Alliyah

“Hello, Ms. Pierce.”

“I don’t have much time, Alliyah, I have a meeting in ten minutes.” The attorney spoke in a cold, professional tone, over the phone.

“I just wanted to let you know that your entire house design is fully ready. I can email it to you, and we can meet in person to discuss it.”

“Are you sure? Last time we spoke, you seemed nervous about it, yet now you’re saying it is ready… Two days before the deadline?”

She wasn't sure if Cliona Pierce was teasing her or feared for the design.

“I started following my heart and… I couldn’t be more proud of the result, Cleo.”

There was an awkward silence on the line for a couple of seconds.

“Cliona.” She corrected her.

“I’m… Sorry, MS. Pierce. Your name reminds me of an old friend’s.”

The women set a meeting for the following day.

Alliyah immediately called Ocean to set a celebratory dinner at her place right on that evening.

“I finally finished one of the most important projects in my career so far. This calls for a buffet at my place, poker night, and non-alcoholic drinks because I will want Lamar around.”

“Aw, man. I love Lamar, but he needs to start drinking too.”

“I will stab you in your uncultured throat with a pencil if you ever even think that again.”

“So,” A scared Ocean changed the subject. “I’ll talk with Rayne?”

“And your guy, Colson. I haven’t seen him in a while.”

“I wouldn’t call him my guy… But I’ll give him a call.”

She merrily cooked all afternoon for more people than those who attended.

“How awfully disappointing is it that only five out of the seven people I invited were able to make it?”

“Alliyah you invited people on the day.” Ocean pointed out.

“Yes, you’re supposed to clear your schedule whenever I invite you to something. That’s the law.”

Rayne sat alone on Alliyah’s couch, with headphones on and Rusty, the cat, on her lap, despite her legs being crossed. Lamar was still in his bedroom, working on his own comic book. Malcolm was on the balcony with Blue trying to convince him to let him drive his white mustang.

“Technically, Lamar lives here, so you didn’t even invite him.” Ocean teased Alliyah as he sat on the countertop, banging his head on the cabinet above.

Instead of responding, Alliyah hit him with a wooden spoon, before shifting her attention back to stirring veggies and garlic.

“Are you cooking something vegetarian? Z is not even showing up.”

“No, just shrimp and veggie noodles.”

“No meat?” Ocean frowned.

“Stop being such a… Bloke, like Blue would say. You’re spending too much time with your buddy. I already made mini hamburgers and mini chicken skewers.”

He didn’t reply, therefore Alliyah asked:

“Why isn’t he coming, anyway?”

“He- Well, you know him… He doesn’t…” Ocean was talking even slower than usual, and tripping over his own words.

“Spit it out!”

“He didn’t want to come…!”

“Oh… Well, that’s okay.”

She continued to cook the main dish of the gathering in silence, and in the end, put the tray in the oven. The delicious scent filled the air, making everyone long for dinner time.

Roughly half an hour later, Alliyah knocked on Lamar’s bedroom door:

“Dinner’s ready, Little.”

“I’m not hungry. I’ll eat later.”

Something is wrong.

“Can I come in?”

“…Yes.”

She found Lamar hunched over a large canvas on the floor. The cropped top he was wearing had gone from white to a rainbow of colors.

“What’s up, Little?”

“Just painting.” He aggressively splattered red paint over the canvas.

“I didn’t know you painted abstract.”

“I… Was trying to paint Beyonce… But it sucked so I… Did this.” He vaguely gestured towards the canvas, which was covered in many different colors and odd shapes. The attempt to portrait Beyonce had been remarkably well covered.

“Oh, hey, look. Listen. You’re nine. It’s not abnormal to not be able to paint a specific face, given your experience.”

“How old were you when you first painted one?”

“I only started drawing things when I was like 13, buddy. Later, I started drawing faces at 17! And it took time to learn how to do it as well as I do now.”

“Oh.” Lamar mixed a golden yellow with a bluish-purple on the canvas.

“You have so many years ahead of you to discover what you like, to find your passions, your talents, and develop your skills. And for the record, I really like this one, I’m gonna be hanging it on the wall if you don’t mind.”

He dropped the paintbrush and gave Alliyah a hug:

“Thank you.”

Alliyah smiled, hugging him back:

“Come on, let’s go eat.”

“I’m starving!”

Yeah, that's the Lamar I know.

Throughout dinner, everyone - except Rayne - complimented Alliyah’s delicious cooking. Ocean complimented her mini burgers and skewers instead of the main course.

“Get ready to lose, suckers!” Lamar made everyone laugh, even Rayne sketched on a smile, as they prepared the living room for the poker games.

“Do you know how to play, sis?” Malcolm asked, turning to Rayne.

“I do.”

“Woah, I only asked one question! Why such a detailed answer, bro?!” He joked.

“I answered your question. What did you expect? A soap opera about how, when, and where I learned?”

“Maybe so.”

“Okay. It was a rainy Sunday in Kyoto. My parents were away on a business trip. My brother and I were bored. We found their set of poker, our parents often played with their rich friends, and we taught ourselves how to play it, with the help of the internet.”

“You have a brother?”

“You’re Chinese?”

“You’re rich?”

“And that’s why I don’t talk.” Rayne rolled her eyes and grabbed her jacket.

“Wait, wait.” Alliyah jumped. “Y’all know Rayne likes her privacy, why would you ask all that?!”

“They have the right to ask, I have the right to not answer.”

“Yes, you do. But can you stay and play, still? …I know you wanna kick Malcolm’s ass.” Alliyah smirked.

“Yeah, we’re sorry!” Blue pouted his full lips.

“Sorry, Rayne.” Ocean and Lamar joined him.

Rayne narrowed her eyes but sat down:

“Fine.”

“Why does everyone like the goth girl so much? Now I’m gonna get my ass kicked.” Malcolm crossed his arms.

“You never win anyway.” Lamar chuckled.

They were both right - Rayne, Alliyah, and Blue won the first five hands.

“Alliyah?” Ocean, who was dealing that round inquired.

She looked down at her cards:

“I fold. Also going to catch some fresh air. Have fun, let Malcolm win a hand, maybe.” She winked.

She liked the rooftop. The way it was always cold, the view over the city that never slept. That night she could even hear someone playing the saxophone in the distance.

“Do you ever think about jumping?” Alliyah asked Blue, who had joined her sitting on the ledge.

“Nah.” Blue adjusted his pink beanie. ”You do?”

Alliyah looked down at the lovely city, lit up by cab headlights and the apartment lights of the people who - like them - were still awake.

“I used to. Before Lamar came into my life. Now I… Fear death.”

“You’re just living for Lamar? What about us, your job… Yourself?”

“I guess now I see all those things; but when I moved here, I wasn’t in that great of a place. I’m glad Ocean stuck around…” She trailed off, the memories too fresh. They'd probably never leave her.

Blue sat closer to her and rested his head on her shoulder.

“He would never leave. He’s told me what you’ve done for him, back in San Francisco.”

“He paid his debt when Lamar fell into my arms.” She chuckled.

After some seconds of silence, he mumbled, in a slower pace than usual:

“Do you think… There’s meaning… To life?”

“I think it’s subjective to each of us, you know? There are billions of people on earth right now. And there’s probably more living creatures throughout this universe and alternative universes.”

Blue smiled at Alliyah’s fast-paced speech. It was as if she had given that question a lot of thought before anyone even asked.

“So what’s the meaning of your life?”

“…Connections.”

“You mean, like, WiFi?”

She laughed, knowing/hoping he was joking.

“I mean the connections I make with people, animals, even hobbies and material goods. Love, friendship, empathy. I feel like some people don’t wanna be alive because they don’t feel these connections. Maybe they’re loved… But they don’t understand the way they’re loved… And other people don’t understand the right way to love them.”

“So… You didn’t feel these connections before Lamar?”

“I guess… It was like a spark ignited. I became more passionate about everything. I want to make him happy, but I can’t do that if I’m not in a good place.”

“I get being passionate, that’s great but… Maybe tune down the work passion… I don’t think it’s great for him if you just sleep like 20 minutes a day.”

Alliyah looked down in silence. She briefly chewed the inside of her cheek and sighed:

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Sure…?

“This job… It’s not what I thought it’d be.”

“What are you saying? Do you not like it anymore?”

“I’m not sure I ever did.”

Blue frowned in confusion:

“How? You literally have a bachelor’s in design. Didn’t you go to San Francisco just for it?”

“Even that was to please other people.”

“Why? Who?”

“I’m starting to get why Rayne doesn’t talk much to people.”

“Okay, I won’t ask about your past. But why don’t you get another job?”

“Like what? What can I do? Be a professional skateboarder?”

“That’s… One option.”

“I’m good at this job, and it pays well.”

“Yet you’re miserable.”

“Don’t be so dramatic. I just wonder ‘what if?’, you know? What if… I had been a chef, or a musician, or a hairdresser.”

“Then go find out!”

Alliyah let out a frustrated groan:

“Not everyone has your safety net, Blue.”

The boy looked at her for a few seconds before speaking:

“You do.” He briefly paused. “I can give or borrow you some money.”

“No… no. No! No, no, no.” Alliyah shook her head. “This is what I do. It’s what I’m known for. ‘Alliyah, the interior designer’. We’re literally celebrating one of my best and most profitable designs yet.”

“Great! Except you escaped to the rooftop. Why?”

Alliyah opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

“Because you did something great, yet you’re not fulfilled.”

“I shouldn’t have told you anything!” Alliyah got up and walked away.

The following day, she and Z walked in the direction of a restaurant, holding their skateboards in their hands. Alliyah’s shoulders slumped as she looked down at her black sneakers - something unusual for the girl who always held her head high.

“You okay?” Z asked, looking back at Alliyah, who also walked slower than usual.

She was absent-minded, and took a few seconds to reply:

“ …Uh, yeah. Just thinking about stuff.”

Z narrowed her eyes:

“Is something going on between you and Blue?”

“What, like, romantic?” She raised her eyebrows.

“I don’t know. Is there?”

“He’s cute, but I don’t knock on the same door twice.” She shrugged.

“I heard you two spent time alone at the party, and that when you came back you were weird… Now you’re weird. Again.”

Alliyah held the restaurant door for Z as she replied:

“It’s not like that, though.”

“Then what is it like?” Z walked to the most secluded table at the left corner of the restaurant.

“Why are you such a nosy little human?”

“I’m just curious, pup.”

“I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

Z shrugged and raised her hands:

“Okay.”

Alliyah’s eyes wandered to the window, and she froze. She was now frantically looking out the window.

“What?” Z furrowed her brows.

Alliyah then sat back in her chair, touching the scar on her head:

“I thought I… Saw someone.”

“Probably sleep deprivation hallucinations.” Z chuckled.

Alliyah rolled her eyes:

“I’m going to the bathroom, please order for me if the waiter comes… To our table.”

“Okay, have the time of your life in there.”

Alliyah casually made her way to the room at the other end of the restaurant.

When finally inside, she leaned against the red tiles of the restroom and tried taking a few deep breaths, as flashes of her past life went through her mind once again, and she felt them in her heart, which was pounding in her chest.

She reached behind herself and felt the tiles, the cracks between them, their coldness.

She forced herself out of the wall’s safety and moved to the sink, then splashed water on herself, feeling each drop slide down her face. The girl fixed her hair, feeling its thin texture, and finally her denim jacket, feeling its rough material against her fingertips.

Alliyah looked at herself in the mirror and whispered:

“Get it together.”

The moment when a pretty girl walked in, she pretended she wasn’t just talking to herself.

Then made her way back to her table, and asked her friend, while sitting down:

“Have you ordered?”

“Yup!” Z fixed her glasses - probably subconsciously.

Alliyah couldn’t stop her eyes as they drifted back to the window, looking for the face she thought she saw before.

“Who did you think you saw earlier, anyway?”

“Someone…” Her jaw tensed. “From Detroit.”

“Oh, well, what are the chances it’s really them? You probably saw someone who looked alike.”

“Well, I’m here. Lamar’s here.”

“Fair enough.”

Soon, a waiter brought their orders, and they ate and chatted for roughly an hour.