I almost hated myself for believing Axel wasn't an arrogant jerk. When he was alone with me, I now knew the way he acted must've been an act. It had to be when compared to way he acted yesterday. And if I were to be completely honest, it almost hurt. It was bothersome for sure and as I sat in English class, I tried to distract myself.

Knowing anger was the best way to heal a wounded heart, I let it seep through me and smiled as I saw some guys staring at me. They grinned back and I knew this was the distraction I needed. As I ignored Axel, I decided to focus on the other guys who could possibly win my heart.

One of the guys from the group approached me, wearing a smile. I smiled back and watched as he took Hannah's seat, since she wasn't here yet. He looked excited and I was touched. Although, I still couldn't help but find it peculiar that my peers could go from despising me to flirtatious like this.

"Hey Zoey," said the guy who I knew was named Archer. "I don't think we've spoken much and I'm wondering why now."

"Hey." I smiled. "Tell me about yourself."

And Archer did. He told me about himself and about the future he awaited. With delight written across his face, he spoke for five minutes and I listened attentively. I could tell he was a nice guy and that he had traits I would like in a guy, but yet, I found myself wanting to back away from him. My heart was racing for no reason at all, and it was almost like I was scared. I had no idea why, so forced those thoughts away.

Soon Hannah came and Archer got up to let her sit down. The gesture was sweet and as he left with a goodbye, I placed a hand on my racing heart. It was still pumping with nerves and I wondered why. Why was I randomly scared?

"So, Archer," Hannah said, sitting next to me. "He's hot and sweet. I'd get at him if I were you."

"Not my type." I shrugged, half lying. "I don't think I'd be interested."

Hannah sighed and shook her head. "What is your type?"

I didn't say anything because I didn't have an answer. I was one of the few teenagers who had never had a crush, which meant I didn't have a type. Actually, it seemed like I had no type. And because of that I mentally wished my peers good luck. Their task was a hard one.

"I don't know," I finally said. "I honestly have no idea if I could ever love."

"Is it because you don't want to or you can't?" Hannah asked.

Once again, I didn't reply. I wasn't sure of the answer and I suddenly wondered about myself.

*****

I smiled at my classmate, Drew, who offered to hold my books. Only because he was one of the quiet boys, I let him and noticed that a bunch of other guys were staring at me. I walked through the hallway to my locker and at my locker, I felt their eyes on me and I realized they were analyzing me, trying to figure out how to win my heart. And if I were to be completely honest, it made me uncomfortable.

As I pulled out the books I needed, I thought of how much attention I received from having the kiss. I had always been the girl no one realized was in their class, but suddenly I was the girl everyone knew about. And right now, I was the girl every guy wanted. Some girls would do anything to be in my place, but I would give it away in a heartbeat.

Feeling overwhelmed, I took my books from Drew, thanked him, and scurried through the hallways. I needed fresh air, so I quickly exited the building and stepped onto the empty field at the back of the school. It was peaceful and with the weather so nice, I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

The kiss had changed my life so quickly and vastly, and it also made me question myself. I kept wondering about my views on love and about my views on boys - specifically one boy - and now I was left to wonder if I really knew myself. I always thought I did, but now I began to question it.

"Zoey," I heard a boy say behind me, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I opened my eyes and turned to see who had spoken, and immediately narrowed my eyes at who I saw. Axel was staring at me, his eyes gentle, and I told myself that this was an act. He didn't care about me - he cared about the kiss.

So turning back around, I began to walk off. I kept my head held high and tried to think of other things as I walked across the field. But to my annoyance, I heard footsteps behind me.

"Zoey," Axel said again, close behind.

I still ignored him. I knew that if I ignored him long enough, he would get bored and leave. So quickening my pace, I hoped it would happen fast.

"Zoey!" he exclaimed, seeming frustrated. "Why are you ignoring me?"

Leave me alone, I pleaded mentally. Staring at the ground, I tried counting to ten. I told myself to remain calm before I would explode and let out all my feelings.

Suddenly, I was grabbed by the arm and pulled back. I nearly crashed into Axel's chest and angrily, I yanked my arm away from him and stepped away. Glowering, I watched as Axel stared at me, surprised.

"Don't touch me!" I snapped.

"Why... Why are you ignoring me?" Axel asked, looking hurt.

"Because I hate you!" I shouted, hating myself for letting my feelings pour out. "Ugh! You're so arrogant and self-absorbed. All you care about is the kiss. I know that's the only reason you try to be nice to me."

"Zoey, that's not true..."

"Really?" I crossed my arms over my chest. "Is that why you embarrassed me yesterday? Why you were so sure that I and every other girl is in love with you?"

Axel seemed taken aback for a second, but that look was quickly replaced with a pleading expression. Unable to bare it, I looked away and hoped I could stay mad at him. I needed to stay mad at him before I ended up losing to someone who didn't deserve to win.

"I..." Axel seemed lost for words. "Zoey, you don't understand. I say a lot of things I don't mean. It's not to hurt you or anyone."

"Doesn't mean it's okay," I shot back.

"I know." He sighed. "I know, but please understand that the way I acted... Isn't the real me. It's... Complicated."

"You've been like this since we were young. I know who you are."

"No you don't." His eyes held a sudden sadness that caught me off guard. "No one does. But get to know me and I think you'll really like the real me."

I stared at him, surprised by how serious he sounded. His voice was filled with yearning and it sounded like he really wanted this, but I didn't know why. And because of that, I assumed it was just so that I could fall for him and thus give him the kiss. There was no way I would do that.

"No Axel," I said, staring at his blue, hopeful eyes. "It's pointless. It's a waste of time because I doubt I'll fall in love anytime soon. I'm doing you a favour by telling you this."

"I don't care," he said, his voice gentle. "You don't need to love me. Just get to know me and I'll be happy."

Seeing Axel like this was mind blowing. I had never seen the guy who was always so confident look so vulnerable, which made my decision falter. I sighed at that and knew with him I was incredibly stubborn. Knowing that, I wondered why.

"Maybe," I said. "I don't know."

"And that's fine." He gave me a small smile. "I'll be patient."

I stared at Axel and knew I really didn't know him. There were so many different sides of him and I couldn't help but wonder which sides were the real him. Who was Axel and why was he always the first person I noticed in our school?