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I have many toxic traits but this is one of the worst.

I don't do anything I enjoy claiming there's shit to do first.

But there's no point in doing that shit because what's the point of anything right?

So instead I do stuff that makes me miserable.

I don't get stuff done.

I don't do the stuff I love.

And whenever I force myself it's never the same.

So I wallow away doing shit that simply passes time.

And I wonder why I'm not happy.

Or not productive.

And I have no excuse.

But when that part of my brain takes over logic is no longer the same.

Life is no longer the same.

It's a dark pit swallowing me whole.

I feel so defenceless.

My brain is attacking its self and I don't know how this is supposed to make me feel safe.

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