I am by my Mother in the blink of an eye. Hugging her, crying, crying and hugging her, laughing, apologizing for Trisha's curse words. All of it pouring out of me like an overflowing fountain.

I kiss her cheeks and hand a dozen times and she weakly rubs my face with her thumb.

"I almost thought I lost you." I say, my face buried into her neck.

I laugh and sniffle then wipe away the water running from my eyes.

"You know I ain't goin nowhere baby." Ma attempts to laugh but it sounds strained. She winces slightly and moves her shoulder up. She looks around briefly.

"Hm, hospital?" She ponders.

"Yea, you were rushed here after things went down back at the house." Trisha says as she holds Ma's other hand.

Mom looks to Trisha then to me, a completely confused stare on her face and crinkles on her forehead.

"Back at the house?" She questions, but with every passing word her voice grows weaker.

Did she not remember what happened?

They said she hit her head. Were pieces of the puzzle missing?

Nurse Wallace enters the room after knocking twice. No one responded to her so she came in and when she saw Mom was awake she smiled sweetly. She seemed truly happy that Mom was alright. Everything about Ms. Wallace was very genuine.

"Ahh, Ms. Ingo, great to have you back. How are you feeling?" Ms. Wallace questions. She walks closer to Ma and begins examining the bandages around her head and the point of entry of the bullets.

"Fine." Mom tries to respond.

Ms. Wallace watches my Mother carefully, a crinkle in her own forehead.

"Don't speak dear. Nod or shake your head for me. Do you know why you are here?" She asks.

Ma waits for a moment as if she is really trying to think. As if she is trying hard to recall the events that happened the last time she was awake but then after a few moments, Ma shakes her head and suddenly seems upset with herself. Worry crosses her eyes and she begins to panic.

Secretly, I begin to panic.

She opens her mouth to speak but Nurse Wallace stops her.

"It's okay. You just woke up. Give your voice some time to adjust, I will bring you water and some pain killers. The good thing is that you are here, conscious and able to recognize your loved ones." Nurse Wallace lifts her hands from my Mother's shoulder.

She walks up to me by the door and whispers.

"Don't remind her of anything that happened. This is very common, especially if the incident was traumatic. Let her be happy and relaxed for now. Her body can't handle too much stress." Nurse Wallace orders.

I nod.

As she walks out, I follow her and close Ma's door behind me.

"What does this mean about the head injury? Is it serious?" I ask.

Nurse Wallace looks down the hallway and then back at me.

"Sweetie, I don't have the knowledge or experience to answer these questions as I should. Wait for Dr. Ben. He will be here early in the morning." She wonders off a different room and I am left in the hallway to have the voices in my head get to me. I shake them out and go back to Ma.

Trisha is rubbing her hand and Ma is laughing. There is a wide smile on her face and I don't know the story Trisha is telling her but she is very amused by it.

I missed Ma's smile, even if it was confused and probably out of context given the serious times.

I had a lot to be thankful for.

She was alive and mostly here.

Here enough to remember Trisha and I.

I tell Trisha what Nurse Wallace ordered me to do and Trisha nods as if she is way ahead of me.

We allow Mom to be happy until new pain meds come in and some food. Trisha heads home and I stay the night, chatting it up.

Mom falls asleep for an hour then wakes me up at 3 AM.

"Sweetie, Trevon came by the house the other day lookin for you. I said boi, y'all gon be together one day. I'm waiting on it."She chuckles.

Her words are clearer now but she speaks slowly.

It's impossible that she saw Trev ' the other day', when he's been locked up for months.

Her speaking about him makes me want to cry. I take a deep breath and play along with her as Nurse Wallace ordered.

"Yea, maybe one day." I say hoping that she wont notice my smile and reactions are fake.

Ma glares at me like she is upset and I watch her carefully. Her pouting lips quickly turned to a devious smile.

"Don't play with me child, I saw you kiss Trevon when he dropped you home yesterday." Ma laughs and shakes her head.

I pull in a sudden breath.

I cannot tell if I want to scream or cry.

"Mom, why don't you try to get some more rest. You shouldn't be up talking this much." I say as nicely and politely as I can.

"Tryna get rid of me already, huh? Ain't I just wake up?" She coughs.

I am silent with my hands folded in the chair. I sit straight and I can feel that I look very uncomfortable but I cannot move as every muscle in me tenses. How much can she not remember? How much of it is mixed up and will she come back to normal?

"What got me in here? The blood pressure again? The salt?" She questions. Her smile is still on her lips, something playful. Something that leaves me uneasy.

I am uneasy because I can't stop thinking about how hard this is all going to hit her when she finally comes to realization. I'm uneasy because in a few hours, days, maybe even weeks when all her memory returns, she will only be greeted with bad news.

I shake the image of her hunched over crying like she used to do when Dad would call from jail. I shake the image out of my head.

"The salt." I answer after a few moments.

________________________________________________

"Stop crying. Just breathe." Devin's voice usually settles me down but not tonight. I sit in the small and empty bathroom tucked behind the janitor closet.

Wondering around the hospital so late at night, you find some interesting things.

I've lost count of how many times I have cried in the last few days. I don't think I've ever cried this much in my life.

"Deep breaths." He coos.

I take a few and attempt to settle down.

"Devin, she's going to remember everything in a matter of hours and I can't be here for that. I won't be here to tell her Flex is still fighting for his life after all this time. It's been days." As I speak, I can feel the tears coming back. I can feel my heart racing and my stomach curling.

"Chanel, you can't shield her from the truth forever. She does have to deal with it eventually. But after all that is over, she will be alive and healthy and-" I cut him off.

"No, you don't understand. You don't understand that there hasn't been a man in her life for literally a decade. She loves Flex." My voice is raised and I don't mean to yell at him but Devin wasn't getting it.

His end of the phone is quiet.

I take a few moments to compose myself again.

"I'm sorry." I mumble.

"No, I just hate hearing you like this and feeling so helpless." His voice begins to do the soothing job it's best at.

"Do you want me to come back?" He asks selflessly.

Tears escape for a reason I do not know. I nod as if he can see me.

"Please." I respond.

It is 8 AM when I wake up with a terrible neck ache from sleeping upwards in the hospital chair. My phone vibrates and I glance at Ma who is fast asleep. I answer the phone with a whisper.

"Hello."

"Hey, I'm around the corner, do you want something to eat?" Devin asks.

The thought of food makes my stomach turn.

"Not much of an appetite." I answer.

"Okay, i'll bring something anyway. Be there soon." He says before the call ends.

I don't notice that I've dozed off again until I hear Ma's room door creak open. There he stands, McDonald's bag in one hand and hot chocolate in the other. His hair hasn't been cut and his face is scruffy as his beard grows out. He wears the Harvington grey sweats and a red hoodie. Softly he closes the room door and sets the food on the tray next to Ma's bed. He sets his coat down in the chair and then walks over to me.

He pulls me up and into a warm embrace.

Devin kisses my forehead and I leave my eyes closed long after his lips leave.

"Chan, you look insane. You need to get some sleep and food." He mumbles into my hair.

I shake my head. "I'm fine. Just worried about them." I breathe in his sweet scent that I have missed in just a few days.

The smell is familiar and it calms me.

"But I'm worried about you." He sighs.

Devin picks up the hot chocolate and stretches it out to me. I look at it in his hands, then up at his pleading face. I take it from him and watch his tense body relax.

Wow.

He really cares about me. Reminds me of someone.

I take a few sips and I am amazed at how good it is. It wakes up my appetite and after I finish the hot chocolate, I decide to give the breakfast a try.

Before I can sink my teeth into the breakfast sandwich, Dr. Ben appears at the door.

"Good morning, Chanel. How are you?" He smiles.

Smiling is good. This is a good thing.

"Ma's alive. So I'm not doing as bad as I could be." I respond. I put the food down and stand up.

"I heard. I have her overnight lab results and she is doing absolutely fine. She needs to heal, but we can release her in under a week. I just want to watch the head injury a little more." He nods as he flips through her chart.

"She wasn't able to remember what happened. Like none of it." I say quietly to the Doctor.

He nods like this is nothing new.

"That is very normal, not remembering the traumatic experience that got her here. That will come back little by little on its own time. I was worried about her forgetting other things like her name, or her family members. I am happy to say, your Mother is well on the way to recovery." Dr. Ben smiles brightly.

I look at Devin who has a small smirk on his face. An "I told you so" smirk.

I allow myself to smile slightly but my smile disappears within a few minutes.

"What about Flex." I probe.

The entire aura of the hospital changes.

"Well something happened that we were afraid of. The bullet was in the stomach tissue so long that the area is now infected, before we properly treat him for anything else, we have to give him the antibiotics until the infection clears up. Once the antibiotics kick in, we can see how he responds to our other treatments. There still some rough road ahead for Mr. Anthony." Dr. Ben finishes.

I nod, hopeful. The news could be worse for both of them.

But they were both alive and I don't know if Dr. Ben is one of he main people I should thank for that but I reach out and hug him tightly.

"Thank you for doing everything you can to help us. " I mumble into his clothes.

He hugs back softly.

"It's my job." He lets go of me and I step back. "You should go and get some rest. Come back in a day or two. They need to sleep, that is when the body heals the fastest."

I shake my head. " I can't go home to where it all happened, I'll go crazy."

Dr. Ben nods understanding.

"Is there a friend you can stay with? I'm not trying to kick you out of the hospital but you will go crazy in here too." He chuckles.

I bite my bottom lip and look at Ma still asleep.

"I got her." Devin jumps in.

I glance at him now confused. What does he mean he got me? He avoids my stare.

The Doctor promises to keep me updated before exiting but when he is gone, Devin starts to pack up his things.

"You're leaving?" I ask sadly.

"No." He answers honest. "WE are leaving."

I take my seat by my Mother and cross my legs.

"Chanel, look at you. Look at your hair, your eyes. You need to get out of this place. Just for a few days." Before he walks over to me he does a long sigh.

"Don't you want to sleep in an actual bed even for a few hours?Take a bath?" Devin stretches out his hands and I look at them not phased at all by his intervention.

"Come on, we can always come back when you're ready." He adds.

My stomach growls and I realize that I still haven't eaten the breakfast sandwich he brought me. I look at the tray of food and as if he followed my eyes, he snatches the bag right off the tray.

"No food unless you come with me." He says firmly.

"That's a bit much, don't you think?" I roll my eyes.

"Nope, you come with me, you get the tasty food." He says waving the bag around.

I cross my legs in the other direction and lean my cheek on my hand, staring at my Mother breathe in and out.

"Okay, have it your way." Devin shrugs. He lets go of the bag and it falls into the garbage by the door.

I feel my heart fall out of my chest temporarily.

"Devin!" I whisper firmly. "There are starving peop-"

"Come on." He says stretching out his hands for me to take once again. I take it this time and we gather my things and then leave. I kiss Ma a dozen times first.

___________________________________________________

Our Marriott hotel room is spotless and smells just like every hotel room I have been to. It is still early in the morning. So early that we can still make it to the continental breakfast and we do. After dropping our things off in the room, Devin watches me eat 4 pancakes with eggs, way too much bacon and a biscuit, topped with orange juice.

He watches me the whole time almost laughing at how fast the food is entering my mouth.

The news flashes on and I can only guess that they are talking about the shooting. My face pops up on the TV screen and then before I can hear anything, Devin turns it off. Everyone in the breakfast lounge begins looking at us shocked. It's time to leave.

I take a long hot shower with the hotel soap and then let the jet like water wash it off me. I wash my face a dozen times hoping to bring back the youthfulness it once had instead of this plague of worry. When I exit the bathroom, I throw on one of Devin's big shirts and fall asleep until midnight.