After knowing everything, it only mode me stand my opinion even stronger. I didn't need to reevaluate about my decision on forgiving jimin.

I truly forgave him and stood by it.

It wasn't like one of us was walking under the rain whilst the other one was feeling the ray of sunshine.

We both fell at the rock bottom. After speaking to Namjoon & Jin, I could only hear their words that made me see a new perspective of everything I went through.

There is always two sides to every story and sometimes, there can be more than two sides,

That day. Lee Y/n didn't only die-that park Jimin did as well.

A part of ourselves d'ed and it will never be recovered ever again. We both built walls around us to protect ourselves and we both had a hard time breaking those walls.

We each had our own walls, I was too afraid to trust whereas he was too afraid to speak and both of those things were too noticeable by our actions.

The only lucky port that he had, was that two great people found him in form of best friends I wasn't going to lie, I felt a bit jealous of their friendship.

They were literally the true epitome of best friends.

They were there through thick and thin.

If it wasn't for them, would have never gotten a new perspective.

I knew that they didn't want to change my decision or opinion, they just wanted me to make my decision after knowing the story from all perspectives.

They didn't want me to make the same mistake as their friend did and speak in the heat of the moment.

Making a decision not knowing the full story is as bad as not making a decision knowing everything.

And if I spent years looking for someone for my friend then I would want that person to know everything from all sides as well so it was completely understandable.

I mean who would search a person these many years for a friend?

Jimin might have felt an obligation but they didn't have to. In addition, there would have never been a perfect time to divulge all those information considering jimin's personality, and unfortunately or coincidentally that day at the office, was the day everything unfolded.

The rest of that day, only one question was roaming through my mind.

if I could allow my mother who abandoned me and didn't look back at me to re-enter my life again, why couldn't I do the same with jimin?

Jimin did much more than what my mother did, he did defend me in front of others after that day and spent his best years of his life looking for me while dealing with his own demons.

If I couldn't disregard all the good things my mother had done to me then how could! disregard his?

When spent the entire night dwelling because of my parents' separation, he was the one who stayed up all night to comfort me.

When started to get bullied in middle school, he was the one who protected me from the bullies and made sure that no one would ever bully me again.

When everything was too much, he would give me his shoulder to lean on-not only to cry but to give me support.

When it came to forgiveness, it seemed unfair that could forgive my mother and not him considering that he didn't result in anything that happened to me but when it come to giving a second chance, wouldn't it be hypocritical that I give a chance to my mother who erased my existence after that incident and not to him who helped find the real culprits & recover my former name?

I didn't want my bitterness and hatred towards the situation I was put in to cloud the truth, if there was one person who deserved all that hote & anger, it was Jungkook & Mia and not anybody else.

I don't think they even felt guilty or suffered as much pain as jimin did.

When you go through pain, everyone feels the extent of it. To me, my pain was greater, to my mom, her pain was greater, to his friends, his was greater.

Pain is pain, there wasn't any greater or lesser pain because at the end, we all went through pain,

If I started to compare my pain with his or vice versa, there wouldn't be any sign of compassion left.

It wasn't about competing whose pain was greater, it was about healing that pain.

If I held a grudge against him then that only meant I was incapable of fighting my own inner demons so I opted to go after an easy prey who is neither the culprit of my fall nor the perpetrators who allowed that fall.

In my mind, nothing would have changed if he had defended me on that day except for our broken friendship.

But if had spoken up or even hit the back of his head after the words he let out, would it have changed anything? Would it have brought back his rational mind? didn't know the answer.

The only thing that I knew was that my mother disrespected me through her action and my friend disrespected me through his words.

They both inflicted pain that gave me scars into my adulthood. They both weren't any different than one another but the sequence of actions they did afterwards was completely contrasting to one another.

One gove.me comforting.words whilst another gave me onswers. Comforting words didn't help treat my scors but onswers did because at least. knew why.Lgot those scars in the first place. Everyone has a different definition of redemption and forgiveness, and to me jimin fitted mines.

If I didn't forgive him or said that he didn't redeem himself or make amends, it would only be my frustration and bitterness speaking, and not the truth.

If I shouldn't forgive my mom a allow her into my life then I shouldn't forgive Taehyung either. It wasn't one and not the other it was either both or none of them.

That event will forever stain both our memories as a dark time but I didn't want the darkness to engulf me again.

This time, I didn't want to run away because there was no need for me to run away anymore.

When you look at the leaves on a tree after a storm, some leaves stay rooted whilst some fall.

Just because some leaves fell, you don't cut the tree. The tree is not the same as before but it's still there, standing in a different form.

And that's how I would define our relationship The root was still there and it was in a different form. It was ambiguous, couldn't attach a label to it. We weren't best friends like we used to and don't think that term would fit us anymore either.

He was my boss but I knew there was always a layer underneath it than what was let on the surface.

But the one thing I knew was that there was only a fine line between friendship and love but the emotions felt in it were beyond measures.

in a way, love was much more multi-layered than friendship.

I didn't know if I would lose my temper and let my emotions overpower me like jimin or if I would lose all my rational senses like jungkook.

Love was always felt at an extreme measure and I didn't feel it yet therefore I couldn't give a definite answer.

If love was something meant to happen to me then it will happen and that was my mentality about that aspect.

However, didn't want my silence to be an answer for Jimin and that's why approached him a year ago.

~