《Guide to Reincarnation: What NOT To Do》Tip 1: Don't Mess With Royals
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I woke up, drowsy from being knocked out, in a prison cell. I opened my status window and laughed.
Whoever decided to put me through the pain of reincarnating over and over again decided to give me a break and give me a status window, like the one you see in games. I was able to see my fatigue, my hunger, my health, and all different types of useful things. I was also allowed to bring two things from each previous world to continue on with to the next life. Since I had reincarnated so many times, I had all sorts of things that were extremely useful.
Like an enchanted skeleton key.
I walked up to the door and slipped my hands through the bars. Feeling out the keyhole, I put the key in and turned. With a satisfying click, the door unlocked. Putting my key away, I pushed open the door and walked down the hallway.
Looking around, there weren’t many people in the cells. The few people who were there were asleep and looking quite haggard. They must’ve been in here for days. People of all ages were there, from young thieves to old nobles. I began to walk up the stairs when I heard a voice.
“Are you really going to leave all your compatriots behind?”
A young woman was leaning against her cell door with a grin on her face. She had a rough voice, seemingly parched from being ignored for so long. She had short black hair tied with string into a small ponytail and her skin and eyes had a copper hue to them. She had a mischievous grin plastered on her face.
I looked at her with suspicion and distaste. If you didn’t pay attention, she had a make-shift knife in the back. She was trying to get someone with a key to get close and then most likely kill.
“All’s fair in love and war.” I replied.
She grinned. “My name is Sansi, by the way.”
I stared at her. “Don’t believe I asked.” I began to walk away.
“Why don’t you get me out of here and we both walk out together?”
“What benefit do I have from freeing you?”
She smirked. “You don’t get caught.” She tossed a pebble at my shoulder. I laughed.
Then I hit the floor.
My legs were paralyzed. I looked up at Sansi. Again, that annoying smirk that angered me to no end. She twirled around a needle in her hand.
“You know, I’m a master in acupuncture. I could fix that problem with your legs for a certain price. Of course, you could always choose to not receive my help, but I’m afraid that your legs may start to tighten. It would be very painful.”
I crawled over to her.
“Now we're getting somewhere. Now, where’s the key, darling?”
I pulled on her legs hard. Her eyes widened as she fell, almost with that same ridiculous expression the butler had. Sansi was unconscious when her head slammed against the rock. I pulled her over and checked her pulse. She was, unfortunately, alive.
I crawled back into my cell and shut the door. I doubted she would actually heal my muscles, but she had no advantage for lying to me about her abilities. Best case, I was fine and had to wait until tomorrow to escape. Worst case, she meant what she said and I passed out on the middle of the floor.
I laid down and winced. My muscles were cramping like I had run across the desert. The pain was messing with my logic. I banged my head against the bench and opened the status bar. I selected a painkiller and a canteen. I swallowed the pill and put everything back. I began to shiver. What did she do to me? I thought incredulously. She messed with my nerves, making me hot one second and freezing the next.
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I quietly groaned. Tonight was going to be a long night.
I still regret going to sleep that night. Nothing considerably bad happened, but…
I had a dream about my first life.
----
It was a cool, autumn day with the leaves falling onto the ground. The geese were flying south for the winter. Alicia Parker, mad at her older brother, stormed out of the house.
“Alicia, where do you think you’re going!” Will yelled.
“To school, where you won’t bother me with your idiocy!” Alicia yelled back, fuming.
“This is your fault, Alicia. I’ve let you get away with so much and you just throw me under the bus as soon as you do something seriously wrong!”
“Oh, and now you’re trying to make yourself the victim.” Alicia laughed bitterly.
“Alicia, this isn’t funny. I’m serious.”
Alicia walked backwards. “You know what? I hate you, Will!”
“Alicia, move!”
A white moving truck hit Alicia’s body.
Will ran to her side and held Alicia.
“Alicia, you can’t die. Not like this.” Will started to cry. He got up and ran to the neighbor's house, banging at the door. The driver got out of the car and looked at her slowly dying. He opened a small bottle of purple liquid and poured it on Alicia’s head.
He whispered in Alicia’s ear.
“Thank you for your sacrifice.”
Alicia then passed away.
----
I woke up with a start. I held myself and started to breathe slower. Every life since then, I tried to live to the fullest. It still hurt to think about how I had hurt my brother right before I died. I shook my head and looked outside. I couldn’t - I didn’t have the luxury of reminiscing on the past. For now, I needed to keep moving forward and figuring out the rules and laws of this new world.
I opened my inventory and searched for the greatest book any reincarnated person could have -
Guide to Folding Laundry and Throwing Socks.
It had an inconspicuous name and an inconspicuous cover, simply plain red leather with the words painted in gold on the side. To people who didn’t need it, the book was about folding laundry and throwing socks. In actuality, it had a simple overview of whatever world you were in and simple things you needed to know. I began to read.
The world I was in had the name of Omara. There were 7 main kingdoms.
Eslen, the current biggest kingdom, ruled by Emperor Greenforn De’Pelier. He had conquered many kingdoms before and was known as a kind and benevolent ruler. His son, Claudian De’Pelier was 11 years old. Eslen had a great economy, but was also a neutral party between all the other kingdoms’ fights between themselves.
Faralen was the home of the elves. There were two sectors of the elves. The high elves, who had a fairly mutual relationship with humans. They were polite and most of the conversations a high elf would have with a human would be about trade. The Jakan Elves were a different story. They despised humans and often killed any humans who came into their territory.
Taten was a small kingdom but with a mighty naval force. They relied on trade to keep the economy afloat. It also held the most pirates and the second most mercenaries and merchants.
Azurejian held the most mercenaries in the world. A desert biome, they had no advantage in agriculture or land use. They did however have dragons. These dragons were the military advantage the Azureji needed to stay on top. No one dared to mess with the Azureji. The nobles were extremely corrupt because you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting an assassin. The only worry was if that assassin cared enough to kill you or leave you alone.
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(I do not condone killing cats)
Then there was the forest kingdom of Lurena. It was a sanctuary for all, but it's natives were the dryad's who took care of the forest. Killing for game was not allowed and could get you permanently exiled from any forest anywhere, for the Queen, Lunia, held power over all forests in which there was a dryad.
The sixth kingdom was the Oceanic Kingdom. No one knew the true name of the kingdom or where the palace was located. The nymphs and the other ocean creatures kept to themselves, but if you had a rough travel over the seas, it was because you had made an enemy of the ocean.
The final kingdom was the Demonic Kingdom. They lived past the treacherous snowy mountains and no one who went past the mountains came back. All the kingdoms were required to send troops to the border.
It seems that currently I was in Taten, though it didn't specify where exactly I was. I heard the swing of the metal door and quickly put away the book and slipped the skeleton key and a lockpick in my pocket. If they were here to take someone away, I would need to slip out and unlock all the cells to create a riot. Plus if Sansi was such a great acupuncturist, she would be able to get out if she was tossed a lockpick.
The guard came over and unlocked my cell. He handcuffed me and began to pull me across the hallway. Sansi smirked at me, for what seemed for the 50th time. She drew her finger slowly across her neck and pointed at me. She then quickly ran to the front of her cell and pulled me close to the bars. The guard tried to pull me away, but Sansi's grip was stronger.
"It seems the prince requests your presence" She smiled evilly. "Or perhaps, your execution?" She began laughing manically, letting me go in the process. That's when it clicked. She was insane. Yet, I still dropped the lockpick into her cell. I still can't comprehend why I did so, maybe from a sense of respect for her, but the way her eyes widened is still a memory that is vivid in my head to this day. She bowed respectfully and nodded. It gave me whiplash how fast her personality changed.
The guard continued to drag me out of the prison and into the palace. Turns out, I was a high priority inmate (didn't help I fell out of the sky) so they kept me under the Blue Garden, a private garden that only the two princes and princess could enter. I looked at the beautiful blue roses. What a great sight only for criminals and royals.
We finally came to the door to the royal court. I laughed quietly. How pompous do these people have to be to have multiple thrones in multiple places?
Finally, a man with a quite amazing mustache came out. He opened the door and spoke.
"You have been summoned."
I was dragged into the throne room and was forced to kneel down in the middle of the room. I looked up at my executors. The king seemed not to be there. Instead, the two princes and princess sat in three ornate thrones. They looked relatively young, about the same age as me, ten. I sat back on my feet and stared at them. They all had beautiful purple hair and gray eyes. The princess had a mature look to her. The prince on her left had messy hair, and a badge made out of silver and amethyst. He had eyes that I could recognize in a second from my many travels, eyes that had seen death. The man on her right had a calm, collected aura and stern eyes. He was checking his watch constantly. It seems he had something more important to do than an execution. I started to laugh. So much procedure to kill someone. I was mentally hundreds of years older than them, and yet I was the one being killed.
"Didn't you know that it is extremely inappropriate and rude to look at a royal in a formal setting without permission?" The left prince said.
"Don't really see the point of being polite to someone who's going to kill me." I was done with trying to fake a personality.
"Who said you are going to die?" The right prince looked up from his watch with a slightly amused countenance.
"I know the process- wait, what did you say?"
"I thought you understood etiquette? Isn't it rude to ask a royal to repeat themselves?" The right prince said.
"You- You aren't going to execute me?" I said, surprised.
"Well, you couldn't possibly be a spy. A spy would kill themselves first without getting caught." The left prince laughed.
"It certainly doesn't help that you fell from the sky, but it doesn't hurt either."
I stared, dumbfounded. Had I really been so stupid to not think of all of the possibilities?
"What are you going to do with me, then?"
The princess tossed a scroll at me. It unfurled to show a woman laying on a mast of a ship, called the Swiftest. The woman had long black hair, and dual swords at her hips. She was crossing her arms and seemed to be laughing at something. Her green-blue eyes reflected the sea. I looked back up at the princess.
"Who is this?" I asked.
"That is Aliyah Kiyan. She is the leader of the Rixian Pirates, the so-called masters of the sea. They're getting dangerously close to our ships and we wish to keep a watchful eye on her." The princess said.
"So you want me to watch her?"
"We want you to become her right hand man." The right prince said.
"Woman." The princess corrected.
"And what prevents me from telling her everything as soon as I reach her ship?" I asked, pondering my options.
"Nothing, other than the fact that you will be hunted down by a royal family." The princes said in unison.
I nodded. "When do I start?"
The princess snapped her hands. "Now."
I fell through a portal that had appeared below me and landed on my feet in an alley.i walked out and could smell the sea. I sighed. Why did I have to be reincarnated this way?
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