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felt rushed.

It all happened too fast. There wasn't a moment for Maddox to prepare for the inevitable. He spent so much time trying to be positive for his mom, trying to live for his mom.

But how could he do that if his light was no longer there to live by him?

The moment it happened, everything spiraled downwards. Maddox locked himself in the metaphorical cage he had been in since forever. He stayed away from everyone else. His mother's death was difficult to comprehend.

It was hard to stomach, the fact that death takes away even the best people. It made reality so much more apparent. All of a sudden, Evelyn remembered everything wrong in her life, she realized how nothing had changed. She's with the boy she liked beyond words and that allowed her to forget about everything that caused her pain.

Malia Lohan's death was like a slap in the face.

It was shaking her out of the haze she had been in and now she saw clearly, she let herself be happy as if all her problems were fixed. What the hell was she thinking?

She hesitated to knock on the door.

The dark brown mahogany door that stood proudly in front of her. Behind that door would be the boy who was broken beyond repair. The boy she only wanted to help, to love. Biting her lip, she took a deep breath before letting her knuckles sound a signal of her arrival. She was tense and stared down at the ground, not wanting to see the world around her, to see how everyone was living and laughing. To see how a good chunk of the population didn't even know Malia. How life moves on after death.

It was a morbid thought to say the least.

Suddenly, the door flew open with a brooding Maddox standing in front of her. Being pulled from her thoughts, she stared at him blankly. As she realized that he was right there, close enough to touch, to comfort, she wanted nothing more than to bring him into her arms. But she knew better now. She knew he wasn't available.

"Maddox," she nodded her head in acknowledgement, offering him a dim smile. Throwing out her warnings to herself to not touch him, she found herself reaching for his hand. Just as her fingers grasped the tips of his, he moved back abruptly. Her breathing seized and the pang in her heart was hard to ignore. Why did everyone always leave her?

If the hurt was noticeable in her expression, Maddox didn't waste the time to care.

"What do you want?" he stated annoyed. It was clear he didn't want to see her.

She took a deep breath, "I just wanted to come see how you were. I haven't seen you in a week." It was true. Her contact with him had been limited and it was frustrating being away from the one person who made her feel the most comfortable.

He cocked his head a bit to the side as he leaned against the doorframe. Arms crossed and expression blank, it was obvious he wasn't in the mood to talk. Still, she found herself asking to enter his mansion. The gigantic home that suddenly was nothing but a house. He moved to the side letting her slip past before closing the door and walking back to his room. She followed him, confused as to why he was being so harsh.

He laid down on his unmade bed, signaling that he hadn't moved much around the house in a while. He threw his arm over his eyes, clearly not wanting to see the bright lights of his room. Evelyn cautiously dimmed the lights until they were just barely faint enough to illuminate the dark aura that surrounded them.

She moved towards the bed, laying down beside him and putting her hand over his arm. She just wanted to be there for him. She wanted to be someone's rock. She wanted to feel wanted.

Noticing that he didn't jerk away from her, she made a brave decision before shifting closer until her body was pressed up against his side. She maneuvered her head so it laid on his chest.

"Let me be there for you," she mumbled as she played around with the hem of his sweatpants. She felt a little embarrassed at the fact that he was shirtless and she was right up against him. He didn't respond to her weak plea to not shut her out and that left her feeling more than dejected. When he moved from underneath her, she sighed before pushing herself up to let him move away, to maybe go to another room where she wasn't. She didn't want to bother him and she knew she was. She just didn't want to accept the fact that he was getting fed up with her.

He moved so he was facing her before grabbing her waist to bring her down beside him. His arm squeezed her close and his thumb was tracing the skin at her waist. She stiffened at his action before smiling slightly.

Maybe he did need her.

"Sleep," he murmured in her ear before placing a featherlight kiss against her temple and bringing her impossibly close to him.

She was incredibly tired, but more than anything she wanted for Maddox to talk to her. To confide and cry. She didn't like that he was being so closed off as if no one would give a damn about his feelings. Because for gods sake, she cared so damn much that the thought of his pain hurt her.

As she was about to ask him to talk to her, she heard his quiet snores and peaceful breathing. He was asleep and it seemed he hadn't been getting any sleep for a while now. She lifted her head to look up at his face. She brought her hand up to cup his cheek as she pressed a light kiss on his jawline.

"I love you," she whispered softly before tucking her head under his neck and closing her eyes.

It was the first time she had admitted that statement out loud. She had known for a while but she wasn't sure if she was allowed to love him. If he wanted her to love him. Being asleep however, it was much too easy to say those three words out loud. It felt so right to tell him. It was as if she was meant to love him and only him. As she felt him squeeze her closer, she let out a sigh of content because god was this all she needed. For him to need her to be comforted.

Closing her eyes, she felt herself tumble into a deep slumber. As the rest of the world faded out, a quiet voice spoke out from somewhere.

I love you too.

~•~

It was loud and boisterous. The air carried the horrid stench of alcohol along with it and the scent was enough to intoxicate someone by just inhaling it. The sweaty and blanketed environment made Reese's mansion seem all too small. Suddenly Evelyn felt as if she had been thrusted into a dark closet with no way out

After their little nap, Maddox had removed his arm from her as soon as he noticed her eyes open and her lips form a gentle smile. It was as if he didn't want to see her be happy. Like he couldn't take the idea of it, of her being happy.

The phone rang and he rushed to answer. One phone call later, they were both standing in front of Reese's home and the ground beneath them trembled from how loud the music was blaring. The neighbors wouldn't ever bother calling the cops though, they knew not to bother with Reese's shenanigans.

Evelyn sighed as she took a seat on the chair which she had sat on countless times whilst her appointments with Maverly. She wished that Maverly were sitting in front of her at the moment, telling her what to do, helping her cope with death. Realizing how much Malia's death had affected her made her mourn all the more for Maddox's pain. After all, she had met Malia on a few occasions but to Maddox? Well he had seen her when he first opened his eyes once being born.

Malia and Maddox had been through a tremendous amount of pain and suffering. They had each other to fall back on, to hold onto. Suddenly his rock was no longer there and it's like he fell right off the edge. He was somewhere, god knows where, getting even more drunk than when she had seen him previously. He had been talking up some girl, but Evelyn knew not to take it to heart. She didn't expect much of a relationship from him in the first place and it's not like they had vocalized anything about an exclusive relationship.

She continuously repeated that in her head to get rid of the pain she felt just thinking about him leaning into that random girl.

Fidgeting with her fingers, her knee shaking and her jagged breathing, there was no doubt she would cry any moment. Luckily the door opened before she could allow herself to succumb to the constant whispers telling her to let it out.

Taking a shaking breath she opened her mouth, "Sorry this roo—- this room is off limits."

However, the sentence died on her lips as Reese made his appearance by poking his head in, "Could I join you?"

She nodded her head and gestured for him to sit down on the couch across from her. As he took his seat and surveyed the room, his eyes made their way to observe her. Offering him a slight smile, she glanced down and began playing with her fingers once more. The silence was agonizing and she felt extremely out of place in a room she had begun to feel comfortable in a long time back.

"You know," his voice sliced through the dense atmosphere that seemed almost impossible to penetrate through. "I just wanted him to forget. That's why I decided on the party and invited him."

"I know."

She leaned forward and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. A squeeze that portrayed her gratitude to him for being there for Maddox, since the day they were born.

He took a deep breath, an overwhelming amount of emotions coursing through his veins, "You might think he's gone, but he's not. He's pushing you away because he doesn't want to cause even more pain in the future. Please just let him lash out and he'll be fine. Sometimes letting the emotions out is a more fitting method to coping."

Evelyn choked on her saliva and let out a light laugh.

"What?" Reese deadpanned.

"You sound like your mother," she spoke quietly."

"What can I say? I'm told I inherited her genes."

Evelyn smiled up at him, knowing what he was attempting to do. He was just trying to distract her from reality for a short second. It worked while it did and now she was back to the real world. The world where this little room she resided in would not be the only thing. There was more beyond the mahogany walls and she knew it was time to go check on Maddox.

"I should go check on him," she sighed before biting her lip. The silence in the room was once again disturbed as they both got up before exiting the room.

"Thank you for always being there for him," she addressed towards Reese with a smile. He gave her a side hug before letting her know he saw Maddox go upstairs.

Taking each step with a cautious nature, it took about a whole minute before Evelyn finally made it upstairs. The music was drowned out and much less pronounced as the upstairs level of the house emitted nothing but her quiet breaths and faint footsteps. Walking towards the one room which had a soft glow of light from underneath the door, she assumed it was the room Maddox had taken hibernation in.

Opening the door, she came face to face with the image of Maddox laying down on the huge guest bed with a bottle of Jack Daniels being held loosely in his hand. He raised his head at the sound of the creaking door and stared at Evelyn for a few seconds. The moment was much too similar to earlier that day. She sighed before walking towards him and gently prying the bottle out of his hands. Immediately he pushed himself up and glared at her.

"Fucking hell Evelyn give me the damn bottle."

She shook her head giving him a look of desperation, trying to make him stop, "You've had enough bottles to fill a lake."

"Yet I haven't cried enough tears to do so," he mumbled quietly under his breath. Unfortunately she had heard his melancholic words and her heart broke further for him.

"It's okay," she whispered as she grasped him hand.

"Stop it," he snapped, "give me the damn bottle and get the hell out. I was doing just fine without you. Then you had to waltz into my life and suddenly I wanted to spend my time with you," he said with disgust as he mentioned her once again. "While my mother was dying on the very tiles of my kitchen floor, I was too busy being with you."

"It was no one's fault Maddox, it was life," she said softly knowing not to get angry at him. She had seen this exact behavior with her father when his mother died. She knew what death could do and the worst thing for the living to do was make the mourner seem like it was wrong for them to act out.

Losing someone never feels like a walk in the park.

Noticing as his anger diminished and the life drained out of him, she closed her eyes in relief. Anger was an exhausting emotion and sadly it was the most commonly used one when it came to situations like these. She wishes that there was an emotion that could be felt that wasn't as exhausting. As time consuming.

"I just want her back Evelyn," he murmured quietly grabbing her waist to pull her in, to be in her comforting hands.

"I know you do," she spoke cradling his head to her chest, "I know you do. It hurts now and it'll always hurt when you think about it, but you will get past it. Not because you can but because you have to Maddox."

It was pointless making a soft cushiony bed for him to fall into when the time comes to move on from his mother's death. It was better to get the harsh truth over with.

He lifted his head to look at her and all the anguish in his eyes faded into something else as he watched Evelyn biting her lip. The moment was no longer about mourning. It was a moment filled with unexpected lust.

"Can I kiss you?" he mumbled out as he gently pushed their bodies towards the bed.

Her cheeks flushed and she found herself whispering a breathless 'yes' despite the fact she hadn't touched a single drink. She was as sober as a goddamn priest.

She fell back on the bed and his body hovered over hers before capturing her lips in a rushed manner. His hands roamed down from her waist to her upper thigh and she moaned at the feeling of his thumb brushing against her soft skin. He kissed down her neck and soon enough her dressed was being pushed down to her tummy as his lips followed down to the valley between her breasts.

He's drunk.

The thought entered her head and within the next second she had pushed him off and rushed to sit up. She grabbed the covers to drape over her half naked body and her heart was racing beyond belief.

What the hell was she thinking?

"What the hell?"

She watched as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair clearly thinking he would get laid tonight. She felt stupid for leading him on like that and she wanted to slap herself for getting carried away.

"I'm sorry," she whispered in a choked cry. A tear fell down her cheek as her emotions ran on overdrive.

Hearing her plea, Maddox grabbed her around the waist before hoisting her to sit on top of him. He kissed her neck softly and kept whispering apologies in her ear, "I'm sorry it's my fault." The effects of his drinking were starting to fade as the moment thrust him back into the present.

"I just wa—-I just want you to remember."

Her voice was just above a whisper and her statement was vague, but he understood. It would be her first time and she didn't want to do it with someone who wouldn't remember the morning after.

"God I'm so fucking stupid," he scoffed, "I really know how to fuck things up huh."

She shook her head kissing him softly on the lips, "I perfectly like your way of fucking things up."

"Let's just sleep," he murmured into her ear. His gentle and hoarse voice coaxed her into taking off her dress and sliding into the bed beside him. His hands found her petite form before bringing her close.

"I'm sorry," he whispered once again.

She didn't say anything because she was sick of saying it's not his fault or that it's okay. She hated having to convince him that he's fine because she knew that's what he needed to hear. But she couldn't lie to him like that anymore. Their relationship was going downhill and she knew it. So instead, she opted to kiss the spot on his chest above his heart not wanting to say anything more because god knows he had stolen her heart and made her his.

It was going to hurt when their time together ended.

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