Nothing had changed. If anything, the only notable difference was that he was beginning to lose muscle. It made her ache to see him wasting away like this. He'd been wiry, sure, but not thin, not weak. She massaged his scarred and calloused fingers, caressed his hand. If he could feel her, she knew that this gesture would remind him of her, of their connection. The buzz and beeps of the equipment, the sounds of the staff in the hall had become familiar and almost comforting. With a heavy sigh, she curled up in the chair, ready to settle in for an afternoon of napping by his side.

It was not to be. She recognized the footsteps, the self-assured voice in the hall as he greeted the nurses with a charming nonchalance. Charming, that is, to those who didn't know better. Ellette sighed and sat up in anticipation of the knock on the door.

He didn't wait for a response before pushing his way in. "Thought I'd find you here. Anytime your phone's off, this is the place to look," he said, with none of the reserved air or hushed tones that the nurses or other visitors used. No, he was perfectly comfortable, and not at all concerned that he might be treading on raw emotions.

"I turn off my phone so you won't bother me," Ellette muttered. She sighed and kept her focus on the man in the bed, knowing her time with him would soon be cut short.

"Ah, well, I just assumed it was because out of courtesy to the other patients," he glanced around, arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the doorway. "Either way, let's get out of here. We've got work to do if you want sleeping beauty here to wake up anytime soon."

Boris, of course, was right. Nothing she'd done on her own had brought her beloved Rand back to his body. If there was to be any hope of him waking, Boris and his connections to the Otherworld were her only hope. "Just.." she traced her hand along Rand's hairline, his skin pale and sickly under his dark complexion. "Just give me a few minutes, okay?"

The blond man in the doorway shrugged and slipped out the door. She could hear him start up a conversation with one of the nurses at the nearest station and was content that she would have a good few minutes of him flirting and chatting the poor woman up.

She ran her fingers through Rand's hair. It was oily, though not unclean. They were caring for him well enough, but he would have never have let his hair get like this. She couldn't help but notice how long it was. It would be hanging in his face, and she'd be on him to get it trimmed, even threatening to cut it herself. She did her best to work it into the style he usually wore it in, parted in the middle, tucked behind his ears. She bent to kiss his forehead and whisper in his ear.

"I don't know if you can hear me, but I'm going to bring you back. I'll get our apartment back, and we'll be sitting in that beautiful bay window overlooking the park in no time. I promise. You and me." She laughed then, straightening a little. "I miss your cooking. You have no idea. Boris lives off of take-out. I'm getting fat. Me. Fat," she bowed her head a little, emotion rushing in. "I miss you so much."

With that, she kissed his cheek, squeezed his hand, and turned away. If she stayed any longer she wouldn't be able to blink away the tears. Puffy red eyes had become too regular a look for her. She was determined to change that.

* * *

"Make sure to dress warmly," Boris ordered as he tossed the box of pizza down on the table. Ellette sighed and turned away in disgust.

"You couldn't even get a salad with that? I'm going to break out like a teenager from all this grease."

"Nothing's keeping you from doing your own shopping," Boris quipped back.

"You know how horrible my cooking is..."

"Then don't complain," he said around a massive bite of pizza. "God. This stuff is good. Growing up, the food... I mean, we had grand 'ole feasts and such, but nothing compares to the crazy stuff I can get in this city. Thank god for immigrants."

She rolled her eyes and pulled on a hoodie before fishing her hat and scarf from the closet and putting them beside her messenger bag. "What does pizza have to do with immigrants? What you've got there is in no way authentic Italian."

"No," he chewed, "but the rest of the food I like is. Mongolian, Thai, Korean, Chinese, Vietnamese, Indian, Middle Eastern, Spanish, Italian, Irish, need I go on? I can order it all, and then, if they don't deliver, I can call a guy to deliver it for me. Heaven, I tell you."

Ellette only sighed and settled on the couch to down a piece of pizza. At least he'd gotten a vegetarian for her. If she didn't eat, she'd be cranky, and considering the insanity, he liked to expose her to, cranky wasn't the best way to start the afternoon.

He grinned through a mouthful of meat-laden pizza. "See, I thought of you. Look at all those vegetables. Onions and bell peppers and even artichoke hearts! You can't say I don't pay attention to a ladies' needs."

She rolled her eyes and grunted a vague response. She'd lived with him for the better part of a month and still hadn't adapted to his... his... she wasn't sure how to define it. There was a definite feeling of a lack of personal space, but it wasn't like he stood too close. It was more than lack of silence, the way he seemed to fill the place with his presence. He was so much more than he seemed, had a volume to him that she couldn't shut out.

She finished her pizza, wiped her hands on her pants, muttered a curse when she realized she'd just smeared grease on her favorite jeans, and grabbed one of the napkins from under the pizza box. Content that she'd gotten her hands clean enough, she went about dressing for the weather that was growing colder with each passing day. Jacket, scarf, boots, hat, and gloves. She beat Boris down to the lobby, bustling with activity, a fire blazing. She sighed and wrapped her scarf around her face and pulled her hat down over her ears.

It was still light out, but cold enough to bite. She relished the open air as she inhaled and looked to the sky. The moon hung in the distance, it was waxing, just a sliver. She stared up at it with mixed feelings. She felt cursed, and yet, the moon had been her guide, a source of hope and fulfillment for so long, it was hard to see it as anything but that.

"Ah, there you are," Boris' voice broke into her thoughts and she turned to him.

What she saw baffled her. It was indeed Boris who had spoken, she knew that voice anywhere, but the man dressed in trench coat and hat was somehow older, more world-weary than the boyish blonde she'd grown to know. Her confusion must have shown because he held his jacket open, modeling it for her. "What? Don't like it?"

She shook her head and then caught herself. "No, it's fine, but..."

His grin widened to Cheshire proportions and he put his hands to his face before making an 'Oh!' expression. "You mean this?" he said, implying his subtly altered features. "Just a little talent I've picked up over the years. Or was born with. I forget."

She simply shook her head and thrust her hands in her pockets. "Well, where to?"

"To meet some people," he replied vaguely and set off down the street, carrying a staff she'd not noticed before. Ellette scrambled after and fell into place beside him. He walked swiftly, but she could match him easily enough, stride for stride.

"Alright, I have to ask. What's with the get-up and staff?" she asked, unable to resist any longer. She'd been forced to accept the unexplained often enough with him. This was a little too bizarre not to question.

"When we met, I showed you a form that you'd be most comfortable with. A young man, attractive yet not threatening. My acquaintances do not know me as such," he explained. He turned to her, though his features were distinctly different the grin was still familiar. "As for the staff, you'll see."

Soon they were at Leeson Avenue park, a familiar favorite of hers. She glanced around wistfully, remembering the long summer evenings spent beneath those trees with Rand.

Before she'd realized it, they were in an area she wasn't familiar with. It was a large park, but she knew it well. There were in the south end, or so it appeared, but the trees seemed wrong, the path curving in a direction she didn't expect. Soon, they were in a clearing.

No, not a clearing. A garden, a massive garden surrounded by a wild hedge which was a mix of blackberry brambles, and bushes. She paused, taking in the place. How, in all her wanderings had she never found this place? Boris shot her a glance back over his shoulder and hurried to catch up with him. She had the feeling the entire place would flicker out of existence if she wasn't with him.

He held up the staff, and a design at the top glowed to life. Only then did he proceed forward through the opening in the thicket. The air hit her like a wall; thick, warm, and smelling of earth. She instinctively pulled at her scarf, loosening it. It was so humid, she was scrambling to keep up with Boris as she worked out of her jacket, a trickle of sweat starting to form on her brow. Boris glanced back at her and pulled off his hat, grinning that obnoxious knowing grin. How was he not hot in his trenchcoat? She wondered.

"Well, if it isn't Louie! How nice of you to visit," called a woman from amongst the plants.

Ellette shot Boris a questioning glance and mouthed, "Louie?"

He shrugged and returned his attentions to the woman. "Ah, Fotla, I'd like you to meet Ellette. Ellette, this is Fotla."

The woman, well built, colorfully dressed with thick dark dreadlocks beamed and approached Ellette. "Lana will do. Fotla was my mother, this crazy old bastard just can't seem to keep things straight anymore." She reached out to Ellette, putting her hands on her shoulders, taking her in. "Look at you. So you are the dreamwalker all the whispers are about?"

Ellette stood stiff under this woman's scrutiny. While the compact woman with a tangle of dreadlocks gave off a motherly vibe, she, like Boris seemed to take up more space than their physical form. As if sensing Ellette's discomfort, Lana stepped back and patted her on the arm. "

"I suppose I am," Ellette muttered self-consciously. This realization that people seemed to know about her and what she could do was disconcerting.

"I'm glad to have finally met you," Lana continued. "I hope Louie and I can help you. So sad to hear about your bard. He is such a sweet lad."

Ellette took a step back, her heartbeat picking up in pace. She knew about Rand too? Were any of her secrets safe?

Lana laughed and turned away, "It's alright, girl. Only those of us who need to know. Come along. I want to show you my garden."

Ellette glanced to Boris, or Louie, as he seemed to be called now. He grinned and shrugged. She sighed and followed Lana's lead. A tour of the garden didn't seem to be the most productive use of time, but she didn't have a choice.

As they walked, Ellette became aware of the fact that the garden was quite alive, and not just with plant life. There were chickens pecking and scratching around, sometimes right underfoot. She nearly kicked a black and white speckled hen before it squawked in annoyance at her and ambled off. A goat came galloping up to Lana, who laughed and kneeled to pet the creature.

"This is a sanctuary within the city. My own urban homestead. I'll let you in on a little secret. All those urban homesteaders, they got the idea from me. Now it's so trendy to raise chickens in your backyard. I actually give seminars, it's become so popular."

Boris chuckled, "So modest."

Lana laughed. "Well, it's true! Too bad they can't keep the cold out the way I can. Normal greenhouses don't work nearly as well as the magic kind."

"And that, my dear Lana, is why I brought Ellette to you. Can you teach her some of your abilities? To pass through realms as you have here?"

Lana raised a brow and patted the goat on the head before rising. "I suppose we could try. She is mortal, despite her gifts. I don't know how much will stick."

"We have to start somewhere. Understanding how to slip between realms will help greatly."

Lana nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

"That's all I ask."

Ellette visited Lana every chance she got once Boris had shown her the trick to finding the hidden garden. Labor was her payment for Lana's time, and so she learned a great deal about chickens, milking goats, churning butter, and caring for a garden. Not only did she enjoy the fresh vegetables, eggs, milk, and butter Lana would send her home with, the physical labor of it helped to soothe her body and soul.

The lessons from Lana consisted mostly of listening to a spattering of tales of magic and the Otherworld. While Ellette's general understanding of the magical that allowed her to pass through dream and back into reality grew, the daunting task of rescuing Rand still weighed heavily upon her. The lack of progress with Lana's tutoring was disheartening.

Ellette anxiety was palpable. She'd come from visiting Rand. He was beginning to decline, they'd finally been forced to intubate him. It was painful to see the tubes forced down his throat. The feeding tube had been one thing, but this... she could barely stand it.

"I think it's time to put into practice some of what you've learned," Lana was saying. "It's become fairly obvious that your powers will not work while you are conscious. So we need to set to training you to lucid dream."

"Isn't that what I do, lucid dream? I'm fully conscious when I step into the dreamworld," Ellette asked, fidgeting in her seat. She couldn't concentrate, let alone relax. The idea of slipping into dream seemed nearly impossible.

"Yes. You are aware while dreaming, yet it isn't until you are in a dream that you become aware, correct? The moon guides you into the dreamrealm, decides where you are to go. What if you were able to decide on your destination and not lose yourself in the process of falling into dream?"

"Easier said than done," Ellette sighed. "Don't you think I've tried?" Every time she'd visited Rand, she'd reached out to him, focused on finding him. Holding his hand, she'd slipped into dream every opportunity she had. Yet she'd never been able to find him, to find the cabin again. She was sure he was there, trapped in that place of his youth.

Lana put a consoling hand on her shoulder. "I will help. You can do this," she encouraged. "We've been working in visualization and meditation. Today we will put it into practice. I will help to push, guide the way. Soon, though, you will be able to do this on your own."

Ellette nodded, her emotions raw and heavy in her throat. She didn't dare speak, but she was hopeful. Lana had been nothing but kind to her. If she could show the way, Ellette was more than willing to follow.

"I need you to lay down. We are going to work on sending you into dream, but with a clear vision of who you are and what your purpose"

Ellette obeyed, settling onto the worn couch. It was comfortable and smelled faintly of earth and the musk of goats. After the calming hours spent in Lana's presence, she couldn't help but associate the scents with peace and comfort. She inhaled and closed her eyes, relaxing her body as best she could, just as Lana had taught her.

"Now, listen to the sound of my voice. You are a champion of the moon, a paladin of the night. I need you to envision yourself as this champion. Feel yourself weighted with the armor of your duty. Beautiful plated armor, heavy and strong. It keeps you safe from harm, keeps you connected to your cause. Now, imagine yourself astride a great steed. This horse, this beast, will take you to the place you desire. It is your loyal servant, just as you are a servant to the Moon.

If you guide this steed, he will take you through the mists of dream to your desired destination."

Ellette listened, eyes closed, imagining such a thing. The thought of riding a horse, a great animal, felt strangely real. To imagine not just a motorcycle, her usual transportation of choice when she slipped into the dreamworld, but an animal, a companion, a guide, it lifted her spirit. The weight of armor, she could almost feel it upon her now, yet it was no heavier than her own heart, her own sense of duty.

"Now," came Lana's voice again, "Where do you wish to go?

"To find Rand," she heard herself say, though the sound of her voice was a million miles away. She was no longer in that body. She was upon her steed, and he was taking her into a bright white light, into...