Boris' apartment was in a pristine, stately old building on the upscale end of the Leeson Park district. Calling it an apartment was something of an understatement. He had the entire upper floor to himself. As she had in at Rand's family's house, she felt out of place and stood stiffly in the doorway, her arms wrapped about herself.

Boris settled in with ease, tossing down his keys and flipping on lights and appliances. He was talking all the while, but the words didn't register. Ellette was captivated by the view from the wall of windows across from her. She stood staring, blinking her painful, reddened eyes.

Boris had physically steer her into the spare room before handing her a pair of sweats and a tshirt. "Here, I know you're still in your pajamas from earlier, but if you'd like to change into something clean? I might have some other things that will fit you for tomorrow. There is a bathroom attached to this room, so help yourself. I'll order delivery. What do you like? I was thinking some curry. Or maybe you'd prefer some soup?"

She shook her head. Though her stomach rumbled noisily, the thought of food wasn't something she could concentrate on right now.

Boris continued as if her lack of response was perfectly normal. "I'll order something light. Miso soup maybe? Oh, no, I know. Pho." He turned from her, already dialing and left her to clean herself up while he ordered.

Ellette found the bathroom and put the clothes down on the counter, stripped and climbed into the bath. She turned on the shower and let the hot water pulse over her until the room was filled with steam and the bath was nearly brimming. She turned off the faucet and let herself slip under the water, staring up through the liquid distortion at the tiled ceiling.

It was tempting to stay under, to let herself drown, though she knew her body would fight it, that she wouldn't succeed. Even if she did, she would be failing Rand. He needed her, as helpless as she was to help him. She would find a way. With that, she exhaled and sat up. The water had helped to ease the ache in her body and sooth the puffiness and pain in her tear reddened eyes.

There was a knock at the door, and Boris' voice came through, too cheery, too persistent. "I have soup! It looks amazing, come out and have some."

She sighed and climbed from the bath, finding a luxuriously thick rope to wrap herself in. She couldn't help but wonder how often he had guests. Dressed in the borrowed clothes, her hair still damp, she shuffled out to the living room where he sat with takeout packages lining the coffee table. The TV was blaring and filling the darkened room with light. Ellette sat down beside him.

“Just look at this spread,” he said cheerily. “ I know you haven’t eaten all day, so I ordered extra.”

She nodded, taking the offered bowl of soup and chopsticks. Her stomach rumbled again and she realized just how amazing it smelled "Thank you, she murmured, and dug in. About half way through, her nose was running from the heat, and her body, now nourished allowed her to feel once more. The tears started before she'd realized and she dropped the chopsticks.

She grabbed for the napkin, quickly dabbing at her face to blot away the tears. Determined, she sniffled and wiped her nose. “Nothing like all that steam to clear your sinuses," she tried febely. She excused herself to the bathroom. There she blew her nose and made an attempt to fix her hair. Appearances, even when one was broken and weary, still mattered. She’d learned this long ago on the streets. Look confident even in rags and people would think twice before messing with you.

She took a deep breath and returned to the living room. She wouldn’t let Boris intimidate her or let him see her as vulnerable. Not anymore. “So, what happens now Mr. Friend of the DreamWalkers? You my new guardian? I am an adult, so I can probably handle things from here.”

He laughed and muted the TV. “See, I told you you needed some food. Mortal bodies are finicky like that. Feel a little better now?”

She nodded and sat back on the couch, her arms crossed over her chest. “I mean it, though, what happens now?”

“Now we look into what is going on in the Otherworld. I have two theories. Either mother, I mean, the Moon Goddess has other plans for your dear bard, or we’re dealing with a rogue fae. Neither would surprise me. Fae like to meddle and have been known to kidnap... ”

“What about Jessie, didn’t you say she was fae?”

Boris shook his head. “Fae yes, but she’s fairly benign. Or at least she has been for decades. Just a wanderer, a bard herself. She has worked with me on many occasion, I wouldn’t think she’d meddle with one of the Moon’s own.”

“But Rand isn’t a servant of the Moon. I am.”

He shook his head. “The Mother Goddess has assisted him on more than one occasion, has she not? He has traveled with you where only the DreamWalkers tred.”

She put up a hand. “Wait, wait, wait. The fact that I took him with me, that's not normal?” she pinched the bridge of her nose, her head beginning to ache once more. “And better yet, how do you even know about that?”

“It is easy enough for those in the Otherworld to notice when you pass. A DreamWalker isn’t of much interest. Your kind has been around for a long time. Granted, you’re a bit more... ah, talented than most, but still, perfectly normal. But when you brought the bard through with you, that was noticed. The first time was a fluke, or so the murmurs and whispers all seemed to agree. The second time was a sign.”

She shook her head, it was all she could take. Everything was moving too fast, she was too tired, still too grief stricken to cope. “I, think I need to sleep,” she said simply. “I can’t even begin to process this.” She sighed and stood. “Listen, Boris, thank you for everything, but I think I need some time.”

He glanced up at her, brows raised. “Oh? Fair enough. Go, go sleep. Rand is in good hands. I’ll see what I can find. When you’re ready, just call.”

* * *

She managed to go to work the next day and then the next after that. Soon, she grew used to chilling absence, the painful gap left in her life. Rand's room stayed dark, his things untouched. Boris met her often to check in on her, to make sure she was eating. Rand's father came by to discuss their financial situation, to deal with the fact that Rand's insurance would only cover so much. He'd assured Ellette that he would to take care of the medical bills, but Ellette would need to take care of her own financial arrangements. It was fair enough, and she accepted the fact that she'd either have to find a new apartment or rely on Boris’ generosity once more. Neither she was quite ready to deal with. She wanted to cherish every last minute in their apartment. It was precious, this perfect place that he had found to make her happy, for them both to start their life together in.

Reality was once more a bleak, endless struggle. Dreams were an escape, but she no longer felt fulfilled by her duties, by the path she had previously blazed. Now, she trudged through each night because it was better than her waking reality, but not by much. Work was work.Long, monotonous, a use of time, a way to pass the day.

She climbed on the bus, crowded and comfortingly warm after the wait on the cold curb, the air thick with moisture and a near constant drizzle. She didn't bother to pull off her scarf or hat, just sat, uncomfortably warm, wedged into her seat. Her stop wasn't too far. Fifteen minutes, hardly even worth the wait.

The bus managed to break down three stops from home. Just a walk across the park. She'd avoided that wilderness for a reason. Memories, places, people that occupied that space were amongst the many things she was doing her best to avoid. Rand had played there often, and they'd walked those paths together frequently. The knowledge that she might never see him there, walk with him hand in hand, it was barely tolerable.

She climbed from the bus as most the other passengers had, out into the damp. It would be just a short walk, only a few minutes to cut across the damp park. There were sure to be hardly a soul there in the weather today. She set off, hat pulled down low over her ears, scarf wrapped around her face, hands thrust into her pockets.

Her boots crunched noisily along the gravel path, the only sound in the muffled air. The quiet of the park was only broken by an occasional rustle in the trees. Even the wildlife had settled in to wait out the rain. The stillness around her made the thread of a melody all the more clear. It was hauntingly familiar. She looked up, searching out the source. Her heart came alive, fluttering with hope.

It was him, wasn't it? He was the only one she'd ever heard play that melody. Thats when it hit her. He couldn't be out here, especially playing that song. It was a secret song, precocious and reserved. It was a song he'd played for his son and only on a rare occasion for her. It was soothing, sweet and haunting. Certainly not the sort of music to draw a crowd.

She picked up her pace, searching out the sound. If he was here, did he know the bus broke down? Was this way of surprising her? The hope that bloomed in her chest made it hard to breathe. Did she dare humor such an impossible hope?

The tune was so clear. There. The musician was just ahead, just behind the tree at opposite side of the bridge. Rand had played there often, it was a popular spot. Then, she saw the player, a woman, petite, freckled, fair and with a mass of auburn curls that obscured her face, wild and fizzy in the damp autumn air. Rage quickly replaced the hope that had filled her just moments ago.

"How do you know that song?" Ellette growled, stepping up to Jessie and stilling her playing with a firm hand of the neck of the guitar.

The little woman grinned and put her hands up, letting the guitar hang loosely from its strap. "Easy, Elly girl! It's pretty, isn't it?"

"Answer the question, Jessie. That song, where did you learn it?"

"Well, Rand of course."

She shook her head. "That song is special, he wouldn't have played it for you."

Jessie shrugged and leaned against the tree, gazing up at Ellette with infuriating calm. "He plays it all the time."

"Since when?" Ellette exclaimed. "He's been in the hospital for the last week. He almost never plays that song."

"Well, he plays it now. Over and over. Haven't you heard him?"

"Did you not hear me, woman? He's in the hospital! He hasn't played a single note in over a week." Ellette was trembling now. She'd fought to avoid all things Rand, to keep a handle on her emotions, to stay numb, safe, and just get through the days.

"You off all people should be able to hear him," Jessie shrugged. "Such gifts are wasted on you, girl."

Ellette couldn't contain herself any longer. She reached out and grabbed Jessie by the collar of her shirt, thrusting the smaller woman hard against the tree. "Tell me now! Where is he? I dreamwalk every night, and I can't find him. Don't you think I would if I could?"

Jessie only laughed. "So passionate, so powerful, and yet so blind."

"Shut up!" Ellette snapped.

Jessie clamped her mouth shut and smirked.

Ellette released the woman and stepped back. "Why do you taunt and torment me?"

Jessie only shrugged and reached for her guitar. Ellette sighed as the woman began strumming once more. She walked away, escaping the haunting melody as swifty as she could. Once she felt as if she could breathe again, think rationally, she knew what she needed to do. She was dialing the number before she'd even realized she'd gotten out her phone.

"Boris? Jessie’s seen Rand, heard him play.”

“I take it this means you’re ready?” his tone was predictably smug.

“Yes. I'm going to find him.”

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