"Don't our parents say to each other or to us things that they don't mean during an argument? So many husbands and wives say unforgivable things questioning their partner's character and integrity or by insinuating things and later on repent for the words they uttered. If their significant others didn't give them a chance to prove themselves again, they wouldn't have experienced the best moment of their lives and wouldn't be living happily now" Jin said the things he thought of.

He saw so many couples go through worse things with way worst words and terrible actions than the ones you both went through but if that allowed to stop their relationship, they wouldn't be where they are now.

"Just because they did it, doesn't mean it's right" you retorted but Namjoon quickly interjected.

"You are right, it's not. Some cases can be quite toxic and obviously, we are excluding the ab'sive people. But it depends on the circumstances as well. You were both teens, 17, you weren't even adults. At that age, you say and do things irrationally. Jimin told us that you were the selfless one whilst he was the selfish one. You both had different personalities and it was the reason why you both argued sometimes" at his words, you couldn't help but reminisce of your friendship, as a few tears started forming in your eyes.

"He always put himself first before others but you weren't like that. He said that he always felt on the receiving end when he was with you. He was an immature and selfish teen. I'm not saying this because he is my friend but his perspective has changed now, he has grown and matured with time and because of the past. He thinks twice before speaking about what's on his mind and he doesn't let his emotions overpower him"

"I'm glad to hear that but it doesn't change the past.. My father wasn't the first man who broke my heart, it was him. Even when my father left, I knew I had my mother so I stayed strong but when he questioned me in front of everyone in the class - that's when I got my heart broken"

jimin didn't feel miserable before, as compared , he felt a thousand times more now. He just wanted to hurt himself to the point the pain would numb himself.

You could hear muffled wails behind you and unconsciously, it pulled your heartstrings.

Jimin was never the type of person to show his vulnerable side. You never saw him cry in front of you.

Even if he was hurt, he would rather cry by himself alone than in front of others.

You knew your words had stung him for him to react this way but you didn't want to look behind.

It wasn't because you wanted him to feel pain but because you knew if you looked, you would never get the opportunity to tell what's on your heart ever again.

"I don't want to touch a sensitive topic but if you think that Jimin didn't believe and protect you then your mother didn't either. At that age, nobody knows anyone or what's going on inside their minds. Whether it's the people who gave birth and raised you or the people who you grew up with. Everyone has a side of themselves that they don't show to anyone. It's even hidden from the people who are the closest to them"

"It's an age where people explore and are intrigued by everything. They are curious about every single thing! Some are interested in alcohol & cigarettes whereas others are interested in s*x and dr*gs. Do you think Jennie's parents knew about their daughter's insecurity and jealousy? Do you think they imagined their daughter to have such a twisted mind? Do you think Dong's girlfriend, the person who was the closest to him on an intimate level knew that he fantasied about you while he was with her? Can you really blame your mother, friend or anyone for having an ounce of doubt for a second?"

"If you were in jennie's place, wouldn't you have doubted him for even a second? Be honest with yourself, you might not have said your thoughts aloud but a sense of doubt would have kicked inside you. It was the same case for Jimin as well but the mistake he did, was that he opened his mouth and his emotions clouded his mind & heart"

you took the time to process his words.

How would you have reacted if you were in Jimin's place?

You definitely wouldn't have said anything aloud that's for sure but would you have judged him and questioned him?

"I agree with everything you are saying.. but you have to understand that when the two people who you valued the most in your life turn against you, it's the worst thing ever.....I expected them to support me and defend me but they did the complete opposite. If you are asking me whose pain was the worst whether it was my mom's or my friend's, I would say my friend's because he was the one with whom I spent the most time with and he knew about my deepest secrets. Things I didn't even tell my mom."

the more you all conversed, the more obvious it was that you weren't hurt by your friend's thought or words but his reaction.

This time, Jin voiced out his thoughts.

"We are the first ones to admit that Jimin was a terrible friend, he was a jerk, there is no denying in that. You can even ask him yourself and he will admit that. He failed as a friend and he failed his first love as well. You lost a friend in him that day but he lost both of those things, that day"

"He didn't have to change his last name, he didn't have to feel terrified that someone would find out about his past, he didn't have to live in loneliness nor did other people's words came back haunting at him in form of nightmares."

was it selfish of you to say those things? Maybe..... yes.

because you didn't know how to reply to his words.

If you had to compore both of your poins, he couldn't compare it with the pain you went through.

Sigh.

What to do? What to not?

I am scared I'll do the same mistake again.

~