《The Kissing Game》Chapter 18
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I led Axel to my room and thanked the lord my parents weren't home. After our last talk, I didn't want them near Axel. I didn't want them judging him wrongly. That was why I tried to keep Axel my little secret.
When we reached my room, I shut the door and noticed Axel sauntered to my bed. He flopped down on it and closed his eyes, suddenly looking exhausted. Unable to help it, I watched him for a moment, taking in how at peace he looked.
"Tired?" I asked once I realized I'd been staring for too long.
"Yeah," he said, opening his eyes and sitting up. "I haven't been sleeping lately."
"How come?"
He shrugged. "Reasons."
Axel ran his fingers through his hair and I stared at him, wondering. There was so much I didn't know about him and I wished that would change. Admittedly, a small part of me hoped we could become better acquaintances.
Going over to the bed, I sat next to Axel. He moved back to press his back against the headrest and I followed. When our shoulders brushed each other's I felt a jolt shoot through me and I blushed. Wanting to get rid of the feeling, I shook my head vigorously.
"What are you doing?" Axel asked, sounding confused.
My cheeks turned redder. "Uh, nothing. Sorry, let's start."
Pulling out my calculus textbook, I flipped to the chapter we were on. I grabbed a paper as well and felt a sudden excitement. Teaching was fun, especially with a student as curious as Axel. You would expect him to fool around and be uninterested, but surprisingly Axel was really into the lessons I gave him.
"So, should we start with lesson one of chapter four?" I asked, looking up at Axel.
I froze when I saw that Axel was staring at me intensely. His eyes looked oddly solemn on me, but there was something so raw. So unexplainable in his eyes, that left me speechless. Not knowing what to do, I just stared back at his blue eyes.
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"Do we have to study?" Axel asked after a bit, still staring at me.
"Um, yeah," I responded, confused. "That's why you're here, isn't it?"
Axel didn't say anything for a bit, but his eyes began to wander around my face. I gulped as he analyzed me and I felt uneasy. So uneasy that my heartbeat accelerated to a pace that worried me.
"Should we start?" I asked, looking away from Axel as I flushed.
"Let's just talk first," he said. "Come on."
He sounded tired and pleading all at once, so I found myself nodding. I didn't know why, but I didn't want him to strain himself.
"You're smart, kind, confident, and so much more," Axel said out of nowhere. "Did you know that?"
I frowned. "Sure?"
Looking back at him, I saw that he wore a small smile. But I also noticed the bags beneath his eyes that left me worried. Axel seemed different today and I knew it had to be because of his exhaustion.
"I love how you don't disagree," Axel said, closing his eyes briefly. "It's so rare to see a girl with confidence."
"There are tons of girls with confidence," I said.
"Not yours." He shook his head. "I have never met a girl who shows her real self like you."
I didn't say anything to that, confused. This topic was random and it left me thinking. Staring at Axel, I wondered where he was going with this.
"That's because of guys," I said. "Guys make girls feel worthless."
"Why are you an outlier than?" Axel asked. "Why don't guys affect you?"
"Because." My voice dropped to a whisper. "I couldn't care less about guys."
His voice dropped too. "All guys?"
"All."
Axel blinked at that and looked away. He seemed in a daze and I stared at him, wondering what in the world was wrong with him. Seriously worried about him, I opened my mouth to ask if he needed help, but suddenly, he was moving. He moved so quickly so that he was in front of me. His hands were on either side of me suddenly, holding the headrest as he kept his face near mine. His knees were at the sides of my stretched out legs and I couldn't help but blush at the intimate position we were in. Axel was almost crouched over me and he was so near that I could hear his oddly heavy breathing.
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"Are you sure all guys?" Axel asked, his voice surprisingly husky all of the sudden.
"Um, yeah," I said, feeling incredibly flustered.
"I think you're lying," he murmured.
He moved his body closer and his face neared mine, and in shock, I froze. To my utter surprise Axel's face suddenly went to my shoulder and I gasped as his lips brushed my collarbone. They were warm and I felt like my skin was burning from the touch.
"You sure," he mumbled, his hands going to my waist.
My heart was racing and it was terrifying. I had never been so close to a guy. I had never been touched by a guy like this. Remembering Mom's words, I panicked. Without thinking, I shoved Axel away from me. He flew back and was no longer touching me.
"What- What the hell!" I shouted, completely flustered, yet angry. "Didn't I tell you to never touch me?"
Axel didn't respond. He just stared at me with his blue eyes darker than usual. Staring directly at them, I realized his pupils were also bigger than usual.
"I can't believe you!" I continued to shout, freaked out. "You know I don't date! You know I would only touch my actual boyfriend, but you still touched me! You're definitely one of the guys I don't care about!"
Regret flashed before his eyes, but it was quickly concealed with a neutral expression. Axel then got up as I found myself trying to calm down. I couldn't focus and I needed him gone.
"Get out!" I yelled, pointing at the door. "Now!"
Without any hesitation, he obeyed. Swiftly, he left my room and didn't return, leaving me sitting in bed, wondering what happened. I couldn't believe he touched me like that. He of all people should know my values by now. I couldn't help but want to yell at him some more for that.
As I continued to rage about Axel, I suddenly heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was Axel, I groaned and narrowed my eyes.
"Get out," I hissed. "I don't want to see you."
"Zoey!" Mom exclaimed from behind the door. "I just want to talk."
I blushed, feeling embarrassed. That was awkward and I wondered if Mom was mad.
"Sorry," I said, looking down. "Come in."
Mom opened the door and the first thing I noticed was her sympathetic expression. Somehow she knew about what happened and that left me feeling ashamed. Looking down, I waited for her to tell me she told me so.
"I saw Axel rush off," Mom said gently, standing in front of my bed. "Did something happen?"
I didn't respond. The answer was obvious and remembering her words, I felt stupid. How could I have trusted Axel when my own mom didn't.
"I told you he's no good," Mom said, causing me to sigh. "Boys are no good."
"I know." My throat tightened. "Sorry Mom."
Although I should just feel angry, I felt oddly sad as well. I was disappointed and I hated myself for ever believing in Axel. He wasn't someone you should trust, but I did. Thinking he was different from other guys, I had hoped that maybe he could be something to me. Those thoughts were new to me and frustrated, I stared at Mom with sad eyes. She rushed over to me and hugged me, and I realized my family was all I need. Hannah and them were all I needed to focus on from now on.
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