"DON'T JUMP, IT IS NOT WORTH IT." Even though I was yelling, my voice was devoid of emotion.

"NO ONE WANTS ME TO LIVE SO WHY WOULD I BOTHER TO CONTINUE ON LIVING?" A girl standing at the edge of a building yelled back

"THAT'S NOT TRUE I DO WANT YOU TO LIVE, SO JUST DON'T JUMP." I shouted but it didn't seem to calm the girl down at all.

Dammit what do I do?! I've called for help but their still on their way, I need to stall the girl for more time so they can arrive!

"EVERYONE ALWAYS SAYS THAT I'M A BURDEN, I'M A DEAD WEIGHT, GLOOMY, UGLY, ANNOYING AND PATHETIC, THEY JUST WANT ME TO LEAVE THIS WORLD!" She said as she started crying

People starting gathering around because of the ruckus and I started hearing murmurs and whispers.

don't pay attention to them Noah! You have to buy time!

"I'M TELLING YOU THAT'S NOT TRUE THERE ARE ALWAYS PEOPLE WHO SAY STUFF LIKE THAT BUT YOU HAVE TO IGNORE THEM, LOOK AT YOU YOU LOOK GREAT, AND EVERYONE HAS DIFFERENT COMPATIBILITIES SO YOU JUST HAVE TO FIND THE RIGHT PEOPLE, WHY DON'T YOU COME DOWN AND TALK ABOUT IT? WE CAN HAVE A NICE CHAT" Nice! That seems motivational enough right? I gave myself a thumps up but her next few words made my already pale complexion paler.

"LOOK AT YOU, YOU ARE THE WORST LIAR POSSIBLE, DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT? DO THINK IT'S THAT EASY? HUH? AND WHAT IS WITH THAT BLANK FACE? ATLEAST SHOW PITY YOU PIECE OF SCUM..."

ugh! I hate this face of mine! I'm never able to talk to people because I'm always so flat-faced, what do I do to make her believe me? What do I do? What do I do? ... Forget it I'm not going to find a solution to a problem I've been facing my whole life so quickly, what I need to do is to prevent her from jumping with whatever method it takes.

But no words could come out of my mouth, I've already spoken more words in this short duration than I would have in two whole days! I did my utmost to say something though only unintelligible sqeaks came out of my mouth.

...I hate myself

She stared at me as if waiting for a response and when I didn't reply to her she scoffed "I KNEW YOU WERE SUCH A PERSON, GOING ON ABOUT THIS AND THAT WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID" She wiped her tears and readied herself "... AND YOU SAID I SHOULD COME DOWN TO HAVE A CHAT RIGHT?! WELL! ALRIGHT! I WILL COME DOWN!" She shouted as she jump off the building.

OH SH*T! SH*T! SH****T!

My mind was is chaos as I instinctively positioned myself to catch her.

My eyes blacked out briefly followed by a cracking sound in my skull and sharp pain, after the pain hit me I jolted and my eye opened, time slowed down, every second felt like eternity, and every sound got filtered out and I could only hear my own heavy breathing, I took in my surroundings, most people looked utterly shocked, while some were rushing towards me.

I was surprisingly calm and actually matched my expressionless face, it hurt, extremely so, however there was some sort of feeling, or perhaps a voice in my head telling me everything is going to be fine there's no need to panick, I felt the urge to close my eyes, as I did, memories started coming back to me, as if my life was playing over again like a movie.

I was only loved by my Mother, My father said that I was a bad omen as my paternal grandfather had a stroke and died while he was holding me and my grandmother died soon after, it was unreasonable for father to hate me for something I didn't even do, so I didn't like my father aswell because he treated me coldly.

At kindergarten and primary school I was often called scary because of my face, my sharp features and my eyebrows always made me look a bit angry, and since I was flat-faced and never laughed with them, I was excluded and never made any friends.

In my 1st year of elementary school, my Mother passed away in a car accident when she was going to pick me up from school, at that time I knew what death meant, so I was forlorn and sad, I was losing hope, the only person I truly love had died, I can't meet her nor see her again, no grieving was visible on my face though, I looked completely calm and indifferent, and this incident made my Father despise me, he was now convinced I'm a 'bad omen' and decided to abandon me.

Since I was abandoned by 'Father', I moved to my maternal grandmother's house in another country, she lived alone, and she was a warm person, I hadn't met her before but she welcomed me.

Since I was lonely, I Had lots of free time, which resulted in me acquiring various hobbies such as drawing, reading, playing video games and gardening, I also learned knitting from grandmother and watched TV shows and dramas with her.

In Highschool I started a part-time job as a newspaper deliverer, I had tried to work as a cashier but my face made the customers file complaints that I was moody so I got fired, my school life was the same as always except since I was good at academics a couple classmates asked me to tutor them for money so I accepted the offer, I had all the free time after all.

At the beginning of my last year of highschool, my grandmother got really sick and started living in the hospital, I was scared, I didn't want to loose her, she was kind to me when my own Father wasn't, however it seems my fears have consistently come true all throughout my life, and my grandmother passed away near the end of my highschool senior year.

Since I had no relatives, family or friends other than Father, who lives in another country, I decided to rent a small apartment with the money I have saved up, I could do it since I'm 18 now, after I found an apartment, I decided to take a break before college started, I resigned from my part-time jobs and locked myself up in my newly rented apartment, I felt tired, I've always strived to be the best so people could acknowledge me, but it backfires on me, because it would seem like I'm looking down on them or diminishing them, so I'm going to stop thinking about it and be lazy, I started playing games and eating whatever I wanted everyday, one particular game was a dating simulator, I don't usually play romance based games but this one had a good design and graphics, as well as a nice story line with exciting adventures and quite a bit of action, it was called 'Fated Soulmates' playable to both guys and girls, as you can play with a male or female protagonist and the capture targets varried between men and women, it took me 43 hours but I completed all routes in both the female and male protagonists.

And even though I said I'm going to be lazy I couldn't get rid of my habit of jogging in the morning, days passed by dully like that until...

Today, when I was on my morning jog I saw this girl, and now I'm here, sprawled over on the sidewalk, a girl on top of me and a puddle of warm liquid forming under my head, warm liquid? Oh, blood.

Anyway, what's weird is that I feel calm as if I'm not dying, and that dating simulator keeps coming to mind for some reason, like, I'm dying, can't I think of something more important?

I struggled to flutter my eyes open one last time, the girl looks fine, I sighed with relief, I must have protected her nicely, I'm unaware of how much time had passed, but it appears to be enough for the girl to regain her senses and gather he wits, at first she gazed at me with confusion then after realizing what I did her gaze turned incredulous, immediately after seeing the puddle of blood under my head she was horrified, she lifted my head and said something which I didn't hear, she shook me desperately but that only made the pain increase.

To be fair, I have thought of committing suicide like her once, the only thing that stopped me was my Mother's words 'surviving hardships only makes you stronger dear, so Noah, don't give up on life no matter how much you hate it, I want you to become stronger than anyone, I want you to have a purpose in life, I want you to enjoy life, and if you want to die, die for a greater cause, so you can be remembered, I want everyone to know just how great my little NoNo is' I felt myself smile a genuine smile for the first time in so long when I recalled that memory, the nickname 'NoNo' is because my face is always frowning as if I'm saying no.

I scrutinized the girl, she was breaking down, I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to take her own life again with the look on her face, it was as if she was falling deeper and deeper into the quagmire of self-loathing, helplessness and sadness, she didn't have an anchor and will continue sinking until she's drowned by those negative feelings, I opened my mouth and a low voice came out, she leaned over closer and I said "Hey, what's with that expression like the world has ended? I want you to know that I gave you my life and I didn't give it for it to be thrown away by you, okay? You're going to live happily with the years I gave to you instead of me right? That's my only wish right now."

well not really but I want her to stop thinking of ending her life I thought as I tried shooting her a teasing smile, however it may have looked freaky on that face of mine because she started to sobbing and buried her face in my neck, I shrugged, well, I tried my best, see you soon Mother, Grandmother.

Wait what was that dating simulator game called? Ah right 'Fated Soulmates', wait why.. am I... thinking... about... it...?

And everything went black.

And that was chapter 1

--lines in this type of writing are for inner monologue (thinking)

--"lines in double quotes are for" outer monologue (talking)

to be honest, I'm just writing this for fun and to improve my English skills, if you happened to read it (this is my first time writing something, the quality will undoubtedly be bad, also my first language isn't English so do pardon me if I make mistakes :P and it would help out if you point them out so I could learn more) then it would be an honour, I'm guessing if you saw my note then you read it, Thank you!