He’s late. Whoever the envoy of the Church was, I already made up my mind to give him hell when he came. Though I considered the possibility of them playing this card earlier, I never thought that they actually would do it. To think that they’d tarnish their name in order to deal damage to us. Just thinking of the guy behind all this made me want to go crazy. However, even if I cursed the Church and the Pope in my mind, I made sure to keep up my smiling appearance in front of the other guests that came from other lands. Ah, why does the protagonist of this party have to be late?

“Ha~ah, why does the invited have to be late?” For a moment, I thought that my mouth slipped, causing me no small amount of alarm. I started to think up of numerous excuses to apologize for my slip of the tongue but I started to wonder whether my voice was always that deep. Can’t be right? Thought I was already way past puberty… My pointless thoughts didn’t stop me from noticing a burly man wearing a tight-fitting suit. Then it occurred to me that maybe he was the one that spoke.

“It isn’t that bad, is it?” said the burly man, killing my earlier hypothesis. For some reason, the words that came out of the burly macho man sounded very high-pitched. Though I wanted to kill whoever sent this guy, I was preoccupied with my (possible) slip of the tongue. As I opened my mouth to speak, my saviour (and cause of alarm and frustration) appeared with a very familiar baritone voice. “Sure, keep saying that. In fact, let’s wait until he appears next year.”

The sardonic tone grated on my ears but I knew I was saved—kind of. I looked at the source of the voice and saw a short, stocky man with a thick brown beard that reached his waist. In other words, a dwarf. Wow, never knew that the dwarves cared about human stuff. The dwarf caught me looking at him and he smirked. “Never saw a dwarf yet boy?” He interrogated me with his charcoal black eyes staring me in the face. Likewise, the rest looked at me.

With all the attention gathered on me, I felt pretty… weird. My smile strained under the pressure and I was deciding in my mind whether the dwarf was actually my saviour or not. As I was about to reply with something I probably would have regretted, the door creaked open, alarming everyone of a newcomer/latecomer. Hoho! Never knew that the creaky door function would save me. With a refreshed smile, I glanced at the newcomer/latecomer.

Instantly, my smile strained once more as I looked at a red-skinned clergyman. What’s more was that the so-called clergyman had an obvious ‘V’ on his forehead. A plagued slave is the envoy of the Church? Never in my entire life had I expected to meet a plagued slave-clergyman that was a special envoy of the Church. Even the thought of it seemed ridiculous. Yet, to think that it happened. Hahaha… Hey, if you’re gonna send a ‘special’ envoy, please make sure that this envoy won’t spread diseases everywhere.

“Good, good!” The baritone voice of the dwarf rung in my ears, threatening to collapse them. In barely masked annoyance, I gave a sideways glance to the dwarf that I decided was not my saviour. The dwarf was grinning like a child that found candy, bringing my eyes agony as I saw all the muck and grime stuck between his teeth. So dwarves suck at hygiene. Good to know! Then, the dwarf silently mouthed a word that I was able to lip read. Demon.

Demon? Hey, even if he’s plagued you shouldn’t call the dude a demon. Due to my dislike for the dwarf, I found it very fun to make a retort at every action he did (in my mind of course). Regrettably, I had to approach and welcome the plagued slave-clergyman because I was the (responsible) host. So I did—I walked (really) slowly. With every step, the chills on my back started appearing more frequently. Ho, please don’t infect me. Please don’t infect me. Please don’t infect me.

While saying my prayers, I finally reached the plagued slave-clergyman. Smiling amicably, I offered my left hand—the hand which had gloves. I was so lucky to have accidentally brought one glove. The plagued slave-clergyman looked at me with his pitch-black eyes and, annoyingly enough, didn’t seem to notice the gloved hand that was being presented. He tilted his head, putting me in a very awkward situation. Oh, piss off will ya’? I know you’re here to slight the kingdom but at least save me, the innocent pawn, some face, m’kay?

“Hahahaha…” Someone’s laughter rang out, dyeing my face red with embarrassment. Who did that? I’ll make sure to put you in my list of people I’ll kill before I die. The plagued slave-clergyman and I looked at the source of the laughter but, unlike me who stayed silent, he gave out replied with a “Lol”. I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant but I was pretty sure that it was an insult to the person who laughed. By the way, it was the dwarf.

I had the impulse to just yell “Yeah, beat it!” to the dwarf but I kept it in. Fortunately. Otherwise, my head would have been rolling on the floor and I sure didn’t want that to happen. Remembering my duties, I asked for the plagued slave-clergyman’s name. “I welcome you to my humble abode, Mr.?” That was my first attack—discounting my unintended ‘gloved hand’ attack—and I called it the ‘Dunno-who-you-are’ attack. I looked at him expectantly as if I was waiting for him to tell me his name.

… Plagued slave-clergyman, what are you doing?! Instead of answering me like a normal person, he ended up ignoring me, finding it better to ogle the food presented at the table. Feeling a vein popping up on my forehead, I smiled at the plagued slave-clergyman and inquired, “Do you want some food?” Again, the plague slave-clergyman said nothing. Seeing him ignoring my question, I took the initiative to walk to the table and grabbed the cheapest-looking blueberry muffin there; a plan I made up called ‘Cheap food’ attack. Then, I approached the plagued slave-clergyman and presented him the blueberry muffin. “For you.”

To my rising ire, the plagued slave-clergyman did not accept the blueberry muffin but instead pointed at a box of (really expensive) chocolates. Hahaha… You’re good. However, I wasn’t just about to give up. Pretending to mistake what he wanted, I went and got him a chocolate muffin that was beside the chocolates. When I handed out the chocolate muffin to him, the plagued slave-clergyman raised his brow. Yeah, beat it!

Probably annoyed, the plagued slave-clergyman just walked past me and reached the box of chocolates. With one fell swoop, all of the chocolates were in his mouth. Wha… “HAHAHA!” The dwarf’s laughter echoed everywhere. Oh, please…

*** *** ***

An excerpt from ‘A Brief Summary of the Things Before by H.B Ireal’

When the whole world was united under the banner of the Ivy Emperor, several ‘Miscreants’, as they were called at the time, waged civil wars all over the land. To fight and suppress the Miscreants, the Ivy Emperor ordered the apex of the mages, the Harbinger, to produce a spell that brought down the Miscreants. The Harbinger had spent fifteen days and nights until he had finally made a Grand Magic that essentially crushed the Miscreants. It was dubbed the Rebel Trials by the Harbinger.

The Rebel Trials were split into three parts or trials: the Isolation, the Scourge, and the Reaping. These first trial, the Isolation, at the time, guaranteed the annihilation of the Miscreants. The Ivy Emperor, impressed by the Harbinger, decided to award the Harbinger the title of the Grand Magus. Unfortunately, on the day of the awarding ceremony, a Miscreant by the name of Ursy had infiltrated the capital, Soun, and wreaked havoc. Ursy had transcended the first trial, giving him the title of the Isolated and power beyond anyone’s imagination. Ursy had managed to destroy Soun and a dozen cities before falling to the second trial, the Scourge, greatly weakening the Ivy Empire.

Though it seemed that the Rebel Trials were infallible, it had a devastating side effect. If the Miscreant had surpassed a trial, their prowess would have grown immensely even though they still had to suffer the next trial. Incensed, the Ivy Emperor ordered the Harbinger to be put to death. However, when the Harbinger heard of these plans, he had holed himself up in his castle, not leaving for seven days and seven nights. When the special corps of the Ivy Emperor breached the defences of the Harbinger’s castle, the Harbinger had emerged and announced, “Kill me and suffer. The Rebel Trials are now set in stone. None but I can remove it!”

The corps, confused at what to do, decided to capture the Harbinger instead of killing him as they kept his words in mind. On the way back to the new capital, Petrusi, an avalanche had buried the corps along with the Harbinger on the eastern foot of the Abruski crags. Thus, the Rebel Trials had continued on to this day. As for the fate of the Ivy Empire, several Miscreants that had passed certain trials carved the Empire up, disbanding it.

Now, the descendants of the so-called Miscreants rule the land. Like the Ivy Empire, they are forced to use Rebel Trials to keep new Miscreants—now called rebels—in check.

*** *** ***

“Hoh?” the little shrimp exclaimed in excitement, disturbing my precious reading time. “Geez, to think you’d own this. You know this is banned basically everywhere, right?” The little shrimp shoved the book that I was reading away only to show me “A Brief Summary of the Things Before”, a book I had already read. I looked at her, the little shrimp, with quizzical eyes. If she was going to ask me to read it out loud to her, I would’ve declined it lightning quick.

“Read it to me,” the little shrimp demanded, her cheeks puffed up like a disgusting squirrel. I shooed the book away and tersely replied with a “No.” To my vexation, she pouted and showed the start of a stream of tears. “Weawy?” At that moment, I knew that her tears were going to erupt so in order to stop that, I rushed to say, “Fine, I will.”

“Yay!” The little shrimp’s build up of tears immediately vanished. Kids these days…