《Unknown Past》Volume 1 Chapter 5: The Illusion of Trust, Part 9: Oren's Perspective
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(Where...where am I? I feel...cold...)
I cannot see anything. The world around me is...void. Black. Empty... It...feels like I'm falling. Am I falling? I cannot even tell.
(What happened to me?...)
I then remember Hisashi's final blow. The memory is faint though. Almost a blur.
(Ah yes... That's right... I died.)
My recklessness has finally caught up to me. All my actions. All my mistakes. All of it has led up to this point. A failure. I'm a failure. Perhaps, death would be a blessing. For me...and everyone else. I will join my family and friends soon enough. And the world will no longer suffer from my mistakes. Perhaps, this was my fate. I couldn't change anything. In the grand scheme of things, I don't think I ever could. All those visions in Terraz? Just forms of mockery to remind me of how helpless I truly am. A chance at revenge? So many chances were given to me, and I wasted all of them, right up to the very end.
A light once again shines in front of me. Or...above me, I don't know. Unlike before, it seems to be rather dim.
(It would seem you do not possess the Successor's Will, after all.)
."..Oh...Hello again, Voice..."
(Honestly, what a crappy way to end the first volume.)
(I don't know what that means.)
"So then...where am I?"
(Same place as you were before.)
"Would that be Heaven? Or would that be Hell?"
(If this were Heaven, we'd be eating Ichiraku ramen with Boa Hancock. And the devil is currently at a part-time job, so no admittance into Hell for a while.)
(Again...I don't get it.)
"It's safe to say that I'm dead, though."
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(Yes and No. I am keeping you alive, although I cannot do it for that much longer. After all, if you die, I die. Still, you don't seem to care very much. Can't say I blame you. You lost everything. Your family. Your home. Your best friends. And all you've done is make things more complicated. The way I see it, you might actually have the Sucessor's Will, after all. Because I can't see one of your kind who doesn't carry the Will messing up this badly.)
"I'm afraid I don't...OOF!!"
For whatever reason, I finally feel like I'm falling and land on my back. I look to see what I fell on and it's a giant crystal, probably one as wide as a house, with no reflection. I look around me and see many other floating crystals of my height around me, each one without a reflection.
(You don't have any will of your own at all, from what I can tell.)
"You're right..." I hear another voice say. It was...my voice.
I look at one of the crystals and see my own reflection. However, it's not moving with my body and is speaking on its own.
"All I've ever done is make mistakes..."
Another crystal shows my reflection.
"I did what I thought was right! Can you blame me for trying!?"
"Wonder what would have happened if we chose a different approach." says another me.
"Who cares about all the others!? To live is to be free, and these burdens caused by others just weigh me down."
"It would have been better...if I was never born at all."
"It's not my fault that everyone around me suffers! They should have known better. And they weren't all my mistakes!"
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"Fighting is too much of a pain. Let things occur as they should and let life take its course."
"Kill them all! Kill them all! Only I matter! Life is to live for oneself! Survival of the fittest!"
All these voices. My voices. My contradictions. Overwhelming me. Overwhelming!
(Enough. Enough!)
"SILENCE!!!!"
The crystals around me all shatter to pieces, their shards floating in the air. All around me, all I can see is my reflection. Which one of those Orens was the real me? Even I don't know.
(The issue lies in your lack of memory.)
I turn around and see the dim light once again.
(Lack of memories means lack of experience, and lack of experience results in lack of understanding of how to handle certain things. The environment you live in will always change you in some way. If you were taught to be egotistical, you could have been some of those voices. If you were born poor, you could have been others. Those were all "yous" that you could be. But, with lack of memory, none of them are who you are. You could be anyone or anything, and you have few memories to hinder your judgement.)
The voice pauses for a second.
(And it's because of your lack of memories that you rely too much on your heart.)
"My...heart?"
(A heart swayed by love. A heart filled with rage. Truth be told, no matter how much you think you thought things through, everything you've done up to this point has been based on the spur of the moment because of your emotions. It's one thing to have a heart, but the heart alone doesn't make you who you are. Your decisions affect the people around you, and even if you feel something for them, the heart doesn't always know what's right for them. It can tell you only what you should do.)
Oren!!
"Hm?..."
OREN!!!!!
"Is that...Crystal?"
The dim light begins to glow slightly brighter. Within the light, I see a weakened Crystal attempting to remove Hisashi's blade from my chest.
Don't worry, Oren! I will help you!
"Why?...After everything I've done, why is she?..."
(You may have made a good number of mistakes, but you have touched the hearts of a few people. You may not be worthy to be the protagonist of a tale yet, but even you can make a difference.)
As soon as she says this, she begins to show me some of my memories. Memories of my friends in Terraz working alongside me. Memories of Doryoko, Sueka, and me laughing at the dinner table back home. Memories of my time with Hisashi and the children. I'm surprised I even had a memory of Yamiso smiling at me, if only slightly.
(The way I see it, you have three choices. First, you can choose to pass on, and we both die. Second, you can choose to go back and walk away from all this. Leave all your current troubles behind and start over. Or third, you go back and finish what you've started.)
"Hisashi..."
(Hm?)
"You're right, I don't know who I am. But what makes Hisashi do what he does? Is there really no other way?"
...
"I must know."
(So, your choice?)
"Honestly...Probably something stupid."
(Wouldn't have it any other way.)
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