TW: Suicide attempt

The moment Sofia entered school she knew something was wrong. She saw people whispering, pointing at her, and looking at her with pity.

Why?

She picked up her cellphone and with an uneasy, even panicky feeling she scrolled through Instagram. No, it's impossible. They couldn't share that video. How? Who exactly would do it after yesterday's meeting?

Sofia couldn't believe it.

Why, why, why did it happen?

She won't be sitting and crying in the bathroom this time. She needs to leave.

"Sofia? Is everything okay?"

She almost bumped into Bruno, they were now in the school corridor, there were a lot of people there and for Sofia, it felt suffocating. She didn't respond, she just started walking towards the school entrance. "Sofia where the hell are you going?"

"Stop following me," she commanded.

He didn't listen, of course, he didn't. "You're acting weirdly. I am not leaving you alone"

"The video is out. I don't want to be here now" Sofia admitted.

"Sofia-" Bruno started speaking, his brows furrowed as he looked at her with compassion. Pity. She didn't want pity.

"Don't. I just need to leave this place. And you can't come with me because my brothers are going to kill you if they find out you helped me" she explained.

"I don't care," Bruno said firmly. "How do you want to leave, anyway? Your bodyguard will inform someone immediately that we left," Bruno asked trying to keep up with her pace.

Sofia stopped for a second to think. Bruno was right they couldn't just run out of the school and hope for the best. And then the idea sparked in her mind.

"You will leave through the main entrance alone. Take your car and park it on the other side of the school building" Sofia decided.

"There's a fence on the other side," Bruno said skeptically.

"I will just climb over it," Sofia said with determination.

***

Soon, Sofia was sitting in Bruno's car and they were driving away.

"Can you turn off your phone? I don't know if my brothers would be able to trace it but probably" Sofia requested.

"Okay" Bruno sighed and turned off his phone with a heavy heart.

"How come you can drive a car, I thought in Italy you need to be 18 to get a driver's license?" Sofia asked curiously.

"I am 18. I lost a year of school when I was 12. Me and my parents were in the car accident"

"Oh shit, I am sorry," Sofia said with sadness. Bruno shrugged his shoulders.

"It's okay. Everyone came out of this alive but I was for a few months in a coma" Bruno continued. "So where do you want to go?" he asked.

Bruno decided to go along with Sofia's plan because he knew she needed some time alone. Hell, he would need that also after experiencing what she did.

"Taormina?" She asked hopefully.

"Why there?" He asked with curiosity.

"Something about the views of that place is so calming. It feels like a fairy tale place, not a normal town" she admitted. Besides, it's the only city outside of Catania that she went to more than once. It became her place and she would always think about that place with nostalgia and fondness.

She needed to hide herself from everything that was happening.

"So..." Bruno started awkwardly. "Who do you think released this video?"

"I think it was Greta," Sofia responded bitterly.

"How can you be sure?" Bruno asked.

"She was the only person from that whole crowd of bullies I didn't rat out to Alessandro"

"That's... possible. Sofia you know, it's not the end of the world? People will forget" Bruno said after a period of long silence.

"I know. But I won't. That video is bad enough but I feel even more ashamed for trying to befriend Greta. I should've told Alessandro about her. Now it feels like this whole situation is my fault" Sofia said bitterly, she was way past crying.

"It's not your fault," Bruno said hotly.

"Let's not talk about it," she said quietly looking out of the window.

"Please, let's talk about it" he insisted. He was getting more and more agitated. What did he think he was doing when taking her out of school? They were both in a shit ton of trouble now.

"Let's not," Sofia replied.

"We should visit grandma" Bruno lightened up at the idea. He believed that grandma would know what to say because he had no idea. He watched his friend sitting right next to him, but it felt like she's in a different place.

"I... maybe later. Do you know any good restaurant in Taormina?" Sofia asked. She didn't want to go.

"Sure" Bruno agreed. Fine, they will just eat something and then he will make her call her brothers when she calms down

***

They went to the cozy restaurant. It was a small place with a cute garden the weather was warm for the winter season so they were sitting outside.

They ordered pizza but the only person that was eating was Bruno. He was eating without enthusiasm because he was fully committed to making Sofia talk. Unsuccessfully.

Then, after several minutes of absolute silence, she said. "I need to go to the bathroom,"

Bruno nodded.

That was a lie. Sofia just couldn't stand being at that place anymore, her mind felt like she's going to explode, the pain in her chest was suffocating.

Instead of going to the bathroom, she went outside. Sofia had no capacity at the moment to make reasonable decisions or think about anything at all.

She left the restaurant knowing that Bruno is right there and he doesn't deserve it. The idea that her actions will hurt him did not help her to come back, it only made her pain more unbearable and she needed it to stop.

It had to stop.

Sofia was just walking forward, her mind blank. Despite her sadness, she would have to be blind to not see the beauty of this small Italian town she was in. It felt like blasphemy to be sad in this particular place on earth.

The Sicilian winter was blessed with mild temperatures and today it was quite hot so her school uniform was a perfectly comfortable outfit for that weather.

Taormina was situated on the hill and Sofia at some point of going down the road reached Belvedere di Via Pirandello, a panoramic viewpoint from which a person could admire the view of the Isola Bella and the Mazzoro beaches.

The cliff.

She looked down and for some reason, a thought came to her mind: a person who would jump from that cliff would surely die.

And at the current moment, she wanted to die. She didn't know why this thought was so appealing at the moment. She wasn't thinking clearly and her body was guiding her towards the cliff. One step after another.

Suddenly, she was standing on the barrier one step separating her from the end.

What sort of person she was to be standing like that? A person broken beyond repair, she was so easily hurt. If she was not held gently enough she fell apart, with every stronger wave of the wind she further disintegrated, and now she was feeling that there's nothing left of her.

She was about to move her leg forward when she felt a strong hand pulling her by the back of her shirt.

She screamed in pain when she fell on her back but the impact was lessened because she didn't hit the ground. She hit someone.

Someone who saved her.

A moment later their position changed. Anastasio was lying on top of her holding her wrists in a vice grip. His grey eyes were full of unspoken anger.

"What the fuck Sofia? What the actual fuck?!" He yelled angrily, traces of shock and fear still visible in his expression.

Before she could answer the tourists decided to appear.

They yelled angrily in English for Anastasio to let her go because they thought he's attacking her. Well, it seemed to piss Anastasio even more.

He had a gun?!

He got up and advanced towards the tourists with a gun pointed at them yelling to get out. They did as he asked, ran away as quickly as they could.

Sofia's jaw dropped, horrified she watched innocent people running for their life. Anastasio just tucked the gun under his belt as if nothing happened, for a split second, she could see the fragment of his six-pack. He was the weirdest homeless person she has ever encountered but his clothes didn't seem to change much. Dark pants, heavy leather jacket, and black shirt. Everything was worn off but for some reason, it didn't matter, he was just handsome, the kind of handsome that looked good in everything.

"A-Anastasio?" She asked, quite scared. He wasn't even angry, he was furious.

He didn't respond, he forcefully grabbed her by the wrist and started dragging her somewhere. They went out of the human trail into the unknown path in between the trees.

He was not speaking, he was just walking briskly and Sofia followed him barely keeping up.

"Anastasio, stop where are we going?" Sofia said wanting to get away from his grip but he didn't even notice her struggles.

When they were away from the place where someone could potentially see them he finally stopped and faced her.

"Are you insane?! What were you thinking? Fucking coward!" His grey eyes went dark, his voice was loud and dangerous and Sofia was absolutely terrified.

"I-I'm sorry," she said she was crying now her tears made her vision blurry.

"Fuck your sorry. Do you think sorry would ease the pain of your family? Would your brothers feel better looking at your grave if they knew you're sorry? Would it make it easier for them to identify your cold body in the morgue? Why do you even say sorry for I thought dead people can't speak so shut the fuck up!"

When he finished speaking Sofia had no desire or intention to respond.

That made a shiver run down Sofia's spine. Her brothers. How could she do that? How could she be this selfish?

She finally fully realized what she was trying to do. She was trying to kill herself without giving much thought to it she would leave everyone behind bringing her brothers so much pain.

This realization brought her the worst feelings imaginable. Shame, guilt, fear, and sadness. The pain she couldn't stand or deal with right now.

Anastasio just sat on the ground, and rested the back of his head on a tree trunk, cursing quietly.

Sofia on the other hand didn't know what to do with herself. After his speech, she was afraid to speak so she was just trying to calm her breathing.

But her inaction didn't last long. The wave of nausea hit her and the second thing she knew she was throwing up.

Anastasio was still present of course and witnessing everything.

She's going to die out of embarrassment now.

But to her surprise, she felt a hand gently brushing her hair out of the way and keeping them off her face until she finished emptying her stomach.

When she was finished she walked away from the spot and Anastasio followed her wordlessly. Finally, she found a good spot to sit down, Anastasio sat right next to her.

They were sitting like this in silence, no one was saying anything.

The next time Anastasio started speaking he was perfectly calm "My mother killed herself. I found her when I was 10. If you're going to say I'm sorry I'm going to murder you so don't" he said dryly. "Sorry for yelling at you, I shouldn't have"

"No, you should have. I would yell at me to" Sofia replied. "Be angry at me if you want"

"What happened?" Anastasio asked.

"Nothing, it's just. I was triggered by a stupid video" Sofia was so embarrassed. Yes, the video was a trigger but it wasn't the sole reason why she did this. The truth is that Sofia was still grieving her mother's death, her lost friendship with Nadia. The bullying was not a separate incident either, it took a toll on her mental health. Not to mention the abuse she experienced when living with Paul. It was too much of everything. But Sofia didn't know how to explain all the complexity of the situation to Anastasio so she decided to focus on one thing at a time.

"You need to elaborate for me" he didn't understand.

"Whole school saw how my bullies cursed me out and dropped food at me. Oh, and my white shirt was completely soaked so I look like I'm almost naked on this video"

"So fucking what?" Anastasio scoffed and dropped a cigarette on the ground just to light another one. "That fucking thing will be wiped off the web in a blink of an eye with Francesco's skills and whoever did it is already dead in your brother's eyes. Besides showing a bit of skin is not a big deal. Are you a fucking virgin or something?" he asked taking a whiff of his cigarette.

"I am?" Sofia said, her cheeks red.

He looked at her weirdly.

"I mean," she said embarrassed by her own admittance "kind of? Maybe? None of your business?" She looked away.

He snorted and suddenly atmosphere became lighter.

"How did you find me?" Sofia asked.

"I was in the city center when I saw you leaving the restaurant. You looked like you're up to some stupid shit so I followed you like an idiot" he said bitterly.

"And what were you doing in the same part of the city as me?"

"I can trace the location of that knife I gave you as a gift"

No.

What the actual fuck?

"And you were following me?" Sofia was scandalized.

"Because I wanted to fucking apologize for the way I acted the last time we saw each other and you were in Taormina, okay?" He yelled angrily

"How do you even know my brother's name?" she continued her questioning.

"I know your brothers," he said casually as if it wasn't a big deal. "Alessandro was my piano teacher"

"Who the hell are you?" Sofia asked in exasperation.

"Mind your own business, Sofia" he responded flippantly.

"Please don't tell me you're my brother" she begged.

Anastasio snorted. "Hell no"

Thank God.

"And you're not going to tell me your last name?" Sofia risked.

"Don't count on it" he sent her a boyish smile.

Speaking of brothers.

"What time is it?" Sofia asked.

"After 8" Anastasio responded.

"Fuck" she cursed. She was in so much trouble.

"I bet your brothers are currently in the process of losing their shit and terrorizing the city just to find you," he said, somewhat finding humor in this situation.

"Awesome," she said sarcastically.

"So what are you coming back home or not?" Anastasio asked casually.

"What choice do I have?" She asked, in a resigned voice. She wasn't ready to face her brothers.

"You may want to get drunk with me first," He suggested with a mischievous smile.

Sofia looked at him with shock painted on her face. At first, it sounded like a crazy idea to Sofia but on the second thought she screwed Bruno over, she almost committed suicide and she got rid of her phone just to escape the bunch of her overprotective brothers so, of course, she's going to get drunk now.

"I do need a drink," she said because she colossally fucked up and she was not ready to face reality, she didn't know how to fix anything either so what was she supposed to do?

He took off his black hoodie and threw it at her. "Wear it, put on a hood. I don't want anyone to see me with a fucking Ianniello Princess"

"I'm also Denaro," she said waiting for his reaction. "Are we related now?" she asked anxiously.

He laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation"No, still not. Shit, you're really something else"

"Thank you, I guess"

***

Soon, they were walking out of the store with a bottle of cheap red wine. Sofia wanted to pay but Anastasio wouldn't have it.

"Where do you get the money from?" she asked.

"Some things better remain mystery you know" Anastasio winked and said "follow me"

"Mysterious and bossy. Are you some sort of male lead or something?" Sofia muttered.

"Male what?"

"You know the boy whose main character falls in love with" as soon as these words left her mouth she regretted it. Her cheeks shifted into bright red color as she was trying to explain and he looked at her baffled then started laughing.

"Don't get your hopes up shorty, you're too innocent for me"

"Shut up," Sofia said, offended and embarrassed.

"Uh oh she pretends to be feisty" he mocked.

"Why are you such an asshole?" Sofia asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Because you deserve it. We're here" he responded with full certainty.

"This place is beautiful" Sofia stated sitting on the sand. It was a very small beach, to get there you had to be far off-road. She was sure only a handful of locals knew about it; it was so small none of them would bother to come here unless they needed absolute privacy as Sofia and Anastasio did.

"It's not bad" Anastasio agreed and handed her the bottle of alcohol after he took a sip of it.

She tried to ignore how her hand brushed his when she grabbed onto the bottle. She took a sip as well, then another.

"Slow down tiger" Anastasio joked and took the bottle from her to take another sip but Sofia snatched it, took a sip, and then gave it back to him. Just to prove a point.

"How do you like living with your brothers? They must suck since you were trying to kill yourself" Anastasio said in a blunt, sarcastic tone. It irked her.

"Shut up. They're amazing" Sofia said angrily on behalf of her brothers. They gave her everything. They were wonderful in every way possible. And they deserved a better sister, that's for sure.

"And yet they didn't teach you not to talk with strangers, oh how amazing they are" Anastasio mocked and shook his head in disappointment.

"And what the hell are you so angry about? I'm thankful that you saved my life but don't act like I did something to you because I didn't" Sofia replied.

"Yeah, you only hurt yourself right?" He asked.

"Right," Sofia said and took another sip of wine. She did not notice how Anastasio's eyes darkened, how his knuckles whitened under the pressure of his fists. Sofia was unaware of his mood worsening and changed the topic "How many pretty secluded places do you know in this city?" Sofia asked, absolutely mesmerized by the view of the Mediterranean Sea.

"All of them. I have to, I'm hiding, remember?" Anastasio said in a relaxed, pleasant tone but in reality, he felt anger.

"Yeah, I do," she said. "If your brother is a psycho maybe my brothers would be able to help you?" Sofia suggested.

"What if I lied?" Anastasio asked in a dark voice.

"What?" Sofia asked, confused.

"What if it's not my brother who's a psycho but me?" He challenged.

"Don't say that. It's not funny" Sofia started to feel uneasy under Anastasio's intense gaze.

"Who said I'm trying to be funny? I'm just a strange guy to you. You're alone, with no phone, there's not a single soul here. What if I killed my brother and now I'm running away from the law enforcement"

"Okay. Ha ha very funny" Sofia said now shivering. She stood up quickly and started backing away. Anastasio stood up too and started approaching her.

"Anastasio, stop it" Sofia pleaded.

"How do you know that's my real name?" He continued.

"I said stop it!" She yelled.

"Sofia, why did you believe the word I said? Why? Do you think it's a joke? Do you think trusting strangers is okay? How old are you? 7? Naive. Little. Girl" he gritted out.