"If we cut the beat right where you spit these 8 bars then bring it back in here"- Mac points to squiggly lines on the monitor-"then we get a better impact and it completely stands out."

The studio is quiet apart from all the work we are doing in studio C. I have my hands deep into my hoodie and though I am still a bit tired for it being so early in the morning, I am still giving my all to this studio session.

Mac said we needed to release another single before the week ends, something that will set the tone for the entire album, something that will have enough of an impact to hype the album up so much that we barely need to promote. That's a lot of pressure, but it's good pressure. It pushes me more than I would have naturally pushed myself.

"Go back in the booth and knockout this verse, give me energy and character." He says.

The past few days I've gotten to focus so little on school that I forget I am attending, I skipped a few classes so I can write the verses or rewrite the hooks. I haven't told Mac, but there are midterms coming up that I am completely not prepared for. And the weight is beginning to weigh on my chest.

After I drop the verse, Mac cuts the track and calls me back out of the booth.

I sit down in front of him and he stares at me with his eyebrows pointing down.

"What's on your mind?" He asks. My spinning chair moves from side to side and I look at him, ready to pretend nothing is on my mind but when I look into his eyes, I see that it would be impossible to lie.

So I don't even try it.

"I'm behind in school, it's becoming hard to balance both worlds with everything we're preparing for." I say quietly.

He nods understanding.

"I thought this would happen sooner or later and it's honestly going to get much busier. So I thought ahead of you." He replies.

I feel the wrinkles in my forehead as confusion sits on my face.

"What did you think of?" I ask curious.

"It depends on how you answer this question, Chanel. What do you want more at the moment? Your college degree or a shot at being a musical female legend. Not even female, just a musical legend in general?" He leans forward and places his hands on his knees staring at me.

"If you want your degree, you are just going to have to work harder on time management and you can do that if you put your mind to it."

I stare to the side of him at the wall that holds countless awards, plaques and Grammy's and I want it more than anything, but I was in school for my poetry. A different part of me that I really wanted to develop.

"If you want to be in the music game, Blaco already obtained the papers you would have to sign and fill out for either a leave of absence or complete withdrawal. The leave of absence gives you 8 quarters to return to the school, the withdrawal takes you out completely. You can still go through the process and reapply when you're ready. But you might be rolling around in too much bread." He finishes.

The humor goes over my head as my brain wraps around leaving the University I worked so hard to get into.

"If it makes you feel better, schools usually take back stars easily. It's good for their publicity. In a matter of months their attendance is going to spike JUST because you spent a few months there." Mac chuckles deeply.

I give him a half smile.

"I'll give you the rest of the day to go home and think about it." He says "Your head isn't here and your fans require your head to be here for this project."

"Okay." I mumble. I slip my coat over my shoulders and grab my bag.

As I walk out of studio C, Devin is throwing on his coat to leave. I guess his shift just ended, but I haven't spoken to him since I've been back. I stop in my tracks and bump into Mac who is walking behind me.

"Sorry." I laugh off.

"Who you bout to run from?" He laughs looking up to meet Devin's face. I don't think he thinks anything of it because he walks past me and greets Devin with a dab.

"Dev, take her back to campus for me. That's where you headed right?" Mac says.

"Yea, I got you." He says to Mac, but his eyes don't meet mine again.

"Thank you, I think Big is on his lunch break." Mac says. He goes behind the secretary desk and sits by the computer.

There is a steady rhythm of rain outside and the rain drops slide down the exit door. I pull my Hoodie over my head and Devin opens the umbrella.

"You ready?" He says, still not meeting my eyes.

"Yea." I respond quietly.

I walk next to him as the rain and wind rock the umbrella even though he is holding it firmly. He still opens the door for me and holds the umbrella over my head until I get in.

He closes the door before walking to his side and when he sits he stares straight ahead of him, quiet and static. I think he is going to say something but he only starts the car and drives out of his parking spot and onto the main road.

I watch the rain hit the window to my side and decide to speak before I die from the awkwardness.

"I'm sorry." I say honestly.

"Don't worry about it." He says so quickly after me that I almost don't get the words out.

The car is quiet for at least a mile and the air is tense and seems to be frozen solid. I struggle to take in a deep breath.

I don't say anything else and he seems to finally relax as his hands settle down on the wheel. We arrive at campus and he parks in Harvington's driveway.

He gets out the umbrella, walks to my side, opens my door and walks me to the front of the building. I was shocked that even while upset with me he was still a complete gentleman. I sighed frustrated with myself. How many girls wanted this perfect man and couldn't find him anywhere. I feel like I am asking for forgiveness a lot these days.

"Would you like to come in?" I say noticing he calmed down. "I need someone to talk to...if you care."

He closes the umbrella and follows me up the stairs and to my room. On entrance I am pleased that the place is empty. I sit my bag down and take off my coat. He does the same.

I sit in my chair and he sits at the edge of my bed.

"Are you going to tell me what happened at home?" He asks comfortingly and low.

I move my straightened hair behind my ears.

I don't answer. I don't know how to answer without hurting him in the process. Oh hey, Devin. I fell in love with someone before coming here and then got him locked up and started something completely new with you.

"It was him, right? That guy you were with before you came here?" Devin questions, no hint of anger in his words this time. I look at him now, still very beautiful despite my mood. He had gotten a haircut and he was wearing a dark green shirt with some old jeans that still fit him perfectly.

I still don't respond. Would the confirmation of his question spark the anger?

"Hey." He calls. "You invited me up, don't dodge my questions."

I watched his innocent and soft face pout and instantly felt more sad

"If you need time to figure some stuff out, that's okay. I'm not going to be mad with you. I just came into the picture." He gets off my bed and walks over to my desk. He places his hands on my shoulder and lightly begins to massage them.

It is both comforting and relaxing. I close my eyes and let out a sigh.

"Mmm." He hums. "She makes a sound." He teases softly.

"Tell me what's wrong? I won't get mad this time, I really have no right to. I apologize for how I acted in the car." His sentences are seconds a part and they calm me with the rain, until I remember why I left Mac so early.

"I'm not doing well in school. I might have to leave Harvington for a while to focus on music but I worked so hard to get in here." I sigh.

The massage stops and he freezes. I turn to look at his face with emotion I cannot read. He composes himself.

"What are you going to do?" He questions.

"I'm going to do the leave of absence. My fans deserve for me not to be tired and low energy on this mixtape. I want to give it my best." I look down.

The massage starts again and I am grateful.

"You can probably come back after the first mixtape is released." He says trying to find a bright side.

I shake my head. "Tour."

Mac said the tour was in the future and that it would be needed to spread my sound and gain fans as well as promote the mixtape and perform songs the fans would now know. Devin doesn't speak. I know that he is sad I am leaving.

"I'll still be in Albany because I'll be working with Mac. I don't know where I'll be living but Mac seems to be a dozen steps a head of me in everything so.." I shrug.

His hands keep moving, loosening every knot in my neck and shoulders, he is really good at it. I keep my eyes closed before I feel a light kiss on my cheek, then neck, then shoulder. My mind wants to stop him but my body is completely responsive. I tilt my head to the side so he can continue. He moves my sweater off my shoulder so my skin is exposed and he kisses it lightly again. This time it give me shivers. I'm sure he picks up on my body language, the deep breaths I am pulling in. He moves his lips back to my neck and kisses it soft again, my hands reach up to his head and I pull him closer. He smells so good.

He kisses my cheek then turns my head towards him and kisses my lips. I missed his taste. So smooth and soft.

My eyes are closed and I don't notice when he moves away. My lips remain there, parted, waiting for more but all I get is words.

"I like you Chanel." He says, face close to mine.

"I know." I respond moving closer, but he moves farther from me.

"But there's someone still in the picture and I'm a very jealous man. I want you to myself." His voice is like a whisper and the air brushes against my skin. He turns my chair around to face him and kisses my head lightly -

"Mind", he kisses my chest twice, in two different places,

"Body and soul."

Devin looks into my eyes and it is silent in the room.

"He still has all of me."

I state accepting it for myself. I swallow loud and stare straight in front of me, avoiding Devin's eyes but feeling the room itself go cold. What was I doing? Here with Devin? Here with another man?

Again?

When did I become this person?

Devin takes a few steps away from me and he laughs to himself.

"Then why am I here?" He questions suddenly serious.

You're here because I can't kiss or feel Trev for a year and a few more months. You're here because you're a good guy and I seem to take advantage of those.

"I-I'm not sure." I mumble.

"Let me know when you figure things out." He takes his things and leaves.