I miss her. How I miss her. They took her. Do they even love as we? Give it time we will see. She is gone, so much blood. We had the bond, but now it’s gone. Gray skin, black claws, white hair, red eyes. Monster goblins take the prize.

I pity they who may be chained to those vicious beasts. If there is a bond, death will come, and there lives are sure to cease.

-“Doc” Vorran Date: 12 years post poisoning Anolbee

TALEA:

It’s been a month since the accident, a long frustrating month. I spent what felt like an eternity trapped inside waiting, always waiting. My body is recovered for the most part after the first week, but Lesedi took longer. She had bones to mend and wounds to heal, her body is now riddled with thick scars, though Erian assures us they will fade into thin white lines. A white welted line now runs diagonal across her face from her right cheek to her left lip corner, a physical reminder to her always of what happened, because of me.

I’m beyond grateful that my sister lived, that she healed in an incredible way that blew away Erian’s expectations. The healer was shocked every day at the rapid progress both of us made, she said she wished every patient was as strong as us.

Despite all this, my focus has been elsewhere. I know I should be grateful, content, happy that everything worked out and Lesedi lived. I should look inward and think about my actions and how to prevent this in the future. I know that. But that’s not what I’ve been doing. Instead I’ve been shamefully obsessing over a nightstalker I met once. Consumed by him, questioning who he is and why he’s important, speculating on why he helped us has drowned out every thought. It’s been painful, it’s like there’s this pull on my nerves demanding that I find him. I’ve found myself standing in front of the door in the dead of night with what feels like a hand pulling on my chest trying to yank me through.

I don’t know what’s happening and I’m scared. We’ve heard so many high tales of nightstalkers, some say they can invade your mind with horrible images and brainwash you. I’ve heard others say they can control you and dominate you with only their will. I’m sure none of it’s true, but something is happening, something I can’t fight for much longer. Lesedi knows I’m sure, but I’m too afraid to tell her. I’m afraid of what it’ll lead to, she’ll get hurt again because of me.

We’ve had visits from our aunt and uncle twice a week during our stay. They bring food for us to ease the burden from Erian, though she never complained. Today we go home, we’ll see the rest of our family and again be in our own home. Lesedi is ecstatic, she beams with excitement and joy longing to be home again. For me, I feel like it’s more of a lateral move. One hole to another.

The suns are fresh in the sky lighting up the cold world in rays of pale gold. The grass is stiff with frost and crunches under our feet as we walk through the doorway to the wagon. Lesedi pauses looking around with anxious eyes, this is the first time she’s been outside since it happened. I reach out to hold her hand but she turns it away. She’s changed, she’s stronger in a way, colder. I’m not sure if it’s a good thing.

Lune has set on us now; gray clouds litter the sky in patches. Sharp cold blows through us with a soft gust of wind. This is only the beginning, soon the days will be so much worse. At the height of this horrible season we can’t even step outside for several weeks or we’ll die in minutes. My heart starts to race thinking about it, being trapped down inside that hole. No way out. Last lune, I was sixteen, in response to the confinement I spent two days running up and down the stairs over and over with only a few breaks and no sleep. When Lesedi tried to make me stop I punched her. Wren brought an end to it by sneaking strange herbs into my food. I had to spend the rest of lune in a stupor lest I snap and hurt someone. There’s something about it that messes with my mind, I’m not meant to be trapped like that.

We climb into the wagon, Lesedi and I sit in the back on a blanket and hay to help with the cold. The wagon is shiny and made of numinium, which is strong and allows shelter in case of attack, but does little to protect from cold. Erian’s entire team of fand are hitched up and ready to go, six of them. With nervousness spilling out of her she leaves her children in lockdown at home. She has a barricaded safe room hidden in the back behind a secret door. I’d call her paranoid, but I think it’s more like caution at this point. I can see she’s fighting a tremble at leaving her children home, even if they are well fortified. But it’s safer than traveling out here. Out here, nightstalkers happen.

She snaps the reigns and the fand begin trotting into action. Their delicate hooves crunch on the icy grass as we pull away from Erian’s home. She glances back one more time, filled with guilt and fear, then pulls away. Alaric looks up at the sky brimming with silent worry about the overcast settling in. Lesedi sits across from me shivering and rubbing her arms for heat. I’m not as bothered by the cold, it’s annoying and uncomfortable but tolerable.

Steadying myself against the bumps in the road I crouch on my heels and push myself over the lumpy blanket to sit next to Lesedi instead of across from her. I wrap my arms around her and pull her close to keep her warm. She sighs annoyed but doesn’t pull away.

Lesedi glares at the wagon wall. “How are you always so warm?”

I shrug. “I don’t know.”

She turns to look at me studying my face. She bites the tips of her gloves and pulls them from her fingers, then winces from them being exposed to the cold air. Reaching up, she rests her hands against my exposed throat hiding underneath my unbuttoned coat. Her fingers are freezing, like thin dusky icicles.

Lesedi sighs with comforting relief and then snorts. “Suns Talea, you don’t even flinch.”

I tilt my head to the side unsure of how to respond to this, so I nod. Looking at Lesedi still shivering I lift my tunic and grab both of her hands. She tries to pull away at first but I stick both her hands against my stomach and pull the coat over them. The temperature change is jarring at first but her hands begin to warm up in earnest. She sighs again and flexes her digits against my skin like the feelings is coming back to them.

Her cheeks pucker and she laughs. “This is so weird Tal.”

I chuckle. “Maybe. But do you feel better?”

Her shivering stops with a soft nod. “I do. Thank you.”

I smile. “It’s the least I could do.” There we go, I almost get her killed but I warm her fingers on my sweaty stomach. Even.

Up front Alaric rides as Erian’s partner, he has his bow ready with an arrow nocked just in case. There isn’t anyone else out here, not Skysingers anyway. As soon as the first frost hits the ground all travel stops, besides the grayskins lurking about the cold gets so sharp you can lose limbs. Fingers can just fall off your body like they were made of clay.

I can feel Lesedi’s fingers twitching against my stomach, like she has the urge to drum her fingers against something with worry. She’s frightened, and good at concealing it from everyone but me. I can feel it, she’s terrified. We need something besides tense silence waiting for attack.

I cough and turn to speak towards Erian. “Do you ever hear any news from the other cities? Other than Gerafar anyways.”

Erian glances at me then turns her eyes back front. “You hear things now and again. I actually have a messenger that I bribe to give me any information coming from Capital Island. Even if it’s classified.”

I smile. “How’d you manage that?”

She looks back at me again grinning with pride. “He has a weakness for vernum. The plant only grows around here. I enable him.”

Lesedi’s head perks up and a disapproving scowl sets in her face. “Vernum is highly addictive.”

“That’d be why the bribe works my dear.” She shrugs with a satisfied smile.

Lesedi gasps pulling her hands to her mouth then darting them back to my stomach. “But it’s damaging to the nervous system with long term use, he could die. You’re a healer.”

Erian shrugs facing the cold world in front of us. “I am. My primary concern is the health and well-being of people. For me, that means my family first. I need to be kept aware of any possible threats or changes coming our way. I am a healer, Lesedi, but sometimes we all have to make uncomfortable choices.”

Without warning I feel like my insides twitch; I feel something out there. It’s like an invisible hand is yanking on my stomach. I strain my neck to try and see out, there’s nothing but frosty plains.

I shake my head trying to brush off the feeling. “What kind of news is so important?”

Erian holds her breath as if deciding whether she should share the information with us. Over the past month we’ve all grown close, shared a lot, but there’s still the fear of trusting others. “Days before you came to me, I had a visit from my messenger. He tried to hold back on me. But he spilled once I doubled my offer. A couple weeks prior a band of nightstalkers broke into Arinos, they devastated everything, and everyone.”

Alaric frowns and pinches his chin. “We met a soldier who told us the same thing. The Sky Legion was trying to track down those responsible.”

“I can see why. Lesedi, tell us why this news is impossible.” Erian tilts her head back with both a smile and a frown.

Lesedi’s face falls from a mask of judgement to worry. “Arinos is, was, a self-sustaining colony. They walled themselves off without even a gate. They had an underground cavern system with continual running fresh water and unusually fertile land. They sealed off any exits above and below ground with hardstone. It’s a fortress. The people have lived there undisturbed with no one in or out for the past hundred years.”

I frown and shake my head. “Wait, wait, wait. How do we know that? If they don’t come or go, how do we know they didn’t all starve or something?”

A softening smile crosses her face. “They had wind dusters. Small blue birds that can fly incredible distances, across the whole world, without needing rest. They’re perfect navigators. Once taken to one place they remember exactly how to get there and back on command. The best part is they pass down this information through genetic memory. As long as you keep the bloodlines healthy, they rarely have to train new ones. They trained them before it was sealed up, and then every month they send a letter. After some care and food, it travels back to its home. There are volumes of books with copies of the letters, it’s fascinating.”

I smile as the spark comes back to Lesedi’s eyes. As it always does when she talks about something “fascinating”.

Erian nods but then her eyes darken. “Then the letters stopped. For the first time in one hundred years a letter didn’t come at its scheduled time. According to my messenger they sent a contingent of the legion to check it out. But when they arrived, they found the hardstone seal was broken allowing nightstalkers to flood onto a people unprepared.”

Lesedi’s spark fades and is replaced with a cold panic she’s suppressing. “That’s impossible. Hardstone is unbreakable, it’s the only thing that keeps us protected. The nightstalkers don’t have the ability to destroy walls, we don’t even have that ability!” The panic is creeping into her voice.

Erian’s body is tense and still. “Nothing is fool proof. Everything, everyone, has a weakness.”

Alaric pulls his brows together with crossed arms. “The people need to be warned.”

“No.” Lesedi shakes her head, she’s shivering but I don’t think it’s from cold anymore.

“What?” Alaric leans back in shock. “Lesedi, they deserve to know.”

“Know what? Know that our walls are now useless?” Lesedi gestures wildly with her tone reaching a high pitch, she pauses and collects herself. “We don’t even know who did this, how, or why. The most dangerous enemy one can have is the one they know nothing about. That is where we are. All we would do is cause a panic and a whole lot of chaos. The collective clings together by a bare thread as it is. No, until there is more information, we say nothing.”

“Well put Lesedi.” Erian nods with approval, they’ve developed a special teacher student relationship. “I share this information with you, because I am fond of you three. I want you to have the opportunity to prepare for whatever lies ahead.”

I force a smile. “Everything will be fine though right?”

Alaric smiles back, also false. “Of course. Everything will be fine.” Everyone nods in agreement, everyone is lying.

Now the group feels even more tense than before. I can feel the panic boiling inside everyone, there are so many implications from the news. Without our walls, Skysingers don’t stand a chance. The cities would be slaughtered, it could mean our very extinction. Here in the outlands we’ll be ok, except our homes are made of the same material as the walls. If they can break, so can our only shelter. We’re all thinking about the same thing in this moment, death.

With the worry welling up inside of me I let out what borders on a shriek. “What was it like?” I shake my head and cough drowning in awkwardness. My voice calms. “Before The Poisoning, Lesedi, what was it like?”

Lesedi looks at me with a raised eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t like listening to my boring stories.”

The wagon hits a bump and she lets out a shriek, she’s scared out of her mind right now. We all are. “Well, I would like to nap through the rest of the trip. A boring story should do the trick.”

Lesedi smiles and her eyes gleam with the joy of storytelling. “Long ago, when two people were one, Zaran was at peace beneath the suns. A civilization of spires and knowledge had spread across the land. With its insight and wisdom, it brought light to darkness. Zaran itself was a single island of peace amidst an abyss of chaos.” Lesedi’s grin grows as she’s absorbed by the story. “The swirl of colors in the rainbow gem of our world was kept in the warm embrace of harmony. With air that smelled sweet, and a harmony that had lain unbroken for millennia past. This is the Zaran our ancestors once knew.”

I let out a relaxing breath, I’ve never told her but I love listening to Lesedi tell a story. Especially this one, she thinks I’m dull with history, but this is one of the few that I enjoy hearing again and again. Listening to her tell it with so much enthusiasm and passion makes me smile. We don’t have a lot left over from The Poisoning, lots of things were destroyed. But some people kept journals of their experiences or wrote down their stories, those are the only pieces we have to the puzzle. What Lesedi just recited is from a copy she has at home from a personal journal of an early founder of Evos. It’s the only one of her books I too have memorized.

Erian chuckles under her breath. Alaric looks over at her. “What is it?”

She shakes her head. “Oh, it’s a sweet little story but it didn’t do us a lot of good did it?”

Lesedi looks at the driver with an imposing frown. “What do you mean?”

Another apathetic shrug. “I’m just saying. Pacifism and peace didn’t help us in the end did it? Civilized people get killed by monsters. The ‘uncivilized’ survive. We should have spent more time learning to use a sword and less time hugging each other. Then we might have defeated the nightstalkers when they first cropped up.”

Lesedi gulps down frustrated offense maintaining her composure as best she can. “If we hadn’t grown into the civilized people we were, we might have beaten the nightstalkers, but we would also be just like them. In that case, we wouldn’t be worth saving anyway.”

Alaric snorts with surprise. “Suns Lesedi! That’s a bit dark.”

She shoots him a humorless glare. “Sometimes that’s how the truth is. Those monsters are evil, it would do us no good to be evil in return.”

Erian laughs and shakes her head. “Then you believe the dogma?” Her voice drops to a low mocking tone. “The void stretched from the darkness and poisoned our world with evil. Father Sky pushed back the void king Scliras and his monsters with his light. Some of us were preserved from the poison of evil so that we may live on anew. After we passed his test of faithfulness, he heaved all evil into the night they deserve and now Father Sky protects us with his light and good grace.” Erian rolls her eyes in an act of blasphemy to many. It makes me like her more.

Lesedi draws in a patient breath. “I believe that a powerful mythos was created to help people deal with the terrifying reality we live in. The existence of Father Sky or The Void doesn’t matter. It helps people cope and I for one am in favor of anything that helps alleviate a little bit of the suffering.” Lesedi pauses and withdraws her hands from my tunic. I can see steam rising from them. She clasps them in her lap. "Though who's to say? A legend may have its root in fact though we may not understand it."

Erian’s shoulders droop and she lets out a foggy breath. “I’m sorry if I offend you. I see so much suffering at the claws of those monsters. My mother and father were devoted priests of the sky temple in Thraz. I used to believe that the evil was balanced with the good. But-“

Lesedi turns and reaches forwards to pat Erian’s shoulder. “I understand. You don’t need to say more. ‘Our past is bloody. But our future can be pure.’ It’s a saying from the philosopher Henget Klin. He had some interesting insights.”

Again, my stomach churns as the imaginary hand pulls on my torso wrenching me aside. My body jerks in response and I feel like vomiting. My legs tingle and I feel the undeniable need to jump out of this wagon and run blind towards it. But if I did Lesedi would run after me, no more stupid decisions. At least, not until I get her home safe.

Alaric finally speaks. “But what can you do?”

What can you do? People have tried to stand up and fight in the past. People have tried to war for their freedom. They just get slaughtered. The nightstalkers also have tried again and again to rise up against us. We kill them. They kill us. It’s a never-ending stalemate of misery.

With a jolt the wagon comes to an abrupt stop, Lesedi is thrown backwards and I slam against the hard metal walls. Our hearts almost stop with the movement and right away Erian grabs her crossbow leaping into action. I get to my feet and leap forward hunching over the back of the driving bench. No attack comes, no predators of any kind, the world is silent and still.

A gentle breeze wisps past and I can see small snowflakes on the wind. Erian wrestles to keep control of the fand. I looked around. “What’s going on?”

Alaric’s body is stiff as stone pointing his bow. “There’s something out there spooking them.”

Lesedi bites her lip. “Nightstalkers?”

Erian shakes her head. “If it were nightstalkers we’d be dead. It’s probably just a yar or some other big lumbering thing in the woods.”

I step over the bench and jump from the wagon in the middle of the panicking fand. One almost kicks me in the face but I duck down and bolt out of the way. ”I’m going to go check it out. Lesedi can soothe anything. Give her a chance she’ll calm them down.”

Alaric groans with frustration. “Talea no. You can’t go wandering off.”

The wind gusts again and I feel it, the pull. I have to follow it. I smile at my cousin. “We both know I’m going to.” Lesedi climbs out of the wagon with slow hesitation. I pull her into a tight hug. “Put that charming disposition of yours to good use. I’ll be back.”

“Tal-“Alaric tries to protest.

I stop him with one glance and unhook my meteor hammer pulling the studded ball into my hand. “I need you to protect them understand?”

Alaric leans back incredulous. “Who put you in charge?”

I tilt my head to the side and rais an eyebrow. “I’m not in charge. I’m fodder. Protect her. I’ll be back.”

He nods and sighs. With the bow still ready for attack he climbs down from the wagon and nudges me aside whispering so Lesedi can’t hear. “If anything happens. I will leave you here.”

Any playfulness drops from my face. I glance over at Lesedi, the thick slash cuts through her face, and nod at Alaric. “I hope that you do.”

✽✽✽

I leave boot prints in the fresh falling snow. It looks like a dusting of powdered geckle on a cake. Snow always accumulates slower in the forest, but with how much I see on the forest floor already a blizzard must be coming. We don’t have much time, fand aren’t like orbig, they can’t muscle their way through snow. They’re delicate creatures meant for speed and agility.

I follow the pull into the forest, I know what’s spooking the fand. I don’t know how I can help, maybe I can draw it away from them so they can get away. I don’t care what I have to do, I just want Lesedi to stay safe this time. The woods look so foreboding, the bark of the noble purple trees feels malicious with bare scraggly branches. The world is gray and colorless. I pull my green coat tighter around myself and fasten the buttons, not from cold but a chill deep inside.

I flinch. Through the bare branches of the forest canopy I see something. A black figure in the sky. Moving. But in an eye blink it disappears, it was nothing, maybe just a leaf falling. My nerves on edge to say the least.

I trek deeper into the tree line while snow falls around me in thicker sheets. The forest is turning whiter by the minute. I don’t like snow; you can’t hide or camouflage. I stick out like a green and purple target for anything watching. Somewhere within the forest the crack of a branch breaking echoes among the still woods. I freeze. My eyes dart around trying to scan every tree but I see nothing.

Another branch cracks in a tree closer to me. The pull is stronger than it has ever been, but instead of feeling like it’s coming from one direction I feel it all around me. It could be anywhere. The wind picks up and howls through the trees. My hair billows from my neck and sticks small purple strands to my pale face. I hear something and turn searching the area. Maybe, just maybe, it’s the wind. Maybe, I’m being paranoid and silly.

A foot crunches in the snow behind me. Not far behind. I can hear the pattern of walking towards me as I hear twigs snapping underfoot. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Maybe it’s an animal, although most animals are hibernating about now. I wrap the rope around my right arm clutching the ball with a tight knuckled fist. I wait, listening. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

My body is still and tense, I won’t let it know I’m aware it’s there until I can hit it. I make a point of never missing. Nightstalkers are pointless to run from, all I would do is lead it back to Lesedi. When they’re this close, you attack. And pray.

Warm air breathes against the back of my neck making the fine hairs stand on end. I loose the rope, spin around, and kick the ball launching it from my feet. Long gray fingers grab the ball stopping it in midair.

I gasp. He reached forwards and grabs my rope. Quicker than I can react he yanks the rope forwards pulling me along with it. My body flings towards him like a sling shot. The gray arms move in a speedy blur grabbing my wrists and pinning them to my sides. In two breaths I’m disarmed and immobilized.

He pauses, I know its him, the same one from the woods that helped me. It’s difficult most of the time to tell nightstalkers apart, but this is him. I can feel it in my bones and when his hands grip my wrists, I can feel tingly pops along my skin. He’s what I’ve been looking for. He’s what I’ve been pulled toward. But why?

We lock eyes, I stare into those creepy red eyes, they look like crimson orbs sunken into his face. Whenever I’ve seen a nightstalker, to me it looked like their eyeballs were bleeding. No white of the eye, only solid red with a circle of darker scarlet in the middle. Alone among the shades of red is a narrow black oval with sharp ends for a pupil. He stands taller than me by a head, I have to crane my neck to look up at him, I’m not used to doing that. He hunches his shoulders bending forwards and craning his neck down until our eyes are at the same level.

Our faces are less than a handspan apart. This would be the point where he’s supposed to rip my throat out with his teeth or something. But he doesn’t, he stays still staring into my eyes. I frown as I realize, I’m not afraid of him. I’m brave but even I’m afraid of nightstalkers, I was terrified when we were running for our lives through the woods. Why am I not afraid now? I’m not even angry, hateful, or violent towards him at all. If anything, I want to continue staring into those powerful red eyes forever. None of this makes any sense.

His fingers release my wrists in soft slow motions. He raises a freakish long gray hand to my cheek and runs the tip of his black claw down my face. I gasp again. Pin points of shocking sensations follow his finger until it falls away from my chin.

His voice is breathy and deep with the sounds of a smile. “Oh. How interesting you are.” There’s almost a chuckling undertone.

Of all things, I smile. “I remember you.”

His thin lips peel back into a jagged toothed grin. He nods. “The woods.” That voice. Shivers shake down my spine.

How could it be him again? Of all places here? Had he been tracking me? My mind races with questions and yet for some reason I can only ask a single word. “Why?”

I look at his sharp features, and those eyes. The strange calculating eyes. He drops his hand to his side and takes a step back. “You.”

I shake my head. “I-I don’t understand.”

The snowfall is thickening and falling in fat clumps now instead of delicate flakes. They fall on his shaggy shoulder length hair and gather in his downed black hood. I try to shake sense into myself. What am I doing? Am I actually enamored with this, this, I can’t even bring myself to call him it. Grayskin.

“I need to get back to my family.” I turn to leave.

He takes back my left wrist and the shocks come again but this time I don’t gasp. Instead I smile while his firm grip sends spinning jolts up my arms. I bite my lip and pull my wrist away. Anger boils up in my chest and spreads like fire throughout my body. Not at him, at myself. This could be a trap, a distraction to keep me at bay while my family is attacked. I need to leave; all good sense says to leave. I raise my foot and kick his left shin. He flinches and pulls back releasing my wrists. I ball up my fist and throw a punch straight into his chest, the kind that broke Gret Dendbar’s rib. Then I turn and run.

Laughter. Not the sickening cruel laughter from the hunters. Genuine laughter, like I just told him a funny joke. I can’t help but look behind me. He’s doubled over laughing his heart out. What? It’s a sight so ridiculous and surreal that it just makes me angry. I stomp back over to him. What am I doing? I could run away, but not with a nightstalker mocking me like this.

My anger blazes. “What’s so funny?!”

He laughs more taking in deep breaths with his thin stomach shaking. I throw my hands into the air; I don’t believe this. He tries to regain his composure, his thinly framed chest heaves in labored breaths. His long wiry arms wrap around his lanky stomach. Tears squeeze from his eyes while he howls with amusement. He laughs harder than I have ever imagined a nightstalker could. After taking several deep breaths he brings himself back from the fit of hilarity and calms his trembling body.

He lets out one more chuckle with a small grin. “You are.”

I cross my arms with a powerful glare. He suppresses a snort and a giggle. “I never thought that when I finally found you, you would hit me.” He falls into another fit of laughter.

My hands move to my hips, I stomp my foot with impatience. “Enough! I need to get back to my family.”

He brushes his long hands through his white hair and casually dismisses the comment. “Your family is fine. The area is clear.”

I furrow my eyebrows with confusion. “I don’t understand. You protected me. Why?”

The wind gusts through, snow sprinkles from the bare branches above. He pulls the cloak around himself covering his gray body. The thick black cloak sweeps across his bare feet. He directs a momentary glare to the falling snow and growls with irritation shuffling away. It’s truly bizarre to see this candid moment of a terrible monster trying to stay away from snowflakes. He turns his attention back to me with eyes locked on me like a target.

“You have not realized it?” That deep raspy voice sends shivers through my bones like a cold wind.

I crinkle my nose. “Realize what?”

He takes a step towards me but I flinch and pull away. “I know you saw it too. When we met.”

My mind drifts back. Blue. Everything flashing with those exploding colors. Spinning. All those weird sensations. Of course, I saw it too, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. “I- I uh, I don’t know.”

He straightens his posture puffing out his chest. “Yes, you do. You are my harbinger.”

I frown and turn to leave. “Look, I don’t know what in the name of Father Sky that is, but I need to go.”

He shrugs. “Fine. Leave. If you can.”

What? I step past him to pick up my meteor hammer from the ground. After he had caught the ball, he just dropped it like it was a dumb rock. He stands still letting me retrieve my weapon. I keep eyes locked on him while wrapping the rope back up and clipping it into place on my belt. With my weapon secure, I throw my caution away and bolt into an awkward run. But I don’t get far before I start feeling sick. Nausea rises in my stomach and I feel like I ate something awful. I keep trying to run. My head is spinning now. What’s happening? I feel the pull in the back of my neck leading back towards him. My symptoms get stronger the farther away I get. I stop, rage filling me.

I turned around and yell. “What did you do?!”

He’s again laughing at me, but with better control this time. He approaches me with surprising grace, I never realized how poised nightstalkers can be. He moves with such fluidity it looks like he floats above the snow. I now understand I only heard his footsteps earlier because he wanted me to. I stand still while he moves towards me like some kind of predatory bird, he stops in front of me but it’s more like he landed. He reaches out with motions smooth like swimming in water and takes my hands in his. My breathing quickens, it feels like his hand is touching straight through me. Cold and warm at the same time, shocks of both pain and pleasure shoot from my skin deep into my body.

He speaks with a deep steady voice that carries a hint of growl. “You left without sealing the bridge.” Before I have the chance to finish raising my eyebrows, he pulls me in close, I expect him to kiss me. But he doesn’t. He pauses with our lips a short breath apart and waits for me to close the gap. I try to fight it, but I can’t. Every impulse in my body screams to kiss him and I’ve never been one to successfully fight my impulses. Pushing into him I kiss him with all the fiery passion in my blood.

My mind flashes blue and then explodes with the familiar colors again. My eyes feel hot, like they’ll burn from my skull. Fire twists away from my lips down into my chest. Pins and needles tear down my legs and my knees feel like they’ll fall out from under me. I feel like the entire world is falling away leaving us spinning in a void that’s all ours. Then his lips part from mine.

I stare into his eyes with comprehension and accept what just happened. My voice has been weakened to a soft whisper. “Bond mates.”

He smiles. “Your name?”

I blink with shock and shake my head with a gasping whisper. “Talea.”

“Talea.” He almost growls while speaking it. “A beautiful creature. A beautiful name.”

I step back turning my face back into a frown. “It means make any move to hurt me or my family and I’ll pluck out your eyes.”

He stifles a chuckle. “How fearsome.” Was that sarcasm? I thought bond mates are supposed to be this awe-inspiring passionate love. He’s just aggravating. “I am Othin.”

I pull myself out of his arms and the sensations mercifully fall away. I can breathe a little more evenly now and think a bit more. “I need to get back to my family. Are you going to follow me? Because if so, I’ll have to kill you now.”

He shakes his head suppressing another chuckle. “No. I will not follow to your family. But I will see you again.”

I turn around and walk away. “Fat chance. I’m not walking into that trap.”

He doesn’t pursue me; he just calls out from behind like a dark echo. “I could show you the hills. They are beautiful under the blue moon when it snows.”

I stop dead in my tracks. Moon? I’ve never seen the night and I’ve always wanted to. The longing howls from my stomach and I try my best to resist the temptation. I can hear Lesedi’s voice in my head scolding me. I can hear words of warning from Wren. From Trigan. Look at what we had just been through; Near death, family endangerment, and heartache. I try to keep walking, to pull myself away. But at that moment it’s an opportunity I can’t pass up regardless of the risk.

The longing burns through me and I can’t fight it. I can’t. I turn around with a smirk plastered on my face. “Alright. But I will not meet you at my home. I don’t want you getting any bright ideas about where I live and harming my family.”

He raises his hands into the air. “Understood. Where then?”

I think for a moment. I want to be far away from the woods if I’m going to meet this unsavory fellow; far from his territory. It’ll have to be somewhere out in the open where I can spot a trap, but having cover for me to hide. A place comes to mind.

North of my family farm in the hillside is a large rock wall, like a small mountain. A river runs by its base with large rocks lining the sides. Concealed by brush is an abandoned yar burrow, at least it was the last time I saw it. I hope it still is.

I summon any confidence I can find. “Soleena perch, it’s a rocky face north west of here. A river runs at its bottom with lots of rock and brush.”

He nods. “I know the place. Tomorrow night?”

I grit my teeth. So soon after returning home? I’ll be home one night before risking my life all over again.

“Yes.” The word slips from my lips without permission.

He smiles. “Then I will see you tomorrow night. I have a world to show you.”

With that he pulls his dark hood over his head and his eyes disappear into shadow. He turns around with his cloak billowing like a dark thunder cloud and walks into the forest. The snow falls around him like a wall of white. Once the flakes touch the flowing black cloak they melt, like a darkness consuming the light. I shudder. Consequences. There are consequences for every action whether they are good or bad. A nervous flutter passes through my stomach. What will my consequences be?

I run back the way I came but it’s difficult, my feet keep sinking into the building snow and my vision is blurring with all the flakes flying into my face. After an annoying amount of effort, I burst through the brush.

Alaric waves me over from his place on the wagon. “Come on! They’re fine now!”

I rush over and leap up into the wagon. My nose is bright red from chill and I can see my shallow breaths in the air. “Did you see what spooked them?”

Lesedi shakes her head. “No, but I was able to calm them down. They were really worked up though. They must’ve sensed something.” Lesedi reaches her hand over to mine and squeezes tight. Her voice is quiet and calm. “Did you spot any nightstalkers?”

I pause and gulp, my mind drifting back to the surreal interaction. That voice, those eyes, the touch, that kiss. The bond. My world will never be the same from now forwards.

“No.” I shake my head taking in a nervous breath. “Not a single soul. I guess they decided to sleep through the snow.”

Lesedi hums and frowns. She gives me a familiar look. I know that look. She knows I’m lying.

✽✽✽

“Talea! Lesed!” The shrill squeaky scream nearly prompts us to cover our ears. Zoey runs out into the snow barefoot wearing her blue nightdress. She doesn’t even notice the cold. A little pink bow clips into a small tuft of hair above her left ear, but falls out during her wild flailing run. She leaps into the air like a howler jumper and hurls herself onto Lesedi and I. “You’re alive!” Another piercing shriek of ecstasy.

Alaric clears his throat. “Uh hum. Your brother here.”

Zoey turns her head refusing to let go of our necks while her toes kick at our torsos. Her big pale eyes glare at Alaric. “Don’t be selfish. I saw you two days ago.”

We laugh and unpack the wagon as fast as possible so Erian can get home. I grab Zoey by her spindly little arms and move her onto my shoulders, she squeals while digging her fingers into my hair. I tickle her little bare toes. “You’re going to get sick out here like this.”

Zoey squirms and giggles “No. I’m not cold.” She digs her feet into my armpits.

As soon as our things are free of the wagon Erian leaves in a nervous hurry. “I wish I could stay to say farewell to your parents. But I really must get back.”

I nod. “We understand. The next time you make a trip to Gerafar let us know. We can all travel together.”

Erian smiles. “I would like that. I bet Ania and Bohdan would love the company. Good day. I wish the beams of sun and sky upon you.”

I watch the wagon rush away kicking up snow, she’ll travel much faster now unburdened by our extra weight. In no time she’s out of sight and out of our lives. It feels strange, I had become so accustomed to her presence in the past few weeks. I turn towards our home and see Wren holding Lesedi in her arms. Tears stream down her flushed cheeks. She pauses and looks up, sharing a look with me, her eyes are wet and shiny fixed into a hard stare. There’s a conversation ahead of me, I don’t look forward to it.

Alaric hauls the bags into his brawny arms. “We better get inside before we all get sick and that poor woman has to tend to us all over again.”

We all hustle into the warm home tracking in water, mud, and clumpy snow. As soon as everything is in the door is shut and locked up tight. Alaric drops the bags; they land against the floor with a thump. “We didn’t have all this when you got mauled. Where did you get all this?”

I look at our aunt and smirk. “Blame Wren. She insisted we feel at home and brought over practically everything we own. Not to mention Erian filling a crate with books for Lesedi to take home.”

Lesedi puts her hands on her hips with a defensive glare. “Erian has an extensive collection of medicinal books. I could learn something.”

I shrug. “Yeah but you’re not the one that lugged that heavy crate around, are you? Learn all you want from books but nothing will teach you how to pick up heavy objects. Not without using your sister as an orbig.”

Lesedi smirks. “Hey, if it’s what you’re good at.”

Wren laughs as we began to bicker. “We’ve missed you girls so much.”

Alaric sighs. “Thanks mom.”

Zoey leans backwards from my shoulders and hits Alaric in the back of the head. “Don’t be selfish. They almost died.” She holds onto the last word as long as she can for emphasis.

Alaric snorts. “I could have died too.”

“Fine. We missed you too.” Zoey rolls her eyes. “So needy.” She shakes her head swishing her fine tangled hair around as the breeze picks up. Without warning she kicks me in the arm to usher me forwards like her personal mount. I smile and laugh under my breath, she’s a random ball of crazy but I love this little girl. I grab the handles of the bags and dart away as quick as I can leaving Alaric to carry the heavy crate downstairs.

Our horde of a family heads down into our home stomping without care down Trigan’s meticulously maintained staircase. He didn’t even bark at us about picking up our feet. I smile with peace in my face breathing in the smell of the feast Wren has prepared for us. We turn the corner to behold the beautiful dining room in which so many meals have been shared. Zoey scurries down from my shoulders and scales down my long body like I’m a tree. She crawls up into a seat positioning herself between Lesedi and me. The little pale eyed girl is almost shaking with a manic excitement that makes her look like she might burst.

The feast spread before us is so massive, so magnificent, Wren must have been nervous cooking for days anticipating our arrival home. The table is so full of so many different foods we struggle to squeeze our plates in without them sticking off the edge. We haven’t had a feast like this in years, there will be leftovers for a week.

Trigan elbows Wren as he licks his lips staring wide eyed at the spread. “See Wren, it wasn’t ridiculous of me to build the extra-large larder. We’ll need it for all this food!”

A wave of giggles circles the room and is cut off with a call from Zoey. “Eat the beckleberry pie first! Eat the pie please!”

Wren shoots her a look. “I thought we prepared the pie for dessert sweetie.”

She shakes her head frowning at the food. “You made too much food mom! Nobody will have any room!”

The beautiful, tired eyed woman looks at her daughter with a look of yielding love and sighs. “Today is a special occasion. I think we should start by everyone having a slice of pie.”

Zoey’s eyes pop open further and her shoulders tremble. She shoots her hands above her head. “Yay!”

We all dig into the pie smearing our lips with shades of gooey purple. Aside from Wren making the crust Zoey baked it by herself, it’s the first thing she’s cooked to completion. Aside from a few eggshells in the filling it’s fantastic, they add an interesting crunch anyway. There’s so much geckle in it the sweetness punches us in the face.

Zoey slurps up her slice getting purple all over her face, including her ears somehow. “Yummy! I did good! Right mom?”

I see Wren swallow a slice while raising her eyebrows so hard it folds little wrinkles in her forehead. “Yes sweetie. Did you follow my instructions?”

“I added more geckle, it wasn’t sweet enough.” She slurps up another bite smiling so big purple goo slips from her lips to her plate.

Wren swallows hard to finish her slice. “Zoey, geckle gets sweeter as it cooks. Something raw will taste half as sweet as something cooked. It’s why we use less.”

She pauses looking concerned. “Does, does everybody hate it?”

Lesedi reaches over and pats Zoey’s hand. “Zoey, you did very good. We all like it, but next time follow Wren’s instructions and it’ll be even better. Ok?”

Zoey smiles and nods. I don’t know what they’re talking about, I think it’s delicious. I’ve already finished my slice and reach for another. Lesedi slides her plate towards me with only one bite taken out of it. “Here Talea, you can have the rest of mine.”

I smile full of greed and gulp down her slice. “Thanks!” I mumble through a mouth full of food. “Good job Zo!”

Lesedi frowns at me and tilts her head. “It’s that good to you? Really?”

I finish the second slice licking the purple from my lips. “Oh yeah, Wren’s pies are always so subtle on the flavor. This really kicks you in the face.” I look up at the faces filled with confusion from my family. “Is anybody else-” Before I can finish my sentence three more slices of pie arrive on my plate from everyone else.

While I gobble down the amazing sickening sweet pie, everyone else starts on dinner. The feast commences in earnest and the family catches us up on the last month we missed. Uncle Trigan took a trade trip to Gerafar and had a funny experience in the marketplace.

A man was selling kortles, little yellow climbers with a long tail and little six fingered hands on all four limbs. The man claimed they could warn a person to nearby nightstalkers. Of course, there’s no way to prove this without a nightstalker on hand. When a woman approached the man a little kortle leapt into her hair and burrowed into her big magenta curls. The woman screamed and broke into a frantic run flailing her arms at her head. This of course knocked down several market stalls and spilled goods all over the ground. Which caused the group of people following behind her to trip and fall forming a pile on top of each other. All while this woman was still shrieking and little yellow limbs cavorted in her hair. Soon the kortle became territorial of its new home and anyone who tried to remove it was met with barred teeth and vicious hissing. Which in turn panicked the woman more as she flailed more violently and started spinning in circles causing even more destruction. There was a series of desperate attempts to shoo the tiny beast. Eventually, a crowd formed offering fruit to her head trying to lure out the little yellow kortle.

“That kortle took out eight stalls!” Trigan pounds his fist on the table laughing while he wipes a tear from his eye. “She ended up having to buy it! The little thing went home with her!”

I picture that woman sitting at her dinner table with the kortle still in her hair and I can’t help but laugh. It feels nice, being with my family again. We managed to avert catastrophe by the skin of our teeth and here we are, together again. All of them are looking forward to the future as a family and all I can think of is that nightstalker I met. Othin. The pull towards him is so strong, I can’t fight it and I don’t want to.

Wren turns her head and locks eyes with me, she frowns almost as if she knows what I’m thinking. She and I have a rough talk ahead of us. I’m a danger to the family, I threaten our peace, I’ll destroy what they built. She’ll tell me again that all of my recklessness needs to stop. I know I’m dangerous and toxic and I’ll end up getting them hurt. But I can’t stop. I won’t.

This is who I am and I’m powerless against it. Which leaves us only one option. I have to leave.