I feel groggy when I wake up, it’s still dark.

I blink away the water from my eyes but my vision doesn’t settle.

A ringing started in my ears, a blinding pitch at first settling to a song I knew but couldn’t place. Coming in and out of focus like a camera on the wrong setting.

I saw the moon overhead, its image distorted and torn apart like cotton. The light it shone splitting and dragging across the sky.

I realized my feet were wet. Suspended in the pool that refracted the night sky, my shadow waved at me and then started to tear apart like pieces of ash. Floating into the breeze. My imprint on the world dissipating.

NO! I kept screaming until my throat felt raw. I jumped into the water clawing for myself, for the pieces of me.

I was sinking, the water sucking me into its depths. The ledge I was sitting on, no longer in sight.

“HELP ME JAKE!” I heard Liz scream cutting through the fog and the daze. I’ve lost myself, I can’t lose her too. What if she’s with Roy again?!

“JAKE!”

“I’M COMING LIZ” I tried to swim, mouthfuls of water strangling me.

“I’M COMI-”

~

I jerked upwards as I awoke gasping for breath. The phantom fluid still in my lungs and mouth. My sheets twisted around my body, drenched in sweat.

“fuck” it was just a dream thank god.

“Are you sure it was just a dream?” a voice of liquid honey whispers from the darkness. My window only partially open next to my bed keeps the shadows, hiding the speaker.

“w..who are you?” In the light, I saw smoke curling in the air from a cigarette. The stub in the speaker's mouth burning a hellish crimson as they inhaled and held the ashen fog inside their chest.

Exhale.

“who am I? The dream to pair with your nightmare handsome” Herndrickson stepped out from the shadow, his graphic T-shirt hugging his body and his button-down agape fluttering in a breeze that only touched him. He flicked his cigarette to the ground and placed his foot on top, the sizzle the only sound as we stared at each other. My gaze encapsulated within his and I can’t move as he steps closer and closer.

He reaches my bedside and leans down, his breath on my ear as he whispers:

“hmmm lie down, you look so stressed in that position. Why be uncomfortable when I can think of numerous positions for us that would be much, much better” my breath hitches in my throat and I can’t help my body from easing back into the bed.

“that’s more like it” he kneels on the floor beside my thighs. Crossing his arms over on the bed he brushes against the outside of my leg and I feel a delicious burning. As he rests his chin on his forearms.

“you know you did the best you could right? You saved her that night.” he pulls his gaze from the moon peeking through my window to mine. I can feel the tears welling. Why did he have to ruin the mood, make me think about when all I wanted to do was forget. Pretend it never happened.

And yet I couldn’t help the words that flowed from my mouth.

“I shouldn’t have let anything happen in the first place, I shouldn’t have left her alo-”

“you need to stop that, your friend would’ve been in a much worse situation without you. You did the best you could and I am sure that she will never feel anything but grateful to you” I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling the tears roll down the side of my face, I knew it was true.

But it didn’t stop the little voice inside me.

The pain, the self-hate, the knowledge that if that kid hadn’t been there. That perfect stranger... that I wouldn’t have gotten to her in time or even have known.

“I didn’t save her, that kid did, a kid whose name I don’t even know nor can I thank because I don’t even know where the fuck he is!”

“sh sh shhhh hey, it's okay” I felt a warm brushing away the tears on my cheek, a hand embracing mine. I opened my eyes to Herndrickson’s, they were filled with care and concern.

“you know, a part of me doesn’t want to wake up... I want to stay here with you.” my voice was small and pathetic yet… hopeful.

“Keep dreaming of me and I never have to go away.” he held a small smile on his lips, a sadness in his eyes that I knew was only my projection. It was what I wanted to see and feel and god I want it to be true. I want him to worry about me, love me, be there! Hell be here! Right now!

I wanted him to stop the little voices in more than the nighttime where our time was only held by my shut eyes. I wanted to wake up with him there, be my daytime life not what would eventually become a haunting dream that I could never let go of.

“yeah... I guess that’s all I can hope for really” I give him a half-smile and look away. His thumb creating small circles on my skin stop. What I wouldn’t give for it to be real.

“a thought just occurred to me though” I don’t even have to look at him to know a smirk is forming on those lips. I just sigh knowing that it’s not real and will never be. Just as real as the titanic dream! Just as likely to happen! For fucks sake, why couldn’t I like a guy who was into me!

“hmm?” I respond absentmindedly. Silence is all that greets me, feeling slightly frustrated I give him what he wants as ask:

“What’s that thoug- argh!” suddenly Herndrickson is straddling me, his crotch rubbing lightly against mine. Fuck that feels real, I blow the air out of my mouth, my eyes wide with shock no doubt.

“wh...what’s that.. uh… thought you had?” I hated how high my voice just sounded and I couldn’t help stuttering as he looked down on me with a mischievous gleam in his eye. A hunger creeping in. I knew that look.

“well, you see if this is all a dream, why not at least enjoy it to its fullest noe?” he winked at me and flashed his teeth before roughly gripping my hands and pulling them over my head.

“Ah fuck” I gasped, as he tied my hands to my bedposts.

“don’t move until I tell you too handsome” his husky voice sounded at my neck, the heat creating goosebumps and I arched my back slightly unable to stop myself. God if he was like this in a dream I cannot imagine real life.

After tying the knots his hands trailed down my arms as he brushed light kisses on my neck.

“hmm” my breathing was getting heavier and I started biting my lip trying to control the moans. His hands moved to my chest brushing my nipples lightly before tracing along my stomach and my hips. He started sucking on my neck in my favourite spot, mmm fuck. I could feel myself getting harder and harder, his crotch still rubbing gently against mine, building more and more friction. My arousal un-hidden in my silk boxers.

“mmm Herndrickson” he pulled away from my neck ever so slightly upon hearing his name. Kissing the spot lightly with his lips parted he moved up to my ear and murmured;

“call me Harley, Jack” before he bit my ear lobe, the pain eased away into pleasure as he gently sucked it. His hands were wandering and his fingers pulled at the edge of my harry potter themed boxers. God, I wanted him to put his hands in. I tugged my arms trying to show him what I wanted but couldn’t. It made it all the more excruciating and delicious. My frustration and need to be touched, to release building as he lifted himself and place his hands on me. Rubbing my erection through my boxers.

“thas...that's no- ahhh… f...faair” he smirked as he watched my expression and struggle against something I didn’t even want to stop.

“mmm maybe next time we should use a gag… keep that pretty mouth of yours quiet.” he winked and my core grew even hotter than before.

“Also this isn’t fair either but I have a feeling you’re going to love it” just as I was about to reply he ducked his head and placed his mouth around my length, over my boxers. I couldn’t help the moan that came out after the first jerk reaction gasp of pleasure.

How haven’t I woken up yet? I always wake up before thi—hmmm, fuck… I always wake up before this part

My train of thought gets lost as his tongue curls and strokes the back of my head, where the bundle of nerves sat. Eliciting a massive moan as the pleasure rolled through my body. He pulled away licking his lips and looking into my eyes as he grabbed the waistband of boxers and slowly pulled them down, over my hardness.

Leaving them resting around my ankles he took me in, looking at me all breathless and vulnerable as my wrists were still tied and I was now naked. His look of hunger intensifying every second. Slowly while remaining eye contact he slid off his button-down and pulled his shirt off over his head by the collar. God, I loved it when guys did that.

This was the first time I got to take him in and holy fuck was he build like a Greek sculpture. His whole upper body was toned and imagined the other half wouldn’t disappoint. His abs were chiseled and his skin without a flaw, god! How the fuck do I compare with that?!

I couldn’t think anymore as he lowered himself down again, licking from the base to the head, I couldn’t help the arching of my back and neck.

“did you want to take this a little further?” he asked me, his lips still touching me, my erection throbbing.

“mmm fuck yes” I watched as he started to unbuckle his belt, taking it out from the loops of his jeans far too slowly in my opinion. He just sat there watching me kneeling on the end of my bed as he popped the button on his jeans and started to unzip. I gulped as I realized he wasn’t wearing underwear. His bulge is prominent in his jeans. He got off the bed to start pulling them off. I wonder how big he was. My breathing was getting heavier and heavier. I felt my lip swelling from the biting and gnawing I had admonished it with. Almost there…