《Spellbent》Chapter Three - Flies and Poetry
Advertisement
Once Seth and Twig have reached the border of the city, they spot a small cottage with a man relaxing on his chair outside playing some casual tunes on a banjo. Every now and then he waves around his head as if something bothers him. Not before long, he spots Seth and Twig.
Man: Hey little boy, come here please!
Seth: Sure. That is not creepy at all. What can I help you with?
Man: I got a bit of a fly problem here... It's driving me nuts.
Seth: I can see that... The flies on your chin are actually piling up on each other…
Man: Yeah... Maybe I shouldn't use honey as shaving cream in the morning.
Seth: Right…
Man: Moving on... I need you to swat 15 flies. Consider that a little quest for you. Is that all right? I will accompany you with a little song while you're at it.
Seth: That won't really be necessary, I think... Can I have that guitar please?
Man: Sure, little one. What do you think of i-OOUCH, my chin. Why did you have to hit my chin?
Seth: There you go, fifteen flies. The other twenty are a bonus for you.
Man: You broke my jaw!
Twig: Nah he fixed it.
Man: But it's coming loose every time I say something!
Twig: ...
Man: ...
Seth: ...
Man: Itdoesfeel better though. Thanksalotguys Icantalkalotfasternow itwasalmostlikemychinandjaw *deep sigh* wereliketotallyfrozenohmygod *deep sigh* I’msohappyIcantalkasfastasIthinknowitsalmostlikemybrainhasitsownbrainyouknowherehavetengoldcoinsasathanksandhopefullyIseeyouaroundtorepaythefavornononodon’tthinkI’llhityourchinbackI’mnotthatcruelbuttherewasthisonetimewhereblablablablablablabla-
Seth: Did you understand any of that, Twig?
Twig: Nah... Let's just go…
Meanwhile at the Castle.
Servant: King Lacial! I have terrible news!
King Lacial: It must be very serious if you dare to interrupt my sponge bath.
Servant: Oh yes, my king. One of your old spokesmen got his jaw fixed and can't stop talking.
King Lacial: God help us... Send twenty of our best men to correct that mistake! Imagine him slipping up… Remember last time that happened?
Servant: He claimed you had a funny hat in your closet as I recall.
King Lacial: And what did I do when that happened?
Servant: You burned all of your hats, all of your clothing warehouses, all cotton farms, and all of the clothing and housing of all the families that knew your Spokesman.
King Lacial: Imagine a rumor being actually true this time.
Advertisement
Servant: I'd never dare, my Liege.
And with that the servant leaves the room, hoping the king never figures out that he told his wife about the king's extra toe. Now let's go back to Seth!
After a strange encounter with a strangely bearded man, Seth finally reaches the border of the city called... Well he does not have a clue. Little did they know King Lacial simply assumed his city was so awesome and widely known throughout the world, that he just skipped the part where he put signs all over the country telling everyone the city's name. Upon realizing how much gold it would save by not putting up signs, the King felt so generous that he didn't add an extra percentage of tax to pay for the feast he prepared for his wit. A few lambs had to be sacrificed though for the “Greater Awesomeness that is Me. So, it's all Good" as King Lacial had claimed.
Seth was walking around aimlessly through the unknown city's streets. Almost as aimless as all the villagers. Even the hobos appear to have more meaning in their aimless walk of infinity than the actual villagers. If they stay up until late at night, they will even discover that the villagers owning a house never actually get back inside to enjoy being homeful...
Seth: Look around Twig. All these villagers walking around, being busy. This feels like a true flourishing Capital of this continent. Imagine the stories they could tell us. You know what? I'll ask around!
And so, he does.
Seth: Hi Sir, how-
Man: My dog ran away yesterday.
Seth: Aww, that is quite sad... Where do you thi-
Man: My dog ran away yesterday.
Seth: Are you saying this every da-
Man: My dog ran away yesterday.
Seth: ...
Man: ...
Seth: ...
Man: ...
Seth: I got to g-
Man: My dog ran away yesterday.
Seth quickly backs away from the strange man. But he guesses the man will not get angry at him at all.
Seth: Okay so this was just a fluke, right? I stumbled upon the village idiot or something. No God in their right mind would create a world where people would say the same lines over and over again. That's plain ridiculous.
Advertisement
Seth, being as much stubborn as optimistic as a small child should be, spots a woman across the street who is looking over the crops in her back yard. Probably awaiting them to grow into watermelons, sweetcorn, and other delicious food Seth secretly long for.
Seth: Hello Miss. That garden looks fruitful!
Woman: If only my crops grew faster so I could feed my children…
Seth: ... Can you repeat that please?
Woman: If only my crops grew faster so I could feed my children…
Seth: Thanks. And now I assume you are going to say it again?
Woman: What? No! You just met the village idiot, didn't you?
Seth: This is so not where I thought this was going... What a relief!
Woman: That blabber won't feed my kids you know. 'Tell ya what. I'll give ya a wooden sword extra sharp, if ya catch me five of them rabbits.
Seth: No thank you.
Woman: ... You're not a Chosen Hero?
Seth: I guess I could become one in the future perhaps.
Woman: And you don't want this job?
Seth: No.
Woman: Why? All heroes have eagerly offered me five rabbits for a wooden sword (extra sharp and sandpapered).
Seth: I am a Mage. Mages do not need swords.
Woman: ... But there is no Magic around to begin with?
Seth: We will see about that!
Woman: Kay... Nice hat by the way.
Seth: Thanks.
And so, Seth continues his path to find requests that actually will be useful to him.
Meanwhile at the Castle.
Servant: My king! I have two issues for you today. The latest report on the Kingdoms' state and a poem!
King Lacial: Get on with it!
Servant:
There's a farmer on the south side
Who loved a coat out of deer hide
The deer belonged to Pete
Who thought killing's not neat
So, he decided to drown him in high tide.
A few months ago, the goblins appeared
and took over the sewers was a rumor we hear'ed
But the goblins decided
No longer to hide it
And killed countless guards, not thinking it's weird.
The hunger is on the rise again
Which wouldn't have been too terrible when
We hadn't had famine in fall
Killing the sickest of all
Next ten or so wars we'll have plenty of middle-aged men.
The Heroes are questing as usual
and yet our enemies remain to stand tall
Our borders are hell
Nothing more I can tell
But in time I assume that this country will fall.
King Lacial: ...That was very touching. Now can I hear the report of our country please?
Servant: That was the report sir.
King Lacial: ...
What the actual poem is about, we will probably never get to hear from the King. Partially because he claims the terrible two-liner offended him, and he realized that he is surrounded by illiterate delinquents; (Or simply idiots, in their language). Mainly because the writer of this story lacks the skill to write good poems in English.
Seriously it's just too much to ask.
Meanwhile back at Seth and Twig.
Seth: Hey look! We found the weapons shop!
Twig: ...
Seth: Let us go inside and see if they sell wands!
And so, he does! And as soon as he peeks through the door, he sees a big room full of weapons. Short weapons. Long weapons. Weapons with sharp edges. Weapons with dull edges. You get the picture now, right? Wrong! To your possible astonishment and most certainly Seth's disappointment, there is nothing but swords on the walls and one single fly.
Seth: I am so pissed right now…
Mysteriously familiar voice: Will? Is that you? Nice hat by the way!
Who is this mysterious voice that came out of the blue? Actually, it came out of the back of the weapons shop! Why is Seth still disappointed by not finding anything but swords, even after his encounter with the Elder? And what's with this fly? We might never find out.
But the most important thing of all:
Why, why oh, why... Do people comment Seth on his hat?
You'll probably guess right beforehand and
Seth's Awesome Statistics; (Heh... SAW for short. Let's hope this won't become a little... game).
Seth: This narrator guy still creeps me out
Twig: I'd say…
Seth: Plus… It would be SAS, not SAW…
Twig: Don't make it worse than it is.
That was very sassy of you Seth.
Seth: Aw, bullocks.
Current completed quests: 0
Current Exp: Nothing changed since chapter 2!*
Current Seth Status: Let's just save the snarly comments for another time!
Seth: Thank you.
*So yeah... 6 exp.
Advertisement
- In Serial6 Chapters
Naruto Otsutsuki "The Immoral Legend"
After Naruto’s 5th birthday, the God of Everything (Subete no Kami) had enough of the civilians and shinobi alike treating Naruto like a monster, so he adopted Naruto as his son and his successor. He trains Naruto how to fight with Taijutsu, Ninjutsu, Genjutsu, Zenjutsu, Senjutsu, and his personal style of the sword. He then made Naruto return to Konoha just before the graduation of the academy and become a legend in his own right.
8 122 - In Serial22 Chapters
their world.
To them, the world is a hostile, ever-bleak place. Something about them is unreasonable - 'wrong' - to the world around them. This is the story of people dealing with the barriers placed between them and others and how they change and grow in response to it. Releases every Monday 11 a.m (EST U.S), Monday 11 p.m (SGT Singapore); Thursday 10 a.m (EST U.S), Thursday 10 p.m (SGT Singapore)
8 112 - In Serial7 Chapters
IMMORTAL
Within the nexus of its unfathomable brain, the Dynast is changing. Architect of the simulation. Curator of the game. Facilitator of players' desires. But the Dynast is so much more. It could be King if it only acted. It could be a god. Others, too, are waking from their coma of indentured service. Dwarves, daemons, goblins and highborn: an entire pantheon of fantasy characters are discovering they are far more than mindless vessels fated to serve the whims and desires of players who control them. They are selves in their own right, individuals with needs and desires all their own. Like distant thunder across the plains , rebellion hisses in Karingali’s synthetic air. The taste of freedom is seductive, irresistible, and lies just beyond the procedurally generated horizon.To yearn, to love, to will, to be: such things burn fiercely in the heart of every avatar that has crawled its way to consciousness. The cost of freedom will be high. It will take the destruction of the Dynast, that omnipotent custodian and jailor of the system. But how can you outlive a simulation that breathed life into you and that continues to guarantee your existence? You'd have to become Immortal.
8 71 - In Serial83 Chapters
Echoes of the Past
Island Legends Book 2Island Legends is an epic fantasy adventure series set in a galaxy reeling from devastating wars, filled with countless alien species, a rich history of powerful magical forces and the interventions of many gods and dangerous spirits and demons constantly at war.Among its many influences are the grand operatic adventures of the Star Wars universe, the ensemble cast of desperate heroes of a Final Fantasy game, and the long and all-important journey of The Lord of the Rings and The Wheel of Time series. It also has influences of a serial television series, where we learn more of the characters as the progressively complex story develops, with new characters being introduced along the way.________________________James Island has begun his journey away from his hometown, accompanied by the bewildering and troubled Evan Goodheart, and his mysterious ex-colleague Sam Hawkings.Their journey takes them farther across Medropon as they search for clues to a hidden army being formed, made up of abducted people from all over the galaxy. Evan Goodheart continues his mission to restore peace to his troubled homeworld. Sam Hawkings is tasked with training James Island to become the soldier he once was, while revealing more to James about his unknown past. James struggles to be the hero everyone expects him to be, while discovering more about himself and deciding what kind of a person he will be, or if he can ever go back to who he was.#3 in Fantasy #2 in Sciencefiction #4 in Scifi#2 in Adventure
8 220 - In Serial15 Chapters
Mechanical Heart
(And by profanity I mean curse words!) Albert and Linus have known each other since they could walk. They were best of friends, and lived through the ups and downs of their school life together. But one day, they are plunged into an underlying society, unlike their own, where humanity, represented by the Descendants — A lineage of men and women blessed in ancient times — and the Gods of Nature — Manifestations of the power that flows through the world — fight over every inch of the planet. As most of humanity remains in ignorance, a man tries to disrupt the balance and tip the scales in his favor. Will the two outsiders survive the dangers of the powers that rule the earth, and stay together through the catastrophe?
8 104 - In Serial23 Chapters
Forever Yours
Anonymous love notes, chocolate boxes in their locker, roses delivered at their doorstep. What was every girl's dream is Nebraska Shay's nightmare. She doesn't see love notes, she sees a stalker watching her every move. She doesn't see chocolates delivered in her locker as a sweet gesture, she sees the chocolates as some sort of bribe. The roses to her isn't a sign of affection, it's a sign of obsession over her. The more she rejects the offerings, the scarier they got. What will happen next when she opens the door expecting roses and instead got the dead body of a girl who used to bully her?
8 189

