Josh starts to collect our books as the bell rings, I'm just really glad that algebras over. I honestly didn't remember a single thing that was taught, Mr Johnson even called my mom once and recommended that I get tutoring. Deep down he just doesn't like that I don't answer him when he speaks to me.

I pack away my stuff before picking up my bag and getting up, "Grace"

I look up before raising my eyebrows a little, Josh looks like he has a lot to say.

"I just-.... Happy birthday"

I smile a little, "Thanks"

I'm surprised I was even able to get that one word out without stuttering.

As I lift up my bag he speaks once again, "I also wanted to ask what your doing later"

That one took me by surprise

"Oh I uhh...I'm sort of....- I mean I-

"We're having a sleepover" Jessica intervenes

Thank god for the save

Josh nods slowly before picking up the textbook that I was using, "Have fun I guess"

I watch as he walks away with a feeling of guilt, I just didn't know what to say. I sigh as Jessica and I walk out of class, "Hey at least you said thank you"

"That does not make me feel any better"

"Grace you don't even like him in that way" She says amused

"I still feel bad"

She opens her locker, "We all know you want Caleb-

I widen my eyes, "Say that any louder would you"

My best friend smiles a little, "Fine, no boy talk. What's the the plan for tonight"

"Well my moms away so you know what that means"

"Oooh thirteen going on twenty, I like it"

I grin, "Me too"

**

I toss my bag onto the couch before walking into the bar, it's stocked up with drinks since nobody comes in here. "What are we thinking"

I look through the cupboards, "I hear vodkas good"

"We can't forget the lime" Jess reminds me

I pick up a few shot glasses before pushing open the door with my foot and heading for the stairs, "Bring the bottles"

Thankfully the house was empty when we got back, Julia doesn't work on Tuesdays so that just makes things even more better for Jess and I. I've only tried alcohol twice, one time at a restaurant -I snuck some of my moms- and once at Caleb's house a few weeks ago, I still remember the day clearly

"Aaron always leaves a few drinks whenever he comes to see us"

I follow him into the basement and he shuts the door, "What about your parents?-

He snorts, "Trust me, they won't come down"

I watch as Caleb twists the cap off of his brothers whiskey before setting a glass down, I scrunch my nose as he lifts the bottle towards me. "It smells funny"

"It smells amazing" He corrects

I watch as Caleb pours some into the glass, "Is drinking the only thing you've tried?"

"I've tried weed"

I widen my eyes as I scoff, "Your fourteen"

"Trust me Grace. Once you try that shit there's no going back"

He then hands me the glass and I take it before mistakenly downing the whole thing in one go, he laughs as I start to cough. "Oh God that burns"

I then hit him on the shoulder, "You could've warned me"

He starts to calm down from his laughter, "Nah it's cute seeing you get all disgusted over alcohol"

I went red

**

I smile at the birthday card mom left for me before putting it aside. I wish she were here right now but she had to leave for a business trip with grandpa, I honestly don't think she wanted to go but she'll be back tomorrow I'm pretty sure.

"Alright so I wanted to try Whiskey too, I bought both"

I scrunch my face, "I'll stick with vodka"

As Jessica continues to talk to me I kind of zone out, not because she's boring me but because my stomach is starting to hurt, the pains been coming and going all day. I don't know, it feels like I'm being stabbed multiple times.

Probably something I ate

"Grace"

"Hmm?"

"I said did you want a lime?"

"Oh um.... Yeah pour me a shot too, I'll be back"

Jessica frowns, "What's wrong"

"Nothing I gotta piss"

"TMI" She mutters before turning on her phone

I shut the bathroom door behind me before locking it and unbuttoning my jeans, why my birthday of all days. I was so ready to go ahead and blame my stomach pains on the schools pizza, but then I saw red on my underwear and I automatically froze. "Crap"

-

A chill day is exactly what I needed. For the past few days my one year old has been keeping me up on my feet -whilst Carter was working-, he's one of those babies that feel the need to be carried at all times. Anyway today has been a good day, I managed to put Thiago to sleep and he's been out for two hours so far.

"I will never understand the excitement of football"

Carter and I have been in bed for about half an hour, I wanted to watch something on Netflix but he insisted on football so here we are. He's so focused on the tv that I think he's forgotten I'm here, "I wanna watch Friends"

"You've seen that shit a hundred times" He finally responds

"Well then I'd like for my husband to give me attention"

He gives me a kiss before lying back once more, "Twenty minutes" He promises

I roll my eyes before leaning over to the nightstand, I then answer my phone as I lie against the headboard. "Hey babe"

My husband frowns at me, "Is now a bad time?" Grace asks

"Never, what's up?"

She sighs, "I have.... A situation"

I sit up, "Did someone get you pregnant?"

"Who is it?" Carter mouths

I ignore him, "No it's quite the opposite actually"

I frown, "I'm lost"

"Please don't make me say it"

"Your gonna have to"

"My ovaries have been stabbed" Grace informs me

I gasp, "Oh shittt this is so exciting. Obviously not for you.... But for me it is-.... Wait who's at home?"

"It's just me and Jess"

"Have you told her?"

"No it's embarrassing, I've locked myself in the bathroom"

My face softens, "Trust me it's not. She's either going through the same thing or she'll have to eventually"

"Can you come?"

"Sure, it's not like I'm doing anything important anyway" I give a side eye as I say this

"Is that Grace?"

"Maybe"

"Please hurry" She pleads

"Don't worry I got you, until then just tell Jessica your throwing up"

"Got it"

"And happy birthday"

"Thanks" She replies before ending the call

Carter looks at me expectantly, "What's going on"

I lift up the comforter, "I'll be back"

"Why?"

"Grace got her period"

He goes quiet and I finally look back at him, "Aren't you going to say anything?"

He clears his throat before picking up the remote and I narrow my eyes, "Funny, you didn't have this reaction with me"

"That's different.... Your my spouse"

I look at him amused, "Are you disgusted"

"No"

I lift Thiago up out of his cradle as he starts to wake up, "Cool, well me and T are going"

"Wait what about me?"

Our son wipes his eyes as he lies on me, "I mean I don't think your man enough to handle it-

He gets out of bed, "I show you how manly I am every night don't get it twisted"

I smile at my use of reverse psychology before kissing Thiago on the head, "Let's go see aunt Grace"

-

I hear another knock on the door and I close my eyes with guilt, "You sure your ok!"

"Yeah I'll be down in a sec!"

"Well Carmens here"

I open my eyes immediately, "Tell her I'm upstairs"

Silence

"Ok!" Jessica finally responds

After about a minute or so I heard footsteps, and then a door knock. "Grace it's me-

I open it immediately before dragging her in and locking the door behind her, "Finally"

"You know, I still don't see what was wrong with telling Jess"

"She hasn't started hers yet"

"Huh, well anyway I got you a few things" She puts down a bag before taking out a few snacks and drinks, then she walks over to the mirror cabinet before taking out a box of tampons and pads

"Ok so I'm pretty sure you know what these are for"

I nod

"However I heard that tampons aren't that healthy so I don't recommend using those" She puts them back

Carmen showed me which way up I'm supposed to put the pad on -larger side towards the end- and basically explained everything about periods to me, the thing is I knew quite a bit already but I didn't think I'd get mine until fifteen.

Anyway after showering I took a few pain killers and headed downstairs, where the others are.

Jessica turns around with Thiago in her arms, "You ok?"

"Yeah.... Never eating school food again" I joke

My brother frowns, "But I thought you-

Carmen hits him on the shoulder and he shuts up instantly, "Whatever, I'm watching football" He murmurs before going into the front room

"I noticed shot glasses" She then says as she takes Thiago from Jess

I wave it off. "Oh yeah, mom left them on the island"

She wipes dribble away from my nephews mouth with amusement, "Your mom doesn't drink vodka, you can't fool me"

"Ok fine we were gonna try" Jessica gives in

"Dude" I scoff

"What she's the cool one" She defends

"Indeed I am" Carmen agrees

"Mama" Thiago looks up at her and she hands him a phone case

"However Carter is a bit iffy when it comes to drinking so it's gotta be secretive and you guys can only have a little"

"Aw I thought we were getting drunk"

"I'm cool not irresponsible"

We can forget about that sentence because the night took a turn. Jessica and I tried one shot each, newsflash.... We hated it. I just don't understand how people can find pleasure in drinking, it's horrible and sickening. Then there's my sister in law who I completely forgot loves vodka to death, it's her favourite poison. The bottom line is, she's drunk and we're not.

"Carter will be back soon" Jessica says wearily

She wipes her mouth, "Carter this Carter that, all he cares about is stupid football. He won't realise that I'm drunk"

"Are you sure you don't want any water?" I try

She sighs as she sits at the island, "No"

"You drank the whole bottle-

"Is that normal?" Jess frowns

"I doubt it"

"Maybe she should rest"

"Yeah no shit"

"Gracie did you use tampons or pads"

I go still, "What is she talking about" Jess says amused

Carmen narrows her eyes as she looks through a selection of unopened bottles of alcohol, "I told her not to go with tampons" She frowns as she opens a bottle of whiskey

My best friend looks back at me, "Did you start your period and not tell me?"

"Uhhh surprise?" I say nervously

"Oh my god I knew you weren't sick" She scoffs

Carmen snorts, "Sick my ass"

"I just didn't know what to tell you"

A glass drops onto the floor and my sister in law frowns, "Was that me?"

"We'll talk later"

I nod in agreement before Jess goes over to the sink, "C maybe you should lie down-

"Do you think your brother still loves me?"

"Uhhh yeah why wouldn't he"

"He's just a bitch sometimes" She mumbles

"Trust me, he does not stop talking about you when you aren't around" I say amused

She lies her head against the table, "I'll take that water now Jessie"

"Did she just call me Jessie?" She mouths as she sets a glass down, I smile a little before nodding

"What exactly is going on?" My brother walks in with Thiago in his arms, they both stare at the broken glass as he sets down his car keys

I push the bottles aside, "Oh nothing we were just talking while you were gone-

"Awww my baby" Carmen gives T a big kiss on the cheek and he giggles before holding onto Carters neck

"What happened here?"

She frowns as she looks down at the floor, "I don't know-

"Carmen was actually about to have a rest" Jessica intervenes

"No I want my phone-... shit where is it-

"You smell of vodka" Carter says to her

"Yeah because I drank a whole bottle, duh"

His face drops and he looks back at us two, "You guys let her drink a whole bottle....- do you know how dangerous that is?!-

"Hey we didn't know" Jessica defends

"And it's not our fault that your not nice enough to her" I chime in

"What are you even talking about"

We hear a trip in the front room and my brother sighs before handing Thiago to me, "Carmen let me help you"

"Maybe now would be a good time to put on a movie" Jess says amused

"Good idea"

Thiago tries to eat my hair, "I'm not your mothers boobie"

He grips onto it as I carry him all the way to the living room, Jessica looks back as I sit down. "Need any help!"

"No it's ok!" Carter shouts back

We shrug at each other before reaching for the snacks that we bought earlier and sitting back, "What should we watch T?"

My nephew does nothing but make those weird baby sounds and dribble, "Movie marathon it is"

Jess laughs

**

I wake up randomly before frowning at my phone, the time reads 1:45

As I look besides me I notice Jess and Thiago still sleeping peacefully beside each other, I smile to myself before slowly getting out of bed. One of the reasons I hate waking up in the middle of the night is because my throat always feel so dry, now I need a glass of water.

The house is dark except for the other front room, I can see a shadow of one of the lights. After getting my water I slowly open the door, I notice Carmen lying on the couch asleep and my brother sitting besides her on his phone. "Your still awake?"

He looks back at me with a frown, "Yeah but why are you?"

I sit down before shrugging, "Can't sleep"

"Must be a Miller thing"

"Must be" I agree

"Grace"

"Yeah?"

"Earlier you said something"

I narrow my eyes with confusion

"About me not being nice"

"Oh I was kidding-

"No you weren't, what did you mean" My brother asks

"Carter I was joking"

"Grace" He says seriously

I sigh as I look back at Carmen, "Nothing I just... she asked me if I think you still loved her"

He frowns, "Why would she think I didn't"

"Look I know I'm just a kid but from what I can tell girls are more clingy than guys. Maybe sometimes you just forget to reassure her and besides, it's something she'll need..... especially after everything she's gone through" I say the last part quietly

"Yeah your right"

My brother never agrees with me, this is suspicious.

I frown, "I am?"

Carter smiles sadly, "You know the other day I caught her with a scale"

"What?"

He nods as he looks down at her, "She went back to weighing her food"

"To count the C word?"

My brother nods again, "When I had a talk with her she cried"

I can see a shield of tears in his eyes as he stares at the fireplace, "She said she's been feeling like shit ever since she had T, she can't stop looking at her body with disgust"

When I was younger I didn't really understand anything that was happening with Carmen, all I was told was that she was a picky eater. But then as I grew she explained it all to me herself, we were having one of those deep conversations like I'm having with my brother now. It's weird though because not once have I ever looked at it from his point of view, it affects him too but I think he tries not to show it.

"What happened after" I ask quietly

"She's been seeing Dr Gomez again, I think it's been helping"

Relief settles inside of me, "I'm glad"

"Thank you Grace"

I frown as I look back at him, "For what?"

"For having this conversation with me"

"I don't understand"

He smiles a little, "I can't talk about this with mom or Aaron, they'd start stepping on egg shells around me and C. Whereas with you I know it'll stay the same"

"Even on your deathbed I'd be a bitch" I say amused

He rolls his eyes as I lie on him, "She'll be ok"

He kisses me on the head, "I hope so"

I smile before staring at the fireplace

🤎

😘