“You’ve lost your parents and that’s left you worried about losing more. But you can’t live your life never taking risks. Your sister and Daimyon are wild optimists and your humility does well to balance them. I worry however that it’s at your own risk. If you can’t take a leap of faith then you’ll never truly love or fight. You’ll always stay the same as others surpass you because they're willing to give themselves to their desires.”

~ Grandpa Matthews

Chase

The sun has been shining in my face for at least an hour. It’s always like this, those two sleep like logs while I wait for them to wake up. Normally I’d read, but in this case,it’s just an old habit I’m not going to fall back into. Willing my body up from my bed, I put my shoes on and head out of the cottage. It’s a short stroll to the nearby lake and my purpose is clear: Training beginning with push ups.

Scanning for a soft patch of grass just bigger than myself is easy. Making my selection, my body drops to the ground forming the position.

“One, two, three, four, five...”

Kouki left campus not too long ago but I’ve made good progress in that time and not just on the front of my physique.

“Thirty...”

Flowing into the beginning of my workout, my mind calms and the task at hand becomes the only focus. Tranquility surges from within my spirit, synchronizing with my body, making everything easier.

“800, 801, 805, 815…”

This is maybe twenty percent of what I felt that first time and way better than what I could consciously do before: a pathetic five percent.

“999, 1000…”

Fifteen minutes on push ups, and now onto squats. My hair takes its place back in front of my face. The peace of the still water, the light breeze pushing the trees, and the soft sunlight that’s spilling through the leaves gets to me and my mind wanders from the task at hand. Thinking back to how Pip greeted us and how she still seems to hate me and love Daimyon. I don’t want to admit it but I’m holding just a tinge of resentment. My heart beats harder and faster as these intrusive thoughts take hold.

“One, two, three, four…”

If only she could just get that it’s my job to keep her safe. Yeah, sometimes I stop her from doing things but only dangerous things. Not that she listens to me most of the time and usually with Daimyon acting as her partner in crime.

“Ten, eleven, twelve…”

Which isn’t surprising since he’s as bad as she is. He literally almost got us all killed by someone way above him trying to protect some random girl on his first day! Neither one of them ever considers consequences and that leaves me as the responsible one. It’s hard to blame Pip but Daimyon has no excuse. My jaw tightens as repressed anger bubbles up from each thought.

“Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-five.”

The worst part is how the world seems to reward their recklessness. My arcana didn’t unlock until I hit 16 and is completely unimpressive. A whole year in the academy and I’ve barely made any progress. Meanwhile Pip’s arcana just manifests itself at half my age and it’s far stronger than Daimyon’s or mine. Grandpa didn’t mention it but my sight was able to tell that the tiara she was wearing was suppressing it significantly. Then, of course Daimyon’s protecting of Kiyonna gave him a mentor in Bones and her undying loyalty. He’s only been in the academy for a few weeks and already surpassed me getting concepts in practice that I’ve had memorized for months. I’m tired of watching Daimyon’s back!

“Thirty seven, thirty eight, thirty ni-”

My legs wobble then collapse. I’m tired but I shouldn’t be and my mistake is easy to figure out. My distracted thinking knocked me out of harmonization. It’s bad enough Daimyon is favored everywhere I go and now, he’s in my head getting in my way. I can’t allow myself to be thrown off since luck and talent aren’t on my side. Hard work is the only thing I can lean on and I’m going to use it as best as I can.

Forcing myself up, I meditate for a moment clearing my head. My mind goes blank and my harmonization returns, until something crosses my mind. When Pip becomes older, she’ll understand. Daimyon may be ahead of me right now, but I'll win in the end. My brain won’t let this go. I wish this feeling would go away. This gnawing feeling of inadequacy that makes it hard to breathe, that makes me hide my face away, that leaves me stunned, only able to support the brave instead of being brave. These thoughts make way to something else...anger. In this moment my arcana reacts, stirring the air as my muscles flex and I scream something I shouldn’t.

“I wish I could beat Daimyon!” A voice above responds to my outburst

“Is that how you really feel?”

Mortified that my outburst was heard, my body spins towards the source of the voice. A familiar shadow looms over me as I compose myself. It’s Daimyon sitting on a branch high above me with the light at his back. The angle obstructs his face making it impossible to read.

~End