It had been dark a few hours ago and Rocket didn’t return. Perhaps that was enough to send Cheshire looking for him. Wonderland wasn’t a very wonderful place to visitors after all and he regretted that he didn’t stop Rocket.

Many things were left unspoken between them and with the exclusion of some Rocket should know the rest. It was Rocket who played it cool back then. He was the reason for their intimacy. He came to Cheshire seeking and he got what he sought. It was more than just what he sought though. He was also able to link himself with Cheshire.

This time, it’s Cheshire’s turn to play it cool. It’s now his turn to fix what he broke.

He descended to the first floor where Lourdes was just about to close up. She was by the door, balancing herself to stare at what was outside.

“Lourdes,” Cheshire called.

Not a moment late, the fat innkeeper dashed to Cheshire’s side, asking him for what she could help with.

“It’s my friend,” Cheshire scratched his elbow, looking sheepish, “He left, you see and told me he would be back at night and it’s night and he’s still not back. So…”

“That’s what I’ve been staring outside at,” Lourdes replied, going forward then back to balance herself on one wheel, “He was lying on a tree just outside the fence over there,” Lourdes pointed to the door, “I swore he stayed there for hours and he just vanished.”

Cheshire floated by the door and peeked on the crack. There was definitely a tree just outside the fence that divided the town and the forest. It had an outstretched branch where he imagined Rocket was sitting on. He pictured the image vividly in a warm afternoon’s hue and he felt that he should go there immediately.

Vaporizing himself, he slipped through the crack of the door and floated to the tree where he materialized. He caressed the branch with his hand and longed to feel the texture of wood he could no longer comprehend—whether it was rough or smooth depended only on how undisturbed his hand ran on it.

He sat on the branch for a while as he got sentimental. He suddenly got the thinking ‘Where he was, I should be too’ going inside his head before he noticed something below. The ground wasn’t purely covered in grass. There were regions where the soil was so dry it became just sand and the grasses only grew in bunches where it was most humid.

He descended but didn’t make contact on the ground so as whatever was there stayed there. There was definitely some action that happened. There were footprints just at the base of the tree. Cheshire followed where it lead and found the sandiest area had messy lines that pointed deeper into the woods as if a body was dragged on it and left the trails.

Unfortunately, the mark only lead so far as the dry soil before vanishing on the grassy outskirts of the town, somewhere deep into the woods. Cheshire tried thinking of possible culprits but the only thing that went through his mind was Alice.

He was definitely heading for Salazen Grum. If Alice abducted Rocket then she would most likely take him to the red queen’s palace so that Rocket may be beheaded. But Cheshire was calm and worried at the same time. He was calm as there were no executions during night and worried that Alice might have taken an interest in him and is already opening him up.

Just by thinking about it, Cheshire’s pace in floating hastened as he was determined to rescue Rocket the soonest. Nobody deserves to undergo torture like they all have experienced. Although it cost them their consciousness, living obliviously as a native cat would have been better than suffering to become intelligent and having memories of how it all happened.

By Cheshire’s speed, he was already in the Tulgey woods when he spotted a familiar rabbit hopping in the distance.

***

Mctwisp had just finished his routine in roaming all of Wonderland. It was dark and he was headed back to his burrow to finish what he left off from when the bell chimed. He wasted an enormous amount of neurotoxins in dulling the raccoon for the final phase of his experiment when he was suddenly interrupted by his alarm.

He was still bothered by what he heard from the hatter. Somehow, he couldn’t accept that the Cheshire cat would be sacrificing himself for all of them. It was a stupid idea. Just like his idea of convincing Cheshire to assassinate Alice. He did know that it would be impossible and he also didn’t know why he was pushing for it.

Perhaps it’s because he knows that if ever Alice capture’s Cheshire, she wouldn’t do anything to take his life. In fact, she’ll even fix his unstable radiators. And that’s the truly thing that’s important. He couldn’t bear to lose that coward even if he was never loved back.

A bomb, Mctwisp thought. From a coward to a hero, the feline managed to change in just a small span of time whilst he spent years in just trying to convince Cheshire to join his upcoming rebellion on the Frabjous day. And he still failed.

What was with the raccoon anyway? He certainly didn’t have any charm with his rude and insulting behavior. What was with Rocket that he didn’t have? Mctwisp no longer felt neutral about the raccoon. It was no longer just purpose with him and Rocket. Mctwisp now wants something from him.

The mist that never seemed to have left the Tulgey woods thickened as the night darkened. Mctwisp kept watch of the fog’s behavior—whether it went with the wind or was seemingly moving on its own. He had previous experiences with the Cheshire cat surprising him and he missed it.

The last time they saw each other was a few moons ago—before Cheshire left them to vanish elsewhere. Now the cat reappeared with a death wish much stronger than before. And the good part of it was he was going to take Alice with him.

Mctwisp shook his head. He won’t let that happen. He’ll just kill Alice first and when Alice is dead, Cheshire won’t need to detonate. He won’t have to die and they could be together like he wanted.

He hopped faster back to his burrow, even more determined to finish his project when just ahead of him the mist acted peculiarly. Without a doubt, he knew who it was. He stopped on his tracks and fiddled his fingers as he looked at the grey smoke swirling in the air like a small tornado.

“It’s been long… Chess,” Mctwisp greeted. His eyes couldn’t settle on the sentient vapor though there were still no eyes for him to see.

A smile emanated from the smoke—just the eyes and mouth—before Cheshire finally showed himself to Mctwisp. “Have I come at a bad time?” Cheshire asked.

“I thought you were never coming again though you are uncalled for,” Mctwisp replied instantly, not letting a moment of silence create awkwardness between them. He only wished that Cheshire did the same instead of floating and smiling there like an idiot before letting go of more words he could respond to.

“You are last stationed at Salazen Grum, no?” there was a hint of worry in Cheshire’s voice, “Please tell me you saw someone that’s not from here imprisoned there.”

Mctwisp swallowed. Cheshire was definitely referring to Rocket. “N-no…” he lied, “But there was a ship on the spaceport. Useless.”

Cheshire landed on the ground, placing both hands behind his neck. He paced back and forth, showing every bit of anxiety and worry about losing the raccoon. It was the first time he’s ever showed concern.

“You seemed bothered,” Mctwisp remarked, “I never saw you react like this before… much less descend on the ground.”

Cheshire ignored him. He couldn’t be still. “Are you sure there are no prisoners in the palace? Perhaps you heard of an upcoming execution?”

“I’m afraid we have a row of five prisoners getting beheaded tomorrow,” Mctwisp said, “But there is no description about them.”

“He could be there,” Cheshire took to the air once more and floated past Mctwisp.

“Alice had sensors all over the palace,” Mctwisp warned, “Especially made for sensing and capturing you.”

Cheshire didn’t seem like he was stopped. He wasn’t even reluctant.

Mctwisp chased after the feline. “You’ll get captured,” Mctwisp yelled as he couldn’t keep up with the cat’s pace. It was messing him up inside looking at Cheshire suddenly so concerned. Nothing he could say and did say stopped the cat from going to the palace. “Why?” Mctwisp yelled in the distance. That seemed to have stopped Cheshire from moving. He continued to yell, “Why is it that you care for him so much?”

But the cat only looked over his shoulder and apologized, nothing more he did.

“You won’t find him there!” Mctwisp shouted. “Come back… please…” he knelt on the ground ailed by his past with Cheshire.

“Is there something you’re not telling me?” Cheshire asked. He was back and standing in front of Mctwisp. He offered his hand to help the white rabbit up and reluctantly, the rabbit grabbed hold. Cheshire hoisted him up easily and when he was back on his feet, he didn’t seem to have the intention of parting their hands together.

Mctwisp took off his goggles with one hand, blurred on the inside from tears that had escaped his eyes. He looked at their paired hands before pulling it on his chest, embracing it.

“How come you’re not you with him?” Mctwisp asked in a low tone, “While you’re so you when you’re with me?”

Cheshire swallowed, slowly coaxing Mctwisp to let go of his hand. “I’m sorry, Nivens… I was wrong. I thought you wouldn’t give meaning to that one-time thing. I thought you were just one of those that I’ve had.”

“Am I not?” Mctwisp exhaled, “I am just one of those you just had. By now you know that I want more than just that. We’ve been together since we were taken from Halfworld but why is it so hard for you to love me?”

“I’m sorry…” Cheshire apologized.

“I don’t want your apology,” Mctwisp said the moment Cheshire finished, “I want you to tell me why it’s so hard for you to love me. Am I repulsive? You’ve had me, have you not?”

Cheshire finally withdrew his hand from Mctwisp’s grasp. “I’m not me when I’m with him…” he said, “I’m me when I’m with you but it’s actually the other way around. I am me when I am with him.”

“Liar,” Mctwisp gasped, “Are you telling me that you could never be yourself around me? I’ve been with you for years and I know who you are. Even as you got that smile, I know what you truly feel.”

Cheshire took one step back from Mctwisp, “No…you don’t. Nobody does.” He nodded left and right, “You are all true to yourselves. Your nature is that you show it whilst I do not. Frankly speaking, I could have had Tarrant remove the hinges that keep me smile but no matter how hideous I thought I looked, I kept it because it helped me shadow my nature.” Cheshire paused, looking into Mctwisp’s eyes, “I simply found someone who hides away in a façade as I do.”

“Chess…” Mctwisp began to tremble, “You’ve no reason to hide yourself,” he walked towards the cat but for every step of approach, Cheshire drew back. “I can take who you are.”

“So much,” Cheshire replied and looked on the ground, “That you’ll destroy me.”

Mctwisp leaped to embrace the blue feline. He encircled his arms around Cheshire’s back and buried his face on the cat’s chest. “How can you know if you hadn’t tried?” he looked up and stared into the pair of glowing turquoise in Cheshire’s eyes. Slowly, he bent up to kiss the feline but the moment their lips met, Cheshire became smoke, leaving a cloud figure from where he stood.

Mctwisp almost fell but Cheshire got him before he could meet the ground.

Cheshire’s face looked neutral disregarding the smile then his eyes just shifted to look so menacing.

“You have him…” Cheshire whispered ominously, “I smell him on your clothes.”

Mctwisp paced back, afraid of Cheshire who yet again showed another light of him.

“I-I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Mctwisp swallowed.

Cheshire vanished and reappeared behind Mctwisp so close their bodies touched. Cheshire nuzzled his nose on Mctwisp’s neck, inhaling deeply.

“Blood…” he trailed off. Using his hands against the rabbit’s shoulders, he turned the rabbit facing him. “Nivens, what did you do?”

“I had to do it…” Mctwisp sobbed. “I have to save you.”

Cheshire’s claws extended from between his fingers out of instinct. He didn’t mean for it to happen. It just came out, slightly scratching Mctwisp on the arms. When he realized he hurt someone again, he draw back and jumped to the air.

“You shouldn’t have done that…” Cheshire bit his lip before disappearing—a trail of vapor heading for Mctwisp’s burrow.