“You’ll never know unless you do it.”

-

I am waiting outside Oliver’s class. My class ended five minutes early—a wonder I know—so I came here to carry out my plan.

I haven’t seen Oliver since the first period. This is the third period, and I think I should give him another dose. The bell rings. The teacher dismisses the class. I hide in my safe corner as people leave. I am crouching against the wall. Nobody pays attention to me.

Then I see my prey.

Oliver strides this way. He doesn’t have any idea I’m here. He turns the corner. I hug him from behind.

“Hello,” I say, and I place a kiss on his neck right beneath his ear. Oliver shudders.

Then he grabs my hands in a vice grip and pulls me to his front so I am facing him.

“You!” Oliver says fuming.

“What did I do?” I say with an innocent look. It’s hard to control my laughter. Oliver looks so angry.

“You-you—” Oliver tugs at me, making my body crash with his, “You are—”

“Awesome? Amazing?” I say as Oliver wraps his arms around my waist. “I know that already.”

“You are impossible,” Oliver grunts and leans down to get what he wants. I lean back as far as possible.

“Oliver, I am going to be late. I have to gooo!” I say.

“Then why did you come?” Oliver says with a flat look.

I gaze at him with a soft look. I don’t have to act this time. “To see you.”

Oliver drops his angry look. His features soften. Before I can do anything, he almost lifts me up, hugging me.

That is so sweet. But I am running out of time. So before he lets me go, I take the opportunity to kiss his jaw.

“No. You—” Oliver protests. I remove myself from his arms. I turn around and start to run.

“See you later!” I say before vanishing around the corner, leaving an angry-looking Oliver behind.

Lunchtime rolls around. I take my tray and get food. Then I get to our table. I can see Oliver staring at me even from a distance.

I set my tray down, sitting across from Oliver on Jason’s chair, not beside him where I usually sit.

I grin broadly. Oliver glares at me. God, why is this so fun?

It almost feels like we have gone back to the old days, when Oliver was so annoyed by me that he wouldn’t even acknowledge me. I used to tease him a lot. I should keep that up.

“Hi. How are you doing?” I ask back pleasantly.

Oliver keeps glaring. He can’t do anything here. We have a table between us, and we are in the cafeteria. Jason will be here any minute.

“I am waiting,” Oliver states in a grave tone.

“Oh, for what?” I say, biting into my burger.

Oliver taps his fingers on the table. “For the right opportunity,” he says darkly.

I nod as if appreciating him. I take another bite while Oliver stares at me. I wipe the ketchup off the corner of my lips with my thumb. Oliver’s eyes follow my movement.

Then I lick my thumb. Oliver clenches his fingers into fists.

“I thought revenge tasted sweet,” I say, “but it actually tastes hot. Don’t you agree?” I lick my lips.

Oliver leans forward. I feel like he is about to forget where he is and pounce on me. But he just releases a long breath.

“You will see how hot it is,” Oliver threatens. “And you’ll never forget the taste.”

I smirk. This is even getting better. “Sure.” I shrug.

Oliver runs a hand through his hair in frustration while I sit there eating my lunch and occasionally licking the ketchup off my lips.

“Hello, people,” Jason drops in. I smile at him.

“You missed all the fun,” I say, grinning and looking at Oliver.

“What fun?” Jason says looking from me to Oliver. “What did she do this time?”

“Hey,” I protest, “Why is it always me doing something? It can be Oliver too.”

“Well, that dude is red and fuming,” Jason says, glancing at Oliver.

I roll my eyes. Jason gives Oliver an inquiring look.

Oliver does not reply immediately. A few moments later, when I am done eating my burger and licking my fingertips, I hear Oliver talking.

“Do you know which classrooms are empty and open at the end of school?” Oliver asks Jason.

Wait a second, why does he need to know that?

Jason narrows his eyes, “Um, yeah. Room 103 and probably 105 too. Why?”

Oliver glances at me. My stomach churns in anticipation.

“It has nice tables. Right?” Oliver asks, staring at me.

What the hell will he do with tables? Cut my neck on it?

“Um, yeah,” Jason says looking at me. “It does.”

“Good,” Oliver nods. His eyes skim from my eyes to my lips and linger there.

I clear my throat. My heart rate jumps through the roof.

Jason shrugs and drinks his cola. I finish my lunch in silence. I had a plan to tease him a little more, but the look Oliver is giving me sends a shiver down my spine. I don’t know how eyes can be that expressive.

His eyes are dilated and dark, making me want to get drunk on him.

We leave the cafeteria at the end of lunchtime. I keep my distance from Oliver.

As my classes drag on one by one, I forget everything about revenge and Oliver. The midterms’ right around the corner and the teachers are dropping important hints here and there, so I need to pay attention.

This is why, when I walk out of the last class of the day, I let loose a little. I yawn, feeling tired from a long school day, and almost walk into a person. I look up.

Oliver Carlson stands in my way.

I gulp. “Hi,” I say timidly.

Oliver doesn’t say a word. The next thing I know, he is picking me off the ground and throwing me over his shoulder.

I squeal. Oliver moves swiftly, and in no time we enter an empty classroom.

So, this is room 103.

Oliver places me down on the table, making me sit as he stands between my legs. “Hi,” Oliver states.

Let me tell you this: an empty room with a table is an excellent place for guitar lessons. Heavy, intense guitar lessons.

And I don’t really regret tasting Oliver’s version of revenge.

*****

As the week passes on, my stress level goes from 1 to 100. I did badly in my sophomore finals last year. So, this year, I need to work harder. My eyes are getting blurry in the library when I see a shadow looming over my books.

Oliver is standing there with his hands on his hips, glaring down at me.

“What have I done this time?”

He glances at the clock on the wall. It shows there are 10 minutes left of the lunch break.

I shrug and go back to my book. Oliver leans down and takes the book from my hand. I look up at him. He grabs my wrist and drags me with him.

This guy.

Soon we are at the back of the school. Oliver nods at the bench there. I raise my brows. He rolls his eyes and leaves.

I don’t understand what’s happening so I sit down on the bench. Oliver arrives a few minutes later with a lunch tray. He sits down on the bench, setting the tray between us.

Oh.

Oliver nods at me as he starts eating. I stare at him.

Oliver sighs, then says, “Eat.”

I take a few fries. My heart feels warm and full. It aches a little.

“Where is Jason?” I ask him.

Oliver looks at me. “Jason said something along the lines of he needs a mate. It’s his mating season.” He makes a face after saying that.

I chuckle. “Of course, he said that.”

Then Oliver mumbles that sometimes he wonders why he’s friends with that disgusting guy. The way he says ‘disgusting’ makes me laugh harder.

As we eat lunch from the same tray, I say, “I think I should give you proper guitar lessons now. You have been only learning the name of the chords. We need to get down to the real thing now. You need to play the chords.”

I glance up at Oliver. His eyes twinkle dangerously.

“What?” I say.

“Nothing. Just thinking about playing the chords,” Oliver says, looking down at the tray. Then he looks up. “You are right. I need better lessons. And more of them.”

The greatest disadvantage of living in the gutter is that every sentence sounds like an innuendo.

Oliver Carlson knows that, too. In fact, he did say he’s in the gutter as well.

“I meant lessons as in actual guitar lessons,” I say.

“So did I,” Oliver says with a straight face. “After midterms, I think you should level it up.”

I close my eyes. Oliver’s only goal in life is to make my life harder and my mind a mess, my brain goo, and my heart, well, it already melted.

I point a fry at him. “You are dirty.”

Oliver glances at me. The corners of his lips twitch up a little, and his eyes twinkle with that look of mischief.

“How?” he asks.

“You are dirty and evil,” I say with the same fry pointing at him.

Oliver looks at it and then leans forward, biting it out of my fingers. He doesn’t leave the chance to lick my fingers a little.

I—

My whole body buzzes with electricity with that little contact. My eyes go wide as I stare at him. His smirks grow a little wider.

“You are cute,” Oliver says.

My mouth falls open. Did he just—

“I am not cute!” I say, offended. Oliver looks amused.

I look down at the lunch tray and then I stand up and shove it aside.

“I am not cute,” I say again looking down at him. “I am hot.”

Oliver raises his brow, as if he has doubts. I will show him.

As I am busy showing him how hot I am, I hear the bell ringing in the distance.

“Mhm mhm,” I mumble between the kisses.

Oliver doesn’t appreciate that. He pulls back and says, “What?”

“The bell,” I say.

Oliver makes a face as if I couldn’t have said anything more insignificant than that.

“We need to get to class. It’s mid—” I don’t get to finish my sentence.

After he pulls back, I’m dizzy, warm, and full. I snuggle into him and close my eyes. I don’t want to go back to class right now.

“So, the class...,” Oliver starts. His chin resting on the top of my head.

“The class can go to hell,” I mumble into his chest.

Oliver shakes a little. He is laughing.

I fall in love with him a little more every time he laughs.

Oliver fiddles with my hair and says, “How many turtlenecks do you have actually?”

I hold my grin back. “Why?”

It’s all I’ve been wearing lately. The turtlenecks, and sometimes hoodies, because Oliver didn’t leave me with much choice.

“Nothing. I was just wondering.” Oliver shrugs.

I can’t hold back my laugh anymore. “Tsk, tsk. You can’t give me any more dictionaries.”

Oliver pokes me. “Dictionaries are important.”

I pull back and look up at him. His dark eyes and his blonde hair. I don’t know why nobody sees him. But I’m also happy nobody sees him. I’m selfish. I want him all by myself.

“Now we should really get to class,” Oliver says, curling a strand of my hair around his finger.

I nod as we pull apart. We walk to our classes. I am late, but Oliver doesn’t leave without a peck.

As I settle into my seat, a thought occurs to me.

What are we?

Oliver and I, we’ve been kissing, snuggling, and enjoying our time together. My feelings are out of my control when it comes to him. But I know nothing about his feelings.

But we never talk about what’s going on. Who am I to him?

Is he ever gonna ask me out?

Is he ever gonna tell me how he feels?

I shake my head. I shouldn’t have these thoughts. I have had a relationship before. It didn’t go well. I think what’s going on now is too precious. Maybe Oliver and I, we don’t need a label. We can just be together.

But my mind doesn’t stop having doubts and whispering things in my ear. It gets louder the next week.

The midterm finally starts. I have been studying like a robot, like Oliver’s robots. The only things I do for a break are Oliver and food.

I am feeling so nervous that I have stomach knots as I stand beside Oliver’s locker, waiting for him to grab his backpack. I feel sick.

Oliver takes my hand as we start walking to our classes.

I am fidgeting a little when I hear Oliver asking, “You good?”

I glance at him and nod. There are still 10 minutes left before my first exam, which is Chemistry. My head is buzzing with all the formulas, symbols of the elements of periodic tables, and the definitions.

I swallow.

As we are heading towards my class, Oliver suddenly steers us a different route.

“Oliver?” I ask. “My class is that way.”

“I know,” Oliver answers. I give him a confused look.

A moment later, we reach our destination.

It’s the janitor’s closet.

What are we doing here?

I look at him. “You are not planning to—?”

Oliver opens the door and pulls me inside. I open my mouth to protest. As much as I love guitar lessons, this isn’t the time for it.

“I don’t think—”

“Shh,” Oliver says as he wraps his arms around me and hugs me.

“I—” I start, and then I can’t finish my sentence. Oliver hugs me tighter. I melt into him.

“You need to breathe. You haven’t breathed in this whole week. Everything’s going to be fine. You are going to do fine.” Oliver says. “Breathe with me.”

I hold onto him as I relax a little. “That’s the most number of sentences you have ever said to me at once.”

Oliver says. “Funny.”

I chuckle as I pull back. I find Oliver gazing at my face. He touches my cheeks, and then he kisses me.

It’s different. Whenever we kiss, it always feels like there’s some type of magnetic energy between us. We can’t get enough. We fight, we push and pull. We are always in a hurry. It’s like we need to get more before time runs out.

It’s not the same today.

Oliver kisses me softly, like he has all the time in the world.

I’ve melted into goo on the floor, if you haven’t already realized. Can he get any better?

Oliver stares into my eyes when he leans back. I have never felt more relaxed.

More to our disappointment, the door of the janitor’s closet flies open the next moment.

“Oh crap!” Owen squeals. He covers his eyes. “My bad.”

Behind him stands a girl. She doesn’t look amused. She makes a sound in annoyance.

Owen turns to her and says, “I guess we have to go to some other place. My brother and his girlfriend have already occupied the closet.”

He says it in a serious voice. The girl rolls her eyes as she flips her hair and leaves. Owen looks at us and gives us a thumbs-up, and says, “I promise that won’t happen again. Really. Carry on!”

Then he leaves as well.

As Owen goes away, the silence between us stretches. Maybe it’s just me.

My brother and his girlfriend.

I am not Oliver’s girlfriend. I am just someone he takes guitar lessons from.

I don’t look at him as I clear my throat. For Oliver, it’s easier to be silent. He doesn’t utter a single word.

I walk out of the closet. Oliver follows me. We walk silently to our classrooms.

I take my seat and get ready for my exam. I shove every thought about Oliver aside as I wait for our teacher to turn up.

This time it’s easier.

*****

!