Seraphine

Sunlight filled the plum colored room, its tiny rays bleeding through my eyelashes as my body began to wake up. My peaceful waking was broken quickly by the memories of yesterday returning to the forefront of my mind with a vengeance. Claire and Jayden, both of whom I had met less than two days ago, had somehow found their way into my heart. A place normally reserved only for my close family, which was mostly dominated by Michael.

And I had betrayed them. Claire was taken and I did nothing to help her. Then I left her behind when Jayden came for us, a victim of my own anger and fear. If only I knew how to control these powers, then I could use them to protect the ones I love. Protect, not hurt… Images of Claire were replaced with ones of Jayden, standing in his sitting room, his very life force in my hands as I nearly killed him. He had been an outlet for my rage, and yet he still believed I was good. He still believed that I could learn control. He still came running to save me from my nightmares--

Suddenly remembering the events that had transpired in this room, I rolled over to see Jayden beside me, sleeping soundly. Heat rushed to my face as I watched his chest rise and fall. I’d asked him to stay, and he did. It was the first night since… the event… that I had slept through the night. I had gotten some sleep yesterday morning, but that was more out of physical exhaustion and I had woken up nearly every half an hour or so.

I wonder if he slept well too, I thought to myself. Jayden began to stir, his eyes squinted against the unwelcome sunlight. He sat up and lazily looked over at me, his eyes suddenly becoming wide as though he just remembered going to bed with me last night.

“I did sleep pretty well, actually,” he said, stretching.

“W-What?” Had I accidentally projected my thoughts to him? That had never happened before…

“Did you not mean to invade my mind with your early morning questions?” He asked, looking at me with curiosity.

“Sorry if I woke you,” I replied, regaining a bit of composure.

“What, trying to read my dreams or something?” He inquired, a sly grin spreading across his face. I grinned back and shook my head, unable to hide a small laugh that escaped my lips. He was too cute and smart for his own good sometimes. Some part of me was conscious of his heart rate increasing at the sound of my laughter, and I looked up at him. He shifted under the comforter, his hand accidentally brushing against my bare leg. I felt his heart rate increase again, along with mine. A flush blossomed on both of our cheeks as we looked at each other. I didn’t pull my leg away, though.

Why? Why was I letting him get to me like this? Why was I letting him touch me where Hector…

Immediately I stood up and walked over to the dresser, pulling on my jeans and black boots. I looked back to see Jayden was still in bed, his head turned away from me to look out the window. I shuddered as more memories of Hector assaulted my mind, leaving imprints on my body where he had touched me. My lungs started to take in less and less air and I put a hand on the dresser in front of me to stabilize myself, but it didn’t help. The memories overlayed themselves onto my vision as I saw the image of Hector, unfastening his pants and spreading my legs…

I fell to the ground, still unable to breathe as my blood pounded in my ears. Hector grinned at my weakness, invisible hands clawing at the mark on the back of my neck. I tried to cry out, but found my mouth gagged. Dirt and tears clouded my vision and I forced my eyes shut as he pressed himself against me…

“Sera? Sera!” Michael? My mind wondered, slowly returning to reality. “Get her some water,” the voice said. Not Michael. The voice belonged to someone older, someone with dark hair and hazel-green eyes. I carefully opened my eyes, terrified that Hector would be waiting for me. Jayden’s concerned face filled my vision, and I could breathe again knowing Hector was nowhere to be found. My senses seemed to realign and I became aware of the cold sweat running down my back, my clammy hands shaking uncontrollably.

“Here, drink this,” Jayden said softly, raising a glass of clear liquid to me. I timidly raised a pale, shaking hand to the glass. The liquid--water, my mind corrected me, shook with my hand. A larger, warmer hand closed over mine, stabilizing the glass and steadily moving the water to my lips. I swallowed a miniscule amount of the cool liquid, and immediately regretted it. My stomach rebelled at the water’s intrusion and lurched uncomfortably. Feeling my stomach begin to convulse, I stumbled up and through the door to the white bathroom, clinging to the edges of the toilet like a life raft. My dark hair tumbled over my shoulders before being quickly whisked away by hands not belonging to me.

Jayden and I sat in the bathroom for several minutes until I regained control over my body’s erratic behavior. We sat in silence, with Jayden gently rubbing my back in circles. Eventually, once I was feeling closer to normal, I moved my hand to hold his, and we stayed like that for a few more minutes before Jayden broke the silence.

“How do you feel?” He asked. The most generic question, yet probably the only thing he could think of at the moment.

“Like hell,” I responded. After another minute of silence I added, “we can stand up now.”

“Are you sure?” He asked as he helped me to my feet. My limbs were still trembling, but not as much as before. I would be able to walk, but probably not without Jayden’s help.

He supported me like a crutch as we walked out of the room and down the hallway. We paused outside the door to the library, and Jayden looked over at me.

“Do you want breakfast?” He asked, his concerned eyes searching my expression.

“No,” I responded, reminded of what one sip of water had done to my stomach. He nodded and pushed open the door to the library, helping me sit down in one of the cushioned chairs before straightening up.

“I’m going to grab some breakfast and get dressed,” he said, looking down at himself. I followed his gaze and took a moment to study his features. He didn’t have a lot of muscle built up, but had enough to be defined. Probably a combination of light exercise and forgetting to eat as he was holed up in here studying. I nodded in confirmation of his statement, giving him the assurance he needed to leave me unattended.

My eyes followed him out of the room, and a sigh escaped my lips. I leaned back in the chair and contemplated the ceiling. What was that just now? A panic attack? It seemed strange that I hadn’t had one before now. In fact, until this morning I hadn’t been able to remember details about Hector’s attack. With that mental block broken, were more awful memories going to come flooding back? Was I going to have more panic attacks?

I sighed again and moved my attention to the green trees outside the library window. He had successfully scarred me for life, just like he had planned. But I couldn’t focus on my own grief now. Claire needed us, and we were going to have to act fast if we wanted to help her.