Unedited.

HELL. HELL AND highwater.

I am Satan's dinner.

I smell burning flesh

And heaven sings,

'Send the sinner off to simmer!'

Well mortality is rigged

and god's bad at bets

So I wasn't born a winner,

But what a little fucker that guy is,

My hope is somehow stretched thinner

And hell spreads wide open–

Taking me in like a whore

And I'd spit in his eye

for giving me life

But nothing surprises me anymore.

"I don't feel like I'm becoming a better person. It's taking too much time. Whenever I leave here I feel like I've been raked up for memories and information I've only ever wanted to forget."

The ceiling whirred silently, and the tapping of Katsuki's foot was the only sound in the office. With Izuku returning to campus the next day, and this session being his last for a couple of weeks, Katsuki wanted to get this rant off of his chest while he could.

"I started this shit for Deku. For the people that put up with me. I wanted to not be such a burden for them, but this shit you've been making me do only makes me confused. And it shows." His voice lowered into a whisper. "He doesn't say anything, but I know he's worried about me. Feels like I'm getting the opposite of what I need right now."

"Katsuki," Nemuri hummed, removing her glasses and setting them aside.

"Have you been confronting your memories, or have you been confronting yourself?"

Katsuki scowled. "What does that even mean? What else have I been trying to do this entire fucking time?"

Realizing Katsuki's preference for bluntness, Ms. Nemuri tried a different approach. "You should not be trying to better yourself solely because it'd make life easier for other people," she frowned. "That too is important, but this largely about you, Katsuki. By being in a relationship with that mindset, you're really just using your partner to stall the lingering distaste you have for yourself." She looked Katsuki with a stern, yet motherly like warmth that made him actually listen.

"Your internal battle with accepting your sexuality is a natural result of your past. You are strong enough to have a will to move past that, so it's fine to not have your self-love down pat on the first try. It's a process, one that takes time, which makes it even more rewarding when you've fully evolved. Don't make the mistake of keeping that one pill cures all mentality as you move further into the relationship."

She smiled softly. "Acknowledging your past is crucial, but you're not your past by any means. I'm only here to help you channel your pain into growth."

Katsuki leaned back. "Okay," he muttered. "I get it."

"Good!" Nemuri said, a bright smile on her youthful features. She clasped her hands together. "So, last time I asked you to bring something that reflected how you felt about something in the past, and how you feel now in comparison." She leaned in with interest. "I'm guessing you brought an old poem?"

Katsuki sighed, fishing a wrinkled, worn notepad from his sweater pocket. He opened the small book, skipping a page or two before pausing.

He looked up from the page. "This is from two years ago. Do I have to read it out loud?" He whined with the likeness of a shy middle schooler who had to read in front of the class.

"Only if you're comfortable with it," Nemuri reassured. "I can read it if you're uncomfortable with that-"

"I'll do it," Katsuki cut in, his pride getting the better of him. He inhaled deeply before reading.

"It is spring.

The bed is warm.

I almost wish it was my mother's, but I'm glad it's not.

I lay my head on my captor's bosom. My muscles coil.

Naivety is preferred,

Choosing makes you spoiled.

There's nothing to lose.

I'm a worm on a hook.

Innocence isn't ideal,

Love can't be textbook."

_____________

When Izuku arrived on campus again, he was first greeted by Katsuki and Denki.

"We missed you, man!" Denki sniffled, pulling Izuku into a bear hug. Katsuki huffed miserably.

"Give him space, sparky. Jesus."

"I missed you guys too," Izuku said, smiling. He turned to Katsuki, opening his arms.

With a hint of shyness, Katsuki stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Izuku's torso. "How were things?"

Izuku leaned back, sighing. "Okay, I guess."

"His funeral is in two weeks," Inko hummed, brushing out Izuku's tangled curls. He flinched from the sting.

He cocked a brow. "And?"

"I'm encouraging you to go if you're up to it. I'll arrange transportation for you." She shrugged. "I hated him, but he's still your father. Maybe you'll learn something new about him- about his other family. What kind of man he became after he left."

"Aren't... Aren't you going?" Izuku whispered, afraid that his question was insensitive. Inko ruffled his hair in reassurance.

"I have extra shifts on Saturdays now, sport."

Katsuki noticed Izuku's silence. He decided to ask him about it later.

They all boarded into Katsuki's car once Izuku threw his hefty bag into the trunk before heading down the road.

"How were your holidays spent?" Izuku asked curiously. Denki brightened.

"Pretty good. Jirou came with me."

Izuku raised his brows. "That's pretty cool. Is it her first time meeting your parents?"

Katsuki scoffed, cutting in. "They've been dating since the tenth grade. Their parents are practically buddies. We just left together in my car, since most of us live in the same neighborhood."

"Oh!" Izuku knew their friend group went to high school together, but he didn't know they all lived that close too. He smiled fondly. They were like he, Ochako, and Iida. Speaking of them, he hadn't seen his friends in a while. That was partly because of their differing schedules, but Izuku was reluctant to admit that he'd ignored a call or two from them.

Denki whined in exasperation. "Man, let me explain it myself." He leaned forward to the front passenger seat where Izuku sat. "But yeah, what he said. Me, Sero, Jirou, and Mina hitched a ride."

He leaned back again. "I stopped by Jirou's place, too. Her folks totally love me, man."

"Or they find you amusing since you're so dumb," Katsuki snickered.

Izuku snorted and Denki rolled his eyes. "That was uncalled for," he huffed.

"What about Kirishima?" Izuku asked curiously. "Did he go with you guys?"

"He left before us. His folks wanted him home a bit earlier since he usually helps with the hefty stuff," Kaminari informed. "He won't be back till tomorrow, either."

"Oh." Explains why he isn't here with us.

Izuku smiled. He'd have to ask Kirishima how his holidays were once he got back.

"And you, Kacchan?" Izuku hummed.

Katsuki shrugged nonchalantly. "Was okay. Hag wouldn't stop insisting that I fatten up, though. They made me take a cheesy picture with them and shit."

"Did you meet anyone, brat?" Mitski said, pulling on Katsuki's ears. "You're all docile- all trained and shit. It's impressive!"

"Don't provoke him Mitski," Masaru said, exasperated.

"I'm docile because I'm going to the shitty therapy you forced me into, you hag!" Katsuki yelled. Mitski laughed brilliantly.

"But," Katsuki's voice lowered to a large degree, and Mitski paused on her pulling, listening intently.

He turned away shyly. "I guess I have met someone, you nosy hag. I don't know... he might be a part of it."

Mitski cocked an eyebrow before ruffling his hair with a grin. "I see."

Masaru smiled, warmth filling his chest. "You wanna tell us about him?"

Katsuki shrugged, his ears reddening. "If I ever feel like it."

His voice softened a little. "But... it wasn't half bad."

Izuku smiled.

Soon enough, they were at Izuku's dorm complex.

After taking out his bag, Izuku headed to the entrance.

"Deku," Katsuki said, his eyes scanning Izuku over. "We're hanging out later. It's a party for the new semester. You in?"

Izuku nodded. "Sure, why not."

"I think we need to talk too," Katsuki said."I uh, I want to know if you're... okay."

Izuku caught on, chuckling a little. "You're pretty observant, huh?"

Katsuki huffed. "You're not the only perceptible one, you veggie."

Denki stared back and forth between them, completely lost.

"Anyway, later. I'll pick you up."

With one last goodbye, Katsuki drove off with Kaminari in tow.

_________

The evening had begun.

Izuku pulled on a red turtle neck sweater and pitch black jeans, the colours contrasting nicely with his eyes and hair. He grabbed a pouch, throwing his phone, keys, and some money in there before slinging it over his shoulder.

After pulling on a pair of Vans, he exited the room, locking the door.

Izuku raced downstairs, his breathing short by the time he got outside. At the entrance of the complex was Katsuki, seated on a sleek, black motorbike.

His light blond hair was caught in a low ponytail, stray strands escaping the hold and framing his face. All of his piercings were in, and he sported a plain black tee, jeans, and matching combat boots.

Izuku froze, his breath hitching. Suddenly, he was reminded of how attractive Katsuki truly was.

"Where'd you get that?" He breathed.

Katsuki grinned. "Got it from my old man over the break. Wanted to give it a spin. Hop on."

Izuku inched forward with nervousness, reluctantly mounting the bike. "Please don't kill me on this thing."

"I'd never. Hold onto me." Katsuki's voice was gentle, and Izuku obeyed, wrapping his arms snugly around his partner's torso. His cheeks reddened.

The engine revved angrily, and soon, they were taking off.

The first few seconds were frightening, but that feeling quickly morphed into exhilaration.

Wind whipped at Izuku's hair and swept over his skin, and he leaned his head on Katsuki's shoulders. His body felt so warm. Comforting to hold on to.

To zip past everything with ease, to be this close to someone he loved so much as he did, it felt... freeing. Freeing and beautiful.

"Hey," Izuku said, voice struggling to raise over the wind and engine. Katsuki hummed in acknowledgement; Izuku felt the vibrations of it as he leaned in further.

"I think... I think I love you."

Katsuki stiffened.

"Well... I think I love you too."

Izuku laughed, lifting his head to take in his surroundings. Buildings were slipping away. Passing strangers were nothing but blurs. It was almost like they were above it all. Maybe they were.

"You make me happy." Izuku's voice was quieter, but Katsuki caught it.

You're giving me too much credit, Katsuki thought, and he folded his lips. They were approaching their destination now.

The bike eventually slowed, pulling up where the group sat together on a parapet, a few feet away from the crowds that'd gathered nearby. There was music playing faintly and collective chatters filled the space.

Once the engine died down, Sero hopped off the wall, stepping forward with a grin. "Hey, Midoriya! You're back already?"

Izuku slowly unmounted the bike, huffing. He smiled in return, accepting the warm bear hug Sero pulled him into. "Yup!"

"C'mon guys!" Mina was seated comfortably, dark brown skin glowing under the dim lights as she dangled her exposed legs idly. With her was Jirou, Todoroki, and Yaoyorozu. Shinsou had been sitting quietly beside Denki on the other half of the wall.

Katsuki made his way over to the group, mounting the wall and effortlessly Izuku up to join him.

As the minutes went by and conversations about their individual winter breaks flowed, The sky darkened as night began to creep in.

Yaoyorozu took notice, staring up at the empty sky with a quiet hum. "I can't wait for this school year to finally end."

Denki groaned. "You can say that again. My Lit courses have been pains in the ass."

"I thought you loved Literature." Todoroki tilted his head in question. "You do a lot of essay writing then, don't you? But you knew what you were getting into when you switched majors."

"I mean, yeah," Kaminari rubbed at his neck, a small sheepish smile on his face. "But it's been a piece of work, more than what I expected. I don't want to start over again, though. What about you, Midoriya? I bet you know what I mean."

Izuku laughed a little. "I mean, the deadlines have been a bit much, but I work well enough under pressure. I've always loved French and Literature, and I've always been decent at essays, so it hasn't been too hard yet."

"Yet," Denki supplied, gesturing vaguely with his hand as he cocked a blond brow.

Shinsou snorted, taking a long sip from his cup. "Exactly. First years have it easy."

Izuku looked to Katsuki, who only shrugged. He oftentimes forgot that their entire group, with the exception of himself, were second years.

"Speaking of the end of the year," Sero piped up, "The Starlight Fest is coming up, right?"

"Yeah. It's been stressing me out honestly. We have to cram in more band practices," Jirou huffed tiredly. "Our classes make it hard to schedule. Plus, the other music groups tend to rent out the auditorium when we are free. We need an alternative, and soon. It's so close now."

"What's the setlist? How many songs are you guys doing?" Izuku asked, leaning in with curiosity.

"Four songs!" Mina answered with enthusiasm. She turned to Jirou. "Right? You guys are doing four?"

Jirou nodded, chuckling a little. "Yeah. We're doing the songs you saw us practice. We might switch out the last song though. It's undecided."

Izuku nodded in understanding. "Do you do all the songwriting?"

Katsuki nudged his side. "You underestimating me or something, Deku?"

Izuku's eyes widened. "You write them?"

"Both of us do," Jirou grinned. "I'm better with melodies though."

"Smartass," Katsuki said, a small grin spreading on his face as he took a sip of his beer.

"I never asked," Izuku realized, "But what are you guys called? What's your band name?"

"Oh," Katsuki replied, "It's Collide."

Izuku smiled cheesily. "Cool."

"This is random, but have you spoken to Ochako lately?" Mina asked shuffling over. Izuku chuckled awkwardly.

"Not in weeks, no."

"No wonder!" Mina exclaimed, her eyes wide as she patted away at Izuku's shoulder. He flinched. "I-Is something wrong, or-"

"She and Four Eyes have been worried about you." Mina sighed, leaning back again. "But they haven't been able to get to you. Is your phone working?"

Izuku's heart flooded with guilt. Katsuki noticed. "Will you give it a rest, Pinky? Stop guilt-tripping him and shit."

Mina jolted, waving her hands around in panic. "Wait, I didn't mean to-- really! She's just been talking to me about it and-"

"No, no," Izuku cut in, shaking his head. "It's fine. I just... I've just been tired lately. I'll talk to them as soon as I can."

Truth be told, Izuku hadn't spoken to anyone in a while. He'd only seen Katsuki and his friends, and that was mostly because they were nearer and a lot more persistent.

Todoroki gave Izuku a knowing look. "You don't owe anyone anything. I think everyone deserves time away from stuff every once in a while, Midoriya."

Izuku jumped a little, surprised that Shoto pitched in on the conversation. He was notorious for being quiet in most instances.

Izuku recalled when Shoto had told him he liked him weeks ago. A part of him wondered if that still applied.

Not that it mattered. He had officially begun dating Katsuki since then, anyway. That must've been why Shoto didn't bother pursuing further.

Izuku smiled. "That's a good point."

Sero waved his blunt around. "Who wants a hit?"

"What's in it?" Mina asked curiously.

Kaminari leaned his head on Jirou's shoulder, a dopey grin on his face. "Hulkberry."

Izuku reached forward, curious. "I'll give it a shot."

Katsuki side-eyed him, deciding to silence himself. He didn't want to seem like a controlling babysitter; he knew Izuku didn't fancy that treatment.

Sero handed the burning stick over to Izuku. "Small takes, yeah? It hits hard. It'll give you a lot to think about."

"Got it," Izuku hummed as he took it in, inhaling the smoke. He repeated the action and handed the blunt to Mina, giving Katsuki a glance.

Izuku giggled a little. "You called me out here, but you're being so boring, Kacchan."

Katsuki snorted. "Well, someone's gotta stay sober to babysit your dumbass." Izuku scowled, playfully shoving him in return.

As the sky darkened further, the hours winded onward, and the buzz grew stronger, Izuku rested his head on Katsuki's shoulders, his messy mop of curls tickling his boyfriend's chin.

"Hey, don't fall asleep here. Wanna go home?" Katsuki whispered. Izuku shook his head a little.

"Not yet. It's still kind of early, don't you think?"

Katsuki sighed. "It's nine o' clock. It's okay to hit the sack, asparagus."

Izuku sat up, giving Katsuki a look that was crossed between dopey amusement and exhaustion. "You still calling me that?"

Katsuki leaned in, kissing his nose. "You still calling me Kacchan?"

"You wanted to be called that," Izuku laughed, scrunching his nose. He rubbed at it a little. "That tickled, by the way."

"Whatever," Katsuki huffed, feigning irritation.

Izuku sighed and leaned back, his eyes scrutinizing the sky above him.

"I need to pee."

Katsuki blinked. "Huh?"

Izuku hopped off the wall, Brushing off imaginary dirt. Katsuki squinted.

"Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom, silly."

Katsuki hopped off the wall too, grabbing the attention of the rest of the group. "Okay. I'm coming with you."

Izuku made a face. "It's just the bathroom, Kacchan. I'll be fine."

"But... The last time-" Katsuki cut himself off, not wanting to bring such a thing up. He inhaled. "Listen, your high might climb. Assholes always creep around at night, Deku. I want to make sure you're fine."

"It's really not a big deal, Kacchan," Izuku sighed. "I can handle myself. I promise. This... This conversation is starting to feel ridiculous. I'm not a child."

"Deku-"

"I'll be right back."

Izuku took off, disappearing into the crowd. Sero whistled.

"You're doing too much, Bakugou."

Katsuki's head snapped to the monotone voice. Todoroki.

He scoffed, face contorting in irritation. "Shut the fuck up, half off. This has nothing to do with you."

"Midoriya's not to be babied and fussed over like that. If you can't trust him to do a basic task, then you're not his boyfriend." Todoroki ignored the warning, giving his input anyway.

"You're just his father."