《As You Wish : Loki Fanfic》What's in a Name

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Rebecca Barnes, the daughter of George and Winnifred Barnes, and younger sister to James Buchanan Barnes. That was who Bucky thought I was. Nobody new much about her. All I knew was her name, that they were separated after their parents died, and that she helped Peggy start S.H.I.E.L.D. Bucky went to a family friend when their parents passed while she went to a boarding school for girls.

"Thanks, Bex." Bucky told me.

"So, where's Steve? Aren't you two, like, attached at the hip or something?" I asked to try to get the conversation back to territory I knew about, but instead Bucky furrowed his brows.

"Who- I, uhm-" he stuttered and shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. I didn't want to push him, so I changed the subject.

"Your hair's getting long." I said and reached out to touch his hair. He shifted and tensed, but didn't stop me. His hair in my reality shift wasn't as long as it was when he was the Winter Soldier, it looked more like it did in the 40's. "Mom would have a fit." I chuckled and brushed it away from his eyes. He seemed to be comfortable talking and remembering his family. It must be a bit too much right now to talk about Steve.

"There's a lot she wouldn't approve of." Bucky said and glanced at me. I nodded and tapped on my glass.

"Where are you assigned?" I asked. Bucky squinted his eyes and blinked a few times.

"With the... with the- Uhm..." he struggled to think of it.

"Really? With the 107th? That's amazing, James." I supplied with a smile.

"Uhm, ya, the- the 107th." He nodded, still a bit confused. "I-Uhm... I was..." he stopped for a moment and rubbed at his eyes. He shook his head and stared at his left arm, which looked normal thanks to my reality. He was quiet for a few more moments before he slowly looked back up. "I didn't... I didn't make it back..." he murmured.

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"No, James," I sighed, "you didn't."

We were quiet for another minute or two.

"What... So, what happened?" He asked and looked at me. I swallowed thickly before answering.

"HYDRA happened, James." I told him. He nodded before looking at his left hand again.

"Do you remember?" I asked slowly.

"I... remember... falling." Bucky told me and looked back to me. "There was a man, a soldier, blonde... He- he was trying to reach me, I think, but I-

I fell anyway."

I nodded as he talked.

"That was Steve." I smiled. "Do you remember Steve Rogers at all?" I asked softly.

"I... I don't know." Bucky shook his head as he thought. I could tell this was greatly stressing him out.

"It's ok. It's ok, James." I told him and touched his arm to get his attention again. "Do you remember what you're doing tomorrow?" I asked.

"Yes," he nodded. "I'm stopping an assassination." He said confidently.

"Do you remember who you're doing that with?" I asked softly. Bucky blinked for a minute and looked at me. He furrowed his brow as he thought.

"You're... you're not Becca." He said slowly.

"No," I shook my head. "But, you're James." I told him. "James Buchanan Barnes, also know as Bucky to your friends." I smiled and slowly started to drop the delusion around us. I started with our clothes and his hair and arm. He looked down at the metal with a deep frown, flexing his fingers over and over again.

"Look at me, James." I said forcefully. When he didn't look at me, I placed a hand on his arm. His other hand grabbed mine and twisted it off of him. I grunted in slight pain as I looked at him. He was breathing heavily and looking at me like the Winter Soldier did. We stared at each other as the rest of the illusion faded.

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"What is this?" He demanded.

"Your memories." I said while clenching my teeth through the pain.

"They're not!" He protested and crushed my hand more. I whimpered but refused to teleport away.

"James-"

"That's not my name!" He yelled at me.

"Then what is?" I asked and looked into his eyes. He blinked a few times and backed away, dropping my hand in the process. "Your name is James Buchanan Barnes. You were born in 1917. Your parents George and Winnifred Barnes were killed in an accident when you were young. Your best friend was named Steve Rogers. He-"

"Enough!" He demanded and held his head. "It's- it's not real. I don't remember that. It's not real." He mumbled to himself.

"It is." I assured him. "HYDRA captured you after you fell from the train. Their scientist at the time turned you into a super soldier and then wiped your mind to make you the perfect weapon." I told him. "But, you can't let them know you're starting to remember. They'll wipe you again if you do." I said and walked toward him. He looked up quickly and took another step back from me. "You know me." I said softly. "You trust me." I nodded in encouragement. "I'm going to get you out of this, but I can't until the time is right." I ensured. "Until then, follow orders."

He still looked confused, but nodded. His eyes were falling back to the same Winter Soldier look I've known him to have.

"Don't worry, I'm with you till the end of the line." I gave a small smile.

"Till... Till the end of the line..." he whispered back. He was staring off into the darkness with a blank look on his face.

"Why don't you try to get more sleep before our mission tomorrow." I told him. He snapped out of his thoughts and looked at me.

"No, it's your turn." He told me and looked around the room.

"I've already had my turn, Soldier, remember?" I asked. He looked at the bed for a second before nodding. "Good, well, you know the rules." I told him. "Go to sleep."

He nodded again before slowly moving towards the bed. He laid down and stared at the ceiling for a while before closing his eyes. I settled back into the chair and watched as his breathing became deeper.

When he was finally asleep I thought about what had just happened. I was able to get to Bucky. I did it, but the hard part now was not letting HYDRA find out. He needed to continue to act like the Winter Soldier.

If all went as planned, Bucky wouldn't have to run away after the events of the next movie. I had a few more months to help trigger his memory. I could do this.

I thought it was going to be easier after I triggered some memories, but when Bucky woke up almost an hour later, there was no trace of Bucky. He was the Winter Soldier again.

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