’m sure he’ll be cool with that, and mama will probably fall in love with Bingley as soon as he slobbers on her hand, so it’ll be fine,” Ramon responded with a shrug. “Are you sure that you know what you’re doing? I feel like a broken record with this, but you just keep digging yourself into dumber and dumber holes, so I feel like I have to keep asking.”

“I don’t know,” Lysander muttered, voice tiny and hands shaking. “I don’t know what else to do, which is what I always say, but it doesn’t stop being true. As wild as all my ideas seem to be, no one else is coming up with anything better.”

“Well, this is one of your better ones, honestly. Minus all the potential dying, I mean.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Lysander grumbled.

Ramon smacked him in the shoulder good-naturedly. “I’m messing with you, but for real, I feel good about this. We could really change things around here, yeah?”

At this, Lysander allowed himself to think about the future he was trying to make. He thought about his mother’s journal and how his parents fought for the suburbs and won, and he channeled that success and felt hopeful for the first time since he picked up the phone to a sobbing Miria. Even if Anthony had pushed him to this point, Lysander felt that maybe this was the path to the greatest success. Clearly only something huge was going to change anything here, and if he could usher that in, then maybe he could start to forgive himself for all the other stuff. “Yeah, I think we can.”

The stars zoomed past outside the window, blurring into long lines of light in the sky. In the distance, he saw the towering buildings of the skyline, all of them lit to block out the night, and he felt a current of affection for this place burn through him at the sight, especially as he imagined all the people living their lives hidden behind the brick and mortar and concrete and glass of all those buildings.

Determination, pure and fierce, coursed down his spine. He could stand against Anthony Campbell and win. When he came back here, everything would be different and it would be better. He knew it, this time for real.

Miria startled from her book at the sound of the doorbell chiming. Glancing at the clock on the mantle, she saw the hands pointed at a truly absurd hour of the night, far too late for any respectable guests. Worried now, she pulled a cardigan over her ratty pajama shirt and rushed to the front door, hoping the noise hadn’t woken Julia or any of the other staff. As much as she hadn’t wanted to keep so many household employees–as nice as it was not having to clean or cook for herself, it could feel stifling to have people always swarming around her–she couldn’t bring herself to let any of them go without any assurance they wouldn’t be homeless if she did so. Entering the foyer, the marble chilling her bare feet, she found herself alone and hurried to the door before whoever it was could ring again. Shifting the thick curtains of the window that framed the door, she recoiled when she saw Lysander standing on the stoop, darkness enveloping the back of his figure but face lit by the lantern overhead. He looked frantic, totally at odds with the late hour, his foot jiggling and teeth digging into his bottom lip.

Unlocking the door, she cracked it open. As soon as he saw her face, he deflated with relief. “Oh thank god, I’m glad you were awake,” he stated.

“Lys? Is everything okay? What are you doing here?” she asked, glancing behind him into the night.

“Yeah, no, I’m good. Sorry, I know this is really weird, but I had to talk to you,” he fired off rapidly, which did nothing to soothe her anxiety about the situation. Even if she had trouble sleeping–a problem that had only grown with the death of her father–she had no reason to ever expect late night visits.

“Okay, well, come on in,” she said, widening the door to allow him in. He didn’t move, though, just continued to stand on the stoop, foot tap, tap, tapping.

“I, uh, I can’t right now. Listen, I’m not gonna be able to go to work for the next few days. I should be back by next week, but I left all my ideas on my desk, so you should still be able to work on the plan,” he blurted. Miria froze, surprise clouding out concern.

“What, why?” She didn’t understand any of this. Maybe she had fallen asleep earlier and this was a waking nightmare. But no, even in a nightmare, Lysander wouldn’t abandon her like this without so much as a cursory explanation.

He sighed, pulling on his hair. She watched the motion. It had always been his tell for when he felt overwhelmed, but she couldn’t figure out how it applied to the here and now. Maybe she had asked too much of him when she requested he be her assistant? He clearly still had a lot of issues to work through, so maybe he couldn’t take the pressure?

(‘Neither can I, damn it!’ But she would never say that, already stuffing the voice back to where it belonged deep in her subconscious.)

“I can’t really explain right now. I just think I need to take some time for myself,” he admitted.

(‘Well, how nice for you!’ shouted the voice again, and again she pushed it away.)

“I understand,” she muttered. “Rest up and come back next week, yeah? I need you when I present.”

“Of course I’ll be there, Mir,” he assured. “I’ll explain everything when I come back, okay? I just need to get it all straight in my own head first.”

Laying a hand on his bicep, she nodded. “I get it, Lys. Take care of yourself first.”

(‘Take me with you. Don’t leave me!’ And this time, it was a struggle to smother it.)

“I will. I’ll be back in before you know it,” he said, and then he pulled her into a hug, his arms tight around her. She returned it immediately, hands gripping his shirt, the fabric bunching in her fists. Already he felt ethereal to her, a phantom about to slip from her grasp, but she had no idea why.

As soon as he released her, she dropped her own arms and bid him farewell, but the effort it took to close the front door on him was monumental. Her whole body screamed at the temporary loss of his back to help shoulder her burdens.

But the inches slowly disappeared until all that was left in front of her was a solid wooden door.

And she returned to the home office with all of its reminders of a life lived intertwined with his, alone now.

(‘Always alone,’ it muttered, but she could no longer tell if it was only in her head or not.)