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"Where did you run off to?" Loki mumbled half asleep when I slipped back into bed. He was laying on his stomach and wrapped an arm around my waist to pull me into him.

"I was talking to Tony." I told him. Loki immediately opened his eyes and looked at me seriously.

"What did he want?" He asked. I tucked some loose hair behind his ear before tracing his features with my fingertips.

"To apologize." I sighed. Loki sat up on his forearms to look down at me.

"That's good, right?" He asked, confused at why I wasn't happier.

"It is." I nodded and gave a small smile. Loki frowned.

"Why do you not look happy about it?"

"I am." I corrected. "I just have a lot of other things on my mind."

"Like what?" Loki asked and kissed my shoulder.

I sighed against him as I thought. I hadn't told him about what happened at HYDRA. I couldn't. I just wanted to block it all out, never think about it again. But I knew that was impossible. I still scanned every room for threats while making an exit plan. I still tensed when there was a loud sound, or someone moved too fast. And as soon as I stopped the pain meds... I knew I'd start seeing their faces again. The faces of the people I killed. I knew I'd hear the screams of the children crying over their fathers body.

"Tell me, Kitten. Let me help you." Loki urged softly and pulled back to look at me. I looked into the green eyes I loved and felt my heart break. How could I not feel safe with him? I loved him! Why wouldn't my stupid brain realize that I was safe with him.

"I'm sorry." I sniffed as my eyes started to water again. "I'm so sorry, Loki."

Loki immediately hugged me to his chest and shushed me, rubbing my back comfortingly.

"It's alright, my love. Don't be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for. Just tell me what's wrong." He cooed.

"I'm terrified, all the time." I told him. "And I can't even explain why. I'm just scared. I thought that once I made it back to you it would all go away, but-" I hugged him against me, refusing to let go. I didn't want to tell him, but I also didn't want to lie. Not that I really could. He would know instantly.

"Kitten," Loki said and ran his fingers through my hair. "That's normal after such a long time undercover." He assured. "It's normal to be scared and a bit jumpy. It'll get better, I promise."

"You're not upset?" I asked.

"Upset?" Loki questioned and pushed me back to look at me. "Why would I be upset?"

"I basically just admitted to not feeling safe with you." I said in confusion. Loki sighed and looked down for a moment.

"Do you think I would ever hurt you? Or let someone else hurt you?" He asked and looked back up to me.

"No," I shook my head. "I know you'll protect me. I know I should feel safe with you, I just can't-" I made a frustrated noise and held the side of my head.

"It's a defensive mechanism, Kitten. That's all." Loki told me and pulled my hand away from my head. He kissed my knuckles before putting it on his chest. "As long as you know I would never let anyone harm you, I'm alright. You're subconscious will catch up. I might need to work a little harder to help you feel safe, but that's fine with me." He assured, making me relax.

At my sigh of relief, Loki frowned.

"Were you really that worried that I would be upset?" He asked. I shrugged and looked away from him. Loki refused to allow me an out and turned my head back to him. "Kitten, I never want you to be afraid to tell me something. Yes, I get upset sometimes, but I'm never going to leave you, or worry any less. You're stuck with me." He smirked.

I smiled back at him as he leaned into me and kissed me. He shifted on the bed to pull me under him and I moaned when he pressed his body against me. He was still very naked from earlier. I wrapped my leg around his hip and pressed him harder against me. Loki groaned before breaking the kiss and leaning his head against my shoulder.

"Healing!" He chastised when I rolled my hips into him, feeling him grow hard against me.

"Come on, my prince." I said seductively and nipped at his ear. "You know you're going to give into me." I teased. He breathed heavily against my skin as I kissed his shoulder and rolled into him again.

"Fuck..." he groaned before lifting his head up and kissing me hard. "You will be the death of me."

"Is that a challenge?" I smiled evilly.

"Definitely not." He told me before his hands and lips were on my skin again.

Later that night I was finally asleep, curled up next to Loki, when JARVIS woke me.

"Ms. Sammee, Captain Rogers is requesting your help with Sergeant Barnes." JARVIS' voice rang through the room. I immediately jumped awake. I sat up and scanned the room for intruders.

"It's ok, Kitten. It was only JARVIS." Loki calmed me and rubbed my back as I started to relax.

"Very sorry to wake you, Ms. Sammee, but it was urgent." JARVIS replied. His words from before started to sink in as I processed... Bucky!

I jumped out of bed and quickly grabbed my shirt and pants. I threw them on before teleporting to Steve's floor. Bucky had been staying in his guest room, so Steve could be close. I raced over to the open door of Bucky's room and looked in.

Steve was sitting behind Bucky, trying to hold him down as Bucky convulsed. They were both on the floor since Bucky found it too hard to sleep in the bed and set up a makeshift one on the ground. Bucky was clearly in pain and Steve didn't look much better. Seeing his best friend like that must kill him.

As soon as I rounded the corner into the room, Steve's eyes snapped to me.

"I can't get him to wake up." He told me. "Normally, I can get him to wake up."

Steve looked a bit frantic as more pained gasps left Bucky. Bucky was sitting up against Steve's chest as Steve held his arms down. Bucky was shirtless and breathing heavily. His skin pale was sweaty, and his hair stuck to his forehead.

"How long has he been like this?" I asked as I got to his side and placed a hand on Bucky's cheek.

"Thirty minutes maybe." Steve told me as he struggled to keep Bucky's arms down.

"His terrors normally last around an hour." I said as I moved some hair from his face. "I'll need to start waking him up again." I told Steve.

When Bucky and I were at the Hydra base, I had to wake him up before his night terrors began. He did the same for me when mine started.

"I can wake Barnes up." A voice said from the doorway. I quickly got into a defensive position and turned to see Loki. Thankfully, he was dressed. I took a deep breath and relaxed once I realized it wasn't an enemy, turning back to Bucky.

"No," I simply said before I looked at Steve. "Holding his arms down probably isn't helping." I told him. By the way Bucky was jerking, I could guess what the dream was about. He was constantly dreaming about the memory suppression machine. He resisted HYDRA for twenty years before the machine finally wiped him completely.

"Let me help, Kitten." Loki said and walked to my side. "I've had to wake you up a few times from night terrors, it'll be the same for him. I just need to-" Loki started and reached his hand out. I quickly smacked his hand away and stood between them.

"No!" I said harsher than I meant to. "Don't touch him!"

It wasn't that I didn't want Loki to help, it was that he couldn't. When Loki woke me up the way he was talking about waking Bucky up, I felt like an electric shock went through my body. Bucky already felt like he was being electrocuted, Loki's magic wouldn't help. But I wasn't in the right mindset to explain that to him, or care at his hurt expression as he backed away from me.

I turned back to Bucky and crouched to cup his cheek. Bucky's eyes flew open as I touched him, but he wasn't awake. He was looking at me but he wasn't seeing me.

"Steve, I need you to let him go." I told him.

"I don't think that's a good idea." Steve said back.

"Holding him down will only make his terror continue longer." I explained.

"You sure?" Steve asked hesitantly.

"Yep." I sighed. "And whatever happens, don't get involved." I said sternly. "Either of you." I added for Loki.

Steve slowly released Bucky's arms and waited. Nothing happened for a few seconds before Bucky jumped up and grabbed me by my throat. He spun and pushed me backwards and against the mattress at the foot of the bed. My back was laying against the bed as I looked up at Bucky. His hand wasn't really tight around my throat, just threatening.

"Don't move!" I called out quickly when I saw both Steve and Loki start to jump in.

Bucky was only confused and scared. I needed to gently lead him out of this episode. I rested my hands on the metal of his arm holding me down and looked back to Bucky.

"You're ok." I cooed. "Everything's fine. You're safe in the Avengers tower with me and Steve." I told him.

I needed him to see that I wasn't a threat. The fact that he wasn't crushing my larynx was a good thing. Bucky's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he tried to figure out what was happening.

"We're not at the HYDRA base anymore. We got out, James. We're safe." I repeated soothingly.

I saw something in him click when I said his name and he blinked rapidly. When he looked back down at me I could tell that he finally saw me. His hand dropped from my throat as he fell to his knees. I sat up and his head went to my lap as his arms wrapped around my waist, hugging me for dear life. His body started to shake as he cried and I swallowed the lump in my throat as I ran my fingers through his hair.

"Out, both of you." I said to Loki and Steve. Steve hesitated for a moment, but eventually listened, but Loki didn't move. He watched Bucky with an almost blank expression. "Loki." I said to snap him out of his thoughts. "I'll be fine. Go." I told him. He hesitated for another moment before turning and leaving the room, closing the door behind him.