《H(e)aven》Rude, Uncultured, Dirtbag

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Rayne

The scent of fresh coffee invaded Alliyah’s house in the morning. Although it was Rayne who made it - she needed her caffeine and her girlfriend could not be trusted with such an important task.

“Good luck. You’re going to do great. They’re going to love you.”

She stood knotting Alliyah’s tie, who had her hands around her waist.

“I’m so not in the mood for an interview.” She moaned. “I just wanna stay home and play video-games with you.”

Rayne felt her stomach flutter and almost smiled, but kept a strict face:

“You go and charm them, and then we play video-games. Got it?”

Alliyah nodded, her face nuzzling Rayne’s neck while she lazily hugged her.

“You should have some coffee before going.”

“This is your fault for keeping me up last night.”

Rayne bit her lip, trying to contain her smile while remembering the magnificent previous night.

“Go get that job, and maybe I’ll give you an even better night tonight.”

She saw Alliyah lick her lips before kissing her.

Both women left the house and outside went separate ways.

Rayne was having breakfast with Colson and Ocean, who were both hungover. Ocean was still wearing his “costume” but with a leather jacket that looked a tad too tight on him. Rayne had a knowing tiny smile on her face but didn’t comment, although she thought to herself that she needed to bring it up when she was alone with him.

“Gentlemen, I need advice.” She spoke, looking at her phone.

“Can’t it wait a couple of days?” She could see Colson’s eyes were closed, even though he was wearing sunglasses inside the diner.

“I might have delayed it a little more than I should have.”

“What’s wrong?” Ocean frowned.

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“There’s an old lady who wants to sell me her penthouse for a relatively low price-”

“Oh, yeah, sounds terrible.” Colson mumbled.

“I am not done. Be quiet and listen.” She snapped back.

He raised his arms and motioned for her to continue.

“The thing is… It is so close to Alliyah. This may sound odd, but I am already afraid that we’re moving too fast, living so close to her… It feels kinda frightening.”

The boys looked at each other, this time Ocean spoke:

“If there’s something that I know about Alliyah is that she will give you all the space you need. Just talk to her. She’s very communicative and will appreciate you opening up about your feelings.” His words were slow and premeditated.

“I'm trying, but I am so afraid of fucking up.” Rayne ran a hand through her hair. “What if I hurt her? I can’t just say ‘I’m afraid you’ll show up unannounced’ or something. Ugh, I’m so stupid.”

“I think you’re just ruining your own relationship on purpose.” Was Colson’s blunt reply. “You’re seeing problems where they don’t exist. You’re worrying about things that may never happen.”

“Yes, it's called anxiety.”

“So, you’re aware it’s just in your head?” He slurred.

She now had both her hands tangled in her long black hair:

“It’s more complicated than that.”

“You either want that big house and perfect girlfriend, or you don’t.”

Rayne got up and left a few bills on the table to pay for everyone’s breakfast:

“God, Ocean, you can do so much better than a rude, uncultured... dirtbag!”

She grumbled as she walked away. Deeply upset at the lack of emotional support, yet despising herself for her lack of proper insults.

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“Don’t listen to him. Listen to me.” Ocean had followed her outside. “I know you… Well, sort of. But I do know Alliyah. You two are oddly a perfect match. Try not to stress about things that may never come. And if it turns out living close will be weird, talk to her. Say you need your personal space and time, but that doesn’t mean you love her any less.”

Rayne’s stomach almost came out through her mouth.

How did everyone know she loved her before she even declared it out loud?

She was anxiously fidgeting with the 3 rings on her right hand, walking a quick pace towards her house.

“Alliyah always has everyone’s feelings into consideration.”

He insisted, but she interrupted him.

“Fine, fine fine!” Rayne thundered but instantly became self-aware that she was in the middle of the crowded Manhattan and took a deep breath. “I get it - she’s perfect! I’ve been aware of that for a few months now.”

“That’s not-” Ocean chimed but Rayne kept talking.

“I’m the one who’s fucked up even though she’s been through so much! I’m worried about me ruining things, not her. Of course, she has me in consideration. And of course, she won't invade my space if I just ask her not to. It’s me who’s not good with people, definitely not good enough for her, and who’s going to hurt her and make her leave. Because that’s how it always goes!”

Her phone rang, and she looked at the screen. After debating for a split second, she accepted the call:

“Stop calling me!”

“You picked up…”

“To tell you to stop. Every time I see your call, or text, or fucking dirty money I’m reminded of everything you’ve told me. Just stop!”

The line went silent for several seconds, then the voice spoke again:

“…Your brother is in the hospital.”

She hanged up and looked at Ocean:

“I have to go.”

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