Rayne

“Can you forgive me?” Her father strode forward, still staying several feet away from her. “Please. I can’t handle being shunned by my own daughter anymore.”

“I handled being shunned by you for 23 years. You get used to it.”

“We have educated ourselves.” Rayne’s mother spoke for the first time. “We hired Kai and Yoshimi back. We learned from them. And we’ve been working with a few organizations which aim to help the LGBT community.”

“If that is true, I am glad you changed. I am glad you are helping those people.” Rayne retorted, with her arms crossed. “But don’t expect me to forget a life of scorn. Yes, because you were not just a shitty father after I came out, you never showed me love before either. It was always ‘In three weeks Joshua has a golf tournament, let's clean our schedules ahead! Oh, the other one has an art exhibit? Oh, well, the company’s more important. Sorry, we cannot go’.”

She spoke with a fake English accent. The parents looked visibly hurt by her words, or maybe due to the memories of the way they used to be. Then, her mother started walking towards her:

“I’m sorry for what we put you through, I’m sorry for the pain we caused you.” She took a deep breath. “But I must say, I’m glad you kept going, despite not having our support at the time… I hope you found it in other people. I’m thankful that every day you get up and out of bed, you put your clothes on and face the world, despite knowing that there are people out there who think like your dad used to think…”

Rayne let out a chuckle:

“It’s funny. Because the only thing that kept me from ending it all was the need to prove you wrong. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to, one day, tell you ‘See, I lived a good, normal life, even if you think I’m a living sin or whatever’.”

Rayne was looking at her father, who had a twitching smile at the corner of his lips.

“I am glad you changed. I can’t say that I forgive you for now… Maybe one day. Perhaps I will start by accepting your calls…”

“That’s good to hear.” Her mother smiled. “But it reminds me. I should say, the money you’ve been receiving isn't our doing. When I called you about Joshua, you said every time you got the money, it reminded you of us… But it’s Joshua who sends it.”

Her gaze shifted to her brother, who was still sitting down:

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Rayne frowned, yet he shrugged:

“It was kind of weird.”

Initially, it looked like he wasn’t going to elaborate, but after a pause, he added.

“It started when he first kicked you out. I… Took the money out of his account and sent it to you. Then, when he changed his ways, I told them, and they wanted me to continue. It’s like an allowance.”

He shrugged again, looking exhausted. Rayne wondered if it was the draining family dispute or his medication. She cocked her head in thought, then blinked.

“Okay. You go get some rest, and I’m getting on my way to the airport.”

They hugged and said their goodbyes. Later, she gave a nod to the parents who smiled politely and she left.

In the airplane, Rayne realized something: the only person she wanted to talk to about the madness she had just lived was Alliyah. A few seats in front of her were a couple of women. She observed as they held hands, kissed, and cuddled. And she thought of how she wished Alliyah was there because that should be them too.

The last time they were on a plane, she left not knowing how Alliyah felt about her. She had said too much, and Alliyah had said too little. But this time, she hadn’t said enough. Why didn’t she tell her… She deserved to know. Her stomach filled with regret and furious wasps, as she ran her fingers through her hair.

No, no, no. What have I done…?