Burning flames consumed the entirety of a village. Citizens scream and cry for mercy as the looming shadow of a dragon falls upon them. It unleashes another attack onto the village with its gaping mouth. Its breath was so hot that the cobblestone roads turned into molten rock. A small battalion of mages casted high-level magic, strong enough to part oceans and crack the entirety of Eden into two. However, none of offensive attacks could pierce the dragon’s thick scales. The beast of calamity brought it’s foot down and created a shockwave powerful enough to send the mages fleeing. All hope was lost as everyone fled the monster’s rampage.

Except for a single figure who stood before the hulking dragon. The dragon unleashed a breath attack directly onto to the mysterious man that remained standing. No damage was dealt. The man slowly walked forward creating a menacing aura around him.

Mysterious man:

After so many years, I finally find you. How are you, Demon Lord.

The man smiles at the beast as if unfazed by its appearance.

Demon Lord:

So you knew my true identity, adventurer. Would you like to indulge me by letting me know who dares to confront calamity itself.

Mysterious man:

That’s not important.

The man spoke sternly, sending a slight shiver down the Demon Lord’s spine. With single leap, the man jumped to meet the dragon’s gaze. The dragon steps back, sensing the massive well of energy that dwelled within the body of the human.

Mysterious man:

What’s really important….

{Defence check:FAILED}

Mysterious man:

IS THAT I’M GOING TO THROW UP ON YOUR FIERY ASS AND YOU’RE GOING TO LIKE IT!

A stream of disgusting colours escaped the man’s mouth. The sheer volume of the vomit was enough to flood entire towns and it’s force was strong enough split mountains in half. The Demon Lord gasped in fear as the pressure of the fluid cut a perfect hole through it’s resilient body. The Demon Lord fell down defeated as the mysterious man landed on top of its carcass. He looked up towards the clear skies and the sunlight revealed his true form. A teenage boy with large bags under his eyes stood upon the behemoth, wearing his favourite black hoodie. He felt unstoppable in that moment. As if he could not be beaten. As if no one could challenge his might and live to tell the tale. He felt—

Silver:

WAKE UP, LAZY!

Cold water splashed onto Aaron’s face, waking him up from his sleep. Aaron’s eyes slowly readjusted and focused onto the white haired girl who’s face was on top of him.

Silver:

ITS 12 P.M. AND AND YOU FORCED ME TO GO ADVENTURING WITH YOU AGAIN REMEMBER!!!

Aaron groggily stands up from the couch he was sleeping on in Silver’s house. He see’s Silver pouting at him but he pays no heed. A single tear falls from his eyes as he buries his face into his hands.

Silver:

Wait..… are you crying?

Aaron:

Not even in my dreams huh..……WHY CAN’T I EVER HAVE ANY COOL POWERS!!!

Silver and the now broken Aaron leave two story wooden house that Aaron was “invited” to stay the night in. They walk through the streets of the crowded town and reach the wooden doors of the adventurer’s guild. There they sit down and have their breakfast

Aaron slowly twirls his fork on his plate and supports his head with his hand as he thinks. Silver happily stuffs food that she had bought into her mouth without care.

Aaron:

Hmmmmm. So you actually do like adventuring with me.

Silver:

And what makes you think that, Mr.Blackmail.

Aaron:

Well you woke me up instead of just not going adventuring today.

Silver:

I need to make money somehow, and the clothes in my closet would have been soiled if I left you in there alone.

Aaron:

Fair point.

The two nonchalantly talk as if they were used to the flow of these conversations, even though one of them was forced into this partnership. As Aaron ate his plate of potatoes, he notices a hazel haired girl snooping around the guild. She wore what looked to be some form of religious clothing and held a sceptre that encased a blue gem on one end. First she leaned on a nearby wall, then she sat at the table behind Silver, soon she started to pace around the two adventurer’s table.

Aaron:

Hey Silver, what’s your opinion on browned haired girls?

Silver:

They’re ok. Why do you ask?

Aaron stared at the hazel haired girl who sat next to Silver, practically squishing her face to try insert herself in the conversation.

Aaron:

No reason.

The two, or should I say three, continued their meal in silence. No words were spoken and the hazel haired girls existence was ignored

Aaron:

Alright fine… who are you?

Hazel haired girl:

Oh, me! I’m Nia!

Nia quickly tried to shoot up from her seat, but in doing so she ended throwing Silver’s plate of grilled cabbage into the air.

Nia:

I’m a super strong cleric who can cast all sorts of status buffing and healing magic!

Multiple pieces of cabbages fell on to Nia’s face as she held one hand in the air as if to show her magnificence. Aaron remained unfazed as her stylish introduction was ruined by the raining vegetables while Silver sat on the ground mourning the lost of her food.

Aaron:

And why is that important?

Nia:

Because I want to join your party!

Aaron:

I see…. what’s your price exactly?

Nia:

There’s no catch or price, I just want to join your party!

Aaron:

Why did you come to us?

Nia:

Because I was looking for a pair of trustworthy adventurers who would always have my back!

Aaron:

Exactly, so why did you come to us?

Nia sighed and loss all enthusiasm in her voice.

Nia:

All the other groups made fun of me after wolves kept on pooping on me so I was ostracised from their parties….. I assumed that this would have been the only group that would have accepted me since the same thing happened to you.

“Is that incident REALLY that popular?”

Aaron:

Ah…… well, my team could do with a support and healer so I don’t see why you can’t join. Right, Silver?

Silver:

don’t do it Nia.

Silver looks Nia in the eyes. Nia sees nothing but black horror due to the monstrosity she’s seen. A face filled with regret and agony of the trials she had to suffer through. Silver had a PTSD like flashback of her being blackmailed to join Aaron’s team.

Nia:

hehehheheheh, it should be fine….right?

Aaron:

Her opinion doesn't matter anyways.

Nia sweats profusely after hearing Silver’s warning while Aaron simply shrugs it off and leads the group to the outskirts of the town.

The trio walk through the rolling hills and reach the secluded area Aaron and Silver had fought monsters in previously. They set down their items and prepare for battle. Aaron draws his sword, Nia holds her sceptre up and Silver pulls otut her shield

Nia:

Sooooo, the team is 1 defence, 1 offence and 1 support. It looks like I was the perfect fit for the party then!

Aaron:

Actually its 2 offence and 1 support.

Nia:

What do you mean? Silver over there has a shield. How can she—

Silver:

I FOUND YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!

Nia:

Oh…

Silver darts off into a bush. The body of slime is briefly tossed upwards and quickly brought back down to get wailed on.

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

Aaron:

Yeah, you get used to it…

“Nia’s point on the team composition is fair though. I could alternatively be a 2nd line fighter and mostly focus on enemies that pass Silver’s range and protect Nia. I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but theres someone here with an actual brain cell! Cris hasn’t given up on me! Note to self: If this harem thing works out, then Nia will be best girl.”

Another slime comes to the area and slowly moves to Aaron.

Aaron:

Ok, new team comp, I just attack those that pass Silver.

Aaron charges the slime and Nia raises her sceptre and casts a spell.

Nia:

By the strength of the holy light, I cast HASTE!!

Aaron’s body lightens up allowing him to speed up his movement. The short sword nimbly cuts through the slime twice causing it to dissolve into puddle of glue

{-4HP}

{-4HP}

Aaron:

Woah, i'm so much lighter now! Magic seems like something I should pick up since my intelligence is high enough--

A wild wolf pounces straight towards Aaron. Aaron screams, but just as it almost reaches his face, the wolf seems to perfectly space around him and land directly on Nia.

Aaron:

huh?

Nia:

AHHHHHH!!!! HELPPP MEEEE!!! AAAROONN!! AHHHHH ITS SCRUNCHING ITS FACE! ITS GONNA POOP ON ME! ITS GONNA POOOP ON MEEEEE! AAAAARRRRRRRONN.

Aaron:

WOOAAAAH WOOAH!! NIA HOLD ON THERE’S EVEN MORE COMING!!

2 wolves, 3 blue slimes and a red slime run at Aaron who starts swinging his sword randomly and wildly.

Aaron:

TAKE THIS YOU LITTLE SHITS!

Aaron slashes his sword but only hits a single slime as the other monsters run past him and straight to Nia. The monsters gang up on the poor cleric who gets pulled to the ground by the beasts.

{-2HP}

{-2HP}

{-2HP}

Nia:

THEY'RE TEARING MY CLOTHESSSSSS!!!!! AAAARROOOONNNNNNN!!! SILLVEEEERRRRR!!!!

“All the monsters are only attacking her!!!”

Silver comes out from the bush that she had turned into her personal murder hut. She sees the scene and her demonic expression twists and deforms.

“Yes! Silver’s actually paying attention to the healer who needs help. She’s learning to become an actual defender!”

Silver:

OH. SO YOU’RE THE BITCH WHO’S BEEN STEALING ALL MY KILLS!!!!

“I really need to stop getting my hopes up when it comes to this party……”

Silver lands blows with her shield onto the pile of monsters that is now Nia. Amongst the pile of blue text that appears. A small red text box appears as well.

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

Nia:

OWWW!! YOU’RE HITTING ME ALSOOOO!! AHHHHHHH!! SILLLLVER STOPPPP!!! AAAAAAAARONNN DOOOO SOMMMMMEEEEETHINGGGGG!!

Aaron:

SILVER! ONLY HIT THE MONSTERS NOT OUR TEAMMATE YOU DUMBASS!!

Silver:

IF THE FUCKER HAS BEEN HOGGING ALL THESE KILLS FROM ME, THEN SHE’S A MONSTER IN MY EYES!!!

The scene becomes a frenzy as the two weapon wielders attempt to free the trapped cleric from her prison. After an eternity, the dog pile ended with a crying hazel haired girl curled up between 2 exhausted adventurers.

(Writer’s note: Get it! “dog-pile”, and its full of wolves. heh)

Nia sulked in her stained and tattered religious outfit as the 2 adventurers pick up their loot for the day. Nia had used magic to heal her wounds and restore some HP to the party, but it was not enough to heal her mental trauma. During this short break, Aaron thinks to himself.

“Note to self: Delete that best girl memo from before. How the hell has she survived this long! What the hell about her makes monster want to beat the shit out of her. Yes, she whines like a bitch, but monsters don’t know that!”

Suddenly, a large shadow loomed over Aaron. The girls faces dropp to shock and disbelief at the sight they were greeted with. Aaron was unaware of the situation.

Aaron:

Silver, how much wolf pelt did you collect, I got 3. I think I saw 5 wolves trying to eat Nia but I don’t know….

Nia:

Uh-h-h-h-hh, Aaron…

Aaron:

What is it?

Aaron turned around and witnessed a gigantic beast in front of him. A blue slime that was multiple stories tall stood before the teenager. There floating in the centre of the blue masses, was Silver helplessly floating around.

Aaron:

fuck

The slime stretched out a bit of its gel into a makeshift arm and encapsulated Aaron. Aaron floated his way next to Silver

Aaron:

How the hell did this thing get here!

Silver:

I don’t know! I was just stroking my shield then this bad guy came out and headed straight for Nia!.

“WHAT THE HELL ABOUT THAT CLERIC GIRL MAKES MONSTERS WANT HER SO BADLY. The two fighters are down and only the support is left! Nia is going to have to pull some sort of miracle to save our asses!”

The sensation of an acidic burn falls over Aaron as red texts appears next to him

{-1HP}

{-1HP}

Nia hugs her staff and cowers as the monster moves closer to her. The monster looms over the minuscule girl in tattered religious clothing who quivers in fear.

“But on the bright side! I’ve seen enough hentai to know where this is going. AND I GET TO WATCH IT FIRST HAND NOW!”

Aaron gives out a slight smile at the thought of the possible future developments of this scenario. Meanwhile, Silver looks at the rogue unamused as she's able to guess his thought process.

Nia:

It looks like you’ve forced my hand.

Nia suddenly stands up with a new found resolve.

Her sceptre starts to glow. The radiant light shines bright enough to illuminate the entire forest. The two trapped adventurers shield their eyes as immense power builds up in the shining blue gem.

Nia:

By the power of the goddess of life, Cris herself, I swell the power of nations into this gem! Her grace must forgive me for I shall end this beings life before its intended departure. I pray that this lost soul is guided towards the light, so that it may learn the error of its ways and reach salvation. So, with the blessing of the all powerful one above..

Magic flows around Nia forming swirls of radiant patterns and strong gusts of wind that clear the area of any debris. Symbols appear and emanate from the shining gem on the sceptre. Nia finishes of her decleration with a loud shout and swings at the monstrous slime.

Nia:

…I CONDEMN THEE TO THE AFTER LIFE!

The glowing sceptre releases its stored up energy creating a blinding explosion of light and holy energy. The flash of the brightness dissipates and the aftermath of the attack is clear.

Nia missed.

Nia:

You know what? The outcome Aaron is thinking about doesn’t sound so bad now.

The sheepishly smiling cleric was quickly gobbled up by the slime in an instant. The cleric slowly floats her way to meet the disappointed duo.

Aaron:

It’s the size of a building. And you missed it.

Nia starts to tear up due to her own failure.

Aaron:

Oh yeah, one more important question for you Nia. HOW THE HELL DO WE GET OUT OF THIS. WE CAN’T DEAL ANY DAMAGE FROM IN HERE!

Aaron floats around trying to rack his brain for any ideas.

“Usually the Isekai protagonist would come up with some serious meta-game strategy that breaks the system. BUT I HAVE NO CLUE THIS GAMES RULE SYSTEM IS! HOW WAS THIS WORLD BALANCED TO ALLOW A BOSS TO SPAWN IN THE NOOB-ZONE!”

Silver:

Guys! I have a plan!

Silver beams with joy and quickly floats to Aaron to explain it.

Aaron:

Really? I never knew you had some sort of organ inside that skull of yours—

Aaron’s sentence was interrupted with a punch to the gut from Silver’s hand

{-6HP}

{Defence Check:FAILED}

Aaron used {Projectile Vomit}

{Status effect:Resolve Down}

A puddle of orang and green liquids jumps out of Aaron's mouth. The throw up floated in the slimes gelatinous body. Aaron hold onto his stomach in pain.

Aaron:

I do not like this plan..

Silver:

If we can bring its resolve down far enough, it'll leave us!

Aaron:

CAN'T WE USE A LESS PAINFULL METHOD--

Another blow landed onto his stomach

{-6HP}

{Defence Check:FAILED}

Aaron used {Projectile Vomit}

{Status effect:Resolve Down}

Silver:

Its resolve hasn't gone down enough, we need more!

Aaron

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT--

{-6HP}

{Defence Check:FAILED}

Aaron used {Projectile Vomit}

{Status effect:Resolve Down}

{-6HP}

{Defence Check:FAILED}

Aaron used {Projectile Vomit}

{Status effect:Resolve Down}

Nia:

ITS COMMMINGG AT MMMEEEEEEE!! THE VOMIT IS MAKING ITS WAYY TO MEEEEE!!

Aaron mustered up words in between regurgitations. By this point his vomit was starting to look like blood.

Aaron:

YOUR SUDDENLY FINE WITH DEALING MORE DAMAGE WITHOUT A SHIELD WHEN ITS TO ME!!

{-6HP}

{Defence Check:FAILED}

Aaron used {Projectile Vomit}

{Status effect:Resolve Down}

Silver:

I don't want to get your vomit all over its hard frame. It could get sick and would ruin its sexy body!

{-6HP}

{Defence Check:FAILED}

Aaron used {Projectile Vomit}

{Status effect:Resolve Down}

Aaron:

ITS A FUCKING SHIELD!!

Suddenly a large vibration could be felt throughout the slimes body. The party of adventurers were thrown out of the slime as it left the group out in the field. The team was covered in a viscous liquid making them smell horrible and look as if the 2 girls had done questionable things. Aaron curled up on the floor having thrown up all of his organs. He lookedup from he fetal position and observed his two teammate. Silver was paying more attention to her shield thanshe was paying attention to the pummeled rouge and Nia was crying in the corner.

"I need new teammates"

By the time dusk had arrived, the team had made it back to the Adventurer's guild without any energy left. Their appearance made everyone look at the group with disgust

"Its going to be difficult to convince anyone here to make a new party with me since the party looks like this. Any team with a girl in it is definetly out because the two females in my current party look like they came straight out of a hentai episode. No hardened adenturer is that desperate to take me in so I'll need to look for some noobs to tag along with"

Aaron looked around from the table he was sat at. Silver was eating in front of him despite her horrible smell while Nia was using magic to help clean off some goop. Aaron spotted a group who looked like low level adventurers having a fun conversation.

"Alright, no better target I guess....."

Aaron left his seat but was quickly stopped by Silver.

Silver:

Are you about to go blackmail someone else now?

Aaron:

I'm contemplating it.

Nia:

Wait, what do you mean?

Aaron continued his journey as Silver had to explain to Nia how she got roped together with Aaron.

Aaron:

Hey guys, you're new adventurers right!

Noob:

Yup, today was our first time as a group!

Aaron observed the groups dynamics. There was a huge barbarian looking guy, a short girl with a bow who looked to be an archer, and someone who wore the same clothes as Nia, just less destroyed. The person he spoke with wore a wizards robe.

Aaron:

Your team looks like it could do with a secondary meelee fighter. I'd be happy to fill the role!

The group looked at each and gave a mixed face.

Noob:

You're in the same group as Nia right?

Aaron:

Yeah, but I'm looking for a new team to party up with.

Noob:

I'm sorry, but someone has to take her.

Aaron:

huh? What do you mean...

There was a long discussion between Aaron and the mage. Aaron walked back to his table staring intently at Nia from behind while Silver was still in her explanation.

Silver:

....and so I had to let him sleep in my house because--

{Dexterity Check:SUCCESS}

Aaron:

Nia, I'm borrowing this.

Aaron pulled out Nia's adventurer's card and looked at it.

Nia:

WAIT! HOLD ON NO NO NO NO NO!!

Full name: Nia Fiel

Class: Cleric

Strength:10

Dexterity:10

Defence:12

Intelligence:13

Charisma:16

Luck:-99

Skill/Spells: Heal, Haste, Haze, Divine Punishment {press for more Skill/Spells}.

Proficiencies: Staffs, Religious items

.

.

.

Luck:-99

Aaron looked at the number which caused his face to twitch. Nia nervously touched her pointer fingers together while trying to avoid Aaron's gaze.

Aaron remembered the conversation he had with the noob

Aaron:

huh? What do you mean

Noob:

Nia's been trying to force all the new groups to join her. But no one wants to due to her luck stat. So I'm really sorry but we need one person to sort of keep her happy for now. I'm really really sorry

Aaron:

Her luck stat? What's wrong with it?

Noob:

Its a negative number

Aaron:

wat

Noob:

Yeah..... she's always been unlucky... people have even started to stay away from people who talk with just incase it rubs off on them.

Aaron looked at Nia and the confused Silver.

"It all makes sense now. The monsters being lured to her. Her attacks missing. A boss spawning in a low level area. ITS BECAUSE OF THIS STAT!"

Nia:

Just wait a second. I CAN EXPLAIN--

Aaron:

Did a wolf actually shit on you, thus forcing you to join us.

Nia looked down and lost all spirit in her voice.

Nia:

no

Aaron:

Did you know that we would not be accepted by any other parties after you joined

Nia:

yes

Aaron:

Did you know that all the monsters would come out because of your shitty luck

Nia:

Not exactly but I had a sneaking suspicion

Silver piped up after looking at the depressed cleric

Silver:

What's wrong Aaron, its not her fault that those monsters came to us.

Aaron passed Silver the adventurer's card and her face fell instantly

Silver:

Since when did stats go to negative numbers...

Silver quickly joined Aaron's side of the scolding

Silver:

So you're saying that I can't leave you guys for a better team because she joined us.

Aaron:

Yes.

Nia:

That doesn't reaaaaaallllllly matter .... right? We're best friends ......yeah?

Silver and Aaron left Nia there. They immediately walked out of the guild into the dark streets as fast they could.

Silver:

You know what Aaron..... I'll let you stay at my house. You're not that bad of a person compared to the thrash we just spoke.........

Silver spoke with a tremble in her voice. Having lost all hopes in life she decided that nothing really mattered any more. Aaron replied in a similar tone.

Aaron:

I'll help around the house with cooking and cleaning to make sure that I won't be as useless as that cleric..... I'm sorry I blackmailed you into letting me stay. Truth be told, I actually don't have any rogue friends to steal your belonging, or any friends at all........ I'm sorry I stooped to Nia's level back then.

Silver:

It's okay, no one can actually stoop to Nia's level.....

Nia came running after them from behind.

Nia:

Can I come along too! I wouldn't mind a place to sleep at!

Aaron:

A bitch like you needs to sleep in the outdoors where all your religious studies would go to waste as monsters bang you all night.

Silver pulls off the shield from her back.

Silver:

A motherfucking dipshit like you should run away before I help Aaron rape the fuck out of your asshole

Nia:

*sniff* you don't mean that...... right *Sniff*

Both Aaron and Silver:

I'm sorry, but who's the one who's just doomed our future........

Their eyes glow red as they stared down the cleric in tattered clothing. The hazel haired girl cries as she runs away from the two adventurers. Silver and Aaron head back to Silver's house after a long day.