Roy never came back to school. The court case held against him was in Liz’s favor and it went the best way possible it could’ve gone. He didn’t have a brain injury which I thought was the least he deserved and I plead in the name of defense. When Liz came back to school people whispered and busybodies came up to both of us asking what happened and wanting to know every sordid detail. To avoid everyone we found different secluded places to hide and eat lunch and recess. It took almost a month for life to settle into normal again.

I never saw that kid again either. He became an afterthought, though he popped up every so often. I told Liz about him and she wanted to find him, but no one seemed to know who he was.

On the upside Herndrickson was at school more often, even though he made me nervous, my heart beat faster for a different reason than fear. My thoughts escaped the endless replay of that night's events. He felt normal to me.

~

“pssssst, Jack, pencil?” my favourite moment to come out of literature was this one. I had taken to putting a proper HB pencil behind my ear, with a clean rubber. The pencil he used that first time sits on my bedside table… plus he deserved a better one for the kinds of drawing and sketching he was doing, right? I made sure it was sharpened before each class...I couldn’t resist glancing at him to get a glimpse of his mesmerising eyes and felt flush.

“sooo?” huh? Fuck. Right! He wanted his pencil. Was I just staring at him? God, he must think I’m weirdddd. I mean he’s not wrong but still. I shook my head slightly to clear my mind of him. However, in doing so I heard something drop.

“shit” I muttered as I reached down to grab it I saw a hand, his hand get there before me. Brushing against mine and sending electricity down my arm leaving me tingling. I looked up from my bending position and he’s already watching me with his trademark smirk. His eyes darker than usual, stare into mine, my mouth frozen slightly agape. His lips are so close and I feel his heated breath on my face. It smells like peppermint and a sweet ash. Drawing in shakey breaths I watch as he further opens his mouth and licks his top lip, knowing I’m watching. He winks.

“Jake!? Is everything alright?” suddenly Mr Lee’s voice crashes in and startled I jerk upwards, sitting straight-backed and looking at Mr Lee with wide eyes.

“uh… y.. yes sir, sorry I um... dropped something” he raises his brow at me and then shrugs turning back towards the board. In my peripherals I see Herndrickson slowly returning to his sitting position, his eyes never leaving me. Why does he keep doing that?!

“Alright, just make sure you stay focused please” I glance to Herndrickson who is now sketching away and sigh, my body relaxing.

“yes, sir” just give him the goddamned pencil next time fuck.

-

He drew me.

That is what I decided to get stuck on.

The larger silhouette has his face turned to the smaller figure, outlining his profile. My profile. The hair is jet black like mine and the white shirt stands out clearly. He was watching me that night. Does he like me? no. no no no. It couldn’t happen he’s straight, straight as a football pole. Also, he’s still dating that Anna chick… I think….I mean I haven’t seen them together recently but fuck man life happens and he’s a fucking ghost at school half the time. Maybe he likes me?! No, no Jake you can’t go there. He is a dick to his girlfriends why would you be any different? So what? He looked at you and noticed you for the first time in forever, it means Jack! I mean shit. Goddamnit!

Getting home from school and trying to study was next to impossible. Which was very inconvenient as I had a SAC soon and my ATAR depended upon my good grades as well as the exams. Such a fucking joke.

My point is Herndrickson was making my life increasingly difficult with his whole being.

You see I want to go to a really good University, my dream since a little kid has been going to V.C.A. Victorian college of the Arts. The course I want to get into only takes around 10 people a year so it is nerve-wracking and my parents believe in me!

Which is fantastic!... But!... Sometimes it feels like the walls are crashing in on me and then their expectations are the roof squashing me to the floor. On top of that Herndrickson is becoming a distraction and a block aid to my dream.

Rubbing my eyes and yawning I tried to focus on my textbook. The words blurring together in a way that not even my glasses could help me see them. Yes, I have reading glasses to fit with the geek image, but I only have to wear them when I’m tired or studying for long periods of time.

God, I cannot focus. Standing I go to my mirror and look at myself. My glasses are the hipster black squared ones and I hate to admit but they actually look decent on my face. I need to shave I realise as I rub my cheek, a stubble forming across my face baggy light grey knit sweater hangs from my shoulders, my hands peeking out the bottom. I’m wearing my jeans and shoes still from when I got home. Ugh, I need to change.

Since it’s summer I’ve been sleeping in my boxers whenever I go to bed. Pulling my shirt over my head, having forgotten I’m wearing glasses I feel them start to fall and move to catch them. Tripping over my own feet I feel myself lose balance and crash onto the ground, back first leaving me winded. My vision filled with the knit pattern of my sweater I sigh and lean my head back onto the floor. I’m a mess these days.