Pookie sat on the couch with Trisha's head laid across his lap. He was playing in her hair and from the booth I could see him laughing as she spoke. She looked like I did with Trev. So relaxed and happy. I often wished they would stop playing around and just make it official but unlike I do, they have time. I only had a month or so left and I was dependent on making it count. These days were spent completely on Trev and I went to Ma's room to talk and sleep most nights, but I hadn't seen Trev in the past two days. Today Flex said the main focus was getting the songs out to Mac, so we've been recording tracks that show my vocal range which I notice is pretty limited. A vocal coach would do me good. 

After attempting to hit a note I knew I couldn't, I took off my headphones. Flex looked at me with a grin, his hands resting on his cheeks like a little child.

"You're not pushing yourself." He mouthed. I opened the door and got out the booth.

"Play it back." I stated.

I heard where my voice cracked and rolled my eyes annoyed with myself.

"You will get it, go try again. I can't really give you pointers on how to sing but that's why you're getting a vocal coach. Try singing with more power. Gimme more power and sing from your diaphragm." Flex said.

This went on a few more minutes, and then within the hour we had some good takes to send. Trev was late and at first I didn't mind but then I began to worry. With all the drama on the block I didn't put it pass anyone to get violent.

"Pookie, you seen Trev?" I asked.

"Nah. Not in a day or two. He said he was chillin with y'all yesterday." Pookie answered.

I looked at Trisha who had a face just as puzzled as mine. "He wasn't with us at all yesterday, why would he tell you that?" I asked.

Pookie took out his phone and scrolled through the messages. "I don't know. But he said he was chillin with y'all at the studio, not to hit him up."

"We didn't even meet yesterday. No one was at the studio." Flex said, his back still turned in his chair.

I guess Trisha could read my face which had probably lost some of its color. I didn't know what to think, he wasn't hurt, if he was hurt or in danger he wouldn't have lied to Pookie. What was he doing that he needed to lie? What if he was with another girl. I really tried not to let my thoughts get the best of me, but I was curious. A few hours in the studio passed. No music was being recorded we were all just talking about Francis. Pookie told Trevon everything that happen in the park and of course Trev didn't take it well. We ordered pizza and listened to tracks Flex had produced that were Grammy nominated. We even let him brag but we were too used to him to hype it up.

Pookie walked me home after we walked Trish and as soon as I got inside, I pulled out my cell and hit up Trevon.

The phone rang twice and then went to voicemail. I gritted my teeth, getting angrier and more suspicious. Then my suspicion turned to fear.

Where have you been? Are you ok?

I texted. He replied in only minutes.

Yea

Me: So why u missed studio time? u know flex focuses on u now.

Trev: u sound salty

Me: nah neva that lol

Trev: Nah you sound salty bro. A lil jealous

Me: You sound cocky as always

Trev: Big ego shit

Me: really tho, where u been? ...

Trev: busy

Me: That's all I get for not seeing you for two days?

Trev: Chanel what more you want? What answer u lookin for?

Me: ..nothing. goodnight

An hour had passed since we been texting and I had gotten nowhere. So I decided to leave him alone and go to bed. It wasn't long before I heard a knock at my door. I already knew it was him, I didn't even look.

I opened the door to a black hoody and blue coat, his almond eyes peeked through his hood at me and though he towered over me like a scary giant, I could only wrap my arms around his waist like a little girl who missed her father all day while he was at work.

He hugged me back briefly then let me go, which caused a slight pain in my chest. He walked pass me and to my couch. I guess mom was sleeping since I haven't seen her since I got in. The tension was so great you could cut it with a knife. But I was severely confused. I sat in the seat across from him and crossed my legs, staring at his face that he allowed to betray no emotions. He took his hood and coat off and I could see his clenched jaw.

"What's wrong?" I asked concerned.

"What's wrong with you?" He replied. I stared at him like he had four heads. Unable to even answer. "Don't let this girlfriend thing get to your head."

I wanted to kill him. He knows how long it's taken me to like anybody in the world. He's heard my deepest poems, and everything I've dealt with concerning my mother and father. How could he talk to me like that? He never spoke to me like that.

I swallowed and looked away from him.

"What do you mean?" I said as calmly as I could manage.

"You're hitting me up asking where I am. What I'm doing-"

"Because I was worried and because I missed you. Since when is that a crime?" I cut him off.

"Don't do it. That's all. That ends the argument, don't do it." He shrugged.

"I've done it before and you haven't said anything." I said in disbelief.

"Ok now i'm telling you to stop." He said sternly.

"Why, what are you hiding, Trev?" I looked at him, my eyes already teary. I was so shocked he was talking to me like this. He didn't answer or look at me.

"What are you hiding from me? Tell me." I said again.

"Chanel, just chill, iight?"

"Are you talking to other girls?" I asked frustrated. I was not one to be played and I wouldn't be played like the others he's messed with before because I was smart and everything anyone would want. Trisha raised me to believe that.

"I'm tight you just asked me that. I'm really fucking tight you just asked me that." He mumbled almost like he was talking to himself. He shook his head before laying it in his hands.

"Why would I be talking to someone else? Why do y'all think think any problem we go through is due to you? It has nothing to do with you." His legs were impatiently shaking and I was sitting across from him with small tears rolling down my face. I quickly wiped them away before he looked up at me.

He saw through me anyway. I couldn't keep my composure around him. Immediately his hard face softened. He sucked his teeth. "Come here." He said.

I got up and went over to him and he pulled me into his lap, wrapped his arms around me and kissed my cheek a dozen times. I sniffle and rub my eyes.

"Baby, I'm sorry." He said with the softest voice. I wrapped my arms around him.

"You can't talk to me like that." I said like a spoiled baby, he nod his head understanding.

"I know, i'm sorry." He pulled my face up to his and kissed me lightly. "I'm going through some shit. It don't got nothing to do with you and I would never talk to another girl when I have a beautiful woman right in front of me who means the world. Never." He said kissing me again. I lay my head on his chest.

"I spent years trying to get you. I'm not going to throw that away. Iight?"

I nod and close my eyes against his chest, still sniffling. I was surprised at myself. I never thought I'd cry over anything like this. I felt his arms tighten around me.

"I shouldn't have taken it out on you but I really can't tell you anything right now. You just gotta understand. Gimme another kiss." Though still upset that he wouldn't tell me anything, I reached my lips up to him for another peck.

"I missed you." He says after he kisses my forehead.

"I missed you too." I have to clear my throat before I respond. He lifts my face up and wipes my eyes. I look into his and I can see trouble brewing. What was going on? Why couldn't he just tell me?

"I need you to stay off the block as much as you can. Okay? Be at the studio, be at school helping Trisha, study. Don't be on this block." His voice is stern and warning. It makes me cringe.

"I'll try, but are YOU going to stay off the block? Are YOU okay? And Francis?"

"I told you baby, I can't really talk about any of that. Ima be okay, I'm always okay. Everything is going to be fine if you stay off the block, Trisha and your mom too. Just listen to me. None of that stubborn shit you always do." He kissed me a few more times before lifting me effortlessly off his lap and standing up to get his things.

"Don't leave." I pleaded.

"You want your mom to kill me?" He asks hysterically. It made me chuckle.

"She won't know. She leaves for work early, and I don't have to leave the house till 10 AM. I'll lock my door." I say positive that mom wouldn't know he was here.

He tampered with his coat and looked up the stairs as if he was thinking about it.

"You made me cry, at least stay with me." I say childishly.

"You spoiled, you know that?" He responds, handing me his coat and hoodie. I take his shoes up from the door and place them all into my room. He walks in first and I walk in after him. Mom's door is closed and though she is a light sleeper, there is little chance she could hear us from across the hallway. As soon as we get in, I close my door quietly and climb into bed. He strips down to his boxers and t-shirt and slides in next to me, pulling me into an embrace, sliding his fingers between mine and interlocking our legs. I am completely wrapped up in him. I wouldn't ask any questions now, but he's crazy if he think he's just not going to tell me things. For now, I am happy he's alive and with me.

"I love you." I say without thought.

"I love you too." He says against my neck, without any thought or hesitation. Still, I second guessed his answer but like the mind reader he is, he repeats it. 

"I really do love you, Chanel."