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Honestly, I don't know if there's anyway I could get the old Carter back. This goes beyond just changing overnight, there's a reason why he's acting like this.... I need to find out, so of course I asked Zoe.

So he really did change over night then

I hear a loud cluttering come from the kitchen, "What are you doing?"

Santi shrugs, "Making food"

I roll my eyes before turning on the tv, "Just clean up when your done"

"Yeah yeah"

"Where are we again?" I hear a tired voice

Santi scoffs as he stands by the front door, "What the fuck?", Sienna walks in with Enzo's arm around her neck

"He turned up at my house wasted" She grunts before sitting him down on the couch beside me

"Carmen?" Enzo frowns

"My god you reek of alcohol" I scrunch my nose with disgust

"What happened?" Santi says confused

"Someone had too much to drink at a college party" Sienna says annoyed, my brother pulls her down onto his lap

"Stay" He murmurs

"No I've got to get home" She ruffles his hair before getting up and he frowns

"Si Si-

She gives him a kiss on the head, "Love you, call me tomorrow morning"

He lays down beside me before humming in response, "Alright I'm out, see you tomorrow" She says to me, I wave.

As the door closes I look down at my brother, "Why would you come home, dads gonna kill you" I say amused

"Missed you guys" Enzo mumbles tiredly

I half smile, "How's college?"

"Shit, how's school"

I shrug, "It's ok"

"Eliza say anything?"

"Nope" I reply

"Good" He closes his eyes and I lie my head down next to him before pressing play on Netflix

-

"Honestly, I can't wait for you to get a car" Lola mutters as we come down the stairs

Yeah dads dropping us to school today, it's annoying cause we're always waiting for at least one of our siblings.

"Don't worry, I've saved"

I've been saving the money that I made whilst working at Camille's cafe, I want a jeep. My sister smiles before following me out of the house, "Is Enzo still here?"

Dad sighs, "Yes.... But I'm gonna let your mother deal with him" He replies before starting to drive

Damn

"L you figured out what your gonna do for your birthday yet?" Santi asks

"Not have a quince, as I said before"

"Your mothers not gonna be happy about that" Dad replies

"Yeah well it's my birthday and I wanna go out with my friends" Lola says annoyed

Santi snorts, "Good luck with that"

"Shut up"

"Maybe you can compromise" Dad suggests

"Daddy we both know that there's no compromising with mom, she thinks she's god sometimes" My sister mutters the last part of her sentence and he just sighs

One thing I hate about the way dad drives is that he's fast, when it's just us we prefer to drive slow so that we can end up being late... he just didn't get the memo. We say our goodbyes before getting out of the car, he's working tonight so we'll see him tomorrow

Lola says bye to us before walking over to her friends, Santi and I head inside. "You spoken to Carter?"

I just knew that this question was coming

I open my locker, "Yes.... But we haven't fixed anything"

"Do you want to?"

"I don't know.... Yes"

"So why aren't you trying to call or text him?" He says amused

For starters, I don't have his new number

"It doesn't look like he wants it to be fixed"

Santiago snorts, "Of course he does, he's just checking to see if you care"

I frown, "Well then this is an extremely weird way of checking"

"Remember when you had your Ed? No matter what was happening with you guys he always checked on you, now it's like he doesn't want you to give up on him"

For once my brother actually made sense. But it's not that easy, it's not like the movies where I can just turn up at his house and have one conversation that'll put our relationship back on track, "He got my name tattooed" I suddenly say

He raises his eyebrows, "What for real?"

I nod, "He got it when he was drunk-.... But don't tell anyone Santi"

"Carmen if that isn't love then I don't know what to tell you"

Love is a bit dramatic

"Santi!" A girl calls out from the end of the hallway, he turns back and she gestures for him to come over

I stop him, "We're skipping first period"

My brother snorts, "Why?"

"Because I'm sad and I need my brother" I reply

He throws an arm around my shoulder, "I knew I was your favourite-.....Call me later" He says to the girl before walking away with me

~*~

Ok to put it this way we basically skipped all our classes today, I mean after the first period we figured that the school thought we weren't here so we just hid in the school gym and basically talked for the whole time, he's my little therapist.

Adri scoffs as she walks out the building, "Where the heck were you guys?"

I shield my eyes from the sun, "School gym" I say amused

"You could've invited me" Our sister pouts

"Next time"

Our attention is then drawn to the brunette with puffy eyes trudging out of the school, "Hey" I frown

"What's wrong?" Santiago asks

Lola zips up her hoodie, "Nothing"

"It doesn't look like nothing" Adriana replies

Now my first thought would've been period, but she's been a little quiet for the past few days.... Almost as if she's hiding something

Our sister puts up her hood, "Can we just go"

I've been down that road before, where people ask you what's wrong and you say nothing. I was miserable for four years and I'm not about to let my little sister go through the same thing, "Lola" I say softly

"I already said it's nothing" She says annoyed before walking ahead

The three of us exchange looks, "Period?" Santi questions

"I hope so" Adriana replies

When we got back home Enzo was there which isn't even surprising to me anymore, It's like he never moved out of this house in the first place, "Hey"

"Hey" I reply

He watches as Lola heads upstairs before looking back at me, "What happened?"

I take off my shoes, "No idea I'm gonna try and find out"

"So what did mom say?" Adri asks him

He shrugs as he pours a bowl of cereal, "The usual, don't do it again. I was too high to care"

I smile a little before heading up the stairs, it's typical Enzo.

The road to loneliness is a pretty long and exhausting one. It all starts with the isolation, then your room becomes your home and suddenly your tired all the time. Then your either at the house or your not.... I just hope that's not the case with Lola

I knock on my sisters door, "What"

"It's just me"

She doesn't reply and I take that as a sign for me to come in, Lola's lying down on the bed with her phone. I sit at the edge, "Hey"

She waves lazily

"Is everything ok?"

All I get is a simple nod

"So.... What was that all about?" I question

"Nothing" My sister mumbles

"Lola I was miserable for four years, I invented nothing"

She looks up at the ceiling, "It's nothing life threatening if that's what your worried about"

I relax a little on the inside, "Did someone say something to you?" I ask softly

"C not today, please"

"I just wanna make sure your ok-

"I'm ok.... I just don't want to talk" Lola replies

I nod slowly, "Alright... I'll leave you be"

I know how hard it is for people to talk, but at the same time I would've thought that Lola would be able to tell me what's happening. I'm gonna make it my mission to find out

~*~

Night" Matteo says

"Night" I reply, he shuts my door

I lie back against the pillow before letting out a sigh, the house is quiet now so I know everyone's asleep. It's around midnight and once again, tiredness just doesn't want to come to me. I think it's mostly because of how worried I am about my sister, I mean maybe it's just boy problems and she wants to deal with it on her own.... Or maybe it's worse. For some reason it just makes me think about my depressing times at recovery

I hear literally nothing except for the sounds of knives and forks scraping plates, it's depressing. "Here" Kayla slides a glass of orange juice over to me but I shake my head

"Carmen I understand that your upset about being readmitted but you need to eat" Serenity says seriously

I snort, "Why?"

Jack looks at me and so does Meghan, "You know why" She replies

"There's literally no point, I won't gain and none of us will..-hell we're all being given false truths. You eat and you get to go home...It's bullshit"

"Stop" Meghan says quietly

"You were dripped Megs, do you not see?-

"Carmen" Jack warns

Tears shield my eyes as I look at her, "We're never leaving" I whisper

Everyone looks at Meghan as she sinks back into her seat, "That was mean" Jada tells me

"No it's the fucking truth, and you all need to grow up"

I slide my chair out from underneath the table before going upstairs

-

Yeah I had my ups and downs, that was probably the worst night ever. But I think I was more upset about how the one person I wanted to talk to didn't want to talk to me at all, it was part of what made me so mad that day.

My thoughts are distracted from my buzzing phone on the nightstand, I lean over before picking it up

I frown

And before I know it, my phone is now suddenly ringing. I answer it knowingly, "Carter?"

"C"

"Yes?"

"Can you come" He mumbles

"I'm confused"

"I miss you"

I sit up, "Are you drunk?"

"Just a little bit" Carter replies

I sigh as I rub my head, "Carter I can't just turn up at your house-

"I'm outside"

I widen my eyes with shock, "What?"

"I'm outside your house.... Can you let me in?" He pleads

Oh my god

"I just-.... Why would you come here?" I say confused

"Because"

I sigh, "Carmen" He says quietly

I get out of the comforter before wiping my eyes, "Yeah ok give me a sec"

I quickly put on my sliders before leaving my room and going down the stairs, "Where are you?-

"I'm coming" I reply as I turn the lock on the front door. I set my phone down before pulling quietly on the door, there stands Carter in a pair of sweats, a hoodie and some sliders.

He wipes his eyes and I gesture for him to come in with my finger. "Enough with the vodka" I take the bottle before putting it down on the table

"Sorry" He mumbles

I sigh, "It's ok... come on" I take his hand before leading him up the stairs and down the corridor

Thankfully Santi and Matty's lights are off, they sleep fast. I make sure to lock the bedroom door behind me and as I turn around I notice that Carters having a look around. "I've never been inside your room"

I sit at the edge of my bed before putting my phone on the charger, "You tired?" I ask

"A little"

I lift up the comforter, offering the space beside me. Fortunately for me he's taking off his hoodie right about now which leaves him shirtless, I watch as he gets into the bed beside me. If I wake up and I find out that I'm dreaming, I might literally be mad at the universe.

He lays close to my body and we just lie there staring at each other in the dark, "Where are you coming from?"

"Aaron's house"

Why in gods name would Aaron just let him leave? "Why didn't he stop you?"

"He was asleep when I left"

Makes sense

"Stop walking around the streets on your own, it's not safe"

"Sorry"

"It's ok"

"Carmen"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry I stopped talking to you" Carter says quietly

I don't reply for a moment, I'm thinking about a lot of things. Like what I could've done to make him ignore me, "Did I do something?"

He draws circles on my hip bone causing a shiver to run down my spine. "You could never do anything to make me hate you"

So then why

"I'm sorry I didn't keep calling" I say softly

"Why didn't you?" He whispers

"I was too scared and I know that's a horrible excuse because you never gave up on me when I was here.... I've been pretty shitty"

He pulls me closer to him and I widen my eyes a little, "I don't think you know how much I've been waiting to touch you again"

Fuck

"Your drunk" I remind him

"These are my sober thoughts" Carter replies

"So what else are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that your the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and I'm sorry for fucking other people while you were away"

"You don't need to say sorry"

"I do.... Every time I had sex with them I'd tried to think it was you but it just wasn't working"

Wow ok

I reach for his hand, "What happened Carter?"

"Nothing" He mumbles

"No don't do that, tell me" I say seriously

"How do I know you won't leave too?"

I frown, "Is that what you think?"

He shrugs and I wrap an arm around his neck, pulling him down to lay on me.

I think I like babying drunk Carter

I give him a kiss on the head, "I won't" I promise in a whisper

He lies there as I play with his hair, "My dad" Carter finally murmurs

I frown, "Dad?"

No response

I look down a little only to notice that he's fallen asleep.....

I have so many questions