Respin

Respin feels weightless and insubstantial, as if he has lost his body. Still, he distinctly feels a soft breeze brushing over him, the hard ground he rests upon with the small stone poking right into the middle of his back, his own tail half crushed under his weight, and he smells the revitalising fragrance of clean water. Where am I, he wonders, and opens his eyes to a strange starry sky, unlike anything he as ever seen before. The sky is framed by golden grass and beyond the sound of a few Cetusian animals in the distance, Respin hears the telltale rush of water.

Slow, he flexes his fingers and toes. It bewilders him that he feels no pain. What happened to me? Am I dead?

This very second, something dark pushes through the tall golden grass to his left. Startled he pulls away but realised at the same time it’s the Insectoid.

„Toddy?“, he croaks and clears his throat a few times before he continues to talk. „What are you doing here? Are the others with you?“

As soon as those words leave him, he feels stupid. The Insectoid can’t answer him. At least not in a way he can fully understand. But this doesn’t stop the small creature from reaching down to Respin and grabbing his hand. With a gentle tug, the Insectoid pulls at him.

„You want me to follow you?“, he asks, confused.

The Insectoid nods. But something seems different. Respin can’t tell how or why, but he’s certain that this Insectoid isn’t Toddy. There ought to be more of them around, he thinks, and pulls himself up surprisingly fast and painless. But this makes no sense. There are no Insectoids on Cetus. The Curriculum didn’t mention them when I was a Morphling, at least not as species with a home on Cetus. But am I even on Cetus? If not, then where am I, and how did I get here?

Slow Respin stands up and needs a moment to adjust himself. Lightheaded, he looks around and gets even more confused. By the looks of it, he’s in the middle of a giant field of golden grass with a giant lake and a set of immense mountains in the back. He remembers to have seen pictures of comparable vistas on the Curriculum, but never in this exact combination. A look behind himself reveals a thick forest of giant trees. Never before has he seen such a beautiful yet eery landscape. I’m definitely not on Cetus anymore. But what is this place? The afterlife?

At gentle tug from the Insectoid at his hand, brings him back into his present predicament. With it come unbidden thoughts of failure and shame. If Toddy’s here and has seemingly changed, then this ought to be the afterlife. I’ve got them killed, Respin thinks and starts to cry. It’s all my fault.

„You are not dead,“ says the female voice he’d heard earlier. „And you got no one killed.“

„I’m not…,“ he mumbles and clears once more his throat. „Who are you? Where are you?“

„You have already forgotten the name I told you?“, she asks bemused. „That is slightly disappointing, to be honest. As to where I am… Follow the Insectoid.“

Having no other option, Respin complies and lets Toddy guide him towards the lake. After a few feet, he notices something akin to thick black slime mixed into the otherwise crystal clear water of the lake. Slightly appalled by the display, he slows down, but Toddy continues to tug at him until he moves on.

The closer Respin gets, the more the slime looks less like tar but more like rotten flesh in combination with charred bones. Among them, Respin can see rips, leg bones and a skull with a weird crown of horns. Still, he recognises them as Menkar remains. The only thing lacking is the smell usually accompanying such an unpleasant advanced display of decay.

„At the moment I am not very pleasant to look at, but I will not harm you, Respin. I just need a few moments to pull myself together. Literally,“ the voice says, as if directly emitting from the bones.

Suddenly, the bones in front of him start to rattle. Taken aback by the display, Respin freezes and watches the whole scene with a mix of fright, slight disgust and curiosity. Bones pull themselves out of the ground and gather underneath the skull. Suddenly, they raise the skull from the ground while fitting into place. Once the skeleton is assembled, the tar-like substance from the ground creeps up the legs and coalesces into flesh as well as skin and a very rudimentary long tunic made from red and black fabric.

Soon a full-grown female Menkar stands before him. But as much as she looks like one of his species, not everything looks as it should. Firstly, there is her pure white skin, a trait no Menkar possesses. Then there are her double horns with the largest pair grown together forming a half-circle, and the long black hair flowing like smoke behind her. She also lacks gills and has a strange red pattern on her body resembling highly stylised open and closed eyes connected vie red lines. And although she lacks fins on her arms and fingers, she has a black one on the tip of her tail with another red eye on it.

„I hope I did not startle you much,” she says and takes a step forward.

In itself a rather elegant movement, but her weight-bearing foot gives in with a wet splash, and she lands face first on the ground.

„Do you, umm… Do you need assistance?”, Respin asks reluctant as he isn‘t willed to touch her.

„Would be nice,” she mumbles and turns on her back to examine her broken and deformed foot. „Damn it. All this time and I still cannot form stable metatarsals…”

Reluctant, Respin walks over to her and stretches his hand out. With a sigh, she takes it. Halfway up her hand, suddenly disintegrates into black sludge, running warm and less than pleasant down his palm and fingers. At the same time she falls with a surprising normal sounding yelp back down. Despite the circumstances, Respin can barely keep himself from gaging.

„Sorry,” she apologises chuckling and looks at her hand as it reforms bone by bone, sinew by sinew. „It has been a long time since I could take a physical form. I am a bit out of shape, so to speak.“

„You're Vanum, aren't you?” he asks. „I think I remember now, you talked to me.“

„The one and only!”, she replies almost too happy. „I guess in this universe, yes, I am the one and only. Considering the whole multiverse? No. It could not be further from it… What am I doing? We know each other barley, and I am already rambling on. Why not sit down and talk a little?”

It takes all the mental strength Respin can muster to do so, and not to run away. Still, he keeps his distance to her. Despite the black stuff, she is made of, not harming him, he has the feeling that he shouldn’t push his luck.

—

For a seemingly long time, nothing happens. All Vanum does is looking at the empty sky as if she could see something up there he could not. Best I don't ask, he muses. I already know more than I should.

„What do you want from me?” he asks her miserable.

„Company. As waiting is easier with others to talk to,” she replies and looks at him with her strange black and red eyes.

Suddenly, there is a shuffle in the foliage close by. Startled, Respin jumps to his feet. A second later, the Insectoid reappears. He carries plenty of different fruit in a small bag fashioned from his rags and brings them to Respin and Vanum.

„Toddy?”, Respin asks confused as the small alien creature gives him one of the ripe looking yellow fruits he carries.

„He is not of the talkative kind,” Vanum remarks. „At least considering your species range of hearing. Moreover, he is not Toddy anymore.”

„What do you mean by that?“, Respin asks reluctant, and looks up from the fruit in his hands.

„The Insectoid was the last of its kind,“ she explains without looking away from the sky. „It served me as warden for Selene and as vessel for my partner or rather Bondmate, as your kind would call it. Since it has fulfilled its duty to me, I allowed it a single wish, and it wished to be released from this existence to be with united with its kin.“

„But he’s still here,“ Respin replies confused while edging away from the Insectoid, who seems to look over the lake — the compound eyes don’t make it easy to discern that.

„The body is, but the conciseness within is different,“ Vanum replies and takes a larger orange fruit from the Insectoid. „Now, why are you not eating your fruit? It will not harm you, besides you must be hungry.“

„Where is this places exactly?”, he asks, since he feels it would be better not to think about any of the implications of what she just told him. „Is this some sort of afterlife? Am I dead?“

„This is the Dreamworld of your home planet,“ she explains and takes a bite from her fruit. „And you are not dead, just comatose.“

„Comatose?“

„Your body currently rests on a bed in the Medical Bay of the Cometgracer, a Flare belonging to the Desertwalkers, you know better as Cult of the Pale God. Your wounds are grievous, but nothing I cannot heal, even in this sorry state I am currently in.”

„What’s wrong with me?“, he asks, although he doesn’t really want to know.

„You have two major infections. One from the gunshot wound in your shoulder, the other from the case of Living Rot you suffer from thanks to Slicer’s fists.“

„I’ve Living Rot? Then I’m doomed! Nobody has ever survived it!“

„Well, you will be the first, due to having a part of me inside you.“

„I have a part of you inside me?!”, he asks shocked, gets lightheaded.

„Do you still remember how you found Selene?”, Vanum asks and looks at him — much to his dismay.

„She was pinned to a tree by a sword,“ he answers reluctant and picks his fruit back up to have something else to look at. „I pulled it out and a moment later it vanished.“

„It did not vanish,“ she explains casual as if this is a daily occurrence for her. „It merged with you. This is how I was able to talk to you and warn you about Selene. Lucky for you, it has the least of my conscious awareness attached to it, so she did not notice you have it.”

Respin needs time to let all of this sink. This ought to be some fever dream, he thinks, and looks at the yellow fruit in his hands. Nothing of this is real, except maybe the comatose part. I remember reading that when one dies, the mind plays tricks and causes hallucinations. I must be dying then. Oh, Serfin… I’m so sorry.

„Stop drowning in despair,“ Vanum says and looks at him, her gaze penetrating his mind — at least Respin thinks so. „I told you, I will heal you, it will just take a while.“

„Is there a way to fasten this process?“, he asks while not wanting the answer.

„There is,“ she replies and looks back at the sky. „Make a pact with me.“

„A pact?“

Respin has only heard rumours about this kind of thing. Menkar giving themselves over to the Beings of the Void in exchange for certain powers. They are said to lose something in return or become salves to those creatures. Respin doesn’t want that. He also doesn’t know how to proceed from here.

„Are you even a Being of the Void?“, he asks her instead of telling her his concerns.

„The Beings of the Void are parts of me,“ she explains with a chuckle. „Telling the whole story now is too much. The only important thing is your answer to this question: Will you accept a pact with me?“

„What do you gain?“, Respin asks, frowning.

„An asset,“ Vanum answers and looks again at him.

„I prefer not to become your slave.“

„You are not becoming a slave. All you need to do is help me achieve my goal, since I am currently unable to do much. In return, I will not only heal you faster but gift you certain special abilities, which might help you save your friends.“

„I need to think about this,“ Respin replies after a moment of silence.

„Good call,“ Vanum says and eats the last bit of her fruit, while reaching for another. „While you do so, do not mind me taking your feet as measurements for my own.“

Uncertain, Respin decides that he doesn’t want to further any of the topics just mentioned until he needs to, and bites down into the fruit. To his surprise, it tastes sweet and fresh. It tastes so good in comparison to the usual scientifically fabricated food Menkar eat that it forces tears into his eyes.