Not a chapter... it's a rant

This is a rant about the recent review I had received for this story.

Rather than inspired it's more like plagiarized Posted date:05/11/15 Current date: 07/11/15 By (wanna see the name… go to the story page it is right there for all to see)

Quote:"Style: It’s lazy plain and simple. Author avoids explaining the technology used in the novel instead writing “blah blah blah.” There’s been almost as many polls as there are chapters. Yeah it’s “reader interactive,” but asking the readers where to take the novel every chapter is a little too interactive, and tells me that the author doesn’t want to bother thinking about it. Nearly everything else about the story has been pulled from VRDraco’s work.

Story: Author says he/she was “inspired” by VRDraco’s story however it’s more like plagerized than inspired. Mute MC? Check. Little sister? Check. Popular girl destroys MC’s life? Check. Clockwork body? Check. Multi-tool? Check. Even the starting in the wasteland, and how they progress is almost identical. Some of these things may seem like petty similarities, but it’s the little things that build up the depth of the novel, and here there are far, far too may little things that are identical to VRDraco’s work.

Having a mute MC is acceptable, so long as he’s stays mute throughout the story. Otherwise that’ll be another similarity. Everything up until the MC became a clockwork could have been different. The fact that it’s almost the same as “Clockwork” shows us more of the Author’s laziness. When we actually get to the clockwork part we get more identical details like the muli-tool, the steam engine, corrupted data in their heads, and a broken body. What really did it here was that the Author used the same terms that VRDraco used. The Author couldn’t even be bothered to try to find different terminology and rewrite the process in his or her own words.

Also it’s a little unbelievable that Grey has no friends. Yeah he’s mute, but the level of discrimination you described in your story is a bit much considering the time we live in. Then there’s the fact that his sister didn’t know his name until she was five. What is this? Are you telling me his parents don’t even call his name? You understand the difference between deaf and mute right? This detail right here is completely unbelievable especially since from what little you described of the MC’s parent’s they seemed to be average caring people, and this screams neglect.

Grammer: Average for this site.

Characters: Not much to say here since we’ve barely seen anyone besides the MC. I will say that it appears he lives in a shitty community that severely looks down on those with disabilities. Unrealistic if you ask me. Besides that the MC seems like a cool guy. He’s really the only thing original about this novel. The AI is the only other character to have any detail, and she’s seems like an asshole. Really you’d think that the first thing you’d do to a severely injured teen after hooking him up to a VR machine is explain the situation, so he/she doesn’t freak out. Instead it’s like no one cares, and just let’s the AI do whatever to the MC. Seriously what kind of hate filled community does he live in?

There’s also the part about him rebuilding his clockwork body healing his real body. Another process skimmed over by the author. Not that an explanation would help it make anymore sense. I get the feeling that the author was trying to copy “Ark” where they use the VR for rehab treatment, but healing nerve damage and healing the body are two different things. Though the MC’s injuries were never described it still wouldn’t help heal his physical body any faster than modern medicine.

My advice would be to rewrite this from scratch, and actually put some effort into it.

If you are going to plagiarize at least try and be subtle about it."

Alright, three chapters in and a review. The frequent polls are due to my lack of a direction to move the story in. At one point in time I had it mapped out but upon my father’s death, in my grief and rage I threw out my story board. I am 18 working full time to support myself because my mother disowned me and crippled me and my father financially. Oh, but “in the time we live in”, I took that bullied part right out of my life. Also to top it off, I only had a friend till he sold me out like I didn’t even matter. I am treated like a human slave at my job, almost every IT guy is… and honestly, even now when I come to this site, or whenever I see the words royal or road it brings tears to my eyes due to its relation to my dad. Oh ant to make things better, I don’t even have a chance to go to college anymore because it was either be homeless or get a job… which would you choose. OH and here is the best part: I’M EVEN DENIED A PORTION OF MY INHERETANCE BY THE GOVERNMENT AND EVEN MORE IS TAKEN OUT FROW WHAT IS LEFT BECAUSE MY “MOTHER” SUED TO GRAB HALF OF THE REMAINING MONEY! AND SHE WON!

Yes, I have a similar start to VRDraco’s Clockwork, but I didn’t want it to be that in one or two chapters he is suddenly a machine god rivaling deus-ex-machina or something like that. I would rather have a slow and thought out progression rather than be worried about whether I am infringing on copyrights. I AM NO PROFESSIONAL WRITER! But even professional writers started somewhere, and honestly there are only a few differences to VRDraco’s Clockwork BUT AGAIN there are only THREE chapters out in my story when this review was posted.

One: He is the only ‘player’ also the VR pod is experimental, so it could possibly heal him and is hypothesized, just that Chelsey mistook it as he WOULD be. BUT YOU DON’T KNOW THAT!

Two: Mana tech, VRDraco is just delving into it, where as I start out with it. Did I make a giant reforming mana turret that was developed in one of VRDraco’s recent chapters NO! Does he have a mana sword NO, oh but wait these are small details…

Three: The interactive AI Chelsey, is there an interactive AI in the Clockwork? NOPE!

Four: Is the starting base essentially a dungeon holding unknown technology?

VW: YES | Clockwork: NOPE!

Now to characters. AGAIN three chapters are out, THREE, THREEEEEEEEEEEE CHAPTERS. So no there wouldn’t be much in the department of characters… and those that are there… well in three chapters can I, a beginning writer, make a magnificent unicorn farting a rainbow type of character and have you believe it could work in the story… NOPE!

Oh, p.s. modern medicine… they are 3D printing organs and skin that biologically sync to the recipient and they can print it down to the exact replica of the way the blood vessels grew which is, in fact, different in every human.

Also about not explaining the technology in the story that isn’t important at all, I am writing this story in what little spare time that I have. I don’t have the time to do an extensive research on the technology that would be behind it. I am not intending to be lazy, I DON’T HAVE THE TIME.

Also about Gray’s Sister calling his name. I hate to say it but what do you know about his family… maybe there is more depth that would be revealed in the future. This is why I hate reviews or the fact you can do them 3 GODDAMN CHAPTERS INTO A STORY!

Personally I don’t review a work until it is finished to avoid this sort of thing from happening… also helps to not piss the author off.

I would like to be friends with you but clearly you judge a book before you are 4 chapters in, and honestly, I don’t want that sort of a friend.