Turns out going back to my old ways is a lot easier than I thought it would be. Describing my last few days in one word would be tiring.

It started out ok you know? I had another day of school and I was talking with Sienna and Zoe, everything was fine. I babysat Grace and I was ok, but for some reason I didn't feel hungry for that whole day. And you should only be eating when your hungry.... Right? Anyway I got back home and it was the usual with my siblings, I wasn't on any speaking terms with them. Then I got bored and I wanted to go to the gym.... Maybe that was the problem

I was there for two hours. One hour on the treadmill, half an hour on the cross trainer, half an hour on all sorts of exercises. Got back home, showered, felt a little dizzy but I ate a few strawberries so that was ok. Then I was on FaceTime with Carter for the rest of the night and I had to lie to his face about what I had that day, I felt bad honestly. I followed the same pattern all weekend, although I actually had to force myself to have some spaghetti so that my head wouldn't start hurting again.

Anyway I'm currently in the middle of one of my FaceTime sessions, "Miss me yet?"

"Just a little"

"Aww you do" Carter teases

"Fuck off" I say amused

"What have you had today" He then asks

"A bowl of cereal this morning, a bag of Cheetos and some lasagne"

"Damn, progress. I'm proud of you C"

Fuck my life

"Thanks" I smile

I hate lying to Carter but if I tell him the truth then it just proves his point, then he'll start thinking that it's his fault and I don't want that.

"Alright the boys are here so I'll text you in the morning, then actually see you on Monday"

I wave a little, "Later"

"Later"

I end the call before laying my head back against the headboard and sighing

Life just isn't working out for me at the moment

My door then opens and Lola walks in, "Dad wants us all downstairs"

I roll my eyes before eventually getting up and following her down. Dad took one of the chairs from the dining room and placed it in front of the couch that my siblings are currently sitting on, I sit on the other couch and Matteo sits beside me. "What's with the dramatics?" Enzo says confused

"Yeah I was on a call" Adrianna says annoyed

"As you guys know your mothers been in the hospital"

"We know dad, some of us actually visited her" She replies

I don't even have the energy to argue, I'm drained. "Shut up Adri" Matteo says

"You shut up-

"Parar" Dad warns, she rolls her eyes before sitting back

"Now tomorrow she's coming back and we'll all need to help her and make sure she's eating right" He continues

"That means hiding her cigarettes" Daniel says

"I'll do it" Lola replies

I hug my legs as dad continues to talk to us, honestly I kind of zoned out. I've only got one thing on my mind..... or should I say one person on my mind. I can't wait for Carter to get back even though I'm wondering what it'll be like, considering that I kissed him the other day.

I tune back in, "She'll be working less hours too" Dad adds

Oh for fuck sake

The twins high five

"Is that all?" Daniel asks

"That's all" Dad nods

I lie down on the couch as all my siblings get up and either head upstairs or to the kitchen, Matteo stays with me though... so does dad. "Mi hija" He says softly

I just look at him, "I think that maybe when your mother comes back you should apologise, it would be wise"

"If she's working less then I'm working more" I murmur, Matteo and dad frown

"Carmen I understand that the way your siblings have been for the past few days isn't pleasant but we want you home" He says softly

I bury my face into the other pillows, thankfully he takes the sign and leaves me be. Matteo lies down beside me

"Please don't work more"

"I think it's best if I do"

"But who's gonna make me dinner? Santi can't do it"

"I'll order food just for you" I say softly

My brother hugs me and I smile before closing my eyes

~*~

"We're definitely going right?"

"Of course"

The school wants to take us away for a camping trip and thankfully we won't actually be in tents we'll be in cabins, I am not sleeping on grass with a thin layer keeping us apart. We'd be going on Wednesday and wouldn't come back until Friday so we'd only miss two days of school. And thankfully, I can pay for it on my own because of my job, "Ok good, and we're still on for the sleepover?" Sienna asks, I nod

I basically told her and Zoe what actually happened with my mom, Siennas mad at Enzo now and I love it. "And it's my turn to choose what we order" Zoe adds

"Yeah yeah"

Two hands worm their way around my waist and I frown as I'm lifted up. My best friends don't tell me who it is, instead they watch with knowing looks. But after noticing a familiar scent I realise who it is, I turn around before hugging his neck happily and he spins me around, "You told me you weren't coming school" I scoff as he puts me down

"Surprise" He grins

"Alright it's clear when we're not wanted " Aaron says with his arms around Zo and Sienna

"Later" Zoe sings

I wave them off

"So did you guys win?"

"How can you ask that knowing very well how great I am" Carter replies

"I see you've gotten cockier"

"And I see you owe me dinner"

"Well we're having stir fry today, Grace's pick" I reply

"Fine by me"

"Oh by the way, your coming to the camping trip"

"I am?" He frowns

"Yeah it's Wednesday till Friday"

"Carter Miller doesn't camp"

"You'll get another promise" I negotiate

He raises his eyebrows, "What right now?"

"No, later-

Before I know it his arms are around my waist and my lips are on his again. Ok I won't lie I missed the feeling of his warm mouth on mine, but I'm kind of worried about Eliza walking through the hallway at any minute.... She's been radio silent for days. Now I only say this because believe it or not I still feel kind of bad for her considering that Carter just left her, however I don't do unnecessary drama so if she's got something to say then she better think before speaking

I pull away with my arms around him, "Or I guess you just couldn't wait" I say amused

"Your right I couldn't"

"Think you can carry me to history?"

"Of course I can, your a feather and I'm a strong guy" He lifts me up into bridal style effortlessly and I smile

"Step on it"

~*~

"Hey Grace"

She rushes over excitedly and I spin her around as we hug, "Did you have a good day?" I murmur

She nods as we look at each other, "I'm glad to hear it"

"I saw you kiss my brother" She whispers to me

I widen my eyes a little before snorting, "What are you talking about?"

"When you kissed him on the cheek"

She means when I made that promise

I tickle her a little, "You should've been asleep"

Grace giggles, "Where's your mommy?" I then ask as we pull away

She points to the office as I put her down, "Can I get a hug like that?" I hear Carter ask as I walk away

I knock on Melissa's door lightly, "Come in!" She calls out

I open the door before shutting it behind me gently, Melissa looks up from her laptop. "Oh, Carmen have a seat" She smiles

I sit down on the chair in front of her desk before looking around, her office is quite nice actually. There's a photo of a young Carter rested besides the computer -remind me to steal that later- and then a photo of Grace on the wall, "I just wanted to let you know how thankful I am" Melissa says softly

I frown, "For what?"

"Being patient with my Grace"

"It's no problem"

"And also for Carter too"

I frown, "Carter?"

She nods, "He comes home more often now because of you and his sister"

"Surely that's more because of Grace?"

"Carter would always come back from Aaron's house when he knew I wouldn't be home. I've done some things in the past that I'm not proud of, thus his behaviour towards me. But he's been making more of an effort to be at home with his sister now and believe it or not, it's because of you"

I guess I never really thought of it that way at all, "Well in that case.... Your welcome"

Melissa sits up, "But I'm sure that's not what you came here for"

"Um no.... Actually I was wondering if I could have Wednesday to Friday off, it's just that there's a school trip and I wouldn't be able to look after Grace. But then again I don't have to go-

"Carmen it's alright, you can go"

"Really?" I say surprised

She nods, "Just keep an eye on my son for me"

I frown, "Wait but how did you-

She just smiles knowingly at her screen as I get up, how did she even know that Carter was gonna go? As I leave her office I realise, she's apart of the school board meaning she organises most of these trips.

Melissa is a smart woman, I'll give her that

Well I'm glad that went well actually, I was expecting her to say no.

I walk towards the kitchen with a smile on my face, however it then turns into a curious look after noticing Carter and Grace, there's a whole bunch of ingredients scattered around, "What are you guys doing?"

"Grace wants to make cookies" Carter replies as I sit down at the island

I leave them alone for five minutes and they've already managed to make a bit of a mess. Although they managed to get all the ingredients right, the butter, the sugar, the eggs etc. "So do I get to join in or?....-

"Nope, you just sit back and let the Millers work"

"Well I mean it's not Grace I'm worried about, it's you" I reply truthfully

He flicks flour at me and I scrunch my nose before wiping it off, "Take it back"

"If I'm still alive after eating those cookies then maybe I will"

"Bet" Carter replies

Surprisingly they both didn't need any help from me and seemed to be doing just fine on their own, Melissa left halfway through but said to save her some. Grace wanted to sit in front of the oven and wait for the cookies, I decided to go to the bathroom in the meantime. As I was coming out though, I couldn't help but lean on the wall for some support. Sometimes when I move around quickly I get a little dizzy, but it's fine because it only lasts for a few seconds.

"You lied to me"

I turn around quickly, "Carter-

"Your dizzy which means you haven't actually eaten today"

"I-

"So were you lying to me over the weekend too?"

I sigh, "Carmen" He says seriously

"Yes" I say quietly

He scoffs before walking back into the kitchen. Yeah I don't know why I thought I would be able to get away with it.... But still, I had to try. He didn't speak to me for the rest of the night so it was just me and Grace, I felt horrible.

"You did good with your cookies" I tell her as we head up the stairs

"Can we watch a movie?"

I snort, "Nice try, brush your teeth and change into your pyjamas ok?"

"Are you gonna kiss my brother again?-

I usher her away, "Go"

She snickers before walking into her bedroom and I tie up my hair as I go back downstairs to clean up. It took me a little longer than usual because I was actually quite tired, as I'm folding Grace's blanket I look back at the left over noodles before grabbing a bowl. I'll pass out on my way home if I don't have something so I might as well, Carter walks in as I take the bowl out of the microwave. "Is she asleep?"

"Mhm"

He watches as I sit down at the island, "Your eating"

"Yeah, I don't wanna pass out on my way home"

He sits opposite me, "It's ok to be hungry C" Carter says softly

I shrug as I twirl the fork around, "I'm sorry" I then say

"I just.... I couldn't bring myself to tell you that I had failed within the first day"

"Why?" He frowns

"Because I didn't want you to feel like it was your fault.....And I can't just let myself rely on you, it's not fair you know?"

"Carmen I told you to call me if anything, I wouldn't have minded" He says softly

I half smile before eating some of the noodles, "How's things are home" He then asks

I roll my eyes, "Don't even get me started"

"You and your siblings still aren't talking?" He says surprised

"Nope, unless it's Matteo. And Isabella's coming back tonight so I'm staying at Sienna's"

"Well you could always stay here" He shrugs

I narrow my eyes, "Is this your sneaky way of seduction?"

He grins, "Maybe"

"I'll keep that in mind"

Afterwards I went back home so I could get some of my clothes, I'd say that my family noticed me come in but they didn't. They're all in the living room watching a Telenovela with our mom, it didn't take me very long to get my stuff. I also locked my room so no one has a chance of getting in, I don't know why I only thought about using the key now.

-

"I mean we took his little brother to the park and then we got food afterwards" Zoe says as she applies a face mask to my face

"Seems like things are working out for you"

"What can I say, redheads are taking the lead"

Here we go

"Sooo apparently Carter ended things with Eliza" Sienna says as she walks back into the room with three bags of chips

Zoe frowns as she turns around, "Wait what?"

I thought everyone knew

"Carmen you don't look so surprised" She then says to me

I shrug, "He told me he was gonna do it the day before"

"What?" Zoe scoffs

"Any reason why?" Sienna asks suspiciously

"Yeah, why? I mean thank god, but why now?"

"Because he doesn't love her" I say amused

Sienna sits back, "It definitely goes deeper than that"

Zoe looks at me suspiciously, "Did you guys fuck?"

"What? No" I scoff as I write on a piece of paper

"So your telling me that you guys haven't done anything with each other?" Sienna says with disbelief

I click the pen as I sit up, "Well I mean we've kissed but-

"What the fuck and we didn't know?!" Zoe scoffs with shock

"When and how many times" Sienna demands

I open my bag of chips, "Uhhh, the first was the day that he was leaving for his football game and the second was today actually, in the hallway"

"What the hell C?" Zoe scoffs

"Not even a heads up?"

"I'm telling you now aren't I?" I say with a mouthful of chips

"That doesn't count-.... And what is that anyway" Sienna frowns

"Permission slip" I shrug

"Why not just get your dad to fill it in" Zoe says confused

"Because forging is much more fun, now enough about me let's watch a movie"

We all sit back as Sienna turns on her tv