The sun had risen, but the blinds remained drawn, and in the semi-darkness, I must have closed my eyes. Taken by sleep, I don’t recall what happened in the meantime, but when I woke up, I was tucked under the blankets of Cole’s bed and still naked. My body ached all over from the exertion, but in that good way, that would keep me thinking about the night before.

Swinging my legs off the edge of the mattress, I moved to get up. That was we I spotted my clothes had been folded and left on the floor just shy of where I planted my feet.

Trying not to put too much thought behind my current circumstances, I got dressed and hoped I would be able to sneak out unnoticed. I wanted to avoid any awkward ‘morning after’ interactions, considering I had still got to do the walk of shame back to my flat. The problem was how was I going to sneak past Cole when I didn’t know where Cole was? At least, I had not woken up entangled in the sheets with him! - That might have been a little too familiar.

Initiating my exit, I reached for the door handle. Before I had the chance to turn it I heard voices on the other side and froze. At first, I thought it must have been the TV in the lounge, but then I recognised one of the voices as Cole’s. After a moment of careful listening, I established that the other belonged to an unknown female. I wasn’t usually the nosey type, but found myself listening in on their conversation. It was a little alarming that there was another woman there at all. My first mortifying thought was that my one-night stand had a girlfriend, or worse, a wife! Fuck, had I just slept with an adulterer?

“Nick, you’ve seen the news. Don’t you think it’s about time you took your circumstances seriously?”

“I think your over-reacting. There’s no need to panic yet, Vicky.”

“Look, I’m only looking out for our son. I know you haven’t had the opportunity to be a normal father to him, but we would both rather still have you in our lives ‘til the end than lose you.”

“Alright, I see your point, but say I do as you want me to, where would I go? Where is supposedly safer than keeping up the pretence here and carrying on living as I have been for the last five years?” I heard Cole rebut, but it was now apparent that that wasn’t his name at all; he had lied. He was also the father of the woman’s child! The realisation that he was not obliged to tell me anything about himself or tell me the truth about what he did tell me hit me hard. I felt stupid and my want to get out of there as quickly as possible grew more urgent.

On the one hand, I did not want to make a scene by bursting out of his bedroom and into their conversation, making myself known and making what we had done the night before glaringly obvious, but I also did not want to loiter there waiting for ‘Vicky’ to leave.

What I heard through the door next left me wondering if fate was on my side - my mobile phone started ringing, from the pocket of my jacket, which must have still been in the entryway.

“You have someone here, don’t you?” I heard the woman ask.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll leave you in peace then, but please just think about what I’m asking. I’m only thinking of you.”

“You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“I'll always love you and worry about you even if you have altered yourself beyond recognition. I’ll keep in touch and call before I drop by next time.”

The closing sound the front door made echoed through the apartment and I heard it from where I sat, on the edge of his bed. I had decided to wait it out, but when Cole, or Nick, or whatever his name was, seemed to go quiet, I got up to make my exit. With my hand firmly grasped onto the door handle it was pulled farther away from me when Cole opened it from the other side. I looked up to find him peering down at me with an apprehensive expression on his face. I tried my utmost not to ogle him, but I noticed that he was only wearing grey jogging bottoms and my stomach fluttered. Pull yourself together Ana, he's a dirty liar... A crazy hot dirty liar.

“Ah, you’re awake.” He said, his expression instantly changed into a friendly smile.

“Yeah, I’ve got to go. I have a lecture at two,” I explained quickly, plucking my excuse out of thin air, although it was not a lie.

“Well, you’ve missed that then. It’s already half three.” He held out my mobile for me. I took it and checked he was telling the truth. He was, it was three thirty-seven.

“I overslept that much?”

“I didn’t want to wake you when we’d been up all night.”

“That’s… thoughtful, but now I have to explain to Benjamin why I missed class.” I presented my phone screen to show that I had had, six unread texts and fourteen missed calls.

“Is he your boyfriend?” He asked without flinching.

“You’re kidding, you're asking if I have a boyfriend now? Even though I spent the night here?” I asked, only to hold up my palm to whoever this stranger really was. “In fact, I don’t need to answer that because it’s none of your business. I don’t owe you any explanations, just like you don’t owe me any.”

“I’m not judging you; it would just make sense why you seemed so nervous, that’s all.” He shrugged.

“For your information, I was nervous because one-night stands are not usually my thing, okay?”

“Fair enough, that makes sense too. You’re uh- quite a lot pluckier in the daylight, huh?” He smirked at me, and I huffed. It was true that I was feeling a little defensive. Even if I was a hypocrite because I had found out the snippet of information that made me so irritable through the dishonest act of eavesdropping. It seemed such a pointless thing to lie about; I was annoyed to have discovered that he had given me a false name more than anything.

“I’ll take that as a compliment, but I really need to get going.”

He didn’t stop me from leaving. He saw me out and held open my jacket for me while I shrugged it on. I bolted out of there without so much as a farewell. I didn’t do so well in my flustered state, remembering my way out of the building and got lost a couple of times before I finally found an exit.

“Thank fuck for that. At last, the drought is over!” Lindsay cried, raising her hands as if she were reaching to the heavens in praise. I had just told she and Theresa the vague version of where I had spent my previous evening.

“I’m relieved for you too. I bet she thought she had been sewn shut,” Theresa said with an amount of grace that made the vulgar nature of her statement seem less shocking. I swatter her arm and chuckled.

“So… How was it?” Lindsay probed impatiently.

“Hey, I haven’t asked you about how your night with ‘hot guy’ went.”

“Psh, he wasn’t so hot after all, and his name’s Marc. So, you were about to tell me about the blessed gentleman that ended your dry spell…”

“Ugh, fine.” I rolled my eyes; she was going to pump me until I spilt the tea, and seeing as they would probably never going to put a face to the fake name he gave me, I told them. “His name’s Cole, and he brought a flood, not just a drop of rain.” I winked.

“Ooo, naughty, was he good? Did you get his number? Are you going to see him again?” Lindsay was all but jumping up and down on my bed as the three of us sat there gossiping.

“Yes, no, and I’m not sure.”

“He was good, and you’re not sure if you’re going to see him again? Are you bonkers?”

“Oh, he wasn’t just good; he was probably the best I’ve ever had, but yeah... I don’t know if I’ll see him again; it was a one-off, y’know?”

“You had a one-night-stand?” Theresa interjected in disbelief.

“I think so.”

“What if he’s at the Omen again, and you ‘bump into him’?” Lindsay air quoted.

“I- I don’t think I’ll see him there again.” I lied. Of course, I would. Because he was a fucking bartender!

“Oh, boo hoo!”

The topic of my night of passion passed eventually, much to my relief, and we spent the rest of the day concentrating on our studies as we had arranged to, but by six o’clock, Lindsay was whining about wanting to go out. Benjamin saved me from bumping into my two named tryst two nights in a row. He texted Theresa to say that he could get the three of us last minute tickets to see his boyfriends’ band at a local bar. We had arranged to attend a friend’s recital weeks in advance for that Saturday. I never went out Sunday night, and so just like that, my weekend squared away without any awkward encounters.

Another hard week of student life passed, and I felt no desire to go out that weekend and made my excuses to Lindsay and Theresa without feeling guilty because I was suffering from a bad cold.

By the following Thursday, I had missed three lectures and spent four days cooped up in bed. I had plenty of studying to catch up on. So, I spent Thursday and Friday hunkered down with my laptop, cramming in all the work I had missed - Benjamin had kindly compiled it and sent it over to me via email.

Saturday came and I was beat and treated myself to a well-deserved break. I indulged in some retail therapy and a fancy coffee in town before heading over to Lindsay and Theresa’s dormitory building with my shopping haul. Trying on the new clothes I had splurged on, Lindsay convinced me that despite feeling crappy because I was on my period, I deserved to go out and have a good time. I figured some dancing might help relieve my cramps, so I slipped into some black fishnet tights, a burgundy checked, high-waisted, mini skirt and a band t-shirt, butchered into a strappy crop top.

Queuing outside the Omen, I would be lying if I said I was not a little nervous about bumping into Mr whatever his name was. I huddled close to Lindsay and Theresa in my oversized black denim jacket and was glad to be inside, in the warm, within the hour. For a Saturday night, we got in pretty early, and I wasted no time hitting the dance floor. Tonight, Theresa had promised to stay with me, but we quickly lost Lindsay to another potential mate. I loved the bones of that girl, but she could go through five guys a week!

Since the termination of my dry spell, I had been feeling myself a little more, and seeing as I wasn’t looking to score that night, it felt safe to allow a few guys to dance with me. But when they touched me, as our bodies moved together, I couldn’t help but compare it to how my spine had tingled when Cole’s hands had been on me. Though he had been on my mind sporadically over the last fortnight, and I wasn’t surprised to see him working the bar when I arrived. I didn’t want his attention; it was too late, though, because he had noticed me and was making his way over. Fortunately, a closer bartender had just finished serving his last customer and also happened to know me; it was Karl.

“Hey Ana, the usual?” He asked, shooting me a toothy grin that I returned.

“Yeah, please. I didn’t see you last time I was in here. Are you not working as many shifts lately?”

“Ah, I’ve had some time off, had man-flu, you know how it is…” He slid my drink over the bar, and when he lingered near me, I chatted to him whilst I sipped at the little black straw that came with my drink.

“Must have been the same cold I have just gotten rid of; it put me in bed for a few days,” I explained, trying to be casual, but I could feel eyes on me. Although I scoped the vicinity for who it was, part of me already knew it was ‘Cole’.

“I’m not surprised wearing skimpy outfits like that." Karl joked and patted the back of my hand as it laid on the bar before he went to serve someone else. "Take care, sweetheart.”

I noticed Cole notice the innocent gesture and wondered what he made of it. He had no right to feel any particular way about it, but I remembered how he had asked who Benjamin was. Before he was free from his obligation to the person he was serving, I slipped away from the bar back into the crowd of dancing bodies.

“Hey babe, you okay? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” Lindsay startled me. She must have abandoned the guy she had hooked up with and was at my side, looking up at me with concern.

“I’m fine, don’t worry. I must be on heavy so I guess I’m a little drained.” I laughed off my peaked look and put it down to my period. “I’ve got a bit of a headache, though; I might take some tablets...”

“Well, then you should not be drinking that. Naughty...” Grabbed my drink from my hand, she took my wrist in the other and led me back towards the bar before I could stop her - for such a short arse, she was as strong as a bull. “Let’s get you some water instead.” Unbeknownst to Lindsay, she had led me straight into a trap; Cole was waiting to take her order the moment we arrived at the bar.

“What can I get you, ladies?” He asked in a tentative tone that caused his naturally warm voice to sound even more inviting.

“I’ll have whatever you’re best at making, but water for my friend.” I watched as Lindsay’s eyes lit up in delight; she liked what she saw. She was a shameless flirt at the best of times and fluttered her eyelashes at Cole as he made her drink. Sliding it over the bar towards her, he focused his eyes on me as he poured the spring water from it's bottle.

“Oh, tap water is fine.” Lindsay protested. Ironically the girl with the most money from my friends was also the tightest, but the bottled water was ridiculously over-priced.

“Consider this one on me then.” He stated calmly and placed the tall tumbler in front of me with a smile. I was annoyed by what looking at him was doing to me. Despite my menstruating, I had to squeeze my thighs together as they quivered at the memory of him between them.

“Boo!” Theresa grabbed Lindsay’s waist and took her attention; she had crept up behind us. I glanced over at the commotion, and ‘Cole’ took his chance when my friends were distracted - he slipped a napkin my way over the bar. Before I could ask what it was all about, he was gone. Peeling up the corner of the tissue, I glimpsed the words, ‘Call me’ and then what I assumed was his mobile number.

“Babe, you’re not looking good at all. We should take you home, yeah?” Lindsay said as she turned to face me.

I was quick to crumple the napkin up in my hand, and I agreed to go home. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m quite over that cold yet.” I excused myself and held the napkin up to my face as if I had the sniffles; it was just a signal to ‘Cole’ to show that I had at least taken it. I sipped down my water and shot him a look over the rim of the glass. Even though he was busy with another customer, he glanced my way every so often. As I walked away from the bar, led by Lindsay and Theresa in toe, I looked back at him. The way he eyed over me and bit down onto his lower lip made me flush bright red, and I was glad that the dance floor lights did something to conceal that from him.

I'd spend the next fortnight toying with the idea of calling him. The napkin found a home on my bedside table and every night I'd look at it when I put my mobile on charge and contemplated calling him to come over and keep me company... the cold nights were drawing in.

[23rd December 2009]

Two months had passed since our sexual rendezvous, and since then, I had managed not to get trapped in any more tense situations with him. Even though I had seen him several times when he was at work, in the end I never plucked up the courage to call him. I had taken the time to save his number in my phone as ‘The Stranger’, after all, I still didn’t believe that his name was Cole.

A few times, he had caught me off guard at the bar and slipped me a few more napkins. He never asked why I had not called him, they were usually just compliments but as charming as his pursute was I had taken them and still ignored his request to get in touch. If I was honest, I was enjoying keeping him hanging. It wasn’t often I got that sort of attention from someone out of my league in the looks department. Although I found my past lovers attractive, they were decidedly average looking compared to him.

The next time I would share anything but stolen glances with my fake named not so secret admirer would be on possibly the worst day of my life.

It was Christmas, and the school holidays had begun. It was the loneliest, saddest festive season I would ever have to endure. I should’ve been home enjoying the festivities with my parents, but I was burying them instead. That’s right; my beloved parents were dead.

There had been a horrific car accident, and they had both died on impact. The police thought nothing about the event was suspicious; it was just an utterly tragic event that had left me orphaned.

The funeral had been that Wednesday afternoon. As darkness fell, the rain had not let up, I got off the train and walked to my flat, instead of taking a taxi or the bus. Though I had an umbrella with me, I left it collapsed at my side, using the torrential downpour to disguise the fact that I was crying uncontrollably. I felt like I was drowning in my grief and let the cool rain wash away my tears.

The two people I loved the most, who I adored and looked up to, were gone. Not to mention that I wasn’t convinced that the car crash was as accidental as the police were making it out to be. Something just felt off. I was mulling it over, running through all the dark and twisted possibilities when I was startled from the depths of my murky imagination.

“Ana!” I cast my eyes both left and right to see who was calling out my name. By the curbside, a familiar car pulled up; it was Cole’s black saloon. Just like the night he had first picked me up, he had the window down and was leaning over the passenger seat to call out to me. “Why are you walking in the rain?”

Of all the people I would rather spend my time with, it’s you that’s here right now. How had my life gotten so bleak that I was actually happy to see his lying face? Everyone else I knew was back home enjoying Christmas with their dear ones. Lindsay, Theresa, and Benjamin were doing just that, at least.

Without answering him, I grabbed the door handle and slunk down into the vacant passenger seat. I resigned to the fact that my day could not have gotten any worse, so what was I going to gain from refusing a lift, if that was what he'd been offering. Liar or not, his company was better than being alone with my misery. Much like the first time I had gotten into his car, I pulled my coat tighter around myself, though this time it was a formal woollen duffle that I had worn to the funeral. Firstly, I kept the hood up to hide that my eyes were puffy from crying and second, to conceal my other secret, my ears.

The moment my father passed on, the concealment spell he had cast upon me as a child was undone. In the middle of the night, while I slept sound in my bed, my ears transformed. I woke up to the knocking on my flat’s front door, and when I checked my appearance in the hallway mirror by force of habit, I immediately noticed something different. My ears! The tops of my lobes had become pointed and distinguishably elven looking. Honestly? I quite liked them, but I knew that it could paint a target on my back if anyone saw them. I hid them from the two police officers who gave me the horrible news by keeping my hair down, even if their mutation soon got bumped down on my list of priorities.

I still hadn’t spoken a word, but I watched out of the corner of my eye when his hand fiddled with the heating controls on the centre console of the dashboard. With the hot air blowing, Cole reached over and adjusted the vents in front of me. The hot air blew past him, making it impossible to ignore his cologne and the notes of his own scent. Whether it was pheromones or what, but the scent somehow made me feel safe. I had mixed feelings about my feelings on that point.

On the one hand, it was nostalgic and reminded me of how my dad would comfort me when I was little and scared. Seeing that I was currently mourning my father, that realisation made my eyes sting but even though it made me sad, I wanted to relish that feeling. In my already pitiful state it made it hard not to reach out for Cole and hold him close so I could breathe him in and revel in the illusion of security. But, on the other hand, Cole’s scent made me feel different things, erotic things, so it was in my best interests to keep my distance.

I had been trying not to look at him too intently, but I still turned my head to watch him lean back into the driver’s seat. I was surprised to find him dressed more formally as well and clothed in slim-fitting black jeans that weren’t faded or torn like the ones he tended to wear to work and also in contrast to his usual style, he wore a dark blue-grey blazer over a charcoal turtleneck.

“You look cold.” He stated, his eyes locked onto the wing mirror and checking for a space in the traffic. He spoke again once we had pulled away from the curb. “And troubled…” Cole acknowledged my silence, but I felt no pressure to open up to him because he said, “I guess you’ll tell me where you want me to take you at some point… I’ll just drive around ‘til then, yeah?”

“My parents died. I’ve just got back from their funeral.” Making my situation clear was the least I could do, but I didn’t want him to drop me off anywhere just yet. I was comfortable in his quiet company. “And I don’t care where you take me. I was heading home to waste the day away. Watch films until I fell asleep, just anything to not think about-...” I paused. I could feel hot tears filling my eyes again.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” He sounded sincere, and the sympathetic smile he pulled only made him more convincing. I cursed myself for doubting that he actually meant it though my better nature knew he probably did not lie about everything.

“I-…” I started, only to look away from his face and into my lap. My emotions betrayed me and caused the tears that had welled up in my eyes to trickle down my cheeks. “Thanks…” I whispered, defeated.