I knew that it was going to be hard to try and kill myself. I also knew that, the longer I left it, the more difficult it was going to become. Like all the Hue characteristics, as time went past, they grew stronger and stronger. It was the same for the healing, and the longer I left it, the quicker I would heal. If I left it too late it would be harder to kill myself and I couldn't let myself lose my conscience before I could go through with it. I didn't want to be stuck living as a monster and having no control over it.

Anne was away for the weekend. She'd made plans to see an old high school friend who stayed in a town nearby.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" she'd asked.

"I'll be fine," I'd assured her. I doubted there was anything out there, human or not, that was more evil than what I was about to become.

I'd practically helped her pack and pushed her out the door, telling her to enjoy her trip. Her absence would give me a break from trying to keep my secret.

While sitting in the kitchen eating a sandwich, my eyes fell to the knife I'd used to cut the tomatoes. For a few minutes I set my half-eaten sandwich down as I kept my gaze transfixed on the knife. It was one thing to think about what I was going to do but to actually go through it was something entirely different.

Something I didn't quite understand propelled me to stand and walk over to the knife. Maybe it was the fear that I wouldn't be strong enough to do it. I picked it up and washed it before I walked upstairs to my bedroom with the knife still clutched in my hand.

I think I was scared of the pain it would entail when I stopped myself and, by confronting it now, I was making peace with the fear so when I had to do it I wouldn't hesitate.

Even though I healed quickly, it wouldn't stop the pain. This was going to hurt.

In my bathroom I put the knife down on the counter and stripped down to my underwear. I picked up the knife and climbed into the bath. I didn't want blood all over the floor of the bathroom.

Sitting in the bath, I held the knife in my right hand and held my left wrist out. I took a deep breath as I felt the knife against my skin. Before I could lose my nerve, I squeezed my eyes shut and cut my wrist as deep as I could.

I gasped.

The pain was unbearable and I bit down on my lip to keep from screaming. Tears of pain squeezed from my eyes and I opened them to watch the blood flow out of the deep cut on my wrist and onto my stomach. Hesitantly I lay back in the bath and closed my eyes.

One deep breath in and one breath out, I was trying to breathe through the pain. I began to feel lightheaded as the blood poured from the cut, and I became weaker. Despite the pain, I felt a weird relief that I would be strong enough to do this properly when the time came.

"Ava." It was Jared. I sat up, my right hand covering the cut as I held my breath, hoping he'd think I wasn't home. Then I remembered the tracker. He would know I was here.

What the hell was he doing in my house? He shouldn't be here.

I tried to get up but I felt my head swim. He knocked on the bathroom door.

"Ava, are you in there?" he asked. I tried to keep quiet so that he would go away, but I accidentally knocked the knife that was lying on the side of the tub into the bath. The metal against the bath made enough noise to alert Jared to the fact that I was in the bathroom.

"Ava, are you okay?" I could hear nervousness in his voice.

"I'm fine," I replied as calmly as I could even though my heart sped up with the fear of being discovered. "Go away."

There was a minute or two of silence and I thought he might have actually left.

"Open the door," he said in a firm voice. He didn't believe me.

My wrist throbbed and I bit down on my lip to help deal with the pain. I had no idea how much blood I'd lost, but I felt so weak.

"Go away," I said with a hoarse voice as panic set in.

He was going to open the door and see me like this.

"I'm coming in," he told me as I heard the door handle turn.

There was no hiding now.

"What the hell!" he said when he filled the doorway. In seconds he was beside the bath, taking my cut wrist into his hand. I gasped in pain as his hand wrapped around the cut to block off the blood flow. His eyes scanned my body for any more injuries. There was so much blood, and I closed my eyes for a moment.

"What have you done?" he rasped as he inspected my cut before he wrapped his hand on it again. Warmth from his hand radiated through the open wound on my wrist. He was healing me.

His eyes searched mine as his energy healed my wrist. I closed my eyes. Tired and weak, I welcomed the darkness when it came.

*******

When I pulled myself from the darkness, I blinked a couple of times when I opened my eyes, trying to figure out where I was. The morning sunlight shone in through the window and I recognized the room as Jared's straight away. How had I gotten here? I tried to sit up but I was too weak. My wrist throbbed. I lifted my arm and saw that my wrist was bandaged.

The final few minutes of what had happened flooded back. The blood, Jared's horrified expression. There was no way to explain myself out of this.

Closing my eyes I let out a heavy breath. This hadn't been part of my plan. I opened my eyes again and looked down to see I was wrapped in a sheet with a blanket over it. Tentatively I lifted the blanket and sheet and saw I was still dressed in my underwear. The sheet I was wrapped in was red with my blood. It brought the memory of what I'd done back. I knew I had lost so much blood, but seeing the sheet covered nearly entirely in the red of my blood hit me hard. I dropped my head back onto the pillow.

It was then that I noticed I wasn't alone.

My eyes found Jared sitting in a chair in the corner of the room a few feet away from the side of the bed I was lying in. Silently, he watched me. He was still wearing the same clothes that he'd worn when he'd found me and he was still covered in dried blood. There was even a smear of blood on his face.

He didn't say anything as my eyes met his. I didn't say anything either. I swallowed my nervousness as he remained still. His face was expressionless. Had he discovered my secret, or was he still mystified as to why he'd found me the way he had?

I dragged my eyes away from him, unable to leave myself open to his piercing gaze.

"Why?" he asked.

I couldn't answer. I needed to know how much he knew before I could answer that question, so I remained quiet. I heard him stand up and walk over to me.

"Why did you do it, Ava?" he asked softy. I still didn't know how much he knew, so I kept my gaze fixed on the curtains of his room just behind him, unable to look directly at him.

His hand reached for the blanket that covered me and he ripped it off me. My eyes shot to his eyes, which were dark with rage. He reached for my arm and dragged me out of the bed. I clutched at the sheet I was still wrapped in as I stumbled out of the bed. He dragged me over to the full-length mirror in the corner of his room nearby the window and held me in front of it. He stood behind me as our eyes connected through the mirror.

"Why did you do it, Ava?" he asked fiercely as he held my arms. He released my one arm to grab the sheet and pull it away from my body. Exposed and vulnerable, I stood looking at my reflection in the mirror.

My underwear was still covered in my blood. Dried red blood covered nearly my entire body. I tried to avert my gaze because I didn't want to see it but, with his fingers to my chin, he forced me to face my reflection in the mirror.

"Why?" he yelled at me. Tears stung my eyes before I dropped my head into my hands. His one hand was still loosely wrapped around my arm.

"Tell me why?" he repeated, his voice softer, almost pleading.

I pulled away from him and I stumbled forward slightly. I turned to face him, and saw his eyes fixed on me, waiting for an answer to his question. Didn't he know what I was? Hadn't he realized that I was a monster? Tears started to slide down my cheeks.

"I don't understand why you would do that," he said, as he reached to hold me by the arms while his eyes searched mine for answers.

I couldn't tell him. He would hate me. I swallowed the overwhelming emotion building up inside of me.

"Tell me," he shouted and I felt the full wave of his anger hit me. His eyes seemed brighter as they bore into me. He shook me slightly in frustration. Anger welled up inside of me and I ripped my arms from his hands.

"Because I'm a monster!" I yelled back. My breathing was hard as I took in his shocked expression.

Energy began to swirl around me and I could feel the anger about to overflow inside of me as my hair whipped across my face.

Realization finally dawned in his features. He understood.