Vajira

She sits in the main tent of the encampment of the Desertwalkers and reads in one of the many novels she owns. Despite it being one of her favourite ones, the words seep out of her mind the moment her eyes have moved past them. All she can think of is the fact she’s the Queen Mother and that the whole existence of Menkarkind rests on her shoulders. It’s too much for her. It would be too much for everyone, she thinks, and closes the book. But why does it have to be me? Why not someone else? Uncertain about everything, she moves from her part of the tent to the main one.

The table and the chairs haven’t been touched by anyone. There’s even a map on the smooth metal surface of the table next to one of the main communication devices used among the Desertwalkers.

Feeling uneasy, Vajira sits down and looks at the map. It’s of the Valonian Desert with a plethora of notes written in Talliomere‘s, Weldenwall‘s and Geniva‘s handwriting. A few notes contradict each other. Especially those marking certain places, Vajira remembers they’ve stayed at.

Next, her eyes fall upon an official looking list. Curious, she takes it. It’s a list of names with the moniker The Starblazer Inicident printed at the top. To her dismay, her name as well as Tuonis’ and a bunch of names from his crew are on it. But before she can read more of the notes on the printout, the communication device next to the map springs to life.

„HQ, do you copy?“, asks someone over the crackling static. „Here’s the Cometgracer, over.“

Uncertain, Vajira picks up the old-fashioned speaker.

„Vajira, here,“ she says, reluctant into it. „Who exactly am I speaking to?“

„It’s Elgevin,“ answers the Menkar at the other end. „Where are Talliomere and Weldenwall? Has something happened?“

„A motion alarm went off,“ Vajira answers. „They and Geniva are currently investigating it with some of the riders. It’ll take a while. But why are you calling? Has something happened on your end? Please tell me that Tuo is okay!“

„There’s no need to panic. Everything’s as it should be. No problems anywhere. I was just requested by Talliomere to call back once we’re about to arrive.“

„How close are you?“

„We arrive in perhaps half an hour. Maybe more, maybe less. But since you told me that Talliomere and the others are currently investigating something, I’ll tell the Captain that we take a little more time. A few more minutes won’t make that much of a difference. Besides, you sound sad, did something happen to you?“

„No, I’m just worried about this alarm and Tuonis returning safely.“

„I can call him, if you want. I bet he’s very eager to talk to you.“

This is tempting, but Vajira feels too conflicted at the moment to indulge. There’s also another feeling within her. One, she’s ashamed to have, yet it burns bright. Talliomere has kept my true nature a secret from me, she ponders with a frown. What else has he lied about? And why do I have to stay here inside the tent, do nothing all day, and wait until the Fleet comes and gets me? I don’t want this but… No. I… I shouldn’t… Yet…

„No,“ she replies heavy hearted, for she’s about to consciously disobey Talliomere for the first time in her life. „And don’t slow down. I… I think I can take care of helping with the docking process. I’ve seen it often enough to know what to do.“

„Then I’ll tell Captain Junpid about it,“ says Elgevin with an audible smile. „He’ll be more than happy to have you be the first Walker he sees after this journey.“

„I’ll need to go now,“ she says in a subdued tone. „The dockworkers need to know that you arrive soon.“

„Please do! The Captain can’t wait to see you again.“

Smiling and blushing while thinking about Tuonis, Vajira hangs the speaker back up. After a moment she needs to collect her emotions and thoughts, she steps towards the entrance of the tent. The heavy fabric placed there to keep most of the dust outside feels heavier than usual.

Vajira pauses. Yes, Talliomere had lied to her, if omitting the truth can be called lying, but he had done so out of love. He loves her like he would love any young Menkar, but she isn’t young anymore. She’s an adult, and aquatic Drones don’t care about adults, and not that much about Morphlings either. They just care about Hatchlings until they’re old enough to leave the water. If he doesn’t let me out, Vajira tells herself. I need to do it myself. It’s time for me to swim on my own.

With that resolves, she pushes the fabric aside and leaves the main tent, heading towards the docking area. Yet, every step feels like a heavy burden.

—

Respin

Respin would’ve expected many things after telling Vanum his decision, but being kicked out wasn’t among them.

From one moment to the next, he’s thrown out of the Dreamworld into darkness. But not for long. As he opens his eyes to blinding light, he closes them immediately. A few moments later — at least he thinks so — someone touches him lightly on the forehead.

„Hey? Can you hear me?”, a female voice asks right beside him.

„I… I think I do,” he replies in a hoarse whisper, which makes him terribly aware of the sourness of his throat and gills. „Water… I need… water.”

„One moment,” the voice says, and the cool touch leaves his forehead.

Slow, he tries to open his eyes again. Blinking owlishly he manages to take in his surroundings, albeit the light is blinding him and turning everything into a blur. Being forced to use his other senses, he moves his hands and spreads his fingers. I’m on a clean bed, he notes. The air smells like a medical bay…

Suddenly, two shadows beside his bed cut the bright light off.

„I’ve the water”, says the one who has talked to him a few moments ago.

Gently, they place something like a cup at his lips. Once Respin feels the cool water, he can’t help himself but drink as much as he can. Once the cup’s empty, the shadow next to him shifts. A second later, something pleasantly cool and moist is placed on his gills. Never before has he been so grateful for some drops of water on his gills.

„Where am I?” he asks after some time and opens his eyes, looking at a petit female terrestrial Drone.

„On board the Cometgracer, a Flare under Tuonis Junpid's command. You most likely know us as Cult of the Pale God,” she tells him while taking some notes on a clipboard. „My name is Urania Farah, and I'm serving as one of two head medics on this Flare. The other one is Tarrat Sarpam.”

„My head hurts…”, he laments, since he has just processed a fraction of all the information.

„I'm going to adjust the painkillers,” she replies and does something outside his field of vision.

„How have I ended up here?”, he asks, while his vision becomes less blurry.

„What is the last thing you remember?”, she asks instead of answering his question.

„Being on a life-ship with… with a white-haired alien,” he answers after a few moments of sorting his foggy head out.

„This was the Pale God. She’s in another part of the ship.”

Upon those words, a flesh of a memory shot through his mind. Seriously? No. I haven't allowed you to die, buddy. Like an echoes, Selene's voice resounds within his head and makes him feel ill. At the same time, he also remembers the first time he woke up on the life-ship and his conversation with Vanum in the dream he had on the ship as well as the one he just left.

„I can’t trust her,” he mumbles.

„What was that?”, Urania asks with a smile.

„Nothing…”, he replies weak.

„Well, if you need something, don’t hesitate and ask,“ Urania tells him and gives him a small remote with two buttons on it. „I’ll go and check on some of the other patients now. If you require assistance, feel free to push the red button.“

He nods and closes his eyes to rest.

—

Amaris

Amaris idles inside the lab of the Medical Bay. She has offered Urania to help her do some cataloging, since the Cometgracer soon arrives at the encampment of the Desertwalkers and restocking will be in order. They work for a while until a timer goes off on Urania’s belt, signalling that it’s time for to check on her patients.

„Be a dear and wait until I’m back again before you continue with the inventory,“ she says with a warm, caring smile.

I will, Amaris answers and takes a seat on one of the stools inside the lab.

Urania thanks her and moves out, leaving her alone with her thoughts as well as the Being of the Void.

Feeling cursed, Amaris remembers how Respin looked resting on the bed. With this recent memory also a myriad of older memories surfaces. Old images of the days of her Morphlinghood, where she spent her time with Respin talking, reading, and playing. At the same time regret fills her as rare as it is and makes her wish to make everything undone.

I CAN NULLIFY OUR PACT, IF THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT, the voice in her head offers. BUT YOU WILL DIE IF YOU DO SO. YOUR WOUNDS WOULD BECOME PRONE TO INFECTION SO SEVERE THAT NEITHER URANIA NOR TARAT COULD FIX IT.

I do not want to die, she replies, digging her fingers into the fabric of her black pants. But… I…

BACK THEN, YOU WANTED TO SURVIVE TO MAKE SURE HE WAS OKAY, it reminds her. YOU WATCHED HIM FROM THE SHADOWS, UNTIL HE WENT WITH SERFIN INTO THE FLEET-PROGRAM. YOU NEVER SHOWED YOURSELF TO HIM, BACK THEN. SO, WHY NOW? WHY NOT LET HIM THINK YOU ARE SOMEONE ELSE?

Because it is not right! I also do not doubt he will recognise me. You also did tell me I should do so. Look after him. He might need your aid. Those were the words you told me earlier, do you not remember?

JUST BECAUSE I TELL YOU SOMETHING DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO LISTEN. IT IS NOT MY NATURE TO IMPOSE MY WAY OF ACTING OR THINKING ON OTHERS. IF YOU ASK FOR ADVICE YOU WILL GET IT, BUT YOU DO NOT HAVE TO FOLLOW IT.

„Amaris!“, calls Urania and storms into the lab. „He woke up! It’s a medical miracle!“

Too shocked to react in the spot, Amaris just stares at her as she runs out again.

THIS IS YOUR CHANCE, the Being of the Void tells her.

No. It is better if I keep my distance, she replies and stands up slowly.

HE HAS A PACT NOW.

What did you do?, she asks, panicked. What did you tell him? Did you trick him?

YOU KNOW, I DO NOT TREAT PACTS LIGHTLY. I TOLD HIM ALL HE NEEDS TO KNOW TO MAKE A DECISION AND HE DID DECIDE.

Amaris doesn’t find the right words to argue with her constant companion. Still, doubt gnaws at her heart. She can’t even guess how Respin would react, seeing her. Disgust, fear, doubt, or would he be happy to see her?

Feeling like she has no other choice, she walks out of the lab and crossed the medical bay to Respin’s bed. The path seeming longer than it should be. As she arrives at the foot of the bed, she takes a deep breath and looks at him.

He looks so… spend, she thinks.

HE BATTLED TWO STRONG INFECTIONS AT THE SAME TIME, explains the Being inside her. I DID HELP HIM TO THE BEST OF MY CURRENTLY VERY LIMITED ABILITY, BUT SINCE HE MADE THE PACT I AM ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF BOTH.

How will he faire once he has fulfilled his site of the Pact?

I SEE TO IT THAT HE WILL BE AS NORMAL AS I CAN MANAGE.

„Who are you?” Respin asks tired and brings Amaris' internal conversation to a sudden end. „You seem familiar. Do we know each other?”

We do know each other, she replies directly inside his head, which causes him to flinch. Sorry. It is not my intention to startle you.

„I'm fine,” he says as if every word costs him almost too much energy to form. „It's just… I'm not used to someone speaking inside my head.”

This is not entirely true. Amaris recognises his words as an understandable lie. After all, the Being of the Void inside him must’ve already spoken with him.

„I remember now…”, he says, his eyes wide and his tired face contorting into utter surprise. „You… Amaris! You're alive! But Serfin and I… we buried you. How…”

I have made a Pact with a Being of the Void before I died, she tells him without looking at him. I never showed myself to you because I did not want you to see me like this. I am a monster.

„No, you’re not.“

Although his voice is rough and cracked due to his sickness, his words shakes her in a way that doesn’t even leave the Being inside her cold. For the first time since he’s awake, she looks at him. As Respin focuses on the marred side of her face, she feels doubt.

„I don’t care what you look like,“ he continues with the softest smile Amaris has ever seen. „No matter how you look and what is inside you, as long as you’re Amaris, I won’t be angry, afraid, or disgusted by having you around.“

This is the first time I rue that I cannot smile anymore, she replies while breathing audible out. You are too kind, Res.

„Too kind to a fault,“ he says and closes his eyes. „I’m sorry, I wish I could talk more with you now. Share what has happened since the last time we saw each other… But I’m too tired now.“

We will talk later, if you like.

With that, Amaris steps away from the bed.

YOU HAVE NOT ASKED HIM ABOUT ME, the Being of the Void, remarks somewhat mischievous.

Now is not the right time to do so. Let him rest, she replies.

To her surprise, the Being doesn’t respond. Slightly confused but feeling at the same time much lighter, Amaris returns to the lab. As she does so, Urania drags a very sleepy looking Tarrat after herself towards Respin. Amaris knows first hand about Urania’s excitability, considering rare medical conditions and medical wonders. Amused, she moves on.