Dr. Ben leads me up to the ICU ward with Pookie close behind. The ICU ward seems dimly lit and has a more calm home atmosphere. It even seems more quiet and less active. The nurses speak quietly between each other, laughing or chatting about their personal life. The secretary of the floor stares me down as if she wants to say something. Her eyes look like they are about to bulge out of her head. I give her a half smile, not knowing what else to do and continue walking past with Dr. Ben.

"Our secretary is a fan of yours." Dr. Ben lightly smiles as he walks as fast as the Doctors do.

That explains a lot.

I haven't said a word to Pookie, I'm very surprised he is still around the area. Pretty brave of him to stick around like he didn't just kill somebody. A part of me truly respects him and even though I can't be as mad at him as is probably necessary, I avoid talking since I don't really know what to say either.

Dr. Ben walks into a room larger than the others and pulls the curtain away, I can see the outline of Flex's body and when the curtains move far enough for me to see his face, I am shocked that all I want to do is wrap myself around him in one of his famous bear hugs. His eyes are closed and he looks at peace, his chest rises and falls just like Mom's. Flex's dreds lay with him on the pillow and scatter around is head, making him look like a dark skinned King of some sort.

"He's doing very well. The antibiotics are working and the infection is almost completely cleared up. I can't make any promises but he is well on the road to recovery.

I feel as though a ton of bricks has been lifted from my shoulder. Suddenly I am light and free, even a little light headed. I sit down and take a moment to thank God personally, not caring that Dr. Ben and Pookie are watching me.

Dr. Ben has a wide smile on his face.

"He will need a few weeks for recovery, but he is doing good so far." Dr. Ben assures.

I nod.

"How long before he wakes up?" I ask almost too excited.

"We are going to keep him asleep for a few days, give the body some time to heal and recover. The feeding tubes will deliver the food and nutrients. We also don't want the whole media thing stressing him out before his body can handle it." Dr. Ben looks to myself and Pookie as he speaks.

I take Flex's hand in mine and press my cheek against it.

"Thank God, you're gonna be good. I don't know what I would do without you honestly." I laugh lightly.

Dr. Ben leaves and Pookie and I stay in the room not saying a word to each other.

"Has Trisha asked about me?" His voice sounds odd in the quiet room and I realize that I have almost forgotten what it sounds like because he hasn't spoke in so long.

He sounds sad. He misses her, of course.

He knows that he fucked up.

I tell him the truth.

"Nah, she's really mad at you. I don't know if she's gonna bounce back that fast."

He looks at his shoes and shrugs like a thug but Pookie is no thug and it was not convincing at all.

"Gotta do what you gotta do, huh?" He attempts to reason with me but I don't respond.

"Whatever." He says into the quietness.

"You didn't have to kill someone." I say sternly.

"Don't act like you not happy. I saw that momentary spark in your eyes when I told you." He objects.

I am taken aback.

"Yea, Trev ain't the only one that can read you." His face looks troubled and defensive.

He walks to my side of the room, and stands right in front of my chair.

"You should be the last person to act like you can't forgive someone after what you done to Trev. At least the shit that I did was to protect y'all."

I leave my eyes on Flex and match my breathing with his.

"I don't want to fight right now. Not after this good news. Alright? So just chill." I end the discussion calmly and he doesn't spark it back up.

"I'm glad he's good though." Pookie says after a few minutes has passed.

"Yea." I answer. I kiss his cheek and rest my head on his arm.

I don't notice that Pookie has taken Flex's hand. I guess Flex had become somewhat of a Father to all of us. Seeing him in this position was painful but knowing that he might be alright was a big relief. I went to the bathroom and left Pookie with Flex. While in there I switched on my phone and opened up my instagram. It's been a while since I've even sort of communicated with my fans. I checked myself in the mirror, smoothed down my hair that had bungled up in an array of curls, straightened my grey hoodie and took a deep breath.

I switched the camera to selfie mode and held down the video button.

"Morning everyone. As you may know, it's been a rough week with all that's happened. Just wanted to say thank you for your prayers and comments. Both Flex and my Mother are alive and recovering and I am more than thankful for that. Continue to keep us in your prayers, thank you."

I post the video then take a couple minutes to freshen up. When I look back at my phone, my notifications are in the thousands. Most of them are likes for the video, but the others are comforting comments. I lean my back against the wall and take some times to read them.

Oh, thank God they are going to be fine

Prayers going out in Cali

Be strong

How is she still so beautiful even in distress

I scroll through all the comments, laughing at some, trying not to cry at others. I begin responding to a few which only make the comments come in faster. I love my fans. I didn't know they would be so concerned. I only had more to work for now. I can't disappoint them.

As I exit the bathroom, I see Devin turn the corner. I haven't said much to him since we left the hotel this morning and I know that's childish but I don't know why things even got that far. It was a good distraction but that was it.

I tilt my head down as soon as we make eye contact and then he begins walking straight towards me.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" He questions.

"Good." I answer politely. We stand there for a few moments with nothing to say then finally I open my mouth.

"Look. I-"

"Don't worry about it. Won't happen again." He interrupts. He gives a warm smile and even though my brain knows full and well that there is no way Devin is okay with a one night hook up, I smile and outstretch my arms for a hug. He hugs me warm still. I stay in it for a moment and then let go. He makes sure not to let go until I do and when I look at his face again, he makes sure to remove any signs of sadness or anger. I don't understand why Devin would put himself through so much for me when all I do is continue to hurt him.

I've never considered myself a fucked up person but right in this moment, I figured maybe I am. Maybe I'm an asshole just like half the people on this planet. I don't even deserve Devin's attention. Girls would kill for him.

"What's the news on Flex?" He asks shoving his hands into his pockets. Just that gesture was so sexy and instead of swooning over him, all I can think about is how Trev used to look with his hands in his pockets.

"He's recovering. The Doctor said he just might be alright after a few weeks." I inform and Devin's face lights up.

"That's great. " He nods.

I nod.

Then silence.

Yup, I was right. There was no way Devin was alright with this one night hook up because he isn't a one night hook up kind of guy. Hell, I asked him to sleepover that one night in college and look at this shit. I got myself a loyal puppy for life.

Maybe it's true about the nice guys.

Maybe they don't make it too far. I sigh and sway from my tippy toes to my heels.

"I'm leaving back to Albany at 12." Devin says casually. "Are you staying?"

I think for a moment. Mom is awake now and Flex is on his way to recovery. They both sleep through most of the days so maybe heading back to Albany and completing the album wasn't a bad idea. I owed my fans that right? To get right back to work after a traumatic experience? To just throw myself back in it.

"Let me call Mac and see what he's saying." I respond.

"I've been updating Mac daily. He says to take as much time as you need."

Of course he did. Mac loves Flex and he loves me almost as much as Flex loves me. But it was time to get back to work. For one thing I don't want Ma anywhere near the hood when she's out the hospital. Until I can buy her a house in the hills, I'm coming back to get her as soon as she is out the hospital. Something tells me she won't want to leave but it's too dangerous here. I can't sleep at night knowing people may still be out to get us. With Devin behind me, I head back to Flex's room and see Pookie watching TV next to Flex's bed.

He dabs up Devin, remembering him from one of my shows but I can tell instantly that he is suspicious. There's something about Devin when he walks into a room. He brings some kind of manliness and protection along with him. The true definition of Alpha and it was easy to see other men lose their confidence around him.

I spoke quickly, disrupting whatever was fueling in the air. Pookie was a little on edge these days and I didn't want him to start anything.

"Yo, Ima go see Ma one more time and then head back to Albany for a few days. I think ima take her up to Albany with me next week. Move her in temporarily, cause you know I got my own crib up there now. I don't really want her down here." I shrug.

Pookie nods.

"That's smart but you know she's not going to just up and move. You know she as stubborn as yo ass." He shakes his head.

I did know that, for a fact. The attitude and stubbornness most definitely came from her.

"Worth a try." I sigh.

Pookie gets up and I give him a long hug, a hug so long that Devin turns away.

"I love you." I say to Pookie honestly.

"Love you too, Empress. Talk to you soon." He says quietly.

And just like that, I feel that any kind of beef is squashed.

The one hug spoke volumes. He was hurting for what he did, I know that. But he was right, I was a little happy even though I didn't want to be at all. I was thankful and I didn't like it, but I was. Pookie really looks out for me and if he really does end up in jail for it, I would be there. Especially when Trisha's left him too.

Devin and I head down to Ma's floor and I wait half an hour for her to wake up. When her eyes finally flicker open I place kisses all over her face. But she doesn't respond to them. She doesn't smile or even move. I pull back to look at her face and when I do my heart breaks into pieces.

Her eyes are glossed over and some tears have spilled onto her cheeks.

Her lips are trembling.

She pulls in a loud and deep breath, bows her head and cries.

She remembers.