《Warped》Fourteen
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The café that had Alyss had chosen was quaint, a popular little place right in the heart of downtown. It sat around the corner from the [house of lords], surrounded by skyscrapers and pristine city buildings. The [central park] was just across the street, edged by skyscrapers, but was lush and green, a beautiful distraction from the hustle and bustle of the city life. Alyss had requested a seat at their outdoor balcony, so we sat in the brisk spring air, watching the cars zoom by. Each and every one of the cars were shiny and new, their passengers just as perfectly groomed as their vehicles.
Alyss sat demurely in her wrought iron chair, across from me, her leg bouncing from excitement. She wore a high neck stylish dress that she had borrowed from Cerise; it was a golden, pale yellow, which only highlighted the golden hues in her hair. She was radiant. Seeing and appreciating her beauty only made me feel worse.
We had just finished eating and were finishing our mimosas. I barely touched mine, having had plenty of champagne lately.
“Isn’t this place wonderful?” she said, her eyes searching mine for approval.
“Um, yeah, it’s great,” I said halfheartedly.
I wondered if Mea had seen my message. Discreetly, I tried to check my WaComm, twisting my wrist so that I could see the indicator screen. I looked up to catch Alyss looking disappointed in me. I couldn’t bear to upset her, not when I’d been disappointing everyone else – including myself – in the last twenty four hours.
“I’m just turning it off,” I said, removing it from my wrist, severing the power connection to my skin. “That way, it’s just me and you.”
She grinned, showing her perfect teeth and glimmery lips. “Thank you,” she said. “So, tell me what you’re thinking,” she said, her elbows resting on the table, her hands supporting her head.
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I raised my eyebrows. “As pertains to what?”
She grinned mischievously. “I’m sure you can guess.”
I swallowed heavily. She wanted to talk about last night. Surely, to her, this was a big step in our relationship. And she wasn’t wrong, it normally would be in any other case, especially given our circumstances. “Hmm, you’re right, I can.” I cleared my throat. “I mean, what is it you want me to say?”
She faltered, then regained her composure. “I’d like to hear whatever it is you’re thinking. I still don’t… expect… anything.”
“Look Alyss, I…,” I trailed off.
I didn’t know what to tell her. What sort of thing could I say to rationalize this to her, let alone myself? Because as I looked at her, I thought of the words Cerise said to me this morning. Sacrifices, she had said. We all must make sacrifices. It was inevitable. I knew this was what she meant, that to marry Alyss was to make the sacrifice of personal choice. I knew she had been referring to her own personal experience in the matter – I knew Cerise and my father hadn’t married for love. But was it worth it? Did I have to become Prime Minister so badly? Was I willing to sacrifice what could be the key to my own personal fulfillment and happiness for power? At the moment – no. I solidified my decision. I would turn down this deal with AUT, and I would tell Mea I was hers. There was no other course that would bring me any sort of peace. It had to be done.
“I see you’re still figuring things out,” Alyss said, interrupting my thoughts. “That’s okay. We can take things slow, or pretend it never happened at all.”
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I could tell she was saying the words, and maybe she wanted to mean them, but I could see she didn’t like what she was suggesting. It said a lot for her determination though, and I admired that about her. Despite the fact that her and I could never be together again like that, I admired her. She was a strong, capable woman, with much more to her than I’d ever thought.
“You’re an amazing woman,” I said.
Her eyes sparkled.
“You’re smart, beautiful, and strong,” I continued. “Having known you has truly been an honor. But in the last day or so, I’ve realized something…” I gulped, the words becoming harder and harder to enunciate as I watched her. “I… we can’t be together. I can’t accept your father’s deal.”
Her face fell. Immediately, I felt like a monster. How could I destroy the hope of someone so pure? What sort of asshole was I? Despite the guilt, I held fast to my decision. This was the way it had to be, I reasoned.
“I… understand,” she said slowly. “You have to follow your heart.” She looked down into her lap. “Who is she?”
I blinked, surprised. How did she know? “How…?”
“Men don’t turn down women that could give them the world without a reason. It could only be her. Who is she?”
I couldn’t answer. Of course, I couldn’t say Mea’s name, nor would it matter. But apparently, the shocked look on my face was enough. She accepted my silence as a response, as it was.
“It’s alright, I suppose it’s irrelevant,” she said, her voice thick. “I should’ve known I wouldn’t be enough.” She looked up, perhaps trying her best to hold back tears.
My heart broke for her. She was much more invested in whatever she thought we had than I’d expected; I never figured her to be into me enough to be this upset.
“Come here,” I said, unable to resist offering any sort of comfort. I stood, my arms open to embrace her.
She eyed me cautiously for a moment, then stood to join me, grasping her arms around my middle as if I were a buoy, and she lost at sea. I caressed her back, my fingers tangling in her hair. We hugged like this for a moment, until I could feel her relax in my arms.
She pulled back to look up at me, the wetness in her eyes enlarging them, as if I were looking into those deep blues through a microscope.
“This might be strange,” she said, a half smile flitting across her lips. “But could I have one last kiss?”
I sighed. Her lips trembled, either from anxiety or sadness, I wasn’t sure. But I couldn’t deny her this little request, especially not after how many kisses we’d shared the night before. What was another?
I leaned in to close the distance between us, my lips touching hers softly.
At that moment, lights flashed in my face. Sudden and bright, more and more flickered and flashed, blinding us. We separated, startled and surprised.
“Fucking paparazzi,” I growled. “Let’s get out of here.”
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