Respin

The landing is rough, much to Respin’s dismay. The constant yet arrhythmic rumble of the life-ship passing the various atmospheric layers of Cetus is pure torture for him as he feels even the most minute movement as scalding pain in his shoulder. It also doesn’t help that a dull pain has settled into his bruised stomach area. It’s just the bruises, he tells himself. By the Void, why can’t I just pass out again.

Despite the circumstances, Respin looks over at Selene, who has a slightly amused smile plastered on her face. She even seems to enjoy this nightmare, judging by the fact she has her eyes closed as well. Feeling left alone, Respin closes his eyes again and tries to think of Serfin and the others. They’re also on a life-ship. Perhaps they’re entering the atmosphere right now as well. From what I learned during training about evacuations they ought to be close by. At least I hope so.

A sudden shift in the life-ship, bumps Respin‘s right shoulder against the wall he hangs on. Pain explodes and blanks his vision with blinding light. A second before he blacks out due to it, he imagines seeing a blurry figure right in front of him.

—

Respin wakes up with a groan. Confused about his whereabouts, he sits up and looks around. He’s still inside the life-ship but judging by the darkness within and the almost absolute silence they’ve landed. Nauseous and feverish, he forces himself onto his feet and shuffles out of the ship, using its walls as support. On his way he almost falls over a huge bag.

Outside, as far as the eye can see, he’s greeted by an ocean of reddish sand and rocks of the same colour with white lines going through them. The sky is of a dark purple colour with stars shining in between thin clouds and the moon high up in the sky.

As Respin looks up a wave of dizziness washes over him and forces him on his knees. Panting as if he just ran a mile, he hears something Land before him on the ground. Slow, he forces himself to look up.

„You’re awake!“, says Selene as if he just woke up from a short nap. „You look… not so good.“

„Water?“, Respin croaks and rests his head against the doorframe of the Life ship.

„Back in the ship,“ she replies cheerful and pushes past him.

After a few moments she’s back and hands him a water bottle. Due to his numb fingers Respin has some problems opening it but in the end he gets it open and splashes his gills before drinking the rest. His stomach doesn’t like being filled and revolts for a few torturous moments before settling.

„Here, I also got you some fresh clothes,“ says Selene and throws a Gunblazer uniform towards him. „I’ll give you a few moments but before long we need to go. Your planets sun isn’t a very pleasant one.“

Without waiting for a reply, she climbs back on the ship. Feeling alone, Respin pulls himself out of his torn and dirty turtleneck and pants and dresses in the uniform. His shoulder and general condition make this another many minutes long torture session.

The moment Respin got himself dressed to the best of his abilities he leans back against the doorframe. Something's wrong with me, he thinks with half lidded eyes. It’s an infection. Has to be. By the Void…

I’ll help you.

Respin pauses. He isn’t sure if he heard the voice or not. It’s the fever. Just the fever.

The pain dulls suddenly. Surprised, Respin touches his shoulder to be met yet again with scalding pain.

„Are you ready?“, asks Selene suddenly right in front of him.

Respin flinches and immediately regrets it, but the pain isn’t as bad as it was just mere moments before.

„You look like you’ve seen a ghost,“ she continues with a smile.

„I feel just a little down,“ he replies. I don’t know why, but I think I shouldn’t tell her that I feel suddenly better.

„No wonder, you got shot after all. But you can walk, can’t you?“

„I can try.“

„That’s enough for me. I’ve put some rations into a bag beside the door. You can put some of those into your bracelets, so we don’t have to carry the stuff.“

Respin nods and forces himself up again. Much, much easier than the first time. At the same time an odd thought nestles in his head as looks at his companion. She somehow reminds me of the guy who tricked me and got me almost killed when I was a Morphling, he thinks confused about it and the fact he feels immensely better. But for now, he has to work with her, no matter if his distrust is justified or not.

—

„Done?” Selene asks carefree as Respin leaves the crashed life-ship.

„Yeah“ he croaks.

At the same time another bout of dizziness early forces him back onto his knees. This time he manages to catch himself at the last possible moment.

„You’re alright?“, she asks a bit too happy for Respin’s ears.

„Just felt dizzy for a moment.“

„Then lets go!“ she replies and already moves ahead.

„Wait!“, Respin calls after her but instead of stopping she just slowed down.

With great effort, he manages to catch up to her. But keeping up with her proves to be an entirely different challenge. Her walking speed as fast and determined as if she knows where to go despite them being in the middle of nowhere. Despite the sudden recovery, Respin still feels like Slicer has beaten him up just moments ago despite the difference of three to four days. He knows this is not right. He knows that it has something to do with his stomach.

By the Void, I hope it’s not Living Rot, he contemplates while his mind slowly, but steady shifts back into a haze. No. It can’t be. Having Living Rot is a death sentence. Especially after three days. It’s something different. Has to be. Please.

—

For an arbitrary amount of time his whole world just consists of dust, heat, and walking. Every step is torture. Every breath heavy labour.

Soon Respin falls back. Yet, he keeps his eyes locked on Selene's back. She is the only point around him to give him a sense of direction. Without her, he is certain he would walk in a giant circle. Yet, she seems so distant. Much more distant than inside the tank on the Starblazer.

Respin has many questions he wants to ask her. Why does the Empress want her? How does she even know about her? Why are you helping me?

She isn‘t.

He stops and starres at nothing. The voice… It is the same as in the fever dream and the same one that talked to him before he suddenly recovered a bit.

Without warning, Selene stops in her track and turns around.

„Something the matter?”, she asks and breaks through his haze.

„Nothing,“ he replies and coughs a few times while walking up to her.

„Alright then,” she responds with an encouraging smile. „And try to keep up. I want to reach my friend as soon as possible.”

„Sorry,“ he mumbles and has to run after her since she has not waited for a reply. „Can I ask you a question?“

„Fire away.“

„Where are we going to exactly?“

„Somewhere safe.“

„Safe? In a desert? We… we should stay by the life-ship and wait for help.“

„Out of the question. An enemy is heading to the life-ship. We can’t stay.

„How do you know they’re enemies?“

„Stop asking questions and try to keep up. You’re getting slower again.“

For a few moments Respin yields to her demand and stays silent. I need a pause, he thinks with clenched teeth. The mere act of walking becomes a heavy burden. Up. Down. One. Two, he counts his steps to keep his mind focused, but he gets slower and slower.

Soon he trails again after Selene. The distance between them increasing with every step. Although the sun must have set about two or even three hours ago, the ground and the stones to either side still emit searing heat. Sweat covers his whole face and body. His breath gets laboured. His heart racing as if he is running the whole time.

Being in a tank would be nice, he thinks, while his mind clouds with fog and some of the pain in his shoulder and stomach return. Fresh cool water. Clean. Sleeping. No pain. No worries.

He starts to drag his feet, swaying dangerously.

My heart… It beats so fast it hurts. More pain… Why does it always have to be more pain?

There is a movement beside him. With teary eyes, he looks towards it.

„Serfin?“, he asks, his voice raspy and dry.

The featureless shadow beside him looks at him, although it is difficult to tell. Respin imagines seeing the likeliness of Serfin.

„Fancy seeing you here,“ Respin continues and smiles. „Hard times, right?“

The shadow keeps on walking. But Respin feels that it worries about him.

„Don't you worry… I’m happy to see you. Where are the others?“

No answer.

„They're dead, aren't they? You’re dead too, right? That’s why you can’t speak. But don’t worry. Soon I’m coming to you and the others. Just need to wait… Be patient. Are you patient? You were never patient except with me…“

Turning towards the shadow, Respin’s vision blurs with tears rounding down his cheeks. He cannot smile anymore. His whole face hurts.

„I never wanted all of this to happen. I… I’m so sorry, Fin. So sorry. I left you all behind. You. Topasa. Nethra. Even Toddy. I… don’t want to do this anymore. I want to go back. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry. Please… Please just say something. Anything!“

Something hard presses against his tear streaked cheek. Dust coves his face and makes him blink and cry more. Pale rosy feet covered in red dust appeared before his blurred vision. A moment later knees covered by black pants fall down in front of them.

„Seriously? No. I haven't allowed you to die, buddy.“ Selene says and places her cold hands on his burning skin.

The tone of her voice less than pleasant.