Respin

Am I… dead?

There is darkness all around.

No light.

No sound.

No smell.

But there is pain.

Dull and throbbing, mimicking the rhythm of a beating heart. His beating heart. I must… get out… he thinks and tries to move. An unseen force tries to keep him down. The more he struggles the stronger it gets.

DON’T GIVE UP

The voice is nothing but an echo at the edge of his perception. Respin wants to call out to it but fails. His throat and gills are sore. His lungs can barely keep him alive. The pain flares up.

YOU NEED TO STAY ALIVE

Again this voice. Still just an echo, yet soothing. Respin feels something warm, soft and dry touching him. Whenever he feels those hands the pain gets weaker yet the feeling of something being wrong remains.

YOU ARE NEEDED

For what?, he wants to ask, but there is no reply. Has he even asked or just imagined it? Where is this place of darkness and echoes? I must be dead, he concludes. Does being dead… Does it really feel this way?

RESPIN, YOUR F-

This time the voice is a sigh and fades before finishing the sentence. Suddenly Respin feels like he is falling. Slow at first but soon faster. Faster and faster he descends. A scream builds up in his throat, but he can’t let it out. It clogs his throat and starts to suffocate him as images fly past him.

First nothing more than colourful smears the images soon turn into faces. The first clear one shows Serfin. The expression on his face is one of complete despair. A contortion of pain and sorrow. His faces melts into Topasa’s. Her face is frozen into a jarring expression of fear. Without her self-confident grin, she looks lost and broken. Her face doesn’t linger either and turns into Nethra’s with an expression of utter defeat spread across it. It makes her appear vulnerable despite her tough looks.

Respin falls faster again. The images start to move not only past but within him. As if he is watching a jumbled movie, lacking a cohesive plot.

First, the Insectoid appears giving Respin two thumbs up for something he doesn’t remember. Less than a second later the round face of Lappor appears before him. In slow-motion Respin watches the scientist’s face turn from confusion into panic as the handle of the knife descends upon him. Then there is grey blood everywhere. It is on the ground, on the ceiling, and on the walls. It rains down like a waterfall and fills the non-room Respin is in. He tries to move. He tries to get away. All in vain.

The blood washes over him. Drowns him. A heartbeat later he stands before a giant wall. On this wall are the names of his friends, scribbled along their mangled body, which are nailed to it. He wants to scream. He needs to scream. But he cannot.

Suddenly, the wall is broken by a giant fist aimed at him. He cannot move. It hits him. Over and over and over and over.

It doesn’t stop.

It won’t end.

It is Slicer’s fist. Punch after punch he smashes Respin mercilessly into the ground. All accompanied by his demeaning screams.

„Stop! Please!“, the hornless Menkar whines, his voice less than a mere rasping breath.

„You're a weakling!”, Slicer snarls. „A disgrace to all around you!”

„Please…”, he whimpers.

The beating stops.

„I’ve enough with you!“, Slicer shouts and points a giant gun at his head.

The shot blinds Respin as he gets pulled down into the ground, which is no more. Swimming again in grey blood in all kinds of different shades, he gets pulled into the deep. His mouth and nose filled with the bitter liquid as he finally screams.

Thousands of tentacles covered in crimson eyes warp themselves around him. They get a hold of his arms and legs. They wrap themselves around his belly, chest, and throat. They cover him up until he is blinded and gagged.

Suddenly, a bright blue light erupts around him. The tentacles burn away, and calmness surrounds him. He is whole and without pain. Curious he opens his eyes and is face to face with the pale creature, which is a hundred times taller than him. Her pinkish-white face and the gently coiling white hair reflect the dim surrounding light pleasantly. She has her eyes closed, and her face shows an expression of calm peace. Respin is too mesmerised by this display to really hear the whisper directed at him.

Slowly the creature opens her white-lashed eyes. They are as red as her blood and look at him fondly. Wordless her peaceful expression turns into the loveliest of smiles as she regards him with a strange form of love he doesn’t really understand. Confused by the strangeness of this seemingly familiar emotion, Respin hesitates. It feels like something too good to be real. It feels fake. The pleasantness it tries to convey is tainted.

Suddenly, the pale creature frowns. The light flickers and turns out. Her face contorts into a grimace of anger. This anger washes over Respin. Hits him like a solid wall despite it being directed mainly against something or someone else besides him.

DO NOT TRUST HER

The strange voice from before… This time it shouts and shatters everything around him.

—

Respin wakes up with a scream scraping across his throat and coming out as a choked hiss. In the same moment, he jolts up into a sitting position and lets out a weak groan of pain. His shoulder throbs with the same painful speed as his heart.

Instinctive he presses his left hand against the bandaged wound to push the pain away, but it only gets worse. Grinding his teeth, he sags against the wall next to him. The cold of it pleasant against his seething hot, sweat-covered forehead. After a few moments he tries to sort his mind but retaining even the smallest coherent thought costs him so much energy and concentration that he decides to let things go for the moment.

Slow his eyes focus on his surroundings. The first things he notices are the pillow and the blanket — both white and waffling of a sterile smell — someone has warped him in. The second thing he notices is the narrowness and unfamiliarity of the room he is in. The walls, as well as the ceiling and the ground, are of a warm white, unpleasant to his burning eyes and throbbing head. Something about this reminds him of the Medical-Unit of the Starblazer but those working there wouldn’t let him rest barely alive on the floor. There also remains the fact that traitors wouldn’t end up there but in the garbage disposal. I should be dead, he thinks and closes his eyes again while the memories of his last moments in the Starblazer flood his mind.

Again Respin forces himself to concentrate. Although it takes him longer then he wanted his heartbeat slows down from rapid-fire to a fast pounding. Too fast still, but there is nothing more he could do about it. At the same time he notices a dull pain in his stomach. Worried but attributing it to his gunshot wound, he takes a few pained breaths and opens his eyes again.

Slow in order to not move his injured arm too much he pushes the blanket back and tries to stand up. Using the wall for support he manages to get on his feet. But his feet and legs feel numb and his world seems to twist and turn in different directions simultaneously. As he stumbles forward while leaning against the wall, he notices a bundle of blankets and a few pillows covering something on the ground. A bit away from the bundle is a waste bag with long strains of silvery-white hair in it.

Noticing a blinking light Respin turns his attention to its source and looks at a giant screen which also functions as a window to the outside but is currently closed. It displays the following lines:

Beginning with Analysis…

100% complete...

Bioscan shows two (2) People on board…

Calculating Rations…

Rations will last three (3) Circles…

Calculating Duration of Travel to Cetus…

Duration of travel approximately two (2) hours...

Do you wish to initialise an emergency signal?

-YES-

-NO-

Emergency signal canceled

System switches to autopilot...

To apply changes, please touch the window

He frowns and stares at those blinking words for a few moments until his foggy mind has worked out their implications. I’m on a life-ship, he concludes, How did I get on it?

Something tugs at his mind. A small yet essential thought or memory. Something… No, someone has saved him. The smell of salt-water and the touch of warm hands flicker through his mind.

Absentmindedly he slowly turns around and looks at the bundle of blankets and pillows. That very moment something moves underneath it and makes Respin jump.

Sharp pain shots through his body.

Once the pain has subsided again, he looks back at the bundle and sees a pinkish arm dangling from it. There are also a few wisps of white hair poking out.

Suddenly, a jolt of pain crosses Respin’s head. Grinding his teeth, he leans his head again against the cold panel-wall and fights the urge to lift his right hand to his head. The images of his fever dream explode in his head and make him nearly fall to his knees.

For a moment he thinks his heart has stopped beating but it continues its futile race inside his chest. Nauseous, lightheaded and filled with an undisclosed fear he forces himself up. A moment later one of his knives falls accidentally out of his right hyperspace-bracelet.

Frowning he stares at it for a minute.

Although ambidextrous he favours his right hand to write and fight, but due to his wound, he uses his left and picks the knife up. Never before has he felt so awkward with a knife in this hand. Still, he holds it ready and limps towards the pale creature while using the wall to keep his balance.

He stops right beside her and looks down. She seems to sleep. Her eyes are closed, and her face shows no peculiar expression.

Respin hesitates.

Why? Why have I the urge to kill her? She has saved my life. I should thank her and not put a knife through her chest. Is something or someone playing with me?

Suddenly, she moves and opens her crimson eyes. Respin jumps backward and let's out a throttled scream. With a low thud, he hits the wall behind him and slides down against it. The moment he hits the ground one of the panels bursts open and showers him with instant-food bags.

„You should be more careful…“