Luz sighed as she sat on the windowsill in her room. Of course she’d ran. There was probably never a better time to go for this but instead she was a coward. Again. She was so tired of being so scared of Amity but she couldn’t help herself back there. It was just all too much for her. Sure, she wasn’t against having attention put on her but that didn’t mean she was some diva. Well, she thought as she remembered her first days at the Isles, usually.

But nope. She couldn’t just be a little more dramatic and taken the leap so here she was, alone in her closet again. No warm girlfriend to curl up with or tears to try and make the hurt go away. Nope, just the same questions that she couldn’t get rid of anymore. Could Cluz have maybe not taken all of her little voices? It would make it so easier to just push these thoughts behind her like she used to then.

“Amity.”

Oh great. Now her brain was just going to say her name randomly? That’s exactly what she needed. Would she need to start screaming again to get it to go away? Kind of worked when that stupid blossom made her mind not be able to shut up. Eda and Lilith had seemed to be right about it not being anything too big though. Otherwise maybe this all would have come to a head earlier.

“Amity.”

Ugh. Could it at least be nice enough not to sound like she was talking to herself. Stay inside brain. Or was she just going even crazier than she already was. Sure felt like it. Or, she wished it did. Then she could blame insanity for why she’d ditched Amity back there.

“Amity.”

Luz pressed her knuckles to her forehead this time. It sounded almost exactly like her. Maybe a little off or muddled, but still like her and like it was coming right outside her window. But she’d need to have a clone or something for that to happen.

Wait a second.

“Amity.”

Luz threw open her window before she looked down. However, she didn’t see any trace of Cluz. She still heard the same voice saying Amity’s name though. Except, this time, there was a second one that sounded a lot fainter, but also towards the tree line. How was that possible? Luz frowned for a second before slipping her cat hoodie over her tuxedo for comfort and heading out. She wasn’t going to be able to get any rest after all so long as something kept making her think of Amity.

But she didn’t see a trace of who might be saying it, which only got weirder the longer she was out of the house. After all, it first sounded like it was coming directly from the tree line once she was outside. Then she swore she heard it twice at the same time from deeper in the forest. It went on like that for almost ten minutes as she only heard Amity’s name more and more the deeper she got in.

At least, until she got to the lights. Small motes of energy that looked exactly like her light spell. It started with a single one that almost appeared to be what was saying Amity’s name before it came from somewhere else. That direction only held more of the spell’s luminous bulbs and… And it made her thoughts so much worse. After all, her just saying Amity’s name was one thing. Her magic being involved with it was different. It made her think of what the two could do. It was no longer just thinking about Amity. It was thinking about them. About how the lights felt like something Luz should have done to lead her somewhere like this weird copycat of hers was.

She slowed down at that point. The exhaustion of the night hit her like a ton of bricks as she trudged through the forest and couldn’t get her head to stop thinking about the missed opportunities. Not just when she could have confessed but everything they could have done together if they’d gotten together. If Amity had invited her specifically to Grom and the two began dating then. What would her life look like then? How close would she be with her crush then? Or would they be apart because she was wrong and Amity didn’t like her.

Luz was so caught up in her thoughts that she almost didn’t notice when she got to a small clearing. How bright it was though made it almost impossible for the lights to not break the moping girl’s train of thought. She covered her eyes for a second before looking up.

And then catching her breath. The small lights were everywhere in the clearing. On the leaves, between the trees, and even outlining a path straight to the middle. And, at the end of that path, was a table. It wasn’t set or the like and was surprisingly plain but it felt like a masterpiece with what it held. That included a small, purple thing that held its mouth open to a small, glass bauble that held a small blossom in it, a letter with another, almost identical glass trinket on it, a mote of light that had just formed and, of course, that which was holding the spell.

Amity.

The tiny abomination stroked the glass sphere and Luz heard her crush’s name from all angles. It almost stopped her heart to hear before blinking a few times. That was what it had said? That was all it had said? How? Sure, she couldn’t get the girl off of her mind that night but…

But it didn’t matter. Not as she looked up and met Amity’s eyes. The serious girl could only keep contact for a few seconds though before her red eyes glanced away. She’d been crying. Of course she’d been crying, Luz. You abandoned her. The fact that she was here was a miracle. She didn’t even know why her crush was here for that matter. Wasn’t Amity just as hurt as she was? In fact, wasn’t she in even more pain?

Luz only briefly got out of her brain when Amity took one of her trembling hands and pressed two fingers on the letter on the table. She then slid it towards her idiot, all while she still couldn’t look at Luz. For once though, nothing more was needed. Luz merely stepped forward and picked up the extra glass sphere while opening the card.

I know if I try to say any of this first I’ll just screw it up and say that tonight is just me trying to salvage coming out in this dumb dress. I’ll just make some sort of excuse or, even worse, say nothing. Have another panic attack before running away. So I’m not leaving it up to that.

You are the most incredible person I’ve met. You’ve changed my life in ways that I couldn’t imagine. Made me look at my world in ways that I thought weren’t possible. Made me look at my future and wonder if it matters at all. If I would throw it away for something as dumb as you. As beautifully dumb as an otter with a dark side.

So I decided to give you a message that I hope means as much to you as what I got that night on the cliffside. An assurance that I really do care for you as much as I hope you want to. But I recognize I could be wrong so if you don’t feel the same way, just put the sphere down and walk away so we can pretend tonight never happened. You know what it says already after all. At least, I hope you do.

Luz blinked only once she got to the end of the letter. That was all the time her brain needed for the choice. A choice that, now that it was put so plainly in front of her, now that she didn’t need to say anything, seemed so easy. So she pressed the sphere into her ear, as it was too large for her ears, and slid a finger across its surface.

“I love you, Luz.”

Luz swallowed hard as her eyes began to water and her throat began to close up. She actually said it. Or thought it so much she could make something like this. Part of her thought that that meant so much more. It wasn’t just a fleeting idea in Amity’s head. It was constant. Possibly just as constant as it was in Luz’s when the voices couldn’t make her just forget how amazing the serious girl was.

Luz shut her eyes for a second before looking at Amity. The serious girl looked up but was silent. She could at least meet her crush’s eyes now though and the two simply stared at each other. Luz then slowly sat on the table with Amity, reached over to cup her crush’s cheek and then brought her close.

No. Not her crush. Now she kissed her girlfriend. She could taste salt as Amity and her parted for a second, but whose tears it was she didn’t know. Not when she felt like some sort of baby with how much she was sobbing. It only made it all the more impossible to let Amity go though. She needed her to be there. Needed this to be real. Needed to know just how dumb her rule was about the other girl. That this was actually happening.

Amity didn’t go anywhere though. Neither even bothered to say anything throughout the night. They instead stayed right there, sitting side by side as they shared no words but kept kissing the other over and over again. They didn’t need to say anything after all. Not when it was always trying to voice this feeling that kept getting in the way before now.

Besides, they both knew what the other felt and what more could they need than that?