Tw: self-harm mention

Sofia's mind was like a battleground right now.

Too much information to process. Cesare, Anastasio, Denaro brothers, her mental issues, school life. Her everything.

And when things were getting too overwhelming she had only one way to cope: cutting.

Without fully realizing what she's doing her legs guided her to an old backpack where she had Anastasio's knife safely stored.

She sat on the bed and she touched with its blade her wrist but before she started pressing it to her skin she froze in place.

It came back to her.

That moment on the beach.

Now you want to live? Anastasio's voice appeared in her head. He was so angry at her that day. And she was angry at him, right now.

Being reminded of that moment, of how scared she was, how scared he made her feel bad made her blood boil. This is the moment when she realized that she's sick of getting hurt.

I'm not going to let that happen again. She decided with determination.

She realized and let the knife slip out of her grasp and fall on the hardwood floor of her bedroom.

No one and most certainly not her own hands will harm her again.

While she was in her bottle mood she instantly noted that the door handle moving.

Oh shit. Someone is entering her room.

She panicked.

She had a split second to act and she barely managed to kick the knife under her bed.

"A-Alessandro what are you doing here?" she asked trying to not look spooked out of her mind.

She was seeing him an hour ago in his office. It was 1 am.

"I wanted to check up on you to see if you're sleeping. I was hoping therapy will help with your insomnia" he said, sitting on her bed.

"Not really" she responded truthfully.

"If you'd like to change a therapist, just say a word" Alessandro suggested.

"No. He's excellent. Like I don't know who else would deal so well with an uncooperative patient like me" Sofia admitted. "It was eventful evening. I can't... relax enough to sleep"

"According to my knowledge you haven't asked Felice for any sleep medica tion" Alessandro asked.

Sofia looked at him with suspicion "and how the hell do you know that?" She asked rudely. Then, instant self-reflection came. She shouldn't be using this tone for Alessandro. She knew by now that he wouldn't put up with it.

"He's not telling me anything about your sessions, if that's what you fear. But he would inform me if you received any sleeping pills prescription. You're still a minor" Alessandro explained.

"I'm not the biggest fan of medication. Taking them would make me even more anxious" she tried to explain in the best terms she could. "I'm fine. I've been doing well with the sleep I'm getting" she added quickly.

Alessandro sighed and then stood up from his chair.

"Come with me" he instructed.

Sofia was confused but she was followed by her oldest brother. They went downstairs, passed through the living room and Alessandro used a key to open the spacious room with a piano.

"You keep the piano room under the lock?" Sofia asked incredulously. Granted, a lot of rooms in this house were locked up but this she wasn't expecting.

Alessandro sent her a rare smile and touched gently the black, shiny surface of the piano. "It's my baby" he explained.

No wonder he was speaking about this piano like Francesco would speaking about one of his cars. Sofia was sure it was expensive as hell, it looked like a musical instrument that a person could see in an opera house. It was elegant, it had classical black color. On the fall board, in golden letters, there was a company name: "Steinway & Sons".

"I can't believe this house has a piano. Can I find here any violin too? Or maybe another swimming pool?" Sofia asked jokingly.

Alessandro chuckled. "We can afford having things that bring us joy. If you want something all you need to do is to tell me" he said smoothly.

"I don't have any talent or a hobby" she said and her gloomy mood came back.

Well, she was collecting blankets. But she wouldn't consider "hoarding" a hobby.

"You can always pick something you'd like to be good at and I will sign you up for classes. It's never too late to look for things that you might enjoy" he said smoothly and sat on the chair.

Sofia joined him a little overwhelmed by the whole situation.

"So, why are we here? Are you going to play a lullaby for me?" She asked sarcastically.

"I will give you your first piano lesson" he stated calmly.

"Wait, are you serious?"

Did he said "first"? It was really happening out of the blue.

"Of course I'm" he said as if it was completely normal.

"No. You're always busy, you don't need another chore, it's going to be a waste of your time" Sofia protested quickly.

"Sit down" he requested, referring to the place next to him.

When she followed his order she felt obliged to look at him. Only then, he continue speaking "Time spent with you is never wasted. In fact we've lost so much time by being apart that one could say we need at least an extra hour a week to catch up" he explained.

Sofia's eyes watered and she hugged him. She rested her head on his broad shoulder and at the moment she didn't care if she's dirtying his thousands-dollars worth black suit with her tears. She was so glad she had him, so glad he was here.

What would happen to her if she was completely alone? If she didn't have Alessandro, Francesco, and Valentino? Her life would be so miserable.

She knew that because it was her life back when she was still in the US. Before she moved to this beautiful mansion, back in the US she was so lonely. She had no idea life can look like that, with the house always full and surrounded by people that actually care and talk to her and give her attention.

Back then after coming back from school, she would spend hours alone locked up in her room and she was distracting herself with music to escape grim reality.

But at this home she was in right now there was no need to escape. She craved her brothers' presence like air and when she realized they want to spend time with her, she was more than happy.

"I'd love to spend more time with you but I don't know maybe watching a movie? Playing piano seems difficult" she said, really worried.

She will just make a clown of herself in front of him and the last thing she needed was to disappoint him.

"Sofia, relax. I don't want to teach you because I expect you to give concerts at the local opera house next month. I want to teach you because piano calms me down and helps me clear my mind and I think it can help you as well with your sleeping problems. I've been thinking that we can meet around 9 pm for an hour on Fridays and Saturdays. If that method won't work we will think of something else"

"Okay," Sofia said softly. "That actually sounds good"she finally agreed. They exchanged smiles and the lesson started.

Alessandro was an excellent teacher. He was calm, he committed to explaining basic terms in a way that wasn't overwhelming. He started by guiding her posture, showed her how to stretch her hands, and then he helped her to play her first notes. Just like that, an hour has passed and from mental strain, she started to feel tired.

When she yawned in front of him he asked "ready to go got sleep?"

"Yes," she smiled back at him. He was right the piano did help her relax. For the first time, she didn't feel like her brain is overwhelmed with anxiety, it was peaceful.

The moment she hit her comfy bed she fell asleep like a baby. She didn't have any dreams that night.

❤️❤️❤️

Sunday. Sofia's least favorite day. She hated to wait for the week to start. Weekend was the moment when she could hide in her bedroom and stay tucked in bed with her book. Safely. Waiting for the week to start was the worst.

Maybe this is why she couldn't sleep at night because it required some amount of waiting until consciousness leaves the body.

Of course, it would be a lie to say that it was the only issue she had with sleeping. She hated having nightmares.

On Monday morning, during the breakfast she decided to speak about the issue that couldn't wait any longer.

"I met Cesare Santini," she said. Her plate was empty and she planned for it to stay like that. She wasn't hungry today.

After that sentence left her mouth her brothers went silent and focused on her.

"What do you mean?" Alessandro asked, wanting her to elaborate. He watched her with his calculating gaze.

"He was working with Paul and he wanted to pay me for sex," she said bluntly because she had no idea how to break the news in different ways.

Just like that, she had that off her chest. The relief was amazing.

The whole room went quiet. Except for Valentino who choked on his sandwich and started coughing violently.

"What?" Francesco asked in shock. He stood up while looking at her with utter disbelief.

"Did you..." he asked with concern in his eyes.

"No!" Sofia protested truthfully. "Nothing happened"

"Thank God..." Francesco sighed with relief.

"Are you sure?" Alessandro said and his calm voice became shaky now. He was angry.

"Yes," she said meeting his gaze.

"What do we do?" Valentino asked.

"You're going to go to school and let the adults sort this out," Alessandro said with a voice that left no room for a discussion.

"Just fucking great" Valentino muttered sarcastically, slinging his backpack over his shoulder.

He left the kitchen abruptly and Sofia had no choice but to follow her hot-headed brother.

"Sofia, wait" Francesco stopped her. She looked at him questioningly.

"Are you sure you're okay? You don't need to go to school today if you don't want to" he said, his voice full of concern.

"No, I want to. Please don't worry about me" she smiled and gave him a quick hug before saying goodbye.