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1 day before reincarnation

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Lucan always imagined a fantastic world in his mind before going to sleep, it helped to escape the days problems and to avoid focusing on all the mistakes, of course, his brain wanted to visualice all the embarrassing moments for the past ten years, but if he could escape inside his imagination with commitment, most of the times, he was asleep in minutes.

And today, for once, his brother Marcus hadn't been ordered to come get him, in fact, no one had bothered to wake him up at all, which was a novelty, so Lucan took his time to get out of bed, quietly leave his room without seeing a single soul, bathe and get dressed.

The first person to meet him was his little sister Marian who was, as always, running barefooted towards him like a maniac with half of her hair preventing her from using her already bad sight and realizing that she was going to bump into him.

Trying to take the opportunity for a good natured brother-sister conflict he grabbed her by the waist by surprise and tried to forcefully tickle her and jump around as well as evading her now desperate attempts to escape, After some moments she began pleading between laughs ''Lucan!, stop! please!''

''Aaaand good morning''

''Stop!''

''Say good morning to poor old goodie brother''

''Good morning! good morning! good morning!''

''Thank you''

Releasing her from his arms she hugged him and kissed him on the cheek with a happy ''you are a goodie old brother?, then I am the bestest little sister ever'' followed by her pointing her tongue as if saying ''What are you going to do about it?'' which of coursed forced Lucan to tickle her into submission again.

After a hug Lucan said''You are the best and most awesome little sister ever, also the blindest'' to Marian who was currently putting her arms around his neck and dangling with one of her annoying smiles

''Shut up!, im not blind'' then she poked at his face ''you are always in my way, now take me to the main room pleasy pleaaaase''

As usual, the smile she gave won over any argument and Lucan started to walk without hesitation. After some steps, Marian took a more serious tone and looked at the ground.

''Dad was very mad yesterday…mom too, but dad more''

This was a normal conversation between them, whenever she wanted to vent her frustrations she talked to him, and whenever he wanted someone to talk to she somehow knew instinctively and looked for him.

''Yeah, I guess they were, just like always''

''Why did you told Diane that you didn't knew who she was?''

''Why shouldn't I?''

Marian looked at him then and pouted a little''That's not fair, she cares I know she does, it's just that…well.''

Lucan replied with sadness''It's just that she loves the purple more than anyone and you know it''and Instead of replying she changed the conversation ''What did [professor] William teached you?, you sorta jumped when mom told his name yesterday.''

Lucan remained silent until they were about to enter the main room and simply answered''It's nothing.''

''You sure?''

''I'm sure''

''….ok''

Obviously unconvinced, Marian released him and ran to her seat in the table saying ''good morning'' to everyone present in that animated way only she had, followed by a very quiet Lucan who mumbled a single greeting before plopping into his seat. Almost everyone was present with the only exception being their father, Leonel Graves.

The conversations dancing around were polite and a little quiet given that everyone was still half asleep with the notable occurrence that no one had bothered to speak to him and Lucan had seen no reason to even look up from the eggs and bread he had for breakfast, eating slowly, he half listened to everyone's plans for the day and left without a word before his father appeared.

Today was going to be a good day…maybe, one can only hope.

Those were the thoughts on Lucan head when he left his house half an hour later from the back door avoiding the glances the people working in the household gave him. Taking his time with a slow pace, he walked towards the academy and played with his horrible scarf all the way, noting the different patterns in the stones of the roads, watching the pointy rooftops, glancing around every bridge and noting every boat travelling inside the city.

The city state of Lucis was, at least to Lucan, colorful, and if he had to describe it even more, he would always say that it was a place of movement and hierarchy. There were various clases of people inside the city, first and foremost, were the members of families that had a voice inside the council, which changed every few years as per the city tradition; then were the rest of the noble families, followed by the wealthy or lucky that could live inside the city walls. The rest of the population made the majority of the social classes, with those that lived outside the city walls but had a house or a place to call home, with the lagoon dwellers and foreigners in the bottom.

Despite the clear lines drawn to separate the citizens, it didn't stop the amount of motion inside, even for a seaport it was unique(or that is what his father used to say). The city was above a large number of islands and canals united by bridges and roads which created an assortment of canals that always had a good number of boats and other ships travelling and forced the buildings to adapt in unique forms to create both a pleasant look with it's marble plazas and churches, but also showy with every wall and piece of clothing sporting a color or insignia, as if looking for a unique beauty.

Watching the motions helped Lucan daydream while he walked everyday, and after a long walk he saw the gates of his academy open with the cold air of the morning still travelling the streets as if telling everyone to remain in bed.

It was in that moment that he had an idea, instead of entering the academy, Lucan walked to the side, and sat in a small bench in a corner somewhat hidden by large plants which allowed him to look at his surroundings but also gave him some privacy to wait alone in silence. After some time, he noticed the doors to the academy were about to close, discovering that he could enter last and avoid waiting with anyone inside for class to start.

Taking his place in the classroom, he mumbled the morning prayer in a automatic manner alongside the other [students] and watched another [professor] enter the classroom, this time, a very strict one everyone called Ayala. With a look, all the voices died and every soul inside sat straight, not daring to call the attention of this particular one.

With a coarse voice, the [professor] began the class ''As you all might know, there has been a great deal of rumors in the city that the seraphs are going to take apprentices and pages this year for training in the ways of the light, well, as it happens, this rumors are true.''

The proclamation was answered by a large number of whispers that were silenced with a harsh glare, followed by a warning in the form of a fake cough; when silence returned, the [professor] began speaking again.

''There are many ways to become a light mage, even in this school the purple students manage to learn a spell or two before joining the church or a questing order, but to learn directly from the angelicarium is a great honor, it means that a chosen student will be learning directly from those that brought the faith of the light once more to us. Which is why, today, we will begin by revising everything we know about our beliefs.''

Ayala looked at every student in their eyes as if looking for someone that dared object, when he met silence, he continued.

''Before there was time and life, before even the universe existed, there was nothing, and it was in that void that light was born, from that moment, an enormous expansion filled the cosmos with all we know. The Light exists as a boundless primal source of living energy, expanding itself through all existence. Its influence resides in every living being, in everyone's heart and soul, uniting all sentient together.''

So far, Lucan had done a passable job to not yawn in front of the whole class, some had fallen asleep already, others were paying far to much attention. Every time he had a class in a heavy topic like faith or honor and values Emma somehow heard about it and forced Lucan to remember everything and challenge it. The reason why, he had no idea, but it was fun. Even if he didn't understand anything she asked.

Without pause Ayala continued his speech with the voice of someone who has repeated the same words a thousand times. “All of you must hide yourself in the teachings of the light, so when someone who is astray wants to find you or tempt you he will have to go there first. You see, a highly developed system of light oriented values is like a compass. It serves as a guide to point both you and other in the right direction when you are lost.”

Ah. Lucan remembered the first time he heard this lesson, Emma spoke for hours with a smug smile and a certain irritating tone he loved ''afore ye call yerself ae believer in the light, the aetolian pantheon, the nahuatl, the Quin imperial mythos or any other theology; remember, adherence to ae single ideal does not give all the answers, ye should learn 'ow to be 'uman first. If ye're to truly understan any o'their teachings, then ye will need the contrast… a virtue that is given is useless, they must be performed.''…Fat chance of that in Lucis, after all, this city was a stubborn mule in their beliefs, so much so that any outside idea was seen as offensive in the noble circles.

Without missing a beat, the [professor] continued talking, giving some [students] a glare when he noticed they were asleep rather than paying attention ''Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to the serenity of the light, to the feeling of a prayer, after all, The function of prayer is not to influence the light, but rather, to change the nature of the one who prays.''

This was new, it even sounded pretty, but he chuckled a little when he imagined what the witch would say, most likely something like ''It be better tae know the worst than tae wonder. Beware whomever works 'ard tae learn something, an finds 'imself no wiser than before.''

After several hours Lucan had found himself thinking about everything except the class. reclining a little in his chair, the current thoughts on his mind were why is it that whenever he wanted to escape a classroom time moved in slow motion, but whenever he found out that he enjoyed a particular lecture, it finished in seconds.

Thinking quietly ''Perhaps what I need to do is stop following every movement the [professor] makes whilst daydreaming and do something''Lucan began to look around the classroom for something to do ''maybe scribble something in the pieces of paper, I could try drawing something''.

[Attention of the class]

Suddenly half the [students] in the classroom sat straight and looked at [professor] Ayala attentively, who was slowly waving his head in silent disappointment.

Completely awake and almost without blinking, as if hearing the lecture was the most important thing in the world, Lucan heard the other half of the classroom laughing quietly and the attentiveness he felt dissipated almost as quickly as it came. Almost at the same time, a small sound began in the board next to the door, were the names of every student was listed, caused by little beans that moved in seconds, deducting points from those that weren't paying attention.

For a split second, Ayala stared directly at Lucan, as if he knew that he was daydreaming but instead of saying anything, the [professor] simply turned around and continued speaking ''All this we know because of the lessons brought by the first servants of the light, the winged folk in the flying city of the angelicarium…has anyone here studied about the city of the hierarchies?'' After a long silence, it became obvious no one would respond, either because no one knew or because they were afraid of being mocked.

Noticing the lack of response, Ayala continued speaking in a tone every teacher used when they expected better of their students. ''Before the cataclysm that swept the world, our understanding of the light was given by visions or great sages that managed to see it, but as a premonition of the end of an era, the city of the angelicarium, fell, from the skies.''

Pausing for a moment to make sure everyone was paying attention, or at least not sleeping, he continued ''it was then that we discovered that the winged folk were bound by a set of, for the lack of a better world, classes, and apparently for reasons all good servants of the light should struggle to discover. Three set of hierarchies of winged folk came in the city of the angelicarium, which means that all their race but the highest classes were cast down and brought into our world. And that my yellow scarfs, is what's known as the fall of the three hierarchies.''

On and on the classes went, with Lucan struggling not to fall asleep until finally the time came for the students to wait for the doors to open so they could leave for the day. Slowly, every [student] in the classroom left until at lat Lucan was alone like usual, but this time, something different happened.

Purely by coincidence the head of [professor] Ayala appeared in the corner of his vision and he asked for help to take some books of his to a container behind the school. Being the only student in the classroom Lucan got up and helped without a complaint but noticed something curious in his small walk. The school was quite simple in its design, two buildings, one for classes and another for housing, a library and a chapel, with a small clearing separating them; all surrounded by a fence. But behind the one his classroom was located, there was a clearing with a shed for repairing old books and other utilities and most importantly for Lucan, a door, that led to outside the school.

''A question, if I may [professor], what's on the other side of that door?'' Lucan asked

''Hm?…oh, behind that door you will find a small path to the park that's on front of the school.''

''I see…can I use it?''

after placing the books on a table in the shed, Ayala simply waved at him as if he was a mosquito, and taking that as a yes, Lucan made his way outside the school ahead of the rest of the student body. After some minutes standing around, he looked back at the still closed gates behind him, and he couldn't help but realise that half the day had passed, and he had spoken with two persons, and one of them by accident. For the rest of the world, he had been invisible.

Sensing a weight on his shoulders, he began walking towards the only one he knew would speak see him. While he walked, he began remembering everything that happened the day before, the prohibition his father gave him, the lesson with [professor] William, the words of his sister and by the time he saw Emma he could think of only one thing.

''I need you to teach my something.''

Without warning, the sudden appearance of Lucan surprised the [witch] for a second, then she smiled and leaned in the table in front of her stand.

'''eaven and 'ell!… hello to ye too kiddo, tough day?''

Entering the stand Lucan looked at her dead in the eyes and repeated ''I need you to teach me something.''

''Ah'm perfectly fine t'anks for askin, business 'as been better than usual.''

''Why don't you want to help me?…I don't get it.''

The smile disappeared and the silence became uncomfortable, sensing something Lucan continued.

''I know, I know, you want me to find myself, but how can I do that when--''

Raising one eyebrow and crossing her arms Emma interrupted him''Why 're ya askin' this now, what 'appened.''

''It's nothing, I just…I just need you to teach me something alright'' taking his prized makeshift wand in one hand he tried again with very little confidence ''look, it doesn't have to be fancy or anything, i just need a little spell or cast or whatever to begin with and I can just…take it from there.''

After a few more moments of silence Emma narrowed her eyes and asked ''What 'appened yesterday.''

Before Lucan replied, she began speaking again, in a tone he rarely heard her use ''Ah mean it. What 'appened yesterday, did yer brother beat ya again…or did ya 'ave a fight with yer parents, what 'appened?''

''It's just a bad day, that's not what im here about Emma.''

''Ah. now I get it…it was that prim an proper [professor] o' yours wasn't it. What did 'e do?''

Suddenly the back of his knees began itching, but before he could answer Emma continued

''Oh…oh I get it, I get now, yeah, that prim an proper cunt an myself will 'ave ae conversation afore long, but kid. Seriously, do ya think I 'aven't been helping ye?''

''Have you?…you told me once that I could learn something other than than what they teach me at school, that I could be more than a yellow scarf, but here I am, with a useless wand, learning from a stolen piece of paper.''

''Tell me Lucan, what do ye want, for me tae give ye the power to be the greatest [mage] this side of Avan, Hm?

''Well, no, I just want to learn something.''

''Why do ye want to be more powerful then?, can ye answer me that?''

''I don't want to be powerful i just want to be stop feeling like this, ok?. I mean, how is that so difficult?''

''Tae learn is to be more powerful Lucan, and I can't give ye more power 'till ye. find. yerself''

''Emma, what the hell does that mean? seriously. Please?''

''Ah forget sometimes that fer all yer kindness ye are still a stupid kid, don't ye realize what ye're doing?''

The moment she said that, Lucan realized he no longer felt the weight in his chest, instead, his heart was accelerated and his voice stronger ''I haven't done anything.'' he replied indignantly.

Lifting her hands as if that was the answer she was waiting for Emma exclaimed''Exactly… ye 'ave done nothing.''then she changed her voice to a tone Lucan had never heard before ''Listen kid, I am 'elping ye, and I mean it, but ah'm not gonna rescue ye, I can't, ye'ave to do that yerself.''

That was new. ''Rescue me? from what?''

Poking him gently in the chest with a finger she forced him outside her stand and replied '' Look kid, 'ow about, ye stop looking fer Lucan Graves du Lac, the yellow and purple scarf honor student, pride o' the family an the city, beloved by all…an instead, ye look fer you.''

Standing in the front of the stand now, only one word came to mind. ''How?.''

with a sigh and a small smile, she looked at Lucan in a way that hurt him more than he would ever admit out-loud and answered ''outside the city, in the forest nearby, there is a small clearing in the lake…an old place, filled with secrets. Paths are made and unmade in places such as that, and souls are broken and reforged, kings are born from blessings given in there, and old peacekeepers are driven to betrayal all thanks to the echo that travels through a spot like that.''

Then she looked away, and Lucan realized by her tone that the conversation was ending.

''If you want to find yourself, first you must go there, yae little girl.''

''im not a girl.''

''No…what yae are is lost.''

That raised his eyebrows at least ''This is the city's main plaza, I have been here more times than you have.'' however lucan folded his arms and looked around as if to make sure he was right.

After repressing a sigh ''Then run along, i have work to do and yae shouldn't be here.'' suddenly she fixed a look that broke no arguments and in her eyes he saw pity, sadness, and the future he feared.

And so he ran.

The forest was dark and silent near the castle town, and the small scenery in front of him was undisturbed until he arrived.

"What am I doing here, I don't need them, I dont need anyone, I am lucan Graves du lac", saying after glancing at the coat of arms in his chest and just then realizing there was dirt covering all his shirt. After suppressing a sigh he tried to wipe the dirt stains but trying to clean the shirt with dirty hands didn't help, after all, no one receives a mental beating and just looks good when everything is over.

then came a whisper "Perhaps it's true that I am a bastard."

A trespasser, not an adventurer nor a guest, a common child escaping from the world he knew, a small human who had more than most and yet, was feeling empty inside.

He knelt in the shore of the clearing; the water was very still in this part, and the air was very cold and heavy, small droplets of rain were starting to fall as if to say that the child was unwelcome and unwanted in the peace of the forest, but on the other side, maybe his turmoil was the exact thing this place needed.

Hungry and alone, wounded and cold he died, but not in body, just in spirit, because there are few things that kill the soul and innocence in a young child, the cruelty of family is one of them.

It was a quiet thing, dying, not in body but worse, in spirit. It began with a small tumble and then he was broken, the soul shattered and the last cord that made him a person broke. His generosity hides, his loyalty becomes a stranger, his laughter is lost, his kindness dies, and all the while death is standing there, with a white face, silent, with patience eternal.

And everything ended.

And then, everything began.

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