Blaco knocks on the door of studio B and completely disrupts the studio session. Mac looks at him blankly but I am actually glad that he's interrupted us because I am so sleepy that I can feel my body dragging around the building. Of course I couldn't sleep last night after hearing that Trevon was passing up the opportunity for early release. I regret breaking my mirror because when I was getting ready this morning after two hours of sleep, I accidentally stepped on a piece of glass. It took me half an hour to stop the bleeding and attempt to clean the blood off of the white furry carpet. So I was an hour late to Mac which he was not happy about. He didn't question me much or push me too hard, something tells me he won't be on my ass until he is sure that I am over the whole shooting situation and I very much appreciate it.

"Sorry for the interruption." Blaco is in a white t-shirt with jeans and a red fedora. I always loved how he dressed. I squint at him as he opens the studio door.

"Chanel, Mila responded to the email and she is down to be on the song. She wanted to meet you in Cali on Monday, which works out because you have the show in Cali Tuesday night." Blaco looks at my schedule then back at me waiting for an answer.

I did have a show in a Cali, I guess getting to meet Mila would be killing two birds with one stone anyway. I'm excited to go to Cali, I've never been anywhere out of New York in my life. Not to mention it's 12 degrees outside.

"Yea sure." I agree drowsily and with a shrug.

Blaco looks to Mac then looks to me. As I turn my head to look at Mac, I can see him staring deep into me. I hold his gaze, not blinking and his face remained firm, headphones sitting on top of his head, pencil diddling between his fingers.

"Close the door, Blaco." He says.

Blaco exits and I stay slouched over in my chair, even though everything about Mac's persona tells me to straighten up and at least pretend to be focused on a record winning album of the third and youngest female rapper and singer to sign to Atlantic.

"Talk." Mac says with a quiet but authoritative voice.

"There's nothing to-"

"Chanel." He interrupts and his eyes are set on mine again.

I take a deep breath and search for the words but they don't come, even when I open my mouth to begin. I close my mouth and look at my shoes. I slide my hands underneath my thighs and try again.

"Trevon." Is all that manages to come out and it's stupid that in the 2 minutes of silence that Mac has given me to speak, I haven't come up with something better. But that was all I had.

"Trevon is the other artist Flex was telling me about, right?" He questions and leans forward. I look at him carefully and nod.

"What about him?" He urges me to continue.

Was that all he knew? That he was the other artist? The other rapper?The other talent that Flex took under his wing?

He didn't know that I landed him in jail, or that I fell in love with him before I left for school and before he was incarcerated? That all my poems and songs are about him? That above our whole friendship, he is my inspiration and all together motivation. The one I aim to please with my new poetry or songs? The only person I ever want feedback from? The only person who could read me like that back of their hand? Did he know?

I take a very deep breath and begin a story that starts from when I was 8 years old and stretches up until the present day including last night. What I loved about Mac was that he didn't interrupt me or begin to look bored, he just sat there for an hour while I poured out everything to him in a way that I felt empty and light after I was done.

"Chanel." He says calmly. I recognize the tone from when Trev tried to talk to me last night.

"It's not just snitching, it's a man's honor, it's the very code that built us. You know my upbringing, you know where i'm from. And even though you from the same place, you ain't been through the same shit. You were in the hood but the hood wasn't in you. You managed to escape the gruesome parts. So where you were able to come out your house and see a body on the pavement, I was there a few minutes earlier behind the gun that shot him, in some cases I was even the body on the pavement." He chuckles but the chuckle holds pain. I watch emotions pass through his eyes like a child looking out the window of a moving car. And just as they passed I wrestled with their meanings.

"When you were hearing gunshots in your room, I was running from them. When you were at school studying your ass off for Harvington, I was flippin bud or bricks. I'm not saying that Trevon has it as hard, he sounds like he has a good head on him. He sounds smarter than me. But what I'm saying is you don't know what he's seen and you don't know what can happen to him or the people he loves if he were ever to snitch. It's a ripple effect. Niggas get killed for shit like that. I've killed niggas for shit like that. And you know that right after I got out of jail, after doing my 15 years, wasn't shit I could do but make something out of myself. Just from what you described, I see a lot of myself in Trevon." Mac shakes his head and sighs.

"You can't be mad at him for protecting his honor and the people around him. He might even be protecting you." Mac points at me hard and I can feel it stab into my chest though his hand is far away.

"You can't leave him again. As much as you gettin mad and sayin that you need him, imagine how he feels on the inside with NOBODY to talk to about this. He called you to hear you talk him into snitching, knowing he wasn't going to do it, why?" He asks. It's one of those questions teacher asks when the student knows the answer but doesn't want to prove the teacher right.

"Why?" He asks again. I was taking too long and my stubbornness wouldn't allow me to respond.

"Because he just wants to know you still care about him. When you stuck in there its easy to forget that people love you. It's easy to get depressed and fall out and lose your mind. He needs you and he just wanted to hear you ask him to take it."

It's silent as I realize wholeheartedly that everything Mac is saying is true and maybe I needed to hear this from someone else. Someone like him. Maybe if Flex was already better, he would have given me this speech. The person I am won't allow me to show Mac that he got through to me, but Mac knows that he has.

He turns in his chair, puts one headphone over his ear and starts the track, as he begins to adjust the reverb and volume of my voice, he glances at me again.

"Better call that boy and apologize."

_____________________________

"Girlllllll it's LIT AS SHIT RIGHT NOW!"

Trisha exclaims as she sits in the waiting area of the airport in sunglasses, flipflops and a Donald duck floaty around her waist. I don't know how she cleared security or even why I have decided to take her to California with me, knowing damn well what I am getting myself into.

The white people around us stare her down with confused looks on their faces and Trisha smiles and waves at each one.

I have been laughing all morning.

"You know that we might not even get to go to the beach right? This is a business trip?" I ask her, tilting my head to the side.

"We don't need to go to the beach, our hotel got a pool bitch!" She laughs and sticks her tongue out and pulls a pamphlet of our hotel out of the back of the floaty. I rub my eyes.

"Boarding all first class passengers." The lady on the speaker announces.

Trisha leans back slightly and launches herself up along with her floaty. The small action in itself draws so much attention to us that I have to look down at my bags, pretending to focus on picking them up.

"Welp." She says wobbling in front of the white people, Donald duck squeezing through the line along with her.

"Sorry." I apologize as I follow behind her.

We make it into first class and find our seats. The chairs are turned towards each other and there is a small table in between Trish and I. The plane windows line themselves up to the left of me and the light hits the hardwood of the table and arm rests perfectly. I stretch out my feet and lean back, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.

"This is nice." Trish comments.

"It is. I think we get to order anything we want on the menu too. It's on Atlantic." I repeat what Blaco told me and I am temporarily sad him or Mac aren't coming until the show Tuesday.

"Yea, I already ordered." Trisha says to me in a 'Duhh' manner. I look at her confused.

"How did you already order, Trish. We just got on the plane." I look around as others begin entering their first class seats. Mostly more old white people.

"You could have ordered in advance online." Trisha explains.

I hold in my laugh so I can look at her like she is impossible.

"Ya greedy ass really would find out you can order the food online." I mumble.

"I'm bout to find my baby zaddy in Cali." Trisha sings. Aside from the floaty and shades we had both got our hair done and she looked great with here wavey hair with the honey brown tips. Her smooth milk brown skin would definitely tan nicely. Maybe she would find her man in Cali. A part of me hopes that she forgives Pookie so they can just keep the dating in the group.

"What happens when you find him and then have to return to New York?" I ask amused.

"Ain't no returnin, just visits." She pushes her big glasses up on her face.

"You would just leave me like that?" I ask fake shocked.

There is silence before Trisha peaks at me her eyes above her glasses.

"Yes."

She responds.

We laugh it up and the plane begins to move. Trisha not only pre-ordered food but she pre-ordered a whole entre for us to try. The first dish was grilled chicken and rice with some kind of special gravy. The second dish was cocktail shrimp and I almost froze in shock when I saw a third dish with pigs in a blanket coming towards us. I had to apologize to the flight hostess who actually seemed to have grown tired of bringing and picking up trays from our table like this was a restaurant.

"Look at me." I said to Trish as she was about to pass out from the itis.

She looks.

"I'm not bringin you anywhere with me again." I say firmly.

She chuckles and falls asleep with the smile still on her face.