It took me a month to talk to Tony. A whole month.

A whole month to work up the courage to tell him that I needed to talk to him privately. A whole month to finally get all the words out.

"Uh, Tony," I started when we were finally alone in his lab. "I need to, uh, I need to talk to you about something."

My head was reeling and my stomach rolling, but I made myself stay put and not give into my fight or flight reflex. I stood next to him at his welding table while he tinkered with some new blasters he was working on.

"Ya, Skydive, what's up?" He asked absentmindedly while looking through a large magnifying glass attached to a retractable metal arm.

"Uhm, I-I, Uhm-" I sighed heavily and rubbed at my forehead. "It's really important, so- can you...?" I asked and gestured for him to stop what he was doing. Tony grumbled and dropped his shoulders like I was annoying him, that was until he saw that I was serious.

"What's wrong?" He asked immediately and put his tools down to give me his full attention.

"This is going to be hard for me to say, and even harder for you to hear-"

"You're pregnant!" He interrupted.

"What- No, I'm not pregnant." I muttered frowning a bit that he thought that.

"Then spit it out. What is it?" Tony said with a breath of relief.

"It's about...your, Uhm-" I took a deep breath. Rip the bandaid off, I thought. "It's about your parents."

"Ok," Tony said not understanding why I was so uncomfortable. "What about them?"

"Bucky knew your father back in the forties, before HYDRA wiped his mind and made him a drone... they made him kill a lot of people, Tony, anyone who was a threat. Make it look like an accident." I said carefully. Tony's frown was deep as he processed my words. When my words registered, his eyes widened and he took a sharp inhale of breath.

"Stop," Tony told me, catching on. "Skydive, stop talking."

"On December sixteenth, nineteen ninety-one-"

"Sammee, I told you to stop!" Tony said louder and took a step away from me. I tried not to think about how he used my name instead of his nickname for me.

"-HYDRA ordered the Winter Soldier to eliminate targets Howard and Maria Stark, and steal the newly recreated super soldier serum."

"I said stop!" Tony yelled this time. There was so much pain in his voice. He spent so long thinking that they died in a car crash, a horrible accident, not that they were murdered. I did my best to keep my tears from spilling over as I continued.

"He didn't have a choice," I stressed as Tony turned and walked away from me. "Please, Tony, he didn't have a choice."

"You brought him here," he turned back to me and said, his eyes already watering. "You let him shake my hand, you let him stay under my roof!"

"Tony, you know he didn't have a choice." I pleaded with him as the tears became too much and fell down my cheeks. "I needed you to meet him, I needed you to understand that it wasn't him, not really."

"Don't-" Tony started shaking his head at me, but I talked over him.

"HYDRA killed your parents, not Bucky. He was just another victim." I said and took a few steps closer to him. Tony flinched and held his hands up.

"I-" He took a deep breath and looked down at the floor. "You knew... for years..." He was struggling for the words.

"It wasn't time to tell you, Tony." I told him and took another step toward him. He took a half step back and shook his head, holding his hand up to keep me from getting any closer. "I'm sorry..." I said sadly. Tony glanced up at me before turning on his heel and leaving me alone in the lab.

My hands shook as I grabbed onto the workbench for support. My heart thudded loudly against my chest. I covered my mouth with one of my hands to keep my sobs from escaping and closed my eyes.

I gave myself a few more minutes in the quiet lab before drying my tears and straightening myself out. Since I'd already started ripping the bandaid off, might as well keep going.

I found Loki reading a book in the living room. I stopped when I saw him, suddenly feeling like a million butterflies were stuffed into my body.

"It's impolite to stare." Loki called out to me as he turned his page. When I didn't answer with a snarky comment, he turned his head to look at me. "What's wrong?" He asked, now concerned, and put his book down to give me his full attention.

"I-Uhm-" I released a heavy breath out, trying to relax my nerves. "I need to show you something."

Loki furrowed his brow in confusion and concern, but stood up from his spot on the couch to walk to me. Before he got to me, I turned and walked to the elevator, hoping he would follow me.

When the elevator opened to our floor, I threaded my fingers through Loki's and started to led him to our room.

"Sammee, what's wrong?" Loki asked seriously and tugged gently back on my hand to stop me.

"Nothings wrong, my prince." I said as I stopped, turning to look at him. I could tell he didn't believe me. His frown deepened as he rubbed his hands up and down my arms.

"Then why do you look so scared?" He asked gently.

"I-" I sighed heavily. "I'll explain in a minute." I told him and pulled away.

I led him the rest of the way into our room and walked over to the red couch in the sitting area. I took a seat and pulled Loki down to sit beside me.

"Ok." I started and took a deep breath, pushing through the nerves I felt. "I still can't..." I struggled to figure out where to start.

'Start somewhere, anywhere, but just start.' Sam's words filled my mind as I took another deep breath to clear my head.

"I can't talk about what happened at HYDRA, but I can show you." I told Loki then added, "I'm ready to show you."

His eyes widened as he looked at me.

"You're sure about this?" He asked me hopefully, yet concerned. I smiled at him.

"Loki, you've been more than patient with me for the last eight months." I told him.

"I don't want you doing this only because I want you to."

Loki had seen how bad my night terrors got and completely stopped asking about HYDRA, which I appreciated.

"I know." I said. "And I'm not." I explained. "Dr. Raynor says it'll help, so I've got to try."

"Dr. Raynor." Loki repeated with an eye roll. He respected that she was helping me cope, but he and Dr. Raynor did not get along very well.

"Stop." I chuckled before becoming serious again. "This is a step I have to take."